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Sdv Wizard - Blog Posts
The fact that people wanted to marry this depressed man more than a LITERAL WIZARD!!! is just insane to me
I mean, I'm not complaining!! I love my little malewife <3
I don't like how the birthdays from stardew valley are set up in the real world. Like most of December is in the fall according to the solstice but Sebastian's birthday is winter 10 and we've decided it's December 10th.
Nah, let's give all the characters accurate birthdays in accordance with the seasons.
I'll set it up 2 ways:
1. Taking the earliest dates of each solstice and equinox that defines the seasons and dividing that by 28 (number of days in a stardew valley season) then multiplied that number by the NPC's bday (I'll explain the math later)
2. Taking the average amount of days in-between each IRL season and dividing that by 28
Earliest dates are as follows:
Spring March 19
Summer June 20
Autumn September 21
Winter December 20
The length of each season in this method is
91 days for spring
93 days for summer
90 days for fall
90 days for winter
The average days in between is 91.5 days.
Dividing by 28 we get
3.25 Spring
3.32142857 Summer
3.2142857 Autumn / Winter
3.267857142857143 Average
These numbers are the difference between our real world dates and stardew valley dates
Our season are about 90 days long, their's are 28 days so
1 day for stardew players is about 3 days for us.
Now that we have these numbers let's find out how each day correlates to each villager.
It will be in order of earliest birthday to latest and will follow this format
NPC-Season-ingame Bday-Bday(method 1)-Bday(method 2)
Kent- Spring 4- Apr 1
Lewis- Spring 7- Apr 10
Vincent- Spring 10- Apr 20
Haley- Spring 14- May 3
Pam- Spring 18- May 16
Shane- Spring 20- May 23
Pierre- Spring 26- Jun 11
Emily- Spring 27- Jun 14- Jun 15
Jas- Summer 4- Jul 3
Gus- Summer 8- Jul 16
Maru- Summer 10- Jul 23- Jul 22
Alex- Summer 13- Aug 2- Aug 1
Sam- Summer 17- Aug 15- Aug 14
Demetrius- Summer 19- Aug 22- Aug 21
Dwarf- Summer 22- Sep 1-Aug 30
Willy- Summer 24- Sep 7- Sep 6
Leo- Summer 26- Sep 14- Sep 12
Penny- Autumn 2- Sep 27
Elliott- Autumn 5- Oct 7
Jodi- Autumn 11- Oct 26
Abigail- Autumn 13- Nov 1- Nov 2
Sandy- Autumn 15- Nov 8- Nov 9
Marnie- Autumn 18- Nov 17- Nov 18
Robin- Autumn 21- Nov 27- Nov 28
George- Autumn 24- Dec 7- Dec 8
Krobus- Winter 1- Dec 23
Linus- Winter 3- Dec 29
Caroline- Winter 7- Jan 11
Sebastian- Winter 10- Jan 21
Harvey- Winter 14- Feb 2- Feb 3
Wizard- Winter 17- Feb 12- Feb 13
Evelyn- Winter 20- Feb 22- Feb 23
Leah- Winter 23- Mar 3- Mar 5
Clint- Winter 26- Mar 13- Mar 14
If there is only one date on the NPC that means both dates are the same
I'd like to thank @cloverbug83 for helping with the math.
TL:DR The dates in stardew valley are incorrect and I updated them according to IRL seasons.
Summary: After stumbling upon a mysterious stone on Ginger Island, Rosemary unwittingly activates a portal to an unfamiliar realm, Terraria. Pulled into a bizarre and perilous world, she must navigate its dangers while searching for a way back home. All while acquiring an unusual collection of souvenirs, including a rather explosive pet. Meanwhile, her sudden disappearance throws her loved ones into chaos, sparking a frantic search across the world to bring her back.
A/N: This story was inspired by a tumblr post from @studentinpursuitofclouds about the Farmer opening a portal to Terraria for the Meowmere and ending up stranded. I couldnβt resist turning it into a full story! I love the idea of Rosemary getting isekaiβd into Terraria, unfazed, while everyone in Stardew Valley panics. Expect adventure, chaos, and dramatic reactions when she returns. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it!
The story is a bit long, so you can read it on my AO3! Thatβs right, I finally have an AO3 account after what feels like a thousand years!
πππ ππππ-π³ππππ π²ππππππππππ
Farmer: *leaning on their hoe, sighing deeply* Damn, Iβm so useless.
