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Demolition Derby - Blog Posts

7 years ago

Lightning McQueen: Moronic Feminist!

(At the Demolition Derby with Luigi, Guido, and Mack watch from the side in concern. They see Cruz stuck in the mud and Lightning nearby.)

Luigi: Oh shit! Lightning go get-a her out of the mud!

Lightning: I’m not doin’ it. That would be sexist

Luigi, Guido, and Mack: What!?

Lightning: This right here, this situation, this is the damsel in distress trope. And I am not about to contribute to it.

Mack: While I can agree that trope is horrible in this particular situation we need you to do this. She’s in danger.

Lightning: No. It'd be against my moral compass.

Luigi: Your fucking moral compass is a roulette wheel!

Cruz: (increasingly scared for her life) Lightning I know what you mean but this isn’t the time for that.

Lightning: I’m sorry Cruz I can’t do it.

Luigi: Look, she’s already in the situation. You just need to pull her out of it.

Mack: What if we pretend she’s just a crippled car.

Lightning: That’d be denying her sexual identity. Cruz, you do identify as female, right?

Cruz:(annoyed but getting worried over not being able to get out of the mud) Yeah and I understand. Sometimes in our culture things are ridiculous, but face it, situation is situation.

Lightning: I’m sorry. I can’t do it.

Guido: OOOOHHHHHH GOOODD!

Lightning: Think about it from my perspective! What do you see over there?

Luigi: YOUR TRAINER! AND SHE’S IN TROUBLE!

Lightning: Well I see a highly capable girl. Sure life’s beaten her down a little but that’s not gonna stop her. Nothing’s gonna stop her. She can become president of the world one day!

Luigi: NOT IF SHE’S SAWED IN HALF BY MISS FRITTER!

(20 minutes later Luigi, Guido, and Mack leave the two at the derby and back to the trailer)

Luigi: Okay, so we all agree. We’ll hide her body on the beach, if Lightning’s still alive we train somewhere else and never come back here again. We’ll-a tell Sterling we lost Cruz somehow. Good?

Guido: (Nods)

Mack: I like it!


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7 years ago

Lightning you are going to be a good friend whether you like it or not.

Spoilers! The start of the demolition derby has leaked! Here’s a clip


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8 years ago

WHY ARE YOU TWO AT A DEMOLITION DERBY?!?!

Sally: Hello?

Cruz: Hey what’s up?

Sally: I just called to check on you and Lightning. Is he there?

Cruz: Uh... he can’t come here right now.

Sally: Okay... well tell me when he can.

Cruz: Oh I can’t do that.

Sally: What do you mean you can’t?

Cruz: I mean can’t because he’s racing.

(Loud crashing noises are heard, Cruz cringes as she hopes Sally didn’t hear at all)

Sally: GO CHECK ON HIM!

Cruz: Okay you don’t have to shout at me!

(Cruz zooms to get a better view, horrified and praying that Lightning’s okay)

Cruz: He’s still racing.

(Metal is heard being smashed)

Sally: Where are you two right now?!

Cruz: We're at Derby!

Sally: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE "AT DERBY"?!

Cruz: I MEAN I'M AT DERBY!

SALLY: WHAT DERBY ARE YOU TWO IN?!

Cruz: WE'RE AT A DEMOLITION DERBY!

Sally: WHY ARE YOU TWO AT A DEMOLITION DERBY?!

Cruz: FUCK YOU!!


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