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Hsr X Reader - Blog Posts

1 year ago

Fainted...โš“๐Ÿ›ข๏ธโ›ฝ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿšฆ

breeding kink with jing yuan or welt please? ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘ˆ

Hell yes! Perfect! Although I already wrote it for Welt so this will be only Jing Yuan.

Pairing: Jing Yuan x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, breeding kink, pregnancy mention, desk sex, office sex, dirty talk, married couple, creampie

A/N: I have so many thoughts about Jing Yuan, its hard to get them all in order.

Breeding Kink With Jing Yuan Or Welt Please? ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘ˆ

Jing Yuan loves seeing you overflowing with his seed, which is why one of his favorite positions is you bent over his desk in his office, panties around your ankles to catch any cum that falls down. He was wild in bed before but ever since you've gotten married he hasn't stopped trying to get you pregnant, might take a few tries but don't worry, he's never one to give up.

"It's okay darling, we'll keep this up for as long as it takes. I have no problem staying in that warm hole of yours all day if needed. Work? No, nothing is more important then giving you the kids that you want. You ready? Here it comes, take it all okay? Fuck... feels like... you're trying to get every drop. Good, good, take it, be my greedy slut."

You get frustrated a lot when you see how much of his cum flows out as opposed to stays inside you so you reach down and start fingering it back inside. Jing Yuan kisses your back while you do so, his hand working his cock up to full hardness once more.

"Don't be sad, I've got lots more for you, I'll make sure you have as much of my seed as possible you hear? Baby, shh, no need for those whimpers. I know, I know you feel empty, I'll give you my cock again soon. I won't leave this office without making sure your womb took my cum. I can't wait to see your belly grow round, can't wait to touch it, to feel the baby kicking."

He doesn't care how many days he has to have you in his office or his bed like this, all he wants is to breed you thoroughly, be balls deep inside you as your pussy tightens and loosens around him for the hundredth time. He starts to not even want to pull out, keeping his soft cock in there until its hardened again by the subtle twitches and spasms of your pussy walls, keeping more cum inside that way too.

"Again. Fuck, lets go again. I'm not stopping, not now, I'll fuck my heir into that pretty belly of yours. Just wait until I get hard again. Hm? More then one? Oh you thought I would stop at one? Sweetheart, if I could breed you all the time I would. Sadly that wouldn't be good for you, so how many do you want? I was thinking three kids at least."


Tags

kinktober 2024 day 7: corruption (kafka)

cw: corruption. mindbreak. dark content. kidnapping. hypnosis. fingering. afab!gn! reader. intended for sapphic audiences. not established relationship. fwb at the start.

Kinktober 2024 Day 7: Corruption (kafka)

she was just supposed to be your friend with benefits, how did it turn out this way? you were so innocent too, just needing a release for your desires. luckily, kafka was the one who agreed to do that for you. it wasnโ€™t like you didnโ€™t have darker desires, but you couldnโ€™t just share those out of the blue for fear of losing her. even if she wasnโ€™t your girlfriend, you still cared for her deeply.

it was almost like you were in a trance whenever she was on top of you, wanting nothing but her. those lightless eyes of hers made you want to please her for hours and hours, just to be her little toy. the day she decides to keep you for her own is secretly the happiest day of your life, waking up naked in her bed and ready to be her perfect little stress relief. keeping her fingers warm with your wet little pussy made you almost unnecessarily happy.

her fingers were slender and long, prodding at that spot that made you see stars with every thrust of them in you. kafka absolutely adores watching you come undone on her fingers while she praises you for being her perfect toy to play with whenever she wants. it had gotten to the point where it was all you thought of, just needing her on top of you and using you constantly.


Tags
Pairing: Kafka X Afab!reader

Pairing: Kafka x Afab!reader

Warnings: NSFW, use of strap, strap is referred to as cock,

Authorโ€™s Note: Repost

Minors DNI! | NSFW! under the cut

โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ

She always did enjoy getting a reaction out of you. The sweet noises that escape your lips has Kafka wanting to bend you in half. She kept a slow but strong pace, taking note of each cry of pleasure that left your lips. It made her chuckle when she saw the fat tears welling in your eyes, ready to streak down on your face. Your makeup has long since been ruined after Kafka had you eat her out earlier.