Abigail: *bursts through a wall like the Kool-Aid Man* WHO SAID THAT?!
Sebastian: *appears from the shadows* YOU WANNA TRY THAT LINE AGAIN?!
Sam: *backflips off his skateboard* OH HELL NO!
Shane: *launches a beer can across the farm* THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!
Harvey: *running in, stethoscope flying* EXCUSE ME, THAT IS A MEDICAL LIE!
Elliott: *dramatic gasp flipping his hair* HOW DARE YOU INSULT YOURSELF IN SUCH A WAY?!
Haley: *lowers her sunglasses* Thatβs literally the dumbest thing Iβve ever heard.
Leah: *grabbing their hands gently* You are natureβs masterpiece, donβt you ever forget it.
Alex: *flexing aggressively* YOUβRE STRONG AS HELL, DONβT MAKE ME GIVE YOU A PEP TALK!
Penny: *clutching a book* You are worthy of love and respect, Farmer!
Maru: *holding a literal blueprint for an invention called "Farmer Confidence Booster 3000"* I BETTER START BUILDING THIS!
Emily: *already mid-dance to cleanse the negativity* BEGONE, NEGATIVE ENERGY! I CLEANSE THIS FARM WITH THE POWER OF YOBA!
Krobus: *somehow appearing from the sewers* I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND HUMAN EMOTIONS BUT I KNOW THAT'S WRONG.
Pierre: *stepping out of his shop* Yes, even I thinkβ!
Caroline: *dragging him back inside* PIERRE, READ THE ROOM.
Wizard: *literally appears in a cloud of smoke* THAT IS A DANGEROUS FALSEHOOD, FARMER.
Linus: *nodding wisely from the mountains* You are part of natureβs balance. Never forget that.
Other Marriage Candidates: *crash through windows, doors, appears through a portal or possibly even from underground* SAY THAT AGAIN, WE DARE YOU!
Farmer: *overwhelmed, hands up* Okay! I take it back! Damn, that worked a little too wellβ¦
Gus: *sliding a drink over* Yeah, donβt do that again. We almost lost half the Saloon to a riot.
Hiiii Mousey! (βΏ^βΏ^) How are you right now? Hope you're doing well there.
Anywho, I had this idea while on a car ride, listening to some band songs. I had to write it down right away before I forgot it. I don't know if anyone has ever sent this to you before, but What if the farmer used to be a popular and famous singer, but because of the stress from fame and the number of stalkers they encountered, they decided to resign/quit and move to the valley to start anew, hoping no one would recognize them. However, one day, the farmer accidentally blurts out their secret to their NPC spouse and this made the farmer very worried. Now, here's the thought: How would the SDV&SVE Bachelors/Bachelorettes react to finding out that their farmer spouse was once a famous, popular singer? π€πΈ
Hey hey π I'm fine, a bit busy due to work (December is always a pretty busy month for me) but so doing pretty well, thanks for asking β€οΈ
Ooooh, your idea as an alternative start for Farmer arriving in the Stardew Valley, love it! Thanks for the ask, and have a good day!
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SDV/SVE bachelors/ettes with Farmer as a former famous singer
SDV/SVE bachelors:
Even with the changed clothing style and new hair colour, Sam recognised Farmer as a famous singer almost instantly before Farmer blabbed about their past career. You bet, because Sammy is not only a music lover, but also a big fan of this musical group! He will shower Farmer with questions and autograph requests, but the joyful guitarist immediately restrains himself, remembering that a reaction like his is one of the reasons why the singer left the band. Sam apologises to Farmer and gives them some space. He in no way wanted to make his own lover uncomfortable.
"Wow... That's so cool." Sebastian is also pleasantly surprised about the fact that Farmer who came to Stardew Valley is the same singer from his favourite alternative rock band who left due to many cases of stalking. However, emo's own reaction is very calm, with adoration and admiration in his eyes, but no obsession. He knows that his beloved Farmer is a human being just like him and respects their feelings. Seeing that Farmer didn't want to talk about their past, Sebastian swears to them that he won't tell anyone about it.
Elliott stared at Farmer in surprise, eagerly waiting for an answer. Now the writer realised why he'd always thought he'd seen/heard Farmer somewhere before! Truthfully, instead of continued delight, Elliott was silenced by the look of weariness and sadness on his partner's face. He heard about Farmer as singer, but was completely unaware of the reason for their departure from show business. He would make a hundred apologies, assuring them that if Farmer didn't want to tell them, he would respect their wishes. Of course, Elliott's curiosity will torture him a little, but for him, his spouse's happiness comes first.
