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Mental Health - Blog Posts
Have you ever taken a warm bath in the dark listening to metal? I just have, and it was fckin' awesome.
I also just discovered Dayligh Dies, and oh gosh, I already love their music
"Damn... I died."
(im pretty new to digital art so.... Yeah)
Made this cuz my life is very confuseing at the moment...
Why can't I just tell people how I feel, cuz I know that I'm not feeling good about myself. Cuz I can never say that I like what I see in the mirror... It makes me mad.
tbh im so surprised that i still draw as much as i do considering my constant depression, i lit draw almost EVERYDAY and i almost never get burnt out or lose motivation, though i think it’s cuz of my undying mha hyperfixation that i’m mostly drawing lol 😇
The only correct response to confrontation is to fucking book it the other way
Rise Splinter Headcanons
1. A big reason why Splinter is dedicated to being a good father is because his father left his mother and him when he was younger. He doesn’t want his sons to ever feel abandoned and unloved like he did.
It would also be a reason why Splinter took the Turtles in immediately after meeting them.
2. A reason why Splinter lost his athletic build was because he went through a depressive state. He lost of his motivation and missed his past life. If the turtles didn’t stay with him, things would have turned for the worse.
Thoughts? 😊❤️
Okay, so this week has been intense, in the worst sense, and it's only Tuesday. First of all on Sunday I had to stop working because I fucked up my wrist, I'm a butcher, and cutting/hitting the piece of meat wrong can lead to a sprained or broken wrist, lucky it is just sprained, and today I had to go to class because of some important assignments I had to show my teacher and I got a major panic attack, which ended in me in my towns hospital and some medication that made me drowsy, so I didn't go to class but I got some sleep I actually needed.
Probably the rest of the week is going to be better, but right now it has been like a loony toons episode.
Riding a Wave That Never Breaks
Manga spoilers and Dark themes
Sometimes you can’t escape your inner demons no matter how much time has passed. Four amazing years may pass, but that darkness is only one storm away.
Midoriya struggled a lot with depression growing up. Despite having a loving mother and a safe home environment, the torture he suffered through the day was too much.
Midoriya loved everything about the hero world and how he could escape into fantastic fantasies. He was constantly diving deep, imagining alternate universes where he was respected by his peers. Midoriya craved positive attention or for the hollow feeling inside him to vanish.
On the days Midoriya didn’t have school, he’d curl up in his bed and never move. Unless his mother sweetly called him for dinner or suggested some bonding time, the day was spent wasting away underneath a comforter.
Midoriya was lucky to have met Toshinori. The man gave Midoriya a sense of purpose that he had been missing. Toshinori saw something in Midoriya that Midoriya never saw in himself. It was like he was reborn, suddenly showered in affection, and given a list of things to do to better himself.
Midoriya trained his mind and body every day. Midoriya was eating healthy and filling meals three times a day. By the end of the day, Midoriya was ready to sleep. With getting proper sleep, intake of nutrients, and producing endorphins through intense training, Midoriya was feeling much better.
Despite the upward climb, there were times Midoriya gave into the gloom. He’d skip showering, not study, ignore the tangles in his hair, never change out his uniform at the end of the day, sleep the day away, not sleep at all, and a plethora of other things he did when things were getting bad.
Neglecting his needs was one thing, but he’d harm himself in more direct ways. He never thought much about it, simply seeing it as a way to relieve the tension in his head and the tightness in his chest. He did it in places he knew would never see the light of day.
In a short two years, Midoriya was seventeen and dealing with mountains of trauma he didn’t know how to digest. Midoriya was surrounded by people who brought out the best in him, but he could feel himself slipping.
“I’m not hungry, sorry.”
“I really needed to catch up on sleep.”
“Can we reschedule? I’m so sorry something came up.”
“Sorry, I’m a bit behind on my studies.”
“Maybe some other time?”
Midoriya slowly withdrew himself from his peers. With the door locked, lights off, and the silence of the soundproof walls made it easy for the sickening sweet voice in the back of his mind to grow louder.
