Mysme - Blog Posts

Sweet nothings escaped his lips. They were uttered in a hurry, frenzied by how little time he had, but he had nothing to fear. You were grateful for time you got to spend with him, no matter how short it might have been. Ray was busy. He was always busy with work. But, he would make a point of ensuring that a part of his day would bring him back to you. It was no surprise that he had devoted himself to working ahead of himself to be in your room right before the hour struck twelve. He wanted to be there with you on a day that was blessed. It was blessed to him as it was a day that you were brought into the world to exist.

"Today I'm grateful you're alive. I feel like I'm the luckiest man in the world because I get to be the first person to greet you on a day that is all about you. I'm honored. My heart is beating out of my chest the longer I think about the things I want to say to you on a day like today. A day as special as today. I want to see you smile. I want you to have the best day of your life. I want to give you the best day of your life. If I can grant your every wish today, my life will be worth it. Our life together will be worth it."

Ray's gloved hands were pressed against your face. He was holding your head up just enough that you could take a better look at him, and better yet, not look away. His dazzling eyes were quite enough to captivate you from the start. If he knew that, you didn't have a clue. What you did know is that there was a yearning inside of you that was growing just as quickly as his head.

"I never was one for birthdays. I don't think I could celebrate mine. It never feels like a happy occasion, but that's why I want you to feel like one. I want this to be your occasion of bliss and joy. I want this day to be yours. Yours and nobody else's. Tell me all of your deepest desires. What do you want? It doesn't matter if there is work waiting for me on my desk when I return, I will make sure your day is perfect."

The more time you spent with him, the more you became ensnared in those mint pools. In ways, it was intoxicating. You wanted more and more of it. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that he felt the same. A part of you couldn't bring yourself to admit you'd wished that you could submerse yourself in that pool.

"My God/dess. Say what you want and I will bring it to you. All I want to see is you happy. The smallest smile on your face will be the best gift that I could receive on a day like today. You are the reason I can dream of salvation and the sky. You are a gift to the world, and I don't intend to let you feel forgotten by the world. You are my world. You are my sky. You're my... You're mine. You are mine and I will cherish the ground you walk on until the day I die. Today is just another reminder. A reminder that I will always be happy to celebrate at your altar.*

His praise was gentle, and somehow, his yearning was stronger. Normally, there was hesitance in his voice as his insecurities ate away at him, but today, there was none of that. There was only a look in his eyes that said that he would not be deterred.

Maybe today didn't mean that much to you. Maybe today wasn't a good day because birthdays were always a mixed bag. Maybe today was a good day because it was a day all about you. Ray couldn't say he knew about whatever was running through your mind, but he knew things about you that nobody else did, but that didn't mean he knew you as well as you knew yourself. Those were the things he wanted to know more than anything.

If he could know everything, it would be impossible for people to wrench him away from you.

If you were glued to the hip joint, nothing could tear you apart. That was what he was thinking. It didn't take rocket science to figure that out from the look in his eyes.

Frankly, there were no material possessions in the world you could think of. You knew if you named anything, he would find a way to make it happen. He was that kind of person. It didn't matter if you asked for a cake that was seventeen tiers. Ray was the kind of person who wanted to make sure you got exactly what you wanted.

There were no objects of your desire you wanted to have. The reality was that nothing interested you as a present. There were plenty of things you could've named. Between practical and personal enjoyment, there were a lot of things in the world that were nice. But, would they have meant anything? Would those things make you feel complete? Why would you want anything when you already had somebody in your life who was everything you could have ever wanted?

What more could you want?

"I want you, Ray," you whispered.

"I'm yours," he said. That euphoric looking his eyes made you feel complete. It didn't matter if it was twisted or if the world didn't understand a single word of it. "Happy birthday, my flower. If that is your wish, I will do my best to be a gift worth your time."

Omg everyone who suggested knew what they were doing. Your art never ceases to amaze me 💝

saeyoung in white cherry, please?????? he'd SLAY

Omw to the club actin like a slut 💅

Modelos de capas feitos para a doação no projeto “Game Otome Project”. Um projeto com intuito de aumentar o número de estórias de otomes games ou como é conhecido jogos otomes no site Social Spirit, onde nessas capas foram representados pelos jogos “mystic messenger” e “diabolik lovers”.

Se inspire! Não copie! Créditos aos Fanartistas ~

Link do projeto: https://www.spiritfanfiction.com/perfil/gameotomepjct

Capa para a fanfic “Âmbar” escrito por LittleRedRose para o fandom de Mystic Messenger.

Se inspire! Não copie! Créditos aos Fanartistas ~

Link da fanfic: https://www.spiritfanfiction.com/historia/ambar-17865763

guys what if for a roleplay instead of normal roleplay it was done like a chatsim like mystic messenger? Like instead of being in an actual place together the characters just text each other and thats how the story goes, with only a few irl stuff to show anything extra? I feel like that'd be fun too do.

*sighs* Vanderwood 🥰

Here you go a vandi lmao i was suppose to draw them a while back b ut m otivationnn 

⋆★DO NOT REMOVE MY CAPTION, DO NOT REPOST AND EDIT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION★⋆

Never stop making eyes the main focus this is so well done

"stop making eyes the main focu—" no

finally got some free time and of course immediately had to draw saeran

song inspired yIPPEEE

“If I can’t be happy, neither can you.”

I was thinking about someone who said yoosung and rika mirror each other.

So you must have seen that chat where he talked about how he was depressed lacked motivation for anything until rika came to his life and gave him the motivation

But outwardly even if he was depressed and stuff according to rika, he appeared like a "bright" person.

Rika says "when I first met him I could picture spring with forsythias in full bloom. He had a face of a child who grew up basking in parents love which is nothing like mine....I could feel nervousness stirring inside me when I faced yoosung who gladly listened to me and followed me around, the boy is too bright to shiny he might be ruined if he gets too close to me."

And of course from the get go until we actually find out the truth behind mint eye and rika it is pretty much established that rika is also a very "bright and energetic person" to everyone when in reality she saw herself as a broken person with a demon inside her.

But there is a difference, yoosung is someone who keeps on moving forward towards the light and does not really turns himself away from it. If somebody gives him love he readily accepts it and not once pushes anyone away or doubts it

Meanwhile Rika sort of had a push and pull dynamic with "the light" she desired to be loved and accepted as well but also pushed people away from her whom she deemed as the "light" by any means even if it meant to hurt the person because she didnt want to give up the "darkness" inside her (idk if im able to word all this well but I hope it gets the point across)

That's an interesting observation!

#GetYoosungTherapy2020

#GetYoosungTherapy2020

#GetYoosungTherapy2020

#GetYoosungTherapy2020

#GetYoosungTherapy2020

Also Yoosung was already struggling before the Rika Incident. It just kinda shoved him over the edge.