โ€œMy sweet girl, taking me so well.โ€ She purrs against your ear as she slowly guides you to your first orgasm of the night. Kafkaโ€™s gone for months at a time. You cherish the moments you have her in your bed as much as she does. Not seeing your beloved has led to many lustful sessions, both of you want nothing more than to feel every inch of each otherโ€™s bodies.

This time though, it's a little different. Kafka wasnโ€™t rushing through things, deciding to go slow and sensual with each and every one of her actions. Fucking you gently while pressing sweet kisses on your neck, you can feel how she smiles against your skin. Holding you close, arms wrapped around your legs, her hips donโ€™t stop their rhythm.

With each thrust of her hips, her eyes never once left your face. She watches as the silicon toy pounds into your pussy. Your body trembles under her ministrations, arching your body up towards her as the room echoes with the sound of your skin slapping against one another. Every movement drove the toy deeper into you in the repeated cycle of feeling empty and then full how she pulled away leaving only the tip before pushing the entire length back insideโ€” letting the toy kiss your cervix every time.

The small choked gasps bubbling in the back of your throat. The way your stomach tenses and relaxes was a sign Kafka recognized immediately. Rolling her hips against yours, you cling around her neck, pulling her down into a messy kiss that Kafka moaned into continuing her thrusting without fail. You felt each drag against your walls as she tightened her grip on your hips.

โ€œMโ€™mm closeโ€ฆโ€ You cried out between breaths. Every inch of your body shakes as you felt her cock pound into you, slowly picking up the pace when she hears the breath hitch in your throat. Kafka continued her relentless assault, dragging each stroke as your pussy starts clamping down on the toy.

Her hands snake around your thighs teasingly before lifting you so she can set them on her shoulders. You shutter as she hits that perfect spot in your core again and again until your cries surpass the sound of your hips fucking.

You donโ€™t realize youโ€™re crying until Kafka kisses away your tears. She hums in satisfaction as she goes rougher, slamming her hips. The creamy ring forming around the base of the strap had her getting worked up with desire. Getting to see your fucked out expression has her nails dig into the plush skin of your thighs.

โ€œGo ahead, baby girl. Cum for me.โ€ Kafka drawls out. Your teary eyes close shut as the pleasure rushes through you. She practically bends you in halfโ€” your legs reaching your ears as Kafka goes impossibly deep. You throw your head back with a loud moan of Kafkaโ€™s name, cumming as she toys with your puffy bud as you writhe in her hold.

โ€œAtta girlโ€ฆโ€ She coos down at you. Kafka draws out the waves of pleasure for as long as possible. As much as she loves ruining you, she loved taking you so gently like this.

Your orgasm felt so long and intenseโ€” it felt like an eternity as you shake in her hold. Gradually, her hips slow, staying nestled in your sensitive folds, kissing your spent body with all the love and affection you deserve.

Her eyes focus on the messy sight below her as she slowly pulls out, leaving your pussy gaping and empty. You whine out at the feeling, and Kafka lets out a pleased hum as you catch your breath. Shaky and tired, your body quivers while she plants more kisses against your sweaty form. โ€œYou donโ€™t need to do a thing.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ll be here when you wake up in the morning, just rest up and get some sleep.โ€ She adds while removing the harness and you can hear the soft thud of the toy landing on the floor before Kafka climes into the bed with you once again. Your eyelids grow heavy when her lithe hands wrap around your torso as your body is overcome with exhaustion from the intensity.


Tags

OH MYGOD

wasted with longing

You and Kafka have a simple, superficial relationship that benefits you both. You should have known that nothing is ever simple when sheโ€™s involved.

friends with benefits, smut, afab!reader, gp!kafka, vaginal penetration, blowjob, dom!kafka, 4.5k words

A/N: fuckboy kafka is real and we should all be runningโ€ฆ towards her๐Ÿคฃ this will be a series! iโ€™ll fine tune it when i wake up but this is for my very excited anons and mutuals <3

part two

this is the collective playlist, iโ€™m still adding songs as i go: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4fNHJsbeJLC49Fa8ACVOwW?si=pgaCSUzVTgmXZ8OuQJWLKA&pi=u-9uwba0QiQlWH