“Was this all worth it?”
“You served your purpose, you aren’t needed anymore.”
“They probably are happy you aren’t around as much.”
“That sounds like so much work.”
“You really can’t amount to anything.”
“A lazy hero is good for nothing.”
With an empty stomach and an ache in his heart, Midoriya closed his eyes and slept the dark thoughts away. When an alarm broke him out of his nightmare, he slept through his usual morning run.
It didn’t take long for everyone to notice something was off. Todoroki, worried and unsure of what to do in this situation, practically fed Midoriya lunch, not giving him a chance to skip a meal. If he had to guilt-trip Midoriya into it he would.
“I got this just for you,” revealed Todoroki, extending out the warm bowl of katsudon.
Midoriya would softly smile, sitting next to his best friend and enjoying the warm meal. The perfect crunch of the breading and the juiciness of the pork nearly brought him to tears. It didn’t matter what meal it was, Midoriya would swallow every last bite to respect his friend's kindness.
Bakugo talked with Toshinori and Aizawa, knowing that they may no longer be Midoriya’s teachers, but they were parental figures. He knew something was wrong and this was bigger than him and his classmates. Aizawa and Toshinori weren’t constants in Midoriya’s life, but their value remained. Their assistance would mean so much more than the nineteen people who are constantly around him.
During the war, Midoriya never once reached out for help when he was working himself to death. If Midoriya was experiencing something that was troubling him or he couldn’t save himself from whatever he was going through, Bakugo would pull him out.
It seemed that Toshinori and Aizawa had a hunch that something like what was happening would happen soon enough. Aizawa knew very well that the trauma Midoriya refused to acknowledge would come back tenfold.
Toshinori knew the psychological damage he experienced over the years by dealing with his demons. Being the number one hero and having the entire world on his shoulders was a burden he wouldn’t wish on anyone. That’s why he originally gave Midoriya the quirk. He believed he was simply passing on a powerful quirk.
When it came out that All for One was not dead and that he had a successor, Toshinori felt guilt consume him. He put Midoriya in a situation far worse than the one he’d lived through.
Midoriya watched nearly all the people he cared about die and/or be on the brink of death. Midoriya watched thousands of innocent people die, unable to do anything. There was an evil far worse than any the world had seen before and Midoriya had to face it himself.
Midoriya had to shove all his emotions deep down as he was forced to see the corpse of someone he cherished dearly. Midoriya was a kid but wasn't in a position to handle the situation as one.
Midoriya was struggling with the trauma of the war and the pressure he was put under. Midoriya would forever be scarred from the responsibility placed in his hand. Yet, deep down, Midoriya was ashamed of the itch he had to be important.
There was this craving for chaos and the fight to the death. Suddenly nothing was going on and the feeling of worthlessness settled in. Midoriya didn't want innocent people to die again or for the world to be in danger, but he felt like something was missing without the danger.
The guilt of missing something so horrible killed him more than what he was put through. Maybe they were interconnected in some way but, in Midoriya's mind, wanting it to happen again was a different trauma response than his episode of depression.
Sometimes, Midoriya's brain filled itself with noise when the world was too quiet. The earth-shattering sounds of the battle and his scream mixing with the screams of the rest of the world would haunt him. The rare spots on his wall where there was no All Might merchandise, Midoriya's eyes would focus on the white wall and let the rest of his room fade away.
Midoriya could fall into a staring contest with his wall while standing, sitting, or lying down. There were no limits and he usually would catch himself doing it whenever he was in the security of his room. These moments of pure disassociation could last from anywhere of a couple of seconds to over an hour.
It was Saturday night and Bakugo was going to drag Midoriya down to study with the class. He figured surrounding him with everyone would help get him out of his head a bit. He always liked to think he knew Midoriya the best, but he didn't know the first thing to do to help Midoriya snap out of whatever mental decline he was trapped in.
"Izuku, I'm coming in," announced Bakugo, hand already turning the door handle.
Bakugo didn't think much about not receiving any response and opened the door. Midoriya was on his bed, lying on his side as he stared at his wall motionlessly.