🖤 ✨ 🖤 ✨ Rika ✨ 🖤 ✨ 🖤

Let's start with Rika...

⚠️possible spoilers ahead, be warned⚠️

I can't believe I actually didn't realize that. I mean, I did it. Like 7 years ago, but I had no clue on how to explain it.

Besides it needs from Mystic Messenger Timeline *which I'm still working on, and trying to finish* to actually make sense.

Disclaimer: Please take into account that whatever I say here, it's only my opinion after playing the game so many years. I'm not a psychiatrist or a psychologist, or therapist of any kind. I'm just a writer, who loves to spend time analysing characters and stories.

I did asked to my mom to help me with this and the other characters because of how difficult the task ahead of me was. My mom, who is an actual therapist, did her best to help me, but I did most of the analysis here, since I'm the one who knows the in's and outs of this game. Besides, I did my research and I'll make sure to quote it! So give it a chance and keep reading even if you disagree with me. And then, I'd love to read your thoughts on the topic 💕

Narcissus. Also known as daffodil.

Should I talk to you about the dark side of the flowers and tie it to MM characters?? Anyways, Rika is a narcissistic. But also has a profound trauma. One doesn't exclude the other. Here's a quote from Mayo Clinic:

«Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism.»

Causes: The cause is likely complex. Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to:

Environment — parent-child relationships with either too much adoration or too much criticism that don't match the child's actual experiences and achievements.

There are other two, that are genetic, and neurobiology causes, but I'll be focusing more on the environment, which let's be honest, it's what is displayed on the game. If you're interested on reading more about it, there's a link before the quote and, on References, I'll also be leaving every single link.

So let's go back to Rika and please read the next three images while remembering how's her relationship with V, and Saeran. Sometimes even with MC, and Mika.

As you can see...

Attention:

* Creates the RFA. Receives attention.

* Creates Mint Eye. Receives attention.

* Says V is her Sun.

* As soon as she gets tired, says V's killing her and wants to leave

* Wants to mix RFA and Mint Eye. I assume is because despite everything, she feels like she's losing attention on everything she created. And MC is the reason of that too.

They don't choose losers:

V is a millionaire

Jumin is a millionaire

Zen is super sexy and hot

Jaehee and the twins are really smart

Do I need to keep going? Even Elizabeth the 3rd is one of the most beautiful cats ever seen.

Grooming:

Here's the part that keeps bothering me because I realized about it before I could actually explain what it was going on. Seven years ago I decided to play the game, and I finished feeling a bit too weird on how everyone was so infatuated with Rika... it wasn't any other person that just dies and then the group dies too. It was still active two years after losing her (?) Even though they have only know each other for... 4 to 6 years?

Some even less. Like Jaehee. Which randomly brings me to: She's an ENFJ so she does focus on details like Jaehee (Jaehee might be ISFJ, ISTJ or even ESFJ considering how well she manages around people too. But that's another story.) Her enneagram is probably 1.

I can understand Yoosung, but... you know what I mean. It was weird. And once I reached the first VN novel about V and Rika I felt even more weirded out by these two.

I don't think I can pinpoint it but I felt like Rika was manipulating V so I was surprised when I realized some members were tying these two as lovers and a beautiful couple. Do you guys remember V being surprised by Rika quoting "The Sun is the mother of all"?? Yeah... Even back then, for me it was a highlight of how messed up their relationship was. But again, I couldn't exactly pinpoint it. Until, now.

After Cheritz released Another Story, and Rika DLC, many of my theories came true. But still in a disorganized way. Which is why I created The Mystic Messenger Timeline.

I did confirmed one thing:

Rika is a narcissist and V is a people pleaser (that doesn't make him any less villainous of what he is, but I'll explain once we'll reach his profile. I promise.) at least at the very beginning of this story.

She probably has psychopatic tendencies

She definitely has sadistic and abusive tendencies: I have a hard time putting through her whole behavior during Saeran's Route and especially during his AE. But she takes pleasure in hurting others. V, Saeran, MC, Mint Eye associates, etc.

A bit of One on the Enneagram:

It is called The Reformer.

Because Ones have a “sense of mission” that leads them to want to improve the world in various ways, using whatever degree of influence they have. They strive to overcome adversity—particularly moral adversity—so that the human spirit can shine through and make a difference. They strive after “higher values,” even at the cost of great personal sacrifice.

If you think I'm too far off, then please check the levels of healthy and unhealthy Ones can have. They sure ring a bit too much for me on Rika's behavior. From Level 1 to 9, we can see her evolution during the game. But here you have a couple of her worse traits.

Unhealthy Levels

Level 7: Can be highly dogmatic, self-righteous, intolerant, and inflexible. Begin dealing in absolutes: they alone know "The Truth." Everyone else is wrong: very severe in judgments, while rationalizing own actions.

Level 8: Become obsessive about imperfection and the wrongdoing of others, although they may fall into contradictory actions, hypocritically doing the opposite of what they preach.

Level 9: Become condemnatory toward others, punitive and cruel to rid themselves of wrongdoers. Severe depressions, nervous breakdowns, and suicide attempts are likely. Generally corresponds to the Obsessive-Compulsive and Depressive personality disorders

If you want to know more about this, check this.

So, why do you (player) like Rika as character?

Because it's okay, I know people who actually like Rika. I don't, but I definitely don't hate her either...

You don't need to be worried about it as long as you know what she did was wrong. That's it. Now, why do you like her/identify with her?

Things that might, or not, ring a bell:

* Trauma: Rika has a traumatic past. And you might feel like it's a mirror of your past. Hence identifying with it might not be something difficult. Of course this doesn't mean you are leader of some religious cult.

* Her willingness to fight despite having everything at odds. Let's not forget that before she goes nuts and starts brainwashing people, she did a lot of great deeds. Tried to stay positive and all that.

* Her kindness (we can discuss over certain things, but as much as she did terrible things, she also did amazing things, like creating the RFA to help people. Wether she did it with a certain master plan in mind or not, she did helped as much as she hurt and that's the important part.)

* She's just a great villain! It might be hard to understand for some people but you actually just look at her character as what it is, a character, and you're impressed by how many discussions and hot debates she brings onto the table. Understandable!

* Her flower means forgiveness♡

Do you have any other ideas for why you might like Rika? I'd be happy to read them. 💕

Also, this might be one of my last post about her. Might not be the last but I do need to finish with the Mystic Messenger Timeline, and I will but I don't think I have a lot more material to write about. So thank you for sticking with me all this time! I'm linking the main post on MysMe theories I have, I still need to finish tying up all nicely. But we're coming to the end. I'm definitely talking about trauma, coping mechanisms, parenthood, childhood and societal pressures but it'll be in other posts, possibly not even linking them to this one. Who knows? Stay tuned~!

