He So Would - Blog Posts

L I S T E N

Tim 500% calls coffee "Anti-Murder Juice" and with every cup is another dodged attempt at everyone around him ending up in some type of harm. Depends on his mood.

If he's really pissed, broken sOmetHing.

If he's a controlled level of pissed, bruises. Don't get in his way.

If he's paranoid, probably some accidental bruise infliction.

If he's annoyed, he'll kill you emotionally.

Those cups of coffee saved lives.

Chim, struggling with a recipe: Eddie, can you Google how many ounces are in a cup? My hands are covered in flour.

Eddie: Sure, one sec. Buck!

Buck: Yeah?

Eddie: How many ounces are in a cup?

Buck: Eight.

Eddie: Thank you.

Chim: Now, what the hell was that?

Eddie: Six years, Chim. Haven't had to Google a thing.

Chim: Mmhm, why don't you ask Buck what the definition of codependency is next?

Dick Grayson has a bunch of liberal slogan shirts

Like

Protect trans kids

Gay rights are rights

Science is real

BLM

And he 1000% wears them 24/7 and will take off his jacket to flex em

To the point where his siblings decide that instead of coming out they’ll get him shirts the same way people reveal their pregnancies with a baby onesie that says “I love grandma”

Tim starts this on Christmas where he gives Dick a second gift box

“Listen I had no idea how to do this but I figured Dick would at least appreciate the drip” type vibe

And bc it’s Tim and he knows that Dick would 100% wear it and TIM would end up embarrassed. It’s not that gaudy

It’s like a very cute hoodie that has a lil pastel cartoon character with a tiny bi flag that says something cutesy like “I love my bi brother” or whatever

And Dick is A) very excited for more shirts he can wear around and piss people off without opening his mouth

B) confused bc he none of his brother are ou- TIMOTHy

Tim does like tiny awkward jazz hands and goes “I’m bi”

Steph has nowhere near enough shame and just gives him a shirt that says “this is my sister” with an arrow pointing left on the front and “this is my sisters girlfriend” with and arrow pointing right on the back

And Dick is annoyed bc Steph keeps standing on the sisters gf side and Cass is on the sisters side and yeah? Legally fine?? But Dick and Babs did not divorced coparent Steph and Damian for Dick to call her “my sisters girlfriend” (he still wears the shirt)

This goes on and on and on

Until someone makes a joke about dick being the Token straight sibling bc he’s so supportive and look he’s wearing a pronoun pin! And awww

And demisexual biromantic I didn’t come out bc I forgor Dick is there like… yes… that exactly 100% this is all to make my siblings more comfortable you are correct

funny business || hobie brown

part two

"No."

"Please."

"I said no, go away," he huffed, leaning up against the wall of the empty room in headquarters you dragged him into. If he didn't love you so much he would have knocked your lights out. In fact, he would not have let you drag him in the first place.

"Hobebe, please," you clasped your hands together and brought them under your chin, begging him and hoping that the use of the nickname would make him cave. But of course it didn't.

This exchange had been going on for ten minutes straight.

A crazy thought had popped itself into your head, and you decided to seek out your boyfriend to make that thought a reality. But he didn't exactly match your enthusiasm.

"Hobie, come on. It's just gonna be a second," you continued to beg, tugging at his sleeve and standing on your toes just so you can be slightly eye level with him.

"Just hang upside down real quick and I'll give you a quick kiss. That's it, please."

All he did was roll his eyes at your begging, he thought this was absolutely ridiculous.

"Why can't you just kiss me now love?" he moved away from the wall to lean down close to your face. Not only to stop you from almost jumping to meet his gaze, but because he knew how flustered you would get when he did.

"I kiss you like this all the time," you almost pouted, turning your gaze slightly away from him, not expecting his sudden movements towards you. This made his expression turn amused.

"I just want to try something new."

His smirk grew wider at your choice of words, and your chest began to feel a bit hot. You almost feared to ask...

"What?"

"Nothing," he simply hummed, raising his hand to run his knuckles against your cheek, and you felt the heat in your chest trail up to your neck.

"It's just that, this isn't the first time you said that."

And that was it, your face practically went up in flames at the reminder, making you turn away completely and hide your face in your hands.

"Hobie, stop," your whines came, slightly muffled now making him throw his head back in laughter.

The sound that came from him was deep and smooth, familiar even. That did not help your current state as you felt you were becoming more akin to a bonfire.

"Hey now," he softly whispered despite your current torment. He moved towards you once more, chuckling as he tried to pull your hands away from your face.

And you let him, absolutely melting in his touch despite your own temperature.

"Don't go hiding that pretty face of yours," he grinned as your eyes finally met him again. He gently took your chin between his fingers. He didn't want you turning away again, especially now when he had a little proposition for you.

"Tell you what," he said.

"If you can look at me for a minute straight while I do whatever I want, I'll hang upside down and you can kiss me all you want." He proposed, and it intrigued you. But the look on his face made you hesitate.

"You're not gonna do anything funny are you?" You quirked a brow, finding the courage to pull your chin from his hand as you finally began to compose yourself.

"That type of funny, nah," he shook his head.

"Unless you want it to be of course, I'm a gentleman above all else."

You look at him unimpressed.

"Hobart."

"Damn, so pissy," he tsked.

"But yes, nothing funny unless specifically asked for," he tilted his head towards you with a more genuine smile.

Fuck, he was cute.

"Fine," you agreed.

"Get ready to hang upside down, pretty boy."

"We'll see about that," he quirked an amused brow before taking your shoulders in his hands, completely taking you by surprise once more.

"One minute starts now."

Your breath hitched in your throat as you feel him backing you up against the wall. He did it gently, but it didn't stop you from tensing up in an effort to stand your ground.

Was this not funny business? You screamed in your head despite your thoughts beginning to get muddled as he leaned down towards you like earlier. Your heart was practically doing a number on your

"Why do you look so mad?" He cooed, hands trailing up to the sides of your face.

Now this was getting really funny. But you didn't say anything. Knowing that talking would only make things worse. You focused on looking him in the eyes with the best deadpan expression you could muster.

You were gonna do the upside down kiss with him, even if it killed you.

"Not answering me I see," he hummed, thumbs now rubbing small circles on your cheeks.

"You know, I don't understand why you want me to go upside down just for a kiss," he said simply, almost too simply for your liking.

Still, he went on. He moved his head a bit to the side, lips going near your ear till you could hear and feel his warm breath on you.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Quite unimaginative don't you think?" He whispered, voice seemingly going down an octave.

"I could think of a lot more fun things we could do upside down."

And that was it, the emotions you were hiding came out in a burst, and you practically yanked yourself from his hold to look away from him. You hid your head in your hands again, this time not only in embarrassment, but in defeat.

"You promised no funny business," you peaked your eyes out of your hands just to glare at him.

He was looking at you so smug with his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, but you didn't specify what funny business," he shrugged.

"All I did was talk to you like I normally do, not my fault you could handle it."

You huffed at his nonchalant attitude, bringing your hands down to clench them at your sides.

"This isn't over."

He laughed at the determined look on your face, thinking how fucking cute you were. So cute in fact that he leaned in to kiss you on the cheek.

"It never is."

hopefully he's less ooc :>> part two here

Studying distortions from a safe distance

T-REX ARRRRMSSSS

JASPERRR

T-rex arms, or as I call them, bunny arms! I used to position myself like this all the time when I was little😭 I didn’t know where to put my arms, it felt awkward to have them at my side

when your moral compass friend is dead