Cptsd - Blog Posts

today i got triggered, and i took care of myself.

i made all the healthy choices, and then i felt better.

and for that im really proud of myself.

its really confusing when youve had a traumatic childhood, but your adult life has been really traumatic too.

because on the one hand i have so much nostalgia for my childhood and i long for it, but on the other hand it really wasnt that great.. i just had less responsibility for my health.

i feel like im constantly searching for when i felt safe, but im not even sure if there was really a time where i truely felt safe.

i think thats why i love engaging with media from my childhood so much, its what helped me escape as a kid and im still running after that feeling.

It's wild how abusers will normalize things and use different language to make it sound okay.

"spanking" instead of "hitting" or "beating" unless they're threatening you. Once it's over, you got *spanked" and not "beaten."

I've known for a while that my parents were physically abusive when I was growing up, but I was afraid to call what they did "beating" until recently. I had a conversation with someone I grew up with, and that's what she called it. I was dumbfounded for a second before I stopped and thought about it. Then, I felt validated and heard.