References:

Mayo Clinic - Narcissistic Disorder Personality

Between Narcissistic & People pleaser

Medium - Beware a narcissist with a hero complex

Paired Life - Hero & Narcissist

Enneagram Institute - One

(i will devour you)

“Trauma, Obsession, Conflict and Reunion” 🌙☀️

Hey! I'd love to hear your opinion on two things of the Halloween Mystic Messenger screen

First of all what do you think of Rika in the Dirndl (germans traditional women clothing) I think she looks quite snazzy, the colors are unusual on her but she looks gorgeous either way

Second of all, do you think Rika is Hänsel, Gretel, or the witch cause I am not sure. Like for the role she plays in the game, the witch would make a lot of sense, but she only gets out of her house after the children started eating her house, so I doubt it. And I forgot who was the one wanting to eat the house first of the siblings so I don't know 😭 I tried gaining understanding by looking at MC's clothes. But I have no idea what she is wearing, so I am at a loss and would love to hear your take on it!

Sending lots of love, dear <33

Hi! Thank you so much for such a in-depth ask, it was a ton of fun to sit and muse with my thoughts and ideas on Rika's birthday CG we got.

So, first of all, I gotta agree with you there: that's definitely a form of dirndl she's wearing! The designs look awfully similar for it to be a mere coincidence to me. These dresses can come in so different designs so it's a very versatile type of clothing to work with. Here are some examples of what I mean:

And here's Rika's dress up close for comparison:

Personally, I adore dirndls and their rustic yet elegant look. Never knew the specific term for such a dress, but now I do! It's not a sophisticated dress per se, but the simple beauty it brings out makes me super happy. If you think about it, it does fit Rika quite well. While she certainly loves to dress up every once in a while, her day-to-day style is quite modest in its nature. She's not wearing any dark colors in this cg, but it's not the pure white dress we saw on her two years ago either. To be honest, this color palette of green and blue on her makes me smile. It's not black or white, there's no darkness or light. At least, not in a way that would get your attention right away. She's not trying to embody the darkness or the light here. Instead, it's such a peaceful and soothing combination of colors, and I think it fits her very well. I also really like the yellow apron she's wearing! Is it, possibly, a callback to the dress we see on her in the game and the past she's trying to forget, only for it to remain by her side in one shape or another? Who knows, but it's a fun theory. Though, it should be noted that her outfit is still done in a cold color palette. It's certainly a way more colourful look on her than we're used to seeing, but in spite of all that, there's a certain type of deep melancholy surrounding her, even with a gentle smile brightening up her features.

Okay, now that we're done with her dress, let's talk symbolism! I'm gonna put up the whole CG now:

I'll be completely honest and say that it's been a while since I've read Hänsel and Gretel, so I had to quickly reread it to get a good feel of the story. It's very easy to assume that Rika's the witch leading MC away with the alluring promise of endless sweetness, only to trap them the moment they let their guard down. After all, the castle of Magenta sure does fit the sweet and inviting exterior of the witch's candy house pretty well. At first, it seems like a dream come true to the hungry and tired children, up until the very moment they finally get inside and see the ugliness hidden within these candy walls. That's what I thought of at first too! But, after rereading this story for your ask, I actually got another idea all together.

See, in the story, Gretel was wearing an apron. Not sure if she was wearing it from the very beginning, or after they finally freed themselves from the witch's clutches, but it's definitely there! And what do we see Rika wearing? That's right! An apron. Furthermore, I decided to look into the way Gretel is portrayed visually. To my surprise, she's often seen dressed in a classic dirndl. Which is actually not that surprising, since this story was published in 19th century in Germany, but hey, I didn't know that before :D Gretel was also the one leading Hänsel to the candy house, if I'm remembering it correctly.

So yes! Everything actually points to Rika being Gretel instead of a witch. Which means that MC is definitely Hänsel. This opens up a whole other possibility from a narrative standpoint. I wonder who the witch is then, though... But, I must admit, I REALLY like the idea of Rika initially helping the witch, albeit reluctantly and through her own tears, only to eventually find enough courage inside herself to break free and trick her, saving MC with her own hands. It's a nice parallel, considering that Hänsel (MC) was initially the one leaving pebbles and breadcrumbs to make sure that they'll return back home safe and sound. MC was also the one caring for Rika and promising her that everything will turn out okay.

Though, Rika still very much could be the witch, and I'm just looking way too deeply into this '^^ But, I must admit, I like the idea of her being Gretel much better. I want her to be happy!

Perhaps, Mika is the witch here. She's the one that first planted the idea for Mint Eye in Rika's head and she's the one telling her what to do for a short while. Mika playing the role of a witch that lured Rika and MC into her candy house only to force Rika to do her bidding does kinda fit the story. Maybe she locked MC up, because they were trying to warn Rika not to listen to her. I always loved the idea of MC knowing Rika before the start of the game, and how that would change up the narrative all together. I'd say that the father they return to in the end of the story is V, since he was the one genuinely caring for the kids, however his kind heart still did not stop him from unknowingly leading them to their doom. It does fit him quite well, I think. He's a good man doing his best and failing in the process, like we all do sometimes. Though, I have no idea who should be the evil mother... She's the one that quite literally abandoned Hänsel and Gretel in the middle of a forest, so... I don't know. I could go for a literal route and choose Rika's mother, but it's still feels kinda iffy and on the nose for it to make sense.

So I'm replaying Ray's After ending rn, and it got me thinking that what I adore so much about Rika as an antagonist is just how damn scary she can be. I always found those who cause harm with good intentions (at least in their point of view) much scarier than those who hurt you with pure intention on hurting you. I think the best example of it is this CG in particular:

Look at that. Such a loving, gentle expression on her face. Probably kissing his forehead. Because she loves him. Heck, without any context, this CG looks even sweet, if you think about it. And yet, all that is while Saeyoung is forcefully sedated on a powerful concoction of drugs even a trained agent like him can't do anything about (and Saeyoung WAS definitely trained to deal with this sort of thing, hence it's mentioned that this is a 'special' kind of drugs). He looks miserable. Bags under his eyes, his expression pained and troubled, even his hair is paler than usual. All that as a direct result of her actions. But she's utterly blind to it. What's scarier, is that she knowingly shuts off her understanding of what's really happening. She's not oblivious to it at all. She just chooses not to see it that way. Simply because she doesn't want to.

Rika is the type of antagonist that will cup your cheek into her warm hand with the most loving of smiles on her face, all while you are getting elixir poured down your throat. Even whispering to you that you're doing great, that the pain will soon pass, and that she can't wait to see you reach the happiness she knows you deserve. I won't be surprised if she even cried genuine tears of compassion during some ceremonies for her believers. All while being the sole reason behind their suffering.

And that's... God, that's terrifying to me. I love that about her.

