Flashback - Blog Posts

Oh no. The flashbacks are setting in.

Can ya'll guess which one's faceless?

Had my first PTSD flashback that I actually knew was a PTSD flashback. For the past like, 2 years, I've been having these random panic attacks where images of bad things that have happened to me pop into my head and feel so realistic.

Somehow I didn't realize it, but those are definitely actually PTSD flashbacks. And I didn't figure that out until last night, when I had the first big one I've had since I got diagnosed. Then it all clicked and I realized that like, half my panic attacks have actually been caused by PTSD flashbacks. So now I know I definitely filled out a few questions wrong on the questionnaire.

Where did I see this scene...?

What Attack?

Prepare for the Onslaught

Rrëmêmbêãrr zê ãttâck?

There it was again. What attack? It all flushed back into my mind in an instant. I was there again.

'...Survive' She yelled. I ran out back. Suddenly she started crying 'Leave me be, please. I don't want to die' 'Like I give a shit. It's all on the king's orders' Hahahahaha

That laughter. I knew it from somewhere. She started screaming. Louder and louder. You could feel her pain in those screams.

I turned around and ran. Ran to the forest. I didn't turn back anymore, I just ran. Ran for my life, hoping I never have to feel the pain I heard in those screams

Picture Burning House by Nemo-Li

Music Prepare for the Onslaugt by Epic Score

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

Here is chapter 6!

Chapter 7 comes out Tuesday!

Chapter 4 is a little early today since I couldn’t sleep.

Chapter 5 comes out friday!

CW: Flashbacks, ptsd mention, past trauma mention, Whumpee guilt

Whumpee sees their face in the bathroom mirror, the overgrown hair, bloodshot eyes, and the bruises that their entire body is covered with.

Just then, some flashbacks from the time they were being tortured come. They remember how the Whumper used to love running their hand through Whumpee's hair.

Suddenly, Whumpee is possessed by the urge to take an electric shaver and they run it over their hair.

They don't stop until all their soft, beautiful locks are lying in clumps next to their bare feet on the bathroom floor.

When Caretaker walks in and sees this, they take away the shaver from Whumpee, because they don't want Whumpee to hurt themselves by mistake.

Caretaker sets down the shaver and turns to Whumpee.

But Whumpee's eyes are cold and empty.

It makes Caretaker worry about them even more.

"What do you think you're doing!" Caretaker screams at the Whumpee.

Whumpee breaks down and drops to the floor, head in their hands.

In their eyes Caretaker can see the torture they are still mentally going through from their time in captivity.

"Why'd you do that, Whumpee?" they ask.

The Whumpee finally raises their head and looks Caretaker in the eye.

"I just ... I just felt like it."

"Then you should have asked me to do it for you!"

"I wanted it gone now! I JUST FUCKING WANTED IT GONE NOW! So leave me alone!"

Caretaker has never felt so helpless.

They crouch down on the floor and look in Whumpee's eyes.

Eyes that used to be vibrant but are lifeless now.

They place a hand on Whumpee's shoulder and speak in a gentle voice. "It's okay," they say to Whumpee, "I understand. Just please let me know first, next time you want to do that? Okay?"

When they hear this, Whumpee grabs Caretaker and pulls him in a tight embrace, on the wet floor of the bathroom and the Caretaker hugs them back.

"I'm sorry, Caretaker! I'm really sorry! I don't know what comes over me sometimes! I know you were only trying to help!"

So, Caretaker tries to calm Whumpee down. "Hey, just relax okay? You're with me now, Whumpee. You hear? Not Whumper! And you'll get used to it, just give it time. Let your body and your mind heal."

Once the Whumpee has calmed down enough, Caretaker helps them up and they take the electric shaver and use it to properly smooth out Whumpee's hair.

Caretaker then sets down the shaver and helps Whumpee take a shower.

Then, they bring fresh clothes to Whumpee and help put them on.

When the Whumpee is freshly showered and clean, Caretaker can see that they are feeling a little better.

So, Caretaker helps Whumpee to the bed.

They give Whumpee their meds and tuck them in.

"Just get some rest, okay?" They say to Whumpee.

Caretaker leans in and kisses Whumpee's forehead.

Whumpee finally closes their eyes and drifts off, finally feeling at peace.