Hyacinth 🪻🫶

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Worms are so versitile symbolism-wise. They represent rot and decay, stagnating, nature and growth, they represent reading a lot and unconditional love, they even represent. Yuri

Odd Stone #2 by joctaviothomas on Flickr.

Charles Bukowski, "Hurry Slowly" // uquiz by VoteforDaffy // @ka3l // Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov // Soozey Lipsey, 'Your Show Must Go On'

I’m fine

I try to fight it, but some days it is really hard

Not a big fan of what melatonin has been doing to my dreams lately.

Vivisepulture - [6/23/23]

None of this is easy. I can’t stay, yet I can’t walk away. Walking away would crush me, as if I was being buried alive. The dirt upon me, heavy and slowing down my every attempt at escape. The more I struggle the more it piles.

I cough, more, and more, and more. The ground you walk on itself is in my lungs. I keep thinking, “I’m going to die,” but I don’t. I am suffocating but the same force killing me is keeping me alive, prolonging the anxiety and the hurt. And the coughing.

All I’ve inhaled is the dirt but what comes out is smoke. For what feels like an eternity I continue to go through the achingly long process of dying without death, and I come to the conclusion that maybe exhaling is always easier than inhaling.

The pain is stabbing and burning and aching. I feel my body giving up. I feel my brain giving up. I have given up. I’m tired of fighting. Does giving up help? No. Does the suffering stop? No. But now all I can do is lay here. I’m still here yet the world continues to spin without me. I am completely alone, no one knowing of my predicament. Life goes on without me.

Lotus pond

Zenkoji temple, Nagano, Japan