Rika Kim, they could never make me hate you

the choi twins don't need V's "saving"

he is ALMOST just as responsible for the choi twin's awful fate as rika🤷🏻im tired of him being coddled like he did nothing wrong or him being characterized as this noble savior of saeran and saeyoung when he absolutely is not lol

its also telling that in the good endings of the twins' routes v is either dead or in jail. either way, out of their lives . which is how it should be . i do believe v is a good person but his decisions regarding the twins are astronomically stupid and it makes me viscerally mad because. it could have been so easily avoided . saeyoung and saeran wouldn't be separated if it weren't for rika AND him

i DO want him to have sweet moments with them and i enjoy seeing them get along but because he's so self-sacrificing and apologetic it doesn't give the twins room to actually be mad cuz "poor v". it feels like "oh they should be grateful that he is changing" when they don't have to be at peace with jihyun at all . the way he hurt saeyoung is especially overlooked which makes me even more upset

and keep in mind i still do feel bad for him, i don't blame him for the stuff rika specifically did and it's important to acknowledge that he is a victim of domestic abuse. my criticisms of him are not of that regard, i am annoyed at his relationship with the twins outside of rika, his own independent actions that happen to be, again, very stupid

My impression of V's route

Seven and 8 (lol) for the headcannons 😂😘

you damn weeaboos-

It feels WEIRD to write NSFW, I always censore it as much as possible and it’s just WEIRD to do this it comes out as if it was some random shit and not NSFW T_T … Or like some goddamn poetry when no one knows what’s it about.

Sex headcanon - for Seven

Intimacy is something that comforts him.

There still are times when his depression strikes, and at some point he won’t just, push you away, he will try to run away instead as if being around other people was a sin to him.

And yet your touch makes him stay every time, he cannot ignore it, he’s unable to take a step away from you the very moment he feels your skin on his.

It’s sometimes scary how much he needs you, how much the fear of you being sad or feeling abandoned makes him want to run into your arms and never leave your side.

But at these moments, the only thing he can think about is to be with you, to let you caress his wounds.

He trusts you more than he trusts himsef. He trusts that you won’t hurt him as many people in his life did, that he can completely relax and let you take a lead, for once in his life.

The way your lips whisper comforting words is as if you were casting a spell upon him. Every inch of his body anticipates the moment when you two become one.

He can’t help but feel addicted to it. 

Because even if only a while, you help him forget about cruelty of the world.

Headcanon meme

Oh a fellow Rika lover! Any thoughts on her as a whole? Everyone views her differently and she's certainly a very complex character with lots of layers to her (another reason why she's one of my faves!). Maybe how would you interpret her own happy ending?

Hello, fellow Rika lover!!

I'll put my thoughts under a "read more", partially because I fear this will get lengthy and partially because I know Rika is a sensitive subject for many people!

Also putting a TW for SA and general abuse!

Honestly, I find Rika to be an extremely relatable character, at least from my perspective. She's a good (albeit exaggerated) example of what can happen if people who need help are abandoned.

A rough background is never justification for crime, but it can help explain it. This is a girl whose earliest memories are in an orphanage, who only had one person she could rely on. When she was stripped away from Mika, she at least thought she would have a happy, loving family.

Instead she lived a life where abuse came at her from all angles. Emotional and psychological abuse by her mother, physical and sexual abuse from the priest. She was treated like she was worthless--no, worse. She was treated like she was evil, a scourge upon the earth, devilspawn that would plague everything she touched.

She didn't want to be evil. She genuinely wanted to be a good girl and just have someone love her and be proud of her. But she turned to that "devil" that everyone made her out to be as a defense mechanism. If it kept her safe... how could it be a devil?

She genuinely strove to be a good person. She took in Sally, a stray, because she saw her own loneliness and neglect in that dog. She did originally want to use charity to help others. She went to a different church from the one she grew up attending, so that she could have a fresh life where nobody would judge her from the second she arrived, and she could actually help out.

The problem is that she still was missing that love. By the time she met V, she was... 18, if I recall correctly? 18 years of being unloved. By then she figured she had to be someone else, put on a mask in order to be liked, let alone loved.

And V was her sun. V, who could capture beauty and warmth in photos that Rika could have only dreamed of. She saw light and love and passion in his work. Truly, Rika at her core is a romantic, because V was genuinely surprised to hear her explanations and theories of his photos. He was the one who said, "Huh. It wasn't that deep for me, but part of the charm of art is that it means something different to everyone who sees it. I'd love to hear more about your beautiful, romantic visions of my pieces."

She saw his sunlight and wanted it for herself. But just having the sun in her arms wasn't enough. When V started calling Rika his sun, too... she wanted to become the sun. Because she saw the sun as a mother who gave a warm embrace to all of her children on earth. Rika had never known that warmth, and she needed it. Physically, mentally, emotionally.

Of course, we all saw how everything spiraled when Mika was dying, when Sally died, when Rika turned into a black hole that began to suck up the sun. V didn't--and couldn't--give her what she needed, and she snapped.

Candidly, I don't think that's too unrealistic. Growing up in an environment of abuse, and reaching out desperately to be loved but everything keeps falling apart around you. She went into survival mode, and that meant relying on her "devil." The darkness inside her protected her, and she couldn't give up on it entirely when it had saved her time and again. She didn't want to give into dark desires, but she felt that she had to. She genuinely wanted to be the sun.

And I think that's something people miss in Another Story. In casual & deep, she's too far gone. But Another Story, she still has a tiny fragment of hope of being able to love and be loved. That's why she's so desperate to form her "happy family", and why she goes off the wall when Ray disobeys her. She doesn't know how a mother is supposed to love. She never had that love. It's not good, it's not excusable, and it's not pretty.

But it's all she knew.

Rika is someone who had more masks than she had names (and she had three of those). She never was able to just exist as herself, always trying to fit a mold someone made for her (i.e. her mother), or to become someone else who lived a life she wanted (i.e. V). She lost herself along the way.

I think she genuinely loved the RFA, and to a certain extent did believe she could "save" them. She advertised Mint Eye as a haven for other outcasts, as a place where those who'd been scorned by the rest of the world could find solace and love. She had to become their sun, their Savior.

But Rika never had anybody to save her.

Now, common critiques are that she should've gone to therapy longer. And let me tell you, if you have a bad therapist? You don't want to go back. There is nothing more emotionally taxing than pouring out your heart and fears and insecurities and troubles to a stranger. Sometimes you get lucky, and you get someone who's patient and understanding and willing to work with you.

Sometimes you get a horrible person who invalidates your feelings, talks over you, and flat-out tells you, "You're too unstable for me to handle. Go get on medication then come back to me." (Speaking from experience, here.)

And that hurts! Having someone spit on the very essence of your soul! Picking yourself back up to find another therapist and pray things go better is... it's one of the toughest things a person can do. I can't blame Rika if she had a terrible therapist.