Wasted With Longing

You push open the door to your apartment with a tired sigh and step inside. Freeing your feet from the new boots you bought days before feels heavenly, youโ€™re still breaking them in and the process is almost torturous, often leaving you sore by the evening. You put on the slippers you discarded that morning as you shrug off your jacket, placing it back into the tiny closet near the front door. The lights are off but you donโ€™t bother turning them on, instead, you make a beeline for your bedroom and flick that switch on. Itโ€™s late, around 11 PM, and youโ€™re itching for a shower before collapsing into bed after spending the afternoon on your feet. You open the window a crack to let the breeze in, seeing as the summer nights tend to leave you sweating. You discard some of your clothing on the way to the bathroom, holding onto them to throw them in the laundry basket next to the sink. Standing in your underwear, you turn on the shower and adjust its settings to room temperature before removing your clothes. Youโ€™re grateful for the peaceful moment when you step into the shower, simply letting the water hit your face and soak your body.

Today was particularly challenging; your boss was a jerk your whole shift, more demanding than usual, and youโ€™d promised some friends that you would go out with them after work even though you just wanted to be home by then. Forcing yourself to socialize is mentally taxing and often leaves you with a headache at the end of the night, too. Under the refreshing water, you feel the knots of your muscles loosen slowly as if smoothed out by warm, gentle hands. Your head tilts towards the shower head. For a few minutes, you wash away the weight of the day, focusing on the pitter-patter in your ears deafening you to all but your thoughts. An impulsive one passes by, meant to be fleeting but it solidifies in your head until you canโ€™t help but entertain the idea.

You wonder what Kafka is doing, if sheโ€™d come running if you called the way she often does once the sun sets. Sheโ€™s been busy lately, you think; you havenโ€™t heard from her in around two weeks and youโ€™ve been too preoccupied with work to bother checking on her. You donโ€™t know what she does for a living, only that your palms brush against new cuts across her skin every once in a while. The acknowledgment of their presence goes unsaid like many other things, locked in a messy closet to which you both hold the key yet refuse to organize. Still, sheโ€™s skilled in the ways of your body and works you out like no one else can, so you ignore a lot about her to prioritize how relaxed you feel after a couple of hours with her. Some parts of you, your heart and fingertips, twitch to understand her absences and inconsistencies. You try not to dwell on that confusing desire for too long lest you come to a conclusion you donโ€™t like. Kafkaโ€™s enigmatic, sheโ€™s mysterious and rehearsed as to always keep the upper hand in whatever war sheโ€™s implicated in like the world is an open minefield and she canโ€™t afford a single misstep. Every semblance of genuine conversation about her turns into a game she has to win and youโ€™re getting tired of playing along. Howeverโ€ฆ you have to admit that you could use the distraction tonight.

The thought doesnโ€™t leave you as you finish washing yourself and step out of the shower with a clean towel around your frame. You look for your phone once in the bedroom, picking it up from where it was discarded on your dresser, then sit at the edge of your bed. It takes a bit of scrolling through your recent conversations to find Kafkaโ€™s contact. You refrain yourself from rolling your eyes at the last texts youโ€™ve exchanged. She canโ€™t be relied on for your impromptu needs and you wish the opposite was true as well, but youโ€™ve learned to make yourself available whenever she seeks you out. Itโ€™s pathetic, you tell yourself, even as your thumbs hover over the screenโ€™s keyboard. You recline on the mattress with a sigh and hold your phone above you, wondering if you should do this. Itโ€™s late, and though thatโ€™s usually when you see each other, Kafka has the habit of not replying until hours later. Itโ€™s irritating, especially when you scroll up to her last messages and notice how quickly you always answer them. You toss your phone on the bed and cover your face with your hands. You swallow a scream.

โ€œEmbarrassing, embarrassing,โ€ you mutter to yourself, โ€œno dignity at all.โ€

As you question your life choices and consider blocking Kafkaโ€™s number to make yourself feel more in control than you are, your phone buzzes with a notification. You turn on your stomach to pick it up, tapping open the screen.

Wasted With Longing

You stare at the most recent text for almost a full minute before closing the device and sitting up straight. The coincidence of her messaging you while youโ€™re debating whether you should text her first leaves you reeling for a moment. You hesitate, fiddling with the phone in your hands. You want to leave her waiting like she often does to you, butโ€ฆ Excitement creeps up your spine at the thought of seeing her. This is what you wanted, isnโ€™t it? Why not take what you need from her and send her on her way? This is what sheโ€™s good for, itโ€™s how she regards you as well, so you give in to your impulses and craft the perfect text. Kafkaโ€™s reply comes almost instantly.

