Diary - Blog Posts

Me taking my first binder break and placing a stitch marker on my chest for a second and I see the return of my dread: this is a fucking disaster.

me now making silly headcanon that when a trans kid is trying to cover up what their wearing from their maybe strict transphobic family:

transmasckid: *covering up some of exposure of their binder with their shirt collar*

mom and dad: what are you doing? what is that-

kid: *panicking* I'M SPIDERMAN

m&d: ....

kid: ....

m&d: ..... spiderman better go do the dishes to live here and not end up a homeless superhero then.

transfemkid: *comes home after a night out with friends*

m&d: are you going to tell us where you were all night?

kid: *covering themselves up in a trench coat and sunglasses* uh, with friends.

m&d: what did you- wait what are you wearing?

kid: I'M- SPIDERMAN.

m&d: ...

kid: ....

m&d: well Spiderman, we're going to have a discussion tomorrow about your swinging route on the way home tonight. go to bed.

me covering up my neck area the second any "skin" is exposed, I'm hiding my binder from my family:

Me, making the anxiety of hiding this from them for now until I'm ready to show even my mom to let her know what's up, internally: I AM SPIDERMAN

me covering up my neck area the second any "skin" is exposed, I'm hiding my binder from my family:

Me, making the anxiety of hiding this from them for now until I'm ready to show even my mom to let her know what's up, internally: I AM SPIDERMAN

Now that I have a binder I'm now just noticing these little things I did- like, push down on my chest randomly throughout the day (my hand missed and I was surprised I did but then I realised that I did that a lot), slouch aggressively (that might be the autism) and do a T-Rex arm whenever I shifted movement unexpectedly or needed to put the rubbish bag in the big bin to not notice the two baseball's attached to me move- the more you fucking know, oh my god.

I just hugged my dad for the first time in my binder. I can't explain this wave of emotion that has just hit me. It's a side hug but it's the closest I've felt to my dad in years. I'm so fucking happy I want to just cry and let it out but I need to fucking breathe lmao.

You can come in any font of text, but if you're a word I find I love, I will fall madly for you.