Plenty of people like to blame V, and let's be honest, he has his faults too. He couldn't give Rika the love she needed because he was so focused on fixing her. No, seriously, he went, "I can fix her. I can help her." But he's someone else whose intentions were pure. He saw how his father abandoned his mother, and he never wanted to do that. He saw a woman in need, and he thought of his mother. He had to help her. His conscience told him to, and he didn't want another ghost on his hands. He's self-sacrificing to a fault, and he's also insanely stubborn. He decided he'd follow her to hell and back to save her. It wasn't love, it was obsession, and he didn't realize that until it was too late. It was a moral fixation.

They both needed help. They weren't right for each other. But they clung to each other and fed off each other, and that's why V has a tragic end in every route but his own. Rika doesn't even get that.

So, I don't condone Rika's actions. But I can say that it's easy to see how someone with pure intentions and a will to do good... can lose themselves in a world that is so vile and full of malice, hate, despair, and suffering. I see Rika, and I see my own struggles to stay afloat in a world that wants me dead, as a queer Jewish AFAB person living in Florida. I see my own struggles with narcissistic parents and how I'm constantly second-guessing my thoughts and feelings. But I digress.

Anyway, a happy ending for Rika? Cottagecore lesbian. I'm not even kidding. Gosh, she's so lesbian-coded. Don't get me started. Nope, I'm starting, but I'll keep it brief.

Basically, oppressive Catholic upbringing telling her she's a devil who's going to hell no matter what and she has to take the abuse if she wants to be saved. She clings to the first person who shows remotely any interest in her well-being and thinks it's love. Rika is a lesbian who had to suppress her feelings or else damn herself further, and she clung to a man in a serious case of compulsory heterosexuality because he was kind to her and she was not accustomed to that. Look at the V bad ending where she seduces MC. She has way more chemistry with MC than she ever did with V. That's a comphet lesbian with gender envy of her ex, your honor.

Let her live in a cottage in the woods, far from the hustle & bustle of the city. Let her live alone with a woman where they bake pies and cross-stitch and read and just exist peacefully. Get her another puppy. She needs peace, fresh air, and grass.

Screenshots to show that I'm not just pulling my Rika analysis out of thin air, lol.

She's extremely insecure and has horrible fear of abandonment. But she was failed at so many levels: the orphanage, the church, V, therapy.

I want nothing more than to see Rika be happy.

devil

(tw for self-harm. this is extremely self-indulgent. read at your own risk.)

Devil.

Her core, her soul, the very depth of her being, was a creature that had no right to see the light.

Usually, she could fight it. Usually, she could resist it. Usually, she could deny it.

But nighttime was when her demons were strongest, and she couldn’t always resist their allure. It was so easy to give into those voices, those whispers at the back of her mind that assured her that these actions were necessary for her survival. The devil inside of her had kept her alive for this long, so why would it ever try to deceive her now?

Nevertheless, as Rika looked down at the blood welling on her soft, thin, porcelain skin, she slowly came to realize that for once, her devil might have grown a little too strong.

A sharp wail escaped her lips, and the offender dropped from her hand to the floor with a clatter. She immediately clamped her free hand over her mouth, trying to muffle her cries. She couldn’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t accept this. She could brush it off. She could pretend it never happened.

She hadn’t ever imagined that her devil would take a tangible form, but it had left a kiss on her wrist that she couldn’t ignore.

“Rika?”

A voice sounded from outside the bathroom door, followed by a sharp knock. The sound managed to strike Rika’s core, piercing even through her foggy mind and her shaky body. Hastily, the blonde ran her hands underneath the sink, eager to wash away the evidence. Rinse, rinse… Maybe a splash of soap, to ensure she was effectively clean. She needed to scrub away the darkness that she tried so desperately to keep hidden.

But as she pumped the soap onto her tender skin, the stinging that resulted made her whimper despite herself.

“Rika?” the voice called again, a little more frantically this time. “It’s me, V. Are you okay?”

Rika began to scramble through the drawers and cabinets, knowing that somewhere, somehow, the couple must have had a first aid kit in here. V was cautious—almost overly so—and every time that Rika complained she felt ill, whether it was a physical or emotional pain, her lover always seemed to be able to withdraw some sort of medicine to soothe her, some sort of bandage to patch her up.

She usually refused, not wanting to mess with her mind or body in the slightest, but for once, she was willing to accept the fact that she needed assistance. Normally, she wanted to keep that devil alive and well, strong enough to defend her from whatever the world may throw at her.

This time, though, that savior inside her had betrayed her, and she needed to bring it back within her power.

“Rika!”

“I-I-I… I need…” She tried to sputter out some words, some sort of answer to V to let him know that she was alive and well.

Was she really well, though?

“… a m-m-moment,” she stammered at last. She thought the sentence came from her, anyway; that voice sounded like it belonged to her, but in her dazed mind and through her ringing ears, pounding with the vibrations of her intense heartbeat, it felt so far away, as though it were coming from somewhere else.

V didn’t respond to that; he fell silent, finally, and all that Rika could hear was a soft exhale. He must have been relieved that she had answered, as distorted and shaky as it was, and so he was willing to give her the space she needed until she was ready once again. He was always so considerate of her, always trying to appease her darkness and bathe her in a glowing light.

Normally, her devil resented that light, that glow, that searing heat… but Rika, for once, was grateful to know the sun was right outside her door, ready to banish away the demons that had overpowered her.

A little bit of pressure was all it took to stop the bleeding, and finally Rika allowed herself to crack the door open. She waved at him with her dominant hand, keeping the other one tucked behind her back. “I… I saw a bug.” Some woman’s voice was trying to excuse the shrieking that had taken place, and deep down, Rika knew that this feeble fib would never convince him. She wanted to be hopeful, though. She didn’t want anyone—not even V—to know the extent of her struggles.

But as V’s minty gaze flickered to her hidden hand, to the razor on the floor, and finally to the swelling around the young woman’s eyes, he looked as though he’d managed to piece together exactly what had taken place in here.

“It’s okay.”

How could two simple words break her down?

Rika at once leaned forward and buried her face in his chest, sniffling and sobbing. Her tears were soaking into his shirt, but he didn’t seem to mind. The young man just ran a hand through her soft curls and pulled her in at the waist, massaging little circles into the small of her back. “You don’t have to be strong for me, Rika.”

With a whimper, she lifted her head and gazed up at him with tearful emerald eyes. “I… She… I…” Who should she blame? Was this the doing of Rika, or of… something else entirely?

No, this was Rika. This was a part of her that she tried so desperately to keep hidden. The part of her that V had tried to kill, time and time again, by trying to force her to expose it and unravel it.

But right now, Rika was willing to throw herself into his arms, if only to hear the words she so desperately needed to hear.

“I love you, Rika. Nothing you do will ever change that.”

Could she trust his words?

At this moment, did she have a choice?

“Let me see.”

Immediately Rika leaped back, cowering away from him, clutching her wound in her good hand and turning away so that he couldn’t get even a glimpse. “It’s fine…” she murmured, but as she removed her hand from her wrist and saw the little specks of blood that splattered her fingertips, she couldn’t fight back the sob that followed.