"Okay." No, Farmer was certainly glad that their husband Shane didn't jump madly around them like their fans in Zuzu City, but they'd expected, well, a more reaction than that. "You want me to try to rip the hair out of your head like those 'fans'?" Fair enough. Shane himself isn't much of a music lover, but Jas loved listening to Farmer on TV, and she was the one upset to tell Shane that her favourite singer had been bullied many times and they'd left. He's glad Farmer was able to escape that madness and there's no way his attitude towards them is going to change.
Alex nearly dropped his ice cream cone in surprise. "I always do the training to your songs! They give me so much motivation!" Farmer explained to their enthusiastic husband that although their songs were motivational and upbeat, Farmer themself wrote everything under constant stress due to pressure from managers and fear due to obsessive fans. Alex had no idea how bad it was and hugged Farmer tightly, covering them with kisses. The athlete himself will keep Farmer's anonymity (though he will sometimes squeak with delight inside, because wow, his spouse is so cool!).
Harvey had noticed Farmer's very familiar first and last name long ago when he entered their patient data into medical database, but had taken it simply as a coincidence. Even as spouses he didn't know the truth when he didn't mention this funny coincidence, to which Farmer had casually said they were than singer, not the namesake. The doctor's reaction was calm, and he assured Farmer that he understood why they hadn't told him the truth, and promised that their secret would not be revealed.
"I know, dear..." Farmer thought Victor would be shocked, as they knew their hubby is fan of their songs, but in the end it was Farmer who stood there with a surprised look. The spaghetti lover with his hunches found out information on the internet that helped him connect the dots, but he didn't want to confront his spouse on the subject, fearing that Farmer would mistake Victor for the same awful people who called themselves "true fans." Both spouses would have a long talk, sharing the truth. Victor made his own promise that he wouldn't tell anyone about Farmer's past career.
"Do you remember that when we first met, I told you I'd seen a part of your past?" And after those words, Farmer realised that Magnus had known about their singing career from the beginning. Why didn't he ask? It was none of his business to pry into their past, and if his lover wanted to tell they would. The wizard can't even imagine just living in an urban setting, so with a bunch of people following you around and interfering with your life. He also feels sorry that they associate Farmer's singing with bad emotions, because they have such a beautiful voice and are obviously happy when they are singing a song in the forest.
It seems Lance had heard of Farmer as a singer a few years ago when he arrived in Zuzu City as an ambassador from his clan. Many people were jumping in excitement about Farmer's new song, but the gallant adventurer genuinely understands why they left. Sometimes people can go overboard in their obsession with their idols. Of course, he will keep their secret, and if any of the fans show up on the doorstep of their farmhouse, Lance has promised his spouse to protect them and teleport the unwanted guests (first just away, and then - into a pile of manure if they get pushy).
SDV/SVE bachelorettes:
"You mean... Wait, really?" Honestly, Maru hadn't expected this turn of events. The young inventor had heard Farmer's songs spinning on the radio, even though she wasn't a strong fan of their music genre ("Sorry hon"). After Farmer decided there was nothing to hide and shared about their career and the reason for their retirement, Maru was horrified. So the scar on Farmer's arm was put there... by fans?! That's terrible. Maru consoled her spouse as best she could and promised to keep their secret.
Farmer realised what they'd said out loud and lightning-fast covered their already excited Abigail's mouth with their hand, who had said more than once that she was a big fan of this particular singer (Farmer, as it turned out). Before the purple-haired girl could do anything about it, her spouse dragged her away from one spot and explained why they were leaving. "Oh shit... Those people are just bastards." And she herself had almost blabbed to the whole town know about... "You okay, love?" Farmer is much better since they have found happiness and family in Stardew Valley.
Penny is completely shocked to discover that her spouse is the one and only nationally famous singer. Farmer and their new look was completely unrecognisable. But not even just a new image, but they're much happier. The young teacher has heard many stories that under the pressure of managers and the crazy crowd Farmer was seen more like zombie. She was sorry to hear that her spouse had been through all that, and glad that they had found happiness and peace here, with her.
