Lgbt Discourse - Blog Posts

YES!!!! So much this!!!

I want to add some of my thoughts because I can't just scroll passed this without adding my opinion to the pot (for better or worse, tho I do hope for the better but if for worse I would like to know inhow and how I can improve myself)

First off I agree 100% that there should be more representation of different nonbinary people and experiences!!!!! Yes it's nice to already be represented but I do plan on keep fighting for representation till everyone feels seen and represented! Having representation of other nonbinary people that aren't white, able bodied or skinny doesn't mean all the representation for us white, able bodied, skinny people disappears! We and people like us can and will still find a lot of representation and a variety of people to look up to and be inspired by. However some people do not have this option yet! People might not even realize they are part of our community because our representation is so limited to these categories (white, able-bodied, skinny, often also afab and androgynous presenting) that they might assume they can't be part of our community since they don't fit into these categories.

Let's have any and all kind of nonbinary be widely represented so that anyone who questions their gender can come to our community and find themselves and recognize themselves in someone.

Another thing I'd like to add that is only partially related is, that I want people to know that not judging or putting people into male and female categories is hard. We are trained from an early age by our society that these are two very big and important categories that we are told we should distinguish people with. This is harmful in all sort of ways but that ain't the point. I think we already know that.

Something you might not know or need another reassurance with is that it is okay if you sometimes slip up and put people in a male/female box. I'm nonbinary and try to daily challenge my own view on gender but even I might see someone in the streets and "assign" them a gender or try to figure out if they were born afab or amab. But by reminding myself that it doesn't matter and that it's not really important to me what a strangers gender is who I pass on the streets I slowly teach myself to unlearn this hurtful way I was taught by living in a western country.

What I'm trying to say is that it's okay to sometimes slip up, if you but in the effort of seeing how this taught in thing of gendering strangers is harmful, not only to nonbinary people but it can be especially harmful to our community.

So please the next time you judge a person take a step back and ask yourself if it is really relevant to your live in that moment to know what genitalia this person might have.

You shouldn’t be treating nb people like the secret sexy 3rd gender. Nb people don’t look like a mash of male and female, they’re not sexy androgynous twinks

So much pointless LGBT+ discourse could be avoided if people just stopped assuming they knew everything about the oppression OTHER identities face.

For example, if you’re nonbinary, you can absolutely talk about the struggles you’ve dealt with as a nonbinary person, and speak of the issues your community is dealing with. But if you’re not transfem, it’s not your place to comment on how transfem issues compare to your own.

And if you’re a trans woman, you should absolutely not be talking about how trans men “have it easier” or what transitioning is like for them, because you fundamentally don’t know! You’re not a trans man!

And it goes both ways- trans men shouldn’t speak on trans women’s issues! Binary trans people shouldn’t claim to know what it’s like to be nonbinary!

It even hearkens back to older varieties of discourse, like ace discourse. You saw non-ace people talking about what THEY thought being ace was like, because they believed that being LGBT+ themselves made them the arbiters of oppression.

Or hell, gay men claiming that lesbians had it sooo easy compared to what they went through! Like, man, how the hell would you know, you're not a lesbian!

Just. Stop! Stop talking about the assumed experiences of other people! Being one flavor of queer doesn’t mean you’re the expert on ALL queer oppression! LISTEN to other people, stop talking over them!

I think if people accepted this, 90% of stupid online identity discourse would vanish overnight.

Hello, here to remind people that this discourse is hurting nonbinary people as well, especially nonbinary transmascs.

Please include your nonbinary siblings in your advocacy, and don’t forget to uplift their voices as well. The assholes calling people “theyfabs” and denying the existence of transandrophobia aren’t just out to get trans men.

Half the posts I see are about "theyfab trender tme they/hes", they hate nonbinary people too.

Trans men are left out of the conversation far too often; please don't repeat the same mistake with a different group.

EVERYONE WE ARE SANDWICH!