Wasted With Longing

You canโ€™t deny the flutter in your gut but you sure as hell can ignore it.

You make sure to be ready before Kafka comes knocking at your door. You lather yourself with your favourite lotion before pulling a tank top over your head and putting on pyjama shorts. You clean up around your apartment even if she never lingers long enough to get a good look at it, picking up dirty laundry and clearing the dishes. You donโ€™t see the minutes tick by as you do your best to seem presentable. You check your teeth in the bathroom mirror, decide to brush them because you donโ€™t have any mint, then tap your cheeks a couple of times, tilting your chin this way and that. Youโ€™re looking at your nails, wondering if you should clip them since theyโ€™re getting a bit long, when the doorbell rings.

You take measured steps towards the front door so as not to look too eager and shake your head at your antics. You turn the handle, revealing Kafkaโ€™s nonchalant expression on the other side of the door. She smiles at the sight of you, clad in her usual tight clothes and custom-made coat, and you have to suppress one from betraying your thoughts as you take her in. She does the same to you, gaze appreciatively raking over your figure before she even greets you. She still has makeup on, hiding the fatigue you know rests under her eyes, and sheโ€™s holding on to her pair of gloves instead of wearing them. You think she probably wrapped up whatever it is that she does and came to your apartment right afterwards.

You open the door wider and step to the side so she can come in. โ€œYou look tired.โ€

Kafka walks in and closes the door behind her with a foot. Her smile widens a touch, a self-assured edge to it. Her head tiltsโ€” you watch the loose strands of hair follow the movementโ€” and her eyes drop to your chest for a deliberate second then lift to meet yours. โ€œYou look beautiful as ever.โ€

You donโ€™t hide the annoyed roll of your eyes. You turn your back on her to lead her further into the apartment. She follows, slipping off her coat from her shoulders and discarding it on a sofa in the living room.

โ€œYou got rid of the painting?โ€

You look at where she stopped in front of the couch. She points to the far wall with her chin as she lays her gloves on top of her coat. You stand, dumbfounded. You used to have an abstract painting hung on that wall but stored it to install a TV instead. Youโ€™re mostly surprised she noticed; her lips are usually on yours instants after sheโ€™s stepped through the door.

โ€œItโ€™s here somewhere,โ€ you gesture vaguely to the room.

โ€œMmโ€ฆ This coffee tableโ€™s different, too.โ€

โ€œYou broke the glass of the other one the last time you were here.โ€

Something in the way she glances at you, a cocky glint in her eyes, tells you she remembers.

โ€œRight. What was it you said that nightโ€” โ€˜Donโ€™t you dare stop?โ€™โ€

You know Kafka revels in the flash of irritation that creases the bridge of your nose.

โ€œI donโ€™t remember that.โ€

โ€œNo?โ€

She makes her way to you, fingertips trailing on the back of the couch and amusement shining through her contacts, dusty pink swallowing the lilac at their edges, reminding you of carefully plucked calla lilies. Her slender fingers cup your jaw to tilt your chin, the nail of her index sliding across your skin, and you meet her stare with practiced ease. You hate how easily the anticipation of her touch heats the embers in your belly and you canโ€™t stand knowing that sheโ€™s aware of her effect on you. Kafka brings you closer until all you care to see is the lustful, rosy shades of her irises. Her gaze lowers to the curves of your mouth.

โ€œNeed a reminder?โ€ Her murmur is felt on your lips like the warm, inviting breeze wafting through the open windows.

You hook a finger under the waistband of her shorts and tug her forward. โ€œGuess so.โ€

Her low chuckle is cut off by the kiss you plant on her lips. Kafka indulges your control over her, lets you back her up against the wall and pull her close with a hand around her neck. Her arm snakes around your waist, your body pressed to hers. She tastes sweet, like a sugary drink or a juicy fruit, and your tongue slips into her mouth to taste her fully. She welcomes it readily and allows it to swirl around hers before you feel her fingers curl around your throat. The pace shifts, hungry and hurried, as she effortlessly takes over the kiss, momentarily taking your breath away. Youโ€™re forced to follow her lead and exhale through your nose when she doesnโ€™t release you. The hand on the back of her neck travels down her collarbone, pulling on the leather strap of her outfit so it slaps against her once you let go, and the hum that sounds from her throat softens your bones until youโ€™re putty in her hands. Her shirt crumples in your grip while your fingertips tease the buttons of her shorts. Your world is reduced to the soft caress of her tongue in your mouth and the growing bulge beneath your palm.

