Hello! Would you mind doing an example of not using filter words in a first person point of view? While I know that you can just switch out the pronouns for I/me/my, I just want to see it in action and when you should (and shouldn't) use the filter words. Thank you!
Hi there! I would love to! I think I’ll start out with an example with filter words and then cut out the filter words to show you the difference.
For those of you who haven’t seen my post on Filter Words.
Now, for the example:
I felt a hand tap my shoulder as I realized I had made a huge mistake. I knew the consequences would be unsettling, but I had no other choice. I saw the light of my desk lamp bounce off of the officer’s badge before I had even turned around. It seemed like I always found my way into trouble.
It was the first thing off the top of my head, so it’s a bit rough sounding….
Now for without filter words (And a bit of revision):
A hand tapped my shoulder as it dawned on me: I had just made a huge mistake. The consequences would be unsettling if I didn’t get out of this mess, but I had no other choice. The light of my desk lamp bounced off of the officer’s badge. I always found my way into trouble.
By taking out filter words, you get right to the point.
I’d also like to add a few more notes that I didn’t have the chance to post previously.
I heard a noise in the hallway.
She felt embarrassed when she tripped.
I saw a light bouncing through the trees.
I tasted the sour tang of raspberries bursting on my tongue.
He smelled his teammate’s BO wafting through the locker room.
She remembered dancing at his wedding.
I think people should be kinder to one another.
Read your work to see how many of these filtering words you might be leaning on. Microsoft Word has a great Find and Highlight feature that I love to use when I’m editing. See how you can get rid of these filtering words and take your sentences to the next level by making stronger word choices. Take the above examples, and see how they can be reworked.
FILTERING EXAMPLE: I heard a noise in the hallway.
DESCRIBE THE SOUND: Heels tapped a staccato rhythm in the hallway.
FILTERING EXAMPLE: She felt embarrassed after she tripped.
DESCRIBE WHAT THE FEELING LOOKS LIKE: Her cheeks flushed and her shoulders hunched after she tripped.
FILTERING EXAMPLE: I saw a light bouncing through the trees.
DESCRIBE THE SIGHT: A light bounced through the trees.
FILTERING EXAMPLE: I tasted the sour tang of raspberries bursting on my tongue.
DESCRIBE THE TASTE: The sour tang of raspberries burst on my tongue.
FILTERING EXAMPLE: He smelled his teammate’s BO wafting through the locker room.
DESCRIBE THE SMELL: His teammate’s BO wafted through the locker room.
FILTERING EXAMPLE: She remembered dancing at his wedding.
DESCRIBE THE MEMORY: She had danced at his wedding.
FILTERING EXAMPLE: I think people should be kinder to one another.
DESCRIBE THE THOUGHT: People should be kinder to one another.
See what a difference it makes when you get rid of the filter? It’s simply not necessary to use them. By ditching them, you avoid “telling,” your voice is more active, and your pacing is helped along.
The above list is not comprehensive as there are many examples of filtering words. The idea is to be aware of the concept so that you can recognize instances of it happening in your work. Be aware of where you want to place the energy and power in your sentences. Let your observations flow through your characters with immediacy.
Ok, sorry for the lengthy answer, I know you just wanted an example…. sorry!
If you have any questions, feel free to ask at my ask box
From the makers of the no-effort character checklist, I bring to you… The no-effort complete character sheet for lazy writers like you and me™!
Because the extra effort I put in staying up until 3 am to do put this together can save us all a lot of effort filling out longer character sheets ^^
You’re supposed to print it out and fold it in half to make a little booklet but you can save ink and do it on your computer :P
Link to PDF on google drive (fixed typo)
Word Counter - Not only does it count the number of words you’ve written, it tells you which words are used most often and how many times they appear.
Tip Of My Tongue - Have you ever had a word on the tip of your tongue, but you just can’t figure out what it is? This site searches words by letters, length, definition, and more to alleviate that.
Readability Score - This calculates a multitude of text statistics, including character, syllable, word, and sentence count, characters and syllables per word, words per sentence, and average grade level.
Writer’s Block (Desktop Application) - This free application for your computer will block out everything on your computer until you meet a certain word count or spend a certain amount of time writing.
Cliche Finder - It does what the name says.
Write Rhymes - It’ll find rhymes for words as you write.
Verbix - This site conjugates verbs, because English is a weird language.
Graviax - This grammar checker is much more comprehensive than Microsoft Word, again, because English is a weird language.
Sorry for how short this is! I wanted to only include things I genuinely find useful. p>
this is almost certainly a post ive made before but when a character's grief is so strong it fully alters the form of the narrative itself... moby dick being so much longer than strictly necessary because ishmael's grief made him stall for time in the telling of the tragedy... harrow the ninth being in second person because harrow was so grief-stricken that she herself was not capable of making narrative sense of the events of the novel and so someone else had to do it.... do u know what i mean
articles and essays I keep coming back to:
“joy” by zadie smith (about, well, joy)
“roaming the greenwood” by colm tóibín (ostensibly a book review of the history of gay literature but actually just very incisive thoughts on…the history of gay literature)
“the murder of leo tolstoy” by elif batuman (about exactly what it says in the title)
“the love that dare not squeak its name” by david rakoff (about, i swear to god, stuart little)
a room of one’s own by virginia woolf (I mean, you know)
the entire lingua franca archive but in particular “bio hazard” by fred kaplan (about writing a biography of gore vidal) and “the stand” by daniel mendelsohn (about the role of a philosopher (martha nussbaum love of my life) in a colorado gay rights case in the 90s)
“the professor of parody” by martha nussbaum (about judith butler)
overgrown ruins are great and all but you know what really goes hard? overgrown ruins partially or entirely submerged underwater
Relationships that have real king/lionheart energy, that whole “I have sworn myself wholly to you, I am your sword arm, I am your dog” to someone else’s “you are the one person in this world I can rely on, and I am both bolstered and burdened by your absolute faith in me” vibe, but it’s in circumstances that are like. so low stakes. Manger of a movie theater/the one usher who doesn’t smoke weed at work.