Haley already had some suspicions, as Farmer was not only the namesake of her favourite singer, but also looked similar, but did not voice her guesses aloud. When her lover had accidentally blabbed about this, and had already decided to reveal their secret on such an occasion, Haley just thanked them for their trust in her. Previously, she would not have understood how it is possible to give up the glamorous life of a beloved pop star, but she realised that life with dependence on caffeine, under the fear of crazy fans and people who are only interested in money from concerts, is not a life but a living hell.
Emily's eyes shone with joy at what she heard. Her wonderful spouse was that talented singer, whose songs the blue-haired girl loved to dance to on Valley's festivals and at other times when she felt full of energy. However, immediately she became sad, as she knew why the singer left the stage, so many toxic people and negative aura around them were... Emily in no way wants Farmer to think she's like one of those fans either, and promised to keep their secret.
Well, Leah guessed, since besides the similarity in appearance and the fact that the last name and surname of her spouse and singer are the same, Farmer came almost as soon as they left their singing career. Aloud she did not voice it, as she considered it unnecessary to "pry" from her spouse the truth and understood where such paranoia in keeping the secret. Hundreds or even thousands of people, like her ex, or even worse, who follow you... Brrr! She comforted Farmer and assured them that she would take their secret to the grave. And if someone does find out, she has plenty of sculpting tools to fend off her spouse from the "fans"...
So Lewis telling Olivia about Farmer being a former clerk at Joja was just a cover so people wouldn't recognise them? Makes sense, or else her and Farmer's home would be overflowing with crazy fans carousing for their idol. Although Olivia herself isn't much of a fan of their music style, her spouse's voice is truly beautiful when she listened them. City life, especially for a famous person, can get very exhausting, so Olivia truly understands their secrecy and reluctance to discuss the past. And yes, she will keep that secret, promise π
"Wait, is it true? You really are-" Scarlett jumped up on the spot, not believing her ears. Her dearest Farmer is the famous lead singer from her favourite music band! She loves listening to their albums while she's busy sewing a new costume for the comicon and- wait. The same singer who quit their career because of crazy 'fans'. "Oh, man.... I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" Even though Farmer assures her it's okay, Scarlet feels a little shitty because they were standing in the middle of a public square in the city, and if anyone heard her joyful shriek.
Of course, Claire raised her eyebrows in surprise as Farmer told her that they had worked as an accountant at Joja before, and here was a whole five year career as a singer, and such a talented and popular one at that. It was only when the cashier wanted to question why her spouse had hidden it that she recalled the "incident" with fans that almost cost Farmer their life. "I'm sorry about that..." Still, Claire is glad Farmer was able to get away from it all and found happiness in farming.
Sophia's eyes widened slightly in surprise and the dots connected in her head. Her lover came to Stardew Valley at the same time as the famous and much-loved singer (whose song played in her favourite anime!) retired. The girl is sorry to hear that Farmer had to endure so many horrible incidents in their career as a singer, as breaking into their home or fans trying to kidnap them despite the security.... She dreaded to imagine what it had been like for them. Sophia, instead of jumping for joy that it's one of her favourite singers, silently hugs Farmer.
Wheeezes! Their reactions are so hilarious. π Imagine if the adventurers and including Camila or Jadu visiting the Farmer for some favors and notice the huge ass smiling blueberry with sunglasses in the farm.
A random thought, during the Mr. Qi's Crop Challenge (you know the one were you have to plant and shipped 500 Qi Beans) how will the SDV/SVE Bachelors gonna react to their lover (the Farmer) planting this weird looking crop that looks like a blueberry with sunglasses across the farm fields. π
Ah, Qi beans... Probably my least favourite quest, because spending a whole month growing this stuff, and also getting these fucking beans instead of cool gifts in chests or fish.... Ugh. Oh well, sorry for that π
Even though this fruit is annoying to me, the ask itself regarding the reactions of others to it is pretty funny, hee hee. Thanks for the ask, and enjoy! π«°π
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SDV/SVE bachelors react to the Qi fruit:
"Looks creepy..... And cool, by the way. What did you do to make them grow like that?" Sebastian's spouse is a virtuoso at growing all sorts of unusual crops, and he thinks it's a mega cool ability. Just a week ago they ate a salad made from an 'ancient fruit', and the day before yesterday they cut up a giant mushroom crop that was the size of a large pumpkin (even though Sebby's doesn't like shrooms, it was still cool!). Now it's the weird fruit with sunglasses. He wonder what unusual plant Farmer will grow tomorrow...