Her hold on your neck relaxes slightly and you pull away enough to regulate your breathing. You stroke her over her clothes, drawing a sharp intake of breath from her. A pleased smile makes its way onto your face and your eyes blink open to stare at her swollen, peach lips.

โ€œSomeoneโ€™s happy to see me.โ€

Kafka traces the hollow of your throat with a rounded nail, smiling amusedly at your teasing tone. โ€œMmm.โ€

โ€œTwo weeks and a little kiss gets you worked up?โ€

โ€œWere you counting?โ€

โ€œPlease. Youโ€™d love that, wouldnโ€™t you?โ€ You unclasp the buttons of her shorts and pull them down her waist to reveal the band of her pantyhose, toying with it and sighing in faux exasperation. โ€œI suppose I could help.โ€

โ€œYeah?โ€

Kafka stares at you, anticipation in the way her lips unconsciously part, and you retain her lustful gaze as you withdraw from her body to put your hair up using the hair tie on your wrist. You raise a playful eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corner of your mouth, and her eyes narrow a touch at your cockiness. She doesnโ€™t say a word, though, simply watches you lower yourself to your knees with that smile that says sheโ€™ll wipe that expression off your face soon enough. You start with her thigh-high boot, zipping it down to get it out of the way, then grip the edges of both her pantyhose and shorts to slide them off the rest of the way at once. Her layers annoy you on nights when your need is greater than your patience, but you enjoy teasing her like this; testing the elasticity of her boxersโ€™ waistband, running the pads of your fingers over the thin fabric and along the thick of her bulge, pressing leisure, open-mouthed kisses on the soft flesh of her inner thighs. Kafka is a patient woman, her hand tangles in your hair but doesnโ€™t pull. Her heavy stare makes you feel powerful despite being the one on your knees, she either doesnโ€™t bother to hide her desire or she canโ€™tโ€” regardless, youโ€™re her only way towards sweet release and she has no choice but to grant your petty wishes.

Your lips trace the outline of her length over her underwear. One hand cups her between her legs while the other kneads her plush thigh. You delight in the little hums Kafka doesnโ€™t care to contain as you pepper kisses on her clothed cock, a thumb gently massaging her balls until you feel her twitch under your lips. Still, she doesnโ€™t tell you to hurry along or pressure you in any way. Knowing that her cool demeanor is an act fuels the satisfaction in your gut. You pull at her boxers and free her hard cock, refraining from biting your lip at the sight of its prominent vein. You follow its pattern with your mouth and use a hand to curl around her base, eyes fluttering shut. Youโ€™ve done this so often, licked long stripes up to her tip and stroked her sensitive skin with teasing touches, that the feel of her against you is engraved in your gray matter. Your tongue swirls around her leaking tip to collect her pre-cum before taking her into your mouth. Kafka is so big you have to use your fingers to stroke what canโ€™t fit past your lips. The weight of her cock on your tongue makes you so incredibly wet, you feel arousal trickling down your inner thigh. Her hips buck forward and her hand caresses your hair in a manner so fond youโ€™d mistake her lust for care if you didnโ€™t know any better. You work her up with quiet, muffled moans around her dick and she guides you down her length with one hand, unable to tear her eyes from your pretty face as you suck her off. You take as much of her as you can, feel the head brushing the back of your throat every few thrusts of her hips, and revel in the short, throaty moans spilling from Kafkaโ€™s lips.

โ€œMmhhโ€ฆ How pretty you look with your mouth full,โ€ she manages to tease you in between low gasps, smugness dripping from her words. You give her sensitive tip a particularly harsh suck and bask in the uncontrolled jerk of her hips.

You look up at the crease between her brows and the rapid rise of her chest, her audible pants intoxicating you. With her head tilted to gaze down at you, strands of magenta hang in the air like threads of silk. You squeeze her base once to draw a longer moan from her. The taste of her bypasses your every thought, and you can only focus on her throbbing, wet cock filling your mouth. You stroke her with the same hungry pace, occasionally squeezing your thighs together to appease the heat between your legs. Sheโ€™s so hard, so needy, you canโ€™t help the indignant whine that escapes you when her fingers grip your hair and pull you away from her dick. A thin string of saliva connects her head to your tongue and breaks with the distance, falling onto your chin.