“Antibacterial cream and bandages,” V suggested softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “We have some in here.”

The blue-haired young man withdrew a small tube of ointment and a box of bandages from one of the drawers, and Rika cursed herself silently for not being able to find them sooner. Begrudgingly, she held her arm out to him, and upon seeing the subtle raise of his eyebrows and the softening of his gaze, she felt tears begin to brim along the corners of her eyes again.

“V, you need to promise me something,” she whispered as he began to rub the ointment into her skin. The pressure against her wound made her flinch, but she bit her lip and tried to keep herself steady. “You won’t tell anyone, especially not the RFA. Not even Jumin.”

Concern and doubt flickered across his eyes, but V nodded slowly. “You don’t want them to see you like this,” he guessed.

“I’m their sun, V.”

“Sometimes there’s a solar eclipse, Rika.”

Their silence coated the air for a moment as V gently stuck the bandage onto her wrist, careful to ensure he could cover the entirety of her injury. It was small, but significant. It was dainty, but deep.

Rika couldn’t fight back the gasp that slowly seeped out of her lungs as her lover gently applied his lips to the surface of the bandage. “You are my sun,” he whispered as he pulled back, and he gently took her hand in both of his. “Nothing you do will make me stop seeking your light.”

Light… even like this? Was there any light in her at all?

“I don’t understand you,” she grumbled. “I don’t understand how you could love a devil like me.”

“I’m not asking you to understand,” he told her simply. “I’m asking you to trust me.”

With a nod of her head and a dull ache in her chest,

Rika leaned into V’s warm, comforting embrace.

With the power of love, and after a quick rest,

Maybe, her demons she would be able to face.

I'm the queen of can't read social cues (thanks, autism), but during Seven's route, especially the first time, I sensed he needed space. I was worried about him, and hurt by his actions, but I knew I couldn't just force him to acknowledge me, and that this wasn't truly him- I don't know how, but something told me he was scared and needed time to decompress, similar to how I do. In his case, he needed space to decompress not from people, but from the sudden knowledge of what really happened to Saeran and that the few people he let himself trust had in fact lied to him. They encouraged him, a literal child, to essentially leave his only brother in their hands so he could stain his own soul black with the agency. Why not just threaten to call the cops on his mother and take both twins into their care, and deal with Saejoong once the boys were out of that house?

He just received a gut punch that he failed his brother, and was basically in survival mode. When he finally lets you back in, it's after he's had a chance to process some of his trauma.

100%. All of this.

Now, I will also note that Saeyoung is extremely autism-coded. Deep Story truly is "pick your flavor of autism." So I think some neurodivergent folks will have a better understanding of what's going on with his behavior, because they may relate to processing & experiencing their emotions in a similar way or other nontraditional way that makes them go "Ah. That's what's happening here."

Obviously, neurodiversity is broad and covers many types of conditions, but those who are on the ASD spectrum or ADHD in particular will probably have an easier time dissecting these tough and seemingly contradictory days of Seven's route.

Floriography or Flower Language ❤

Sooo basically, after i played Ray’s route, im getting interested with the flowers. I mean yeah, im interested with all the flowers meanings. Sincee our BAERAN love the flowerss soo much, i decided to search every flower that reminds me of Ray’s route and its meaning.

Thanks to Saeran, i realised how beautiful all the flowers are right now💕

Hi Kait! So about Saeyoung being parentified, can you share more about that?

Saeyoung Choi was parentified at a young age by his mother and this action left a deep impact on him that plagues him to this day. It does not matter what Route you're playing, Saeyoung reacts to his brother in the way a parent should. His dynamic with Saeran is founded by a bond of brothership, it's more like Saeyoung is the parent and Saeran is a child. It's that way by design, and you can thank Mother Choi for starting this unfortunate cycle.

So, to start off, I should explain what it means to be parentified, huh? Parentification is a form of physical and psychological abuse where a child is forced to take on the role of a parent for their fellow siblings in the house, or even their parents.

There are many kinds of this type of abuse, but two key types are notable in Saeyoung's arc.

Emotional Parentification is when you, the child, take on the role of a confidante or mediator. The child feels responsible for the emotional state of the people around them.

You're handed adult emotions and subject matter well before your pain can process what you're going through, and your mind reacts to this by trying to mend the distress. This can look like comforting your parent after they reveal something deeply distressing, like the details of a divorce, or financial issues to you. This can also look like trying to take care of younger family members when they're upset, leading the older child in this situation to comfort and control the situation in the way the adult should.

Instrumental Parentification is the act of giving a child tasks that are too large for them. That looks like a parent telling you to do grocery shopping, pay bills, cook meals for the family, or take care of a sick sibling, for example.

This is the act of giving a child responsibility in the household that they are not ready for. The adults in the situation expect the child to be capable of understanding adult concepts without failure, and the weight of that stress is more than a child's brain can comprehend. It shouldn't be on a child's shoulders to find food for the family or pay the bills, but that's what happens in this type of abuse.

So, now that I've given a definition of this abuse, let's go ahead and talk about Saeyoung's parentification. I don't think a lot of people in this world want to talk about the effects of parentification because a lot of people have suffered this abuse and don't even know it.

Most people see it as a child "stepping up" in a time of need, but that's not something we should condone as a society.

Saeyoung's first foray into the grown-up world was handed to him when his Mother decided she didn't want to leave the house to get her alcohol. She told him to go and fetch her for her, among other a number of other tasks, like grocery shopping and picking up some medication if needed. He has no choice but to obey her whims if he wants to eat and take care of Saeran, too.

This is how Mother Choi talks about him when he's not there. He was useful because she got double the money for the twins, and because he was strong enough to leave the house, run to escape the threat of anyone looking to kill him, and get the alcohol and food she wanted for herself.

Saeyoung knew everything was going to go to his mother first before he or Saeran got to eat or drink.

Because I don't know if you guys are aware of this or not, but Ray reveals to the player in V's Route that their mother used to only give them white bread and rice to eat. The boys were given scraps and if they got lucky... something hardier because Saeyoung managed to smuggle it.

To the point where he has a strong aversion to the taste of bread now. He doesn't want to eat it. It reminds him of being trapped in that house. He'd eat it if he had to, in the same way, Saeyoung and Saeran can eat anything because if you're hungry enough, trust me, you'll try to do anything to not starve.

I know a lot of people haven't played Rika's Behind DLC, but years into running errands and taking care of tasks for his mother, Rika sees mistrust and fear on his face. She doesn't get it at first, but considering the fact that she also suffers from abuse, it starts to make sense to her the longer she interacts with him. She saw her trauma in Saeyoung... similar to how she starts to see her pain in Saeran, too.

Rika's intentions were compassionate at first as a person who saw her tortured self in these boys.