"Nerd?"
Midoriya didn't seem to notice Bakugo or even signal he heard Bakugo address him. Bakugo started panicking, worried Midoriya was unresponsive. Bakugo started looking over Midoriya after dropping to his knees beside the bed.
"Shit, Izuku. Look at me!" begged Bakugo, reaching to check for a pulse. He cursed himself for not paying closer attention to Midoriya's health. It took seconds for Bakugo to feel the steady thumping of Midoriya's pulse under his fingers.
Midoriya blinked, feeling the warm touch and wanting to lean into it. His vision of the wall was blocked by Bakugo's worried expression and he couldn't help but feel like everything was okay for this split second in time.
Tears started falling and Midoriya couldn't find the strength in himself to stop. Midoriya let his whole body shake with each sob he let rip through his body. He hated feeling so hopeless and feeling stuck in such a horrible mindset. It was a scary feeling to have no control over.
Bakugo didn't need to hear anything to know that Midoriya needed him at that moment. Bakugo reached for Midoriya's hand and took it securely in his own before resting his forehead against Midoriya's. Rough and crooked fingers intertwined and squeezed soft and powerful fingers.
"I don't know what to do Kacchan," wept Midoriya, feeling safe to express himself.
Bakugo remained quiet momentarily before letting his gut do the talking. "You don't have to know what to do all the time. Sometimes life sucks and you have to let others make it less shitty."
Midoriya cried harder, pulling out his other hand to gently wrap it against Bakugo's wrist. "I can't do this anymore."
"And you don't have to. I'm here. If you can't handle burdens on your own, I'm here. Let me help, Izuku," stressed Bakugo, brushing Midoriya's bangs out of his forehead. "I'll be there to save you every time you need a hero."
Midoriya felt like the room was no longer caving in on him and that the world finally had air to spare. His grip on Bakugo momentarily tightened before he took a deep breath. There was something so incredible about Bakugo and how he never failed to be Midoriya's anchor. Bakugo never failed to reach his hand out to lift Midoriya out of the pit he was trapped in.
“Let’s go take a shower, grab you something to eat, and how about we go study? You don’t need to be alone and if you get overwhelmed we can ditch,” guided Bakugo as he removed his one hand from Midoriya’s bangs to poke his freckles.
Still feeling vulnerable, Midoriya let out a shaky breath. “Yeah, can you just stay here with me for a bit?”
Bakugo rose from his uncomfortable position and crashed beside Midoriya on his bed. “You could ask me to destroy the world and I’d do it.”
Midoriya smiled, feeling his cheeks heat up by the powerful confession. “You sure know how to make a boy feel special.”
“After existing in a world without you… I never wanted to experience it again.”
Midoriya suddenly realized he had something he could use to anchor himself down. He remembered seeing Bakugo lying in the crumbling field of injured heroes. He remembered the dread that filled him upon seeing the sickeningly beautiful sight of Bakugo’s peaceful resting expression. The crushing horror of seeing his unbreathing, bloodied body would forever haunt his dreams.
Why would he give up a life where Bakugo was right next to him?
“I never want to experience it either,” professed Midoriya, feeling a warmth fill his chest, seeing the scars that littered Bakugo’s body. Those scars were proof that this boy before him would always defy and twist fate to come back to him.
The downward spiral ended when he was forced to remember every wonderful thing he had to live for. He had to live for Bakugo, Todoroki, Uraraka, Eri, Aizawa, Toshinori, his mother, and the surplus of people whom he never wanted to live without.
Overcoming depression wasn’t easy and his recovery wasn’t going to be fast. There would be those moments when the exhaustion that filled him was too much or the pressure of outside expectations killed his appetite and kept him up at night. The battle was a lot easier being surrounded by people who never failed to bring a smile to his face.
Freshly cleaned and fed, Midoriya had his bookbag filled with unfinished homework and study guides. Bakugo was right next to him, wearing an accomplished grin as he plopped down next to Midoriya. The excited greetings of his classmates washed away any bits of anxiety that he may have had left.
