Something I Recently Realized That Helped Me Understand My Aro-spec Identity Is That My "crushes" That

Something I recently realized that helped me understand my aro-spec identity is that my "crushes" that I can remember weren't actually fueled by romantic attraction for the person. They were actually fueled by attraction towards the idea of dating/liking them, but not actually them as a person. I wanted to find my soulmate and as soon as I found someone that I thought fit that ideal, I would start daydreaming about being with them, but I wasn't really attracted to them as a person, just my idealized version of them and the relationship. As a result, I couldn't really name any traits about those people that I liked, aside from surface level ones like, "funny," "nice," and "hardworking." And while I was aesthetically attracted to them, I never really fantasized about kissing them or being super romantic with them (aside from maybe hand-holding or hugging), and if I ever tried, it made me uncomfortable and felt like I was violating them. Did anyone else have a similar experience or is it just me?

More Posts from Matcha-milo and Others

3 years ago

rb to have a very gay 2022

8 months ago

Reblog if

Trans ftm are valid

Trans mtf are valid

Enby peeps are valid

Intersex peeps are valid

Feminine enbys are valid

Masculine enbys are valid

Androgynous enbys are valid

Feminine trans men are valid

Feminine trans women are valid

Masculine trans men are valid

Masculine trans women are valid

Lesbians are valid

Gay people are valid

Bisexuals are valid

Trans people are valid

Queer people are valid

Asexual people are valid

Aromantic people are valid

Aroace people are valid

Pansexuals are valid

Omni peeps are valid

Genderfluid peeps are valid

Agender peeps are valid

Genderqueer peeps are valid

Demisexuals are valid

Demi boys are valid

Demigirl are valid

Aceflux are valid

Aroflux are valid

Acchileans are valid

Neptunic peeps are valid

Bigender peeps are valid

Designer peeps are valid

Enbian peeps are valid

Fluid flux peeps are valid

Hypersexual peeps are valid

Peeps with autism are valid

Peeps with ADD/ADHD are valid

Neurodivergent peeps in general are valid

LGBT folks are valid

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maps are not valid

Transracial people are not valid

Super straights are not valid

MIGHT ADD MORE!

Please correct me on any wrong information or any flags you’d like to see in there

Or if I should take down the not valid stuff

PLS GIVE ME FEEDBACK

8 months ago

Am I the only aroace-spec person who read a lot of fanfic when I was younger, but instead of inserting myself into the reader insert stories, I would just insert one of my characters or a random OC that was similar to me but not the same, bc it felt weird to put myself into those situations?

Or was that just me?


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6 months ago

I want a relationship that is completely undefinable by any existing labels or words. Like, we're so close and we hug and kiss each other's foreheads and cuddle and travel and explore together, and we get along so well and have so much in common. But at the same time, our relationship isn't fully romantic or fully platonic; it's a completely separate, open-to-interpretation thing that we tweaked as needed, and we have our own boundaries and things we are and aren't comfortable with, and we respect each other in every way, shape, and form.


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3 years ago

edgy emo guy with long hair, jewelry, and dark clothes

alright maybe nobody will get what i'm talking about but writers, what's your character type? what's that one brand of character who is in EVERY SINGLE WIP YOU EVER HAVE. mine's the serious badass older-sister-figure with a blonde pixie cut

7 months ago

donna tartt: literally writes an entire 600 page book about how it can be dangerous to do things just for the aesthetic

us, already making pinterest boards: oh to be a classics student in vermont in the 80s drinking whiskey from a teacup and occasionally murdering people 

8 months ago

Idk if I'm the only aro-spec person who is like this, but I need to talk about it bc it's been on my mind so much lol

So, like...in general, I have a complicated relationship with romance. In fiction (books/movies/tv/fanfic), I only really like queer romance. Two guys? All for it! Two girls? All for it! NB person with someone else? All for it! Granted, there will always be exceptions and romance stories that I prefer more than others, but by large, I tend to enjoy most queer romance stories that I consume. HOWEVER, for some strange reason, when it comes to straight romance stories, I almost always get squicked out or uncomfortable!! AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHYYYY!!! Like, it could be nearly identical to a queer romance story, but I would still be uncomfy if it was heterosexual, and I don't know why!!!!!!

When it comes to irl romance, I'm usually either indifferent or uncomfortable with it, no matter if it's queer or straight. Like, I can usually handle it, unless they're full on like making out or smth, then obviously, I'm extremely uncomfy and averse, but if it's casual, then it's just whatever.

But, honestly, I don't know what my deal is with the fictional romance!! I've even forced myself to like some straight romance in the past, but it's always SO forced.

So, yeah, that's how I feel. Can anyone else relate, or is it just me??


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9 months ago

m a n i f e s t i n g

reblog for something lgbt to happen to you TODAY


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1 year ago

All Our Hidden Gifts by Caroline O'Donoghue! I had never heard of it when I picked it up from B&N, but I ended up loving it and reading the whole series! To this day, it's still one of my favs

As a person who is dying for book recommendations: What is a book you picked up randomly that you heard nothing about previously that blew you away?

I feel like we all have at least one hidden gem we stumbled upon.

Please reblog with your books in the tags :)


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matcha-milo - milolograce
milolograce

they/he, genderfluid nb, aroace, intersectional feminist, agnostic atheist | i like reading, matcha lattes, anime, Hellaverse stuff, marine life, and drawing, among other things

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