Do you know what it would feel like for a child like Saeyoung to spend years running errands for his family on a minimal budget that mostly gets spent on alcohol, not only fearing that the money he had wasn't going to be enough but knowing his biological father was around the corner waiting to kill him?

Saeyoung lived in fear every day of his life but he wasn't allowed to be afraid. He had to be a big boy for Saeran and survive the scary places he was sent to otherwise his brother would be alone. Saeyoung knew he had to survive so Saeran wouldn't be alone. That place was bad as it was when it was the two of them, but if they were alone...?

If it was just Saeran alone or Saeyoung alone?

Well, we know how Saeran later describes it in the secret ending. It took V and Rika a few weeks to get everything together for Saeran, but in that time, Mother Choi spent hours denying Saeran food and water because she couldn't find Saeyoung. Saeyoung was right to be afraid of those things, but the problem is that he shouldn't have had to have lived that way.

He was a child just like Saeran.

Saeyoung would never acknowledge that fact, though. But, he was a child forced into the role of an adult. There hasn't been a moment in his life where he wasn't playing the grown-up... unless we counted a couple of years where he couldn't walk or talk.

There's a reason why he wouldn't admit he suffered this, though. He doesn't want to ever admit he was hurt because he thinks Saeran's trauma is valid in comparison to his. Sure, he got hurt, but he's the "responsible twin". He is the "grown-up". He is the "big brother". I'm sure Saeyoung's MCs are aware of that because that's why he's so damn resistant to being vulnerable with you!

It's because of this trauma!

I'm not going to dump every example into this post, but I will point out these screenshots in particular to make my point. This is how a child who is aware of financial instability acts.

The next thing Saeyoung became aware of was how important money was. He spent all his time trying to run these errands for Mother Choi, and even if he didn't know how to count on his fingers and toes, he had to learn fast.

If he's only given so much money, he has to debate what to pay for and what he can and can't get. "Mother told me to get the "x kind of alcohol and that costs y, but we need more of this food for us to be able to eat, but the food costs z. What do I do?" He learns faster than anyone that if he wants to get out of that house, they need to get a lot of money, fast. They can't touch whatever Saejoong sends them.

She'd notice Saeyoung taking that money. Mother Choi might not be all there in her later years as alcoholism rots her brain, but if there is one thing she knows, it's that her brand costs XYZ and she better be able to afford that since Saejoong sends the "ZYX" amount.

Money is a serious problem for many families. I can tell you from firsthand experience that being exposed to the money insecurity around me at a young age made me paranoid about the concept of money. Why do you guys think Saeyoung buys those cars? He has those cars because they're easy to get rid of for quick cash if you're desperate. He loves being a mechanic, but it's not just about those cars.

It's about the money.

Every dime he makes from the agency isn't something he considers to be safe. That's why he keeps extra items in his bunker to get rid of if he needs to make quick cash. The game itself doesn't go into detail about how many different bank accounts Saeyoung has or where he stores his money, but it's worth noting that Saeyoung has as much in his pocket as Jumin does, if not more. He just doesn't spend it due to the fear he has.

What if Saeran needs that money?

It's not "What if I need that money?"

It's "What if Rika or V asks me for money to help him and I can make that happen?" and it's "What if the agency explodes someday and I'm free to live with Saeran? I want Saeran to have everything... all of it. I need to be able to have a limitless amount of money so he's never without."

So, he's determined to find another way to make money to help his brother escape. Have you guys ever noticed Saeyoung's language in the game when he talks about escaping? It's never about him. There isn't a moment where he considers his wants or needs. That's due to the fact that he's been trying to care for Saeran first and foremost. It is his job, not only because his mother told him to do it, but because he feels like it's his destiny to protect Saeran as the big brother.

That brings me to what Saeyoung understood as his job from the minute he could understand abstract thought and walk.

The fact that Saeyoung believes it's his job to take care of Saeran's emotional regulation. Every choice he's ever made in his life was to protect Saeran from becoming aware of how much danger existed around them. Every time Saeran cried, Saeyoung took it personally, and he jumped into action to help Saeran calm down.

He spent those days trying to distract Saeran, tell him stories, or he would create games to keep his mind off the ropes on his ankles and the storm in the other room. Of course, Saeyoung was a child just as his brother was, and he wasn't the best at "being the parent".

There were moments when Saeyoung couldn't help himself, and he would cry or scream at Saeran without meaning to. Saeyoung would feel a great deal of shame after it and mask his emotions even deeper to survive as Saeran's caretaker. In fact, I had a bitter chuckle when I glanced through the Secret Ending to grab examples of this fact and a nurse outright called Saeyoung "Saeran's caretaker".

I can clip hundreds of examples where Saeyoung focuses on Saeran's emotional state before his own. This is an example I explained. Where Saeran mentions a time when he tried to argue with Saeyoung about how he felt and Saeyoung screamed at him. Saeyoung wants to make a better world for Saeran so Saeran can be a child... and he just can't accept that Saeran is aware of how dire things are.

He's been trying for years to keep Saeran in a state of naivety for his protection. Saeran was never naive, though. He knew better, but he saw how hard Saeyoung was trying... he didn't want to get yelled at for telling Saeyoung what he really felt.

Saeran wanted to be just like Saeyoung because Saeyoung was the "strong one". He saw his twin brother being "grown-up". Why wouldn't Saeran start to view Saeyoung as more of a parent? You don't have to call someone your parent to view them as a parent, and that is very much the case for the younger siblings who count on their siblings for that bond.

Saeyoung has a horrible habit of saying: "If I am strong, then you are strong. You're me and I'm you." It was the only thing he could think of to help Saeran when they were kids. It's poetic and thoughtful, but it isn't helpful for Saeran's emotional regulation. It placed the weight of his strength on Saeyoung and Saeyoung alone. Saeran didn't want to do that, but Saeyoung kept doing that over and over again.

Saeyoung was a child who tried his best with what he was given, but again, he was a child who had to throw glue at the wall until he made himself believe something stuck. A major problem with Saeyoung at his core is that he can't see Saeran as anything but a helpless child... he infantilizes Saeran quite often. The last time he saw Saeran, that situation was different.

He was playing the role of Saeran's parent and Saeran depended on him for everything. He has a very hard time stepping outside of that role. Saeyoung plays the role of a caretaker as best he can, but that's a problem. Saeran isn't a child and neither is Saeyoung anymore. He's got to do what's right for Saeran, but Saeyoung continues to think he knows best no matter what because he's Saeran's caretaker.

He can't shut that mentality off. It's going to take a lot of therapy for Saeyoung to confront this fact, but in the Secret Ending, there isn't any moment of time he can spare for that. He's still busy living in the worst nightmare of his life. He won't let himself focus on recovering from the gunshot wound, nor will he work on physical therapy when he needs to. He neglects his needs because he's afraid for Saeran at every turn.