“Ready to get this study game on?” questioned Kirishima happily upon seeing two of his best buds appear together.
“Yeah! I’ll admit I’m a bit behind,” admitted Midoriya meekly.
Iida seemed to not care about the fact that Midoriya got behind on schoolwork and smiled warmly. “Well let’s get you caught up!”
Midoriya eagerly nodded, feeling the buzz of his classmate's excitement rub off on him. They were all gathered together to study, but Midoriya couldn’t help but be overjoyed to be with them at that moment.
Things would be okay.
little rant under the cut about mental illnesses and people being dumb
one of my least favourite things in the world is people who use mental illnesses as insults. "i dont like them so theyre a narcissist" is one, not a thing, two, not an insult. thats a personality disorder, not something to be used to hurt someones feelings. same thing as using gay as an insult but, for some reason, significantly more socially acceptable. being narcissistic, bipolar, schizophrenic, or anything of the sort is not an insult, its just putting down people who are mentally ill. genuinely it just infuriates me.
i feel like the universe shakes a magic 8 ball every three hours on whether or not im depressed and i really need it to stop doing that please
I know I’ve posted abt it before but I’ll preach it from the rooftops, therapy is INCREDIBLY difficult to get, especially because it’s so expensive but let me let u in on something, therapy CAN BE FREE. You have to do a lot of digging and sometimes you even have to go to offices in person to get any answers but trust me, if you need therapy or know someone who needs it it is so worth it to dig around. (Of course the fact that you HAVE to fight so hard for free therapy is a flaw that should be fixed but until that happens we’re forced to go to the extremes) if you don’t know where to start look up “free therapy options near me” and do some digging, then if you find a place that offers something you send them as many emails as possible, call them, go there if you can. And get something sorted. If there’s nothing online then just look up offices near you and do the same thing, call, email, tell them your story, don’t be abrasive, just be pushy. If you need help but you can’t afford it, you need to advocate for yourself. It’s a shame because some people need therapy because they CANT advocate for themselves.
i think that mayhaps therapy should be cheaper. Or free. Mostly free. It should be more accessible.
(I’m having to convince my younger cousin that she Should Not feel guilty FOR FUCKING EATING. I love trying to convince a literal middle schooler not to develop an eating disorder. I should be paid for this.)
Listen up!
You see a post like this? Where OP might hurt/kill themselves? You hit that button that I circled
Hit that.
Click Suicide or Self-harm Concern
Yes.
Fill in the rest of it, and hit submit. The "content you reported" will fill itself in
Tumblr will follow up and help them.
Warning: this is only for mobile. If anyone knows how to do this for desktop, please add it!
This could SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.
YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO REBLOG THIS.
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT DOESN'T GO WITH YOUR BLOG'S THEME.
And yes, REBLOG. Liking does no shit at all. This isn't ig.
You reblog, people see it. You don't, people don't see it. This shit's that simple.
This could save someone's life. It's not a joke.
When something bad happens to you, you may feel you have to change as a person, you act out and make up a new personality that isn't you to cope, and sometimes you take it so far you don't even remember who you are anymore, I've been dealing with this for the longest time, but I think I've found a good way to explain the way I'm trying to connect to old me and hopefully find out who I am.
Imagine your image of yourself, the way you are is a mirror, and when the bad shit happens, the mirror slightly cracks after something like that happens. You may be like me and purposely chance your personality to deal with that and try not to be like the old you to stop the feelings. Now imagine that is just you breaking the mirror even more. After a few years of this behavior, you can't even recognize your reflection anymore because the mirror has gotten so small it's just shards. So you try to find one shard you can still see yourself in (one part of your past self you still connect to) and try to feel like that version of you again. Eventually, you will connect the bits of the mirror together again. And sure, it may not be perfect, but it's you, and you can stick the bits of mirror together anyway you want. use glue? sure, stickers? why not, tape? fuck yes, that represents the you you are now still being a part of the new you maybe some shards won't fit you anymore maybe the mirror will have a different shape but it's still you in the reflection looking back at yourself.
