BRO NAME ONE PERSON WHO WOULDN'T SIMP FOR THIS MAN! BECAUSE I CERTAINLY DO! AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS

Chilling in space 👌😎🌌

Crazy, I was crazy once

crazy? I was crazy once

And now a special AC headcannon:

Advice from Altaïr

(Advice from Altaïr)

Altair was sitting on a comfy chair by the fire place, reading a book while drinking warm coffee by him.

Altair: *looks up at the reader* Hi, my name is Altair Lbn-La'Ahad and Welcome to Advice from me, Altair.

Altair: *takes a sip of his coffee* so, something tells me you didn't just scroll threw hundreds of other AC headcannons just to get to me... your probably here for images of Jacob without his shirt on or some of my other family tree memebers with out their shirts don't who know what....

Altair: so let's just make this quick... *clears throught* my advice for you is... WEAR. A. F***KING! MASK!!!!

Altair: SERIOUSLY WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING!!! YOUR GONNA GET PEOPLE SICK!!! *puts on a black mask with a white Syrian assassin's creed logo on it*

Altair: TO ALL THE KARENS OUT! WEAR A F***ING MASK!!! YOUR KILLING MORE PEOPLE THEN RANTING ABOUT MASK KILLING PEOPLE!!!

Altair: OH IM SORRY THAT THE MASK IS UNCOMFORTABLE! KAREN!!! BUT SOME OF US ARE TRYING!! TO STAY SAFE! THAT WAY WE CAN GET THIS WHOLE LOCK DOWN THING OVER WITH AND DONE SO WE CAN HAVE OUR OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES AGAIN!!!

Altair: *pants* *pants* *clears throat* ... that's all the time I have for you today, tune in next week where I give you advice about how to deal with Karens.

And this has been:

Advice with Altaïr

(Advice with Altaïr)

So ya I decided to make this a thing now... so ya, each week I'll post an Advice with Altaïr on here, cause I think everyone needs a bit of slice of life with Altair right?

So ya next week is another advice with Altair so stay tuned. 😎✌

Also sorry about it being a rant about mask safety.... I just hate online schooling... its boring.... ubisoft please don't sue me!

Jacob: so Desmond I heard we were going on a trip for our next mission.

Desmond: ya.

Jacob: so we going by Train-

Desmond: no.

Jacob: ...why?

Desmond: you know very well why we're not going by train!

Jacob: uh... the same reason why we don't go by boat?

Desmond: ... ok half the reason.

Don't tell scp-049

Day 1

049 has been temporarily moved to another site for the week. Before leaving however 049 reminds every to not cause to much trouble while he's away, however two particular scps see this as a window of opertunity

035: *has a researcher host and is currently ductaping 049-j to the ceiling* Hehe!

076: *is helping by holding 049-j in place* *snickers*

049-J: *sweating profusely* ...Well this is quite the bother...

106: *just watching* *wheezes* Haha!

682: *walks in with 053 on his back*

053: *holding 079* Uhm... what are you guys doing?

035: ductaping Doc's werid little brother to the ceiling~.

076: Haha! *holding 049-J to the ceiling*

049-J: *bird screeching noises*

079: *beeps* request to ask, why are you two doing such an idiotic thing? *beeps*

076: cause it's funny and entertaining as hell! Haha!

053: and what about you? *points to the old man*

106: oh I just came to watch them torment the little bastard! *wheezes* Haha!

682: The doctor will surely be pissed at the two of you if he found out that you two were doing this to his werid little nuisance of a brother. Especially you, 035.

035: oh ya, that reminds me- Don't. Tell. Doc. About this *chuckles* he'll be very, very, very upset, so guys whatever you do. *puts more tape on 049-j* Don't. Tell. Doc!

053: ... He's gonna find out-

035: Don't. Tell. Doc!

106: he's gonna know, they have security footage here.

035: Don't. Tell. Doc- he doesn't watch any if the security footage!

079: *beeps* he helps me edit, a calculation of *whirling noises* *beeps* 20.7% of the security footage when the security team isn't around.

035: Well then. *turns to face one of the security cameras* Doc if you some how find out, I will repaint the ceiling and watch your crackhead brother for a week. *putting more ductap on 049-J*

106: you're both are so dead. *wheezes* but it's worth the watch at J's expense! Haha!

035: Doc's not gonna know!

049-J: He'll watch!

076: *ductapes 049-j's beak up* Silence smaller bird-man!

682: I live for the day that the plague doctor finally smashes you you into bits 035. Within a week is most likely the day he finally does.

035: he won't know! Just Don't tell Doc! It's perfectly fine. *finshes ductaping 049-J to the ceiling* there! *pats the tap down* finished!

076: *let's go and steps back chuckling* tiny bird-man is now the ceilings problem!

049-J is now ductaped to the ceiling of the site 19 break room. 049-J tries to break from his ductape imprisonment, but doesn't move an inch.

035: This is truly legacy!

076: Haha!

106: *wheezes* Haha!

682: *shakes his head with disappointment* Idiots... all of them. Idiots.

053: I feel bad for J...

079: *beeps* Don't feel to bad for him. He had this one coming. *beeps*

Hope you enjoyed day one of Don't Tell scp 049. Inspired by both "Don't tell Amy" from Unus Annus and one clip from scp explained when they literally said in there video with scp 049 and 096 where a reasercher said "Don't tell scp 049." And I was ha that kind of reminds me of when Mark was like Don't tell Amy. XD

Then I came up with this little idea. Yes there will be more of this all the way till day 7, so stat tuned for that! Oh and remember to stay safe and-

Don't tell Scp-049

[Current Day 1] [Day 2] [Day 3] [Day 4] [Day 5]

Bro I need some inspiration right now for something I wish to work on but need the extra push to finsh it rn.

Reblog the writers’ fortune cookie for luck!

PLUSHIES!!!!

☕💀🦅

Jacob: dude, how do you sleep with your closet door opean, aren't you afraid a demon could be watching you?!

Altair: *murder smile* Haha, Jacob you fool, you absolute SWINE! I'M the one watching the DEMON!

At night

Demon:...

Altair: *staring intensely at the closet demon* ...

Demon: ... can you not...

Altair: No you asked for this motherf@#$er!

I see Star Wars Mando...

I just buy it

MORE CURSED STUFF!!!