In some regard, we, the players, understand why that is. We know the truth that others don't. If Saejoong finds out about them, they will be killed for it. There is only so much Jumin can do to protect them, and he's already doing more than any average person would.

Saeyoung is aware that the hospital wants to sedate Saeran for the violence he's displayed to doctors and nurses. But, he knows that his brother doesn't want to be drugged again. He is in a crisis of morality for days. What's the right thing to do? He knows Saeran needs to be in the hospital but he can't let that continue.

He feels that he knows better for his brother at the moment.

He knows Saeran will stay in a hospital room to get the help he needs.

But, how long before someone finds out? Even Jumin points out that the risk of his father finding out about Saeran is high. Saeyoung has to make a painful choice. Remove Saeran from the hospital knowing that it's not good for Saeran's mental health or keep him trapped in a psych ward knowing it might get him killed. He did what he thought was right.

It's a difficult question.

But, Saeyoung didn't think twice. He knew he had to make a hard decision to save Saeran's life. He didn't discuss anything with anyone else. He just acted. He acted with the knowledge that he is the only one who understands what Saeran needs. He is the only one who is capable of protecting Saeran. He can't trust anyone else ever again.

He will be the adult, the grown-up, the parent, and the big brother. I have to point at this exchange as a good example of Saeyoung being the one who feels like he has to regulate Saeran's emotions. Look at how he speaks to Saeran, begs with him, pleads with him, and tries to play the parent who doesn't know how bad it was but wants to do something to make it right.

"I was awed there was something in this world I had to protect. I'm blessed to have someone that I need to protect. Thank you, Saeran... for being there so that I can protect you. You existing beside me gives me one more reason to live."

That is the language of a man who has no life purpose but to be a parent to his twin brother his entire life. He says outright that his job was to make sure that Saeran could stay alive no matter what. He is the last person who should be trying to break through to Saeran in this situation about what it means to want to live or die, but he feels that there is no other choice.

What is Saeyoung's purpose if not to be Saeran's parental figure? His caretaker? Even as he starts to heal and learn how to live with his MC in a world that he wants to live in forever... he is going to be grappling with that question.

This doesn't change at the End of Secret Ending when Saeran and Saeyoung have their "breakthrough."

Saeran still looks to Saeyoung for an answer and Saeyoung wants to give one. In fact, the reason why Saeran decides that it's not worth it to kill himself isn't just due to the fact that he realized that Saeyoung would do anything for his happiness, even die.

It's also because he realized that Saeyoung will not let him die. He doesn't want Saeran to die and he won't Saeran do it. That doesn't stop Saeran's suicidal thoughts. He simply becomes apathetic after this. He knows he can't die no matter what he does, what's the point in trying again? He doesn't have a sudden revelation. He just learns that Saeyoung won't quit trying to save his life.

Saeyoung: "Let's go back to how we were. We've survived so much. Our happiness now can shine brighter because of that."

Saeran: "I hated that about you. I hated how you were positive about the future, and yet, I admired it at the same time too. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt this time if only because that's the only choice I have right now."

Saeyoung, my dearest, you can't go back. This sets up how I view the way Saeyoung will treat Saeran going forward until he gets into some therapy and acknowledges what he went through. This doesn't make Saeyoung a bad person, but it does show the player how Saeyoung's unable to stop seeing himself as a child who had to be a grown-up to survive. He needs to accept that Saeran is a grown-up and that he's a grown-up, too.

Saeran should be allowed to do what he wants, and outside of doing the right thing by removing sharp objects and more things like that outside of that bunker, as well as offering emotional support when it is asked for, Saeyoung should learn who his brother is today instead of thinking of him as the baby who clung to him when they were both stuck in that nightmare home.

Just as Saeran should give Saeyoung a chance to show who he is as an adult, too, when he's ready. He doesn't need to see Saeyoung as a savior or a caretaker, and he doesn't want to, but they need time, the both of them, to get out of that place. I think with time, therapy, and the help of MC will do wonders for this.

I know I didn't get into where this would play out in Another Story, but it's the same sentiment. But, in that situation, Saeyoung has no choice but to be forced into seeing Saeran's autonomy as an adult. It's far different than what we're shown in Saeyoung's Route. I know the game doesn't cover this either, but I have to add something else to this.

You know V's murder is something that Saeyoung is going to take the blame for. Saeran is never going to be blamed in Saeyoung's eyes and I don't see that changing even as they get better. He will say it's a sin he committed since he was the one who put Saeran in that position, to begin with.

It's painful to think about but it's the truth.

Saeyoung will gloss over Saeran's actions because he is his brother. That's going to cause issues later on as Saeran takes ownership of his actions. He won't be able to talk about those things with his brother... because Saeyoung will excuse him. "It's my fault. Blame me. I failed you as a big brother. Your actions were mine. They weren't yours. I'm the filthy sinner. I am Luciel. I am Lucifer. I take your sins and cleanse you of them."

Saeyoung became a monster and he feels like Saeran shouldn't be called one when he already took the burden as Saeran's other half. That's a part of what he can't admit to himself. That he feels like a parent who must take care of everything that happened to Saeran as if it were his sin instead.

I feel like this is a part of Saeyoung Choi that a lot of people can relate to, but it's the pain of knowing that he hasn't realized how deep this trauma runs in him.

That Anon made me go back and glance at Saeyoung’s After Ending since I don’t really go there that much. Most of the time, i just head into the Secret Ending to replay that content, but I had to do a double-take because I forgot about this detail. Apparently, his dream Toy Shop is unbelievable to look at… This isn’t located near his bunker, but it might as well be according to Jumin. What the hell does this Toy Shop look like, Saeyoung?

I don’t even think I could draw a model of this! Hey, Saeyoung MCs, do you have an idea what this man would create this building to look like?

Hellooooo, I made a NSFW drawing of this man, you can see it uncensored on Twitter (X)

Remember that I have my requests open :)

Reblogs and comments are appreciated

Just to remind you that I draw for other fandoms.

My requests are open

Reblogs and comments are appreciated

Do you know this (canon) ADHD character?

Proof: As shown in the screenshots in this post, there is a call with Seven where he says he talks to himself a lot, and the MC has the option to respond "I heard people with adhd talk to themselves a lot..." If you choose this option, he says "Yeah!" and proceeds to describe more ADHD symptoms he has (distractability and fidgeting, and arguably hyperfocus.)

It's my birthday so I'm giving more stuff too: I love Seven as canon undiagnosed ADHD. He even self-medicates with caffeine. I resonate with him so much. I'm certain that at least one person on the writing team has ADHD, he's just so spot on. Please play Mystic Messenger

erm. what the flip. cant even explain why im playing this game again in the year of 2023 but.. yea.. i still love this dude

“I want a 707 constellation up in the sky!” - 707

This has definitely been done before, but I just got back into painting so here’s this!