Once you fix the mirror and find out how to be the you you were before you pretended to be someone else again, you can try and live on and change naturally because of experiences Instead of obsessively making up personalities you're trying so hard to be hoping one day one will feel right, you can slowly, over time, change, mature, and become a different person, and that person would (hopefully) be you.
Sorry if this sounds dumb it's just an idea I use to try and find myself again, I'm still working through it, so I don't know if it works yet.
Ditto, I ain't missing out
You can only reblog this today.
Do you think some higher being gives humanity a plague for every 100 years of human hatred towards each other and sends them again and again because we can't get a clue and help each other instead of looking for other reasons to hate?
Just had to share the love (*´▽｀*)
Source
http://chng.it/sqjdQWfvTH
As someone who personally experiences with psychosis, what Saraya Rees did shouldn't be overlooked. But imprisoning her instead getting her the help she clearly needs is not ok.
If you don't know, Saraya has been on antidepressants due to her being severely bullied at school. She was abruptly taken off of them, which by the way is dangerous in the first place. She was experiencing a psychotic episode as a side affect of withdrawal and poured gasoline in front of her parents door while calling out for help. Her mother had said Saraya DID NOT attempt to light a fire. Her 11 year sentence shouldn't be the response for punishment.
She needs psychiatric care in which she is currently not getting. She was 14 when she was charged without parole.
This is not the way to treat someone with mental health issues!
They are not monsters that should be put away!
We are not something you should overlook because you don't understand!
Please spread the word about Saraya
Hey, if you see this, please know; someone cares about you, someone will listen, just take the first step
“Our family is so normal”
“We’re all perfectly neurotypical”
THEN EXPLAIN THIS
i think something i want most in the world is for someone to hate me.
Like absolutely despise me completely.
It would validate a lot of my feelings about myself while also maybe showing me how invalid they are.
I mean what i actually want most in the world is to be loved but
heh that’s a lot to ask for (it’s not i just can’t quite convince myself it’s not).
now i wanna just sort of finally find someone to talk to- to connect to. It’s just weird being on my own so frequently, aching to be loved and understood, but being terrified of actually connecting to someone. As i told the color green, if you allow yourself to be loved then you also open yourself up to vulnerability. And survivors of ab*** just don’t have that luxury.
i reached out to someone and it didnt go well. Except in reality it really could’ve gone well. I didnt really give myself the space to be rejected- so now here i am back on my own.
It’s like i whispered to someone in a windy tunnel and hoped they heard me.
isn't it insane though how schizophrenic people are viewed as violent and dangerous by the majority of society when in reality schizophrenic people are nearly 14 times more likely to be on the receiving end of violence than to be the perpetrators...
Trama giveth (found family) Trama taketh (literally your mental health)
Does anyone else feel like TikTok is constantly changing things and making problems?
Like TikTok waters down things so badly. I’ve seen the zoophile and mental illness finger pointed so much on that app, and the terms aren’t even being used correctly! No, that person isn’t a zoo cause they use fantasy toys. No, that therian isn’t a clinical lycanthrope. No, BPD isn’t just mood swings and being abusive.
I know you can still find things like this on other platforms but it feels like TikTok is just overrun by it?
Something really important I want alterhumans who may be struggling with mental issues or delusions is that you are no less alterhuman. As someone who struggles with delusions sometimes those can mix into your alterhumanity in a really annoying way. I hope you can one day get the help you need and enjoy your otherkinity however makes you happy! <3
This is exactly how I remember it.
A family vacation coming up
The day before we leave
She was super excited about it just yesterday,
But I noticed she seemed a little sad.
Today its just...distant.
Quiet...short responses...but most of all
The feeling 8n the air itself that terrible things are about to happen.
It's easier now, to see that it is probably my ptsd...
But it does confirm that there is ptsd to work through, and that makes me sad.
Because I'm fidgeting just hoping and praying and doing everything in my power to be kind and thoughtful and PERFECT
Because I trained myself for years to avoid the outburst I could never keep from coming.