Here’s our masterlist of 97 character motivations that you can use in your novel to spark an idea for a character arc!
Saving a family member from capture
Saving a sibling from disease
Saving a pet from danger
Saving the world from ruin
Saving a friend from heartbreak
Saving the town from financial ruin
Saving friends from dangerous deadly situations
Saving a love interest from dying
Saving themselves in a dangerous world
Saving a community from falling apart
Saving a child from a potentially dangerous circumstance
Saving a place or location from evil forces
Saving a ghost from limbo
Overcoming a phobia
Overcoming an addiction
Overcoming marital struggles
Moving on from loss
Finding a significant other
Finding a new family (not blood-related)
Finding true biological family
Finding out an old secret
Finding a way home
Reconnecting with long-lost friends
Getting out of a dark state of mind
Finding peace in life
Beating a disease
Beating an arch nemesis
Forming a peaceful community
Transforming a location
Bringing someone back to life
Winning a competition
Going on an adventure
Getting a dream job
Keeping a secret
Escaping a location of capture
Proving a moral point
Proving a political point
Winning a political campaign
Betray someone
Ruin someone’s life
Find a suspect or killer
Find the answer to a mystery
Discover ancient sites & secret histories
Perform a successful ritual
Summon the dead
Save a country from dictatorship
Become the most powerful in a community
Outshine a family member in business success
Prove someone wrong
Win prize money to help someone in need
Get revenge on someone who wronged them
Find the person who wronged them
Develop significant scientific progress
Gain respect from family
Get over an ex-lover
Move on from a painful death
Keep their community alive
Lead their community
Heal people in need
Preserve a species (animal, alien, plant…)
Discover new world
Get recognition for hard work
Become famous
Get rich to prove themselves to people who doubted them
Break a long tradition
Challenge the status quo of a community
Defeat a magical nemesis
Take over a location to rule
Find out truth behind old legends
Help someone get over their struggles
Prove their moral values
Prove their worth to an external party
Become a supernatural creature
Keep something from falling into the wrong hands
Protect the only person they care about
Start a revolution
Invent new technology
Invent a new weapon
Win a war
Fit in with a community
Atone for past sins
Give top-secret information to an enemy as revenge
Kill an ex-lovers current partner
Reinvent themselves
Raise a strong child
Make it to a location in a strict time period
Find faith
Find enlightenment
Find out more about the afterlife
Confess love to a friend
Solve a moral dilemma
Have a child of their own
Avoid being alone
Run away from past struggles
Reinvent themselves as a new person
Impress a colleague or boss
Avoid a fight or war breaking out
If you need a hand getting started on your novel, we have 3 coaches at The Plottery who can work with you intensively for 4 month to skill up your writing and help you finish your first draft.
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Here are all the blogs I've written sorted according to six categories.
Getting Published/Querying:
How To Get Published As A Minor—A Step-By-Step Guide
How To Get Out Of The Slush Pile And Make Your Agent Say Yes
How To Answer Some Common Literary Agent Questions
Editing:
Ten Dos And Don'ts Of Worldbuilding
How To Name Your Characters
How To Hook Your Readers With Your Chapter's Starting And Ending
How To Write And Create A Sub Plot
How To Immerse Your Readers With Indirect Characterisation
Genre-Based Advice:
How To Build A Realistic Magic System
How To Get Away With Murder...As An Author
How To Get Away With Murder Part Two: Writing Murder Mysteries
How To Build Tension And Make Your Readers Feel Scared
Character-Based Advice:
How To Write POC Characters Without Seeming Racist
How To Write An Antagonist
How To Create Realistic Book Characters
How To Write Mythical Creatures Without Sounding Redundant
How To Write A Compelling Character Arc
How To Create A Morally Grey Character
How To Write A Disabled Character: Ten Dos And Don'ts
How To Write A Plot Device Character
How To Develop A Memorable Antagonist
How To Write And Research Mental Illnesses
Scene-Based Advice:
How To Build Tension And Make Your Readers Feel Scared
Four Tips On How To Make Your Plot Twist Work
How To Set The Scene Without Info Dumping
How To Accurately Describe Pain In Writing
How To Create A Well-Written Fight Scene
Writing A Creepy Setting: Tips And Examples
The Ultimate Guide To Writing Persuasive Arguments
Forgining Epic Battles: Techniques For Writing Gripping War Scenes
Recommendations:
Websites And Writing Apps Every Author Needs in 2023
Seven Blogs You Need To Read As An Author
music for your moods part 2
a live band is playing in a bar, you haven’t slept for two days we aren’t strangers when we hold champagne chutes in our hands white bedsheets and spilled hair the lights casted on the ceiling are spinning just as we are the 10th person i’ve slashed my sword against theres a big tree in the middle of the room windows rolled down, sharp sting of the wind against my hands here comes… another one of them locked in with moving rides and flickering lights part 1
things that might inspire me or help with with my writing skills
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