"Oh, I know! Are those fruits and vegetables that grow in different shapes?" Sam recently watched a video about gardeners who grow square watermelons or tomatoes in the shape of hearts using plastic moulds. So the guitarist reckoned his spouse had decided to join the trend too. A strange choice, yeah, but hey - bonus for cool sunglasses! And what does this 'Qi' fruit taste like? Looks like a giant blue melon, Sammy wouldn't mind a tasty snack. Anyway, he doesn't know much about gardening himself, so he'll leave that to Farmer.
"Did you buy sunglasses for every fruit you grow or what?" And tell us, dear Alex - why would your beloved Farmer do that? These things maybe look like sunglasses, but are hardly sunglasses. But who knows? It's definitely an unfamiliar fruit for an athlete, especially compared to what his grandmother Evelyn used to grow in the community garden all the time. But if it's edible and full of vitamins (no), then Alex doesn't really care about the look of the Qi fruit. "Hey, even if this tastes awful, we'll have plenty of pairs of sunglasses!"
"That's some ugly ass fruit right here. Do people really eat that stuff now?" Truth be told, while working at JojaMart, Shane had managed to see stranger products labelled as 'novelty'. This applied not only to obscure sauces and snacks of dubious origin, but also to fruits and vegetables. The blue colour of the "Qi" fruit Farmer grew generally gave Shane the idea that his spouse had purchased the seeds just from Joja.co. It looked strange, but Shane didn't even mind tasting it. If it's edible at all. This fruit certainly doesn't get any worse than Joja's 'special' sauce for nachos, of that he's sure.
"Honey, are you sure it's safe to eat?" Every time another crop of obscure origin ripens on the farm, Harvey's heart begins to pound with worry. What if it's poisonous? What if it's not handled properly and you could get food poisoning? Why is it such a strange shape? "Farmer, please..." The poor doctor goes through all the books on vegetables, fruits and berries, hoping to find some information about this Qi fruit and whether it's okay to eat it (spoiler - to no avail). Either it's another "healthy" product from Joja or something else. Either way, Harvey will be sceptical, to say the least.
"...If I understand correctly, my soul, this is our dinner for today?" Elliott could have sworn the fruit had just winked at him! The writer had heard that some farmers and gardeners deliberately grow their crops in a variety of shapes to make them look extravagant and sell them for more money, but... Of all the shapes, his spouse chose the face... But maybe that's the kind of crop that's in high demand on market right now. Elliott hoped that if they were to bake strudel with this 'Qi' fruit today, it would taste better than it looked. Also... sunglasses?
"Hmm, I wonder... Where exactly did you get those seeds, my love?" It is not appropriate for Lance to judge the strange crop that Farmer has grown, when the adventurer himself has a monster crop ripening in a corner on the farm, with an appearance similar to a huge eyeball. Nevertheless, this strange fruit arouses a share of suspicion in the pink-haired man. Something is not right here.... If his dear spouse doesn't mind, Lance would also like to take a look at this fruit, for he is very curious to know if this crop has any magical properties. Or anything that might threaten him or Farmer.
"This... thing is unnatural. What in the name of all spirits did you grow this abomination from?" Magnus's whole gut screams that this is not just a fruit, but the spawn of a dangerous mage or witch. Thin threads of dark magic emanate from this fruit, and the wizard certainly doesn't like Farmer being in contact with that magic. "Eat it? Absolutely not! And is it even edible?" A worried Magnus questions his spouse about who gave them these seeds and why. Hearing the name 'Qi', he sighs heavily. Mr. Qi. Of course... This name definitely promises a lot of chaos for everyone.
"Erm... That's wonderful, darling! You've managed to grow this, um... What's it called again?" Victor had spent two whole days in the town library and looked all sorts of books at home - not a single mention, about this mysterious 'Qi fruit'. It's not, to tell the truth, the strangest thing Farmer grew in their fertile fields (monster crops will always be at the top of the list for strangeness. Especially the one with the giant eyeball). Maybe it's some new fruit his spouse has discovered? Victor is sure the Farmer knows what they're doing. But yeah, he's supportive.
Bruh why does he look like Lucas from WMMAP!? π³
I was just messing with the Wizard's hairstyles in RRRR mod. And when I checked to see his portrait, I nearly have heartattack. If you can just squint a little and imagine Magnus in Lucas's color palette. You get what I mean.
What is up with me finding older wizards attractive
Ahhhh I wish I could date and marry you but I can't. I'm married and have 2 kids. Don't worry there's going to be another farmer for you.