โ€œDonโ€™t pout, youโ€™ll get your fill,โ€ Kafka smiles despite her heavy breathing, urging you to stand with her hold on your head, โ€œIโ€™ll make sure of it.โ€

A tinge of irritation surges in your bloodstream at the cocky edge of her tone and the way your pussy aches for her touch. Her nose brushes yours once youโ€™re on your feet, warm breath fanning over your lips. You hate that you want her, that your body responds to her by melting into hers as she steals the air in your lungs with a single heady kiss. You hate the way your thighs part almost immediately to allow her wandering hand better access to your cunt. You hate the amused chuckle that leaves her when she realizes youโ€™re not wearing any underwear and rubs between your slit with a finger. And yet, you only get wetter under her ministrations, brows twisting with the pleasure sheโ€™s giving you. Her digit withdraws from your slick pussy, glimmering with your arousal, and Kafka stares at you with lidded eyes as she brings it to her lips to suck it clean. The wet sound of her mouth sends a jolt straight to your core. You need her to fuck you so badly, you can barely think before grasping the leather strap under her collarbones to pull her forward.

Your lips meet in a messy, heated kiss, her salty taste on your tongue and your slick on hers. You stumble down the hallway, losing pieces of clothing along the way, until you reach the bedroom and Kafka firmly pushes you down onto the bed with a hand on your bare chest. Her mouth is locked with yours and you feel her touch on your hips, across your waist, over your ribcage where your heart drums for her. Her thumb applies pressure on your erect nipple, drawing a needy sigh from you. You sneak around her chest to unclasp her bra and she assists you in sliding it off her arms to discard it on the floor. Her cock presses against your thigh while she teases your nipple between two fingers. You know youโ€™re ruining the sheets beneath you but you canโ€™t bring yourself to care; you get more desperate with every minute sheโ€™s not buried inside you, unable to contain the quiet whimpers that escape you.

โ€œKafkaโ€ฆโ€ you breathe out in a whine, aware of how much it turns her on to hear her name out your lips. Her cock throbs on your thigh at the sound.

She plants kisses down your jaw and pinches your nipple a couple of times, the feeling delicious yet not enough. Her hum rumbles through her chest, โ€œMmmโ€ฆ Pleading already?โ€

Aeons, sheโ€™s infuriating. You wrap a leg around her waist and her length rests on your slit, but you bite the flesh of your cheek to keep in a breathy moan, not wanting to inflate her ego more than it already is. Kafka reaches down to rub her tip between your lower lips, almost groaning as your slick mixes with the saliva from your tongue. Your lungs stutter and you suck in a breath, nails digging into the expanse of her back. Her head grazes your aching clit, you arch further into her to repeat the action. It feels so good you forget all about who youโ€™re dealing with until she speaks up again.

Kafkaโ€™s licks a broad stripe up your neck, then her mouth brushes the skin of your jaw on its way to your earlobe, pressing a kiss just below.

โ€œYouโ€™re drippingโ€ฆโ€ Though her voice is close to your eardrums, you barely register the words she utters, lost in the pleasure of your clit sliding against the thick of her cock. โ€œHow much do you want this, mm?โ€

Thereโ€™s a lick on the cartilage of your ear before she pulls away to look at you through the dull pink of her irises, eyelids heavy. The movement of her dick on your pussy comes to halt and it takes you losing that relieving friction to understand that she expects an answer.

โ€œW-What?โ€

โ€œDid you miss me this much?โ€

Your heel digs into her lower back to pull her closer, but her lips simply stretch into a knowing, teasing smile. She presses her tip against your twitching clit once, delighting in the flutter of her eyelashes and the beginnings of a needy moan that you refuse to let her hear.

โ€œDonโ€™t flatter yourself,โ€ you reply, but even you have to admit that your sentence lacks conviction or venom.

โ€œMmโ€ฆโ€ Kafka guides the tip of her cock to your gushing entrance and your next inhale gets caught in your throat. โ€œIs it flattery if itโ€™s true?โ€

โ€œYou wโ€” Hahโ€”!โ€

She pushes the head inside you, feeling you clench instinctively at the intrusion, and lets out a sigh of pleasure as your warm, tight cunt welcomes her cock. She watches a quiver go through your bottom lip and briefly bites her own. One hand digs into the plush of your love handle, the other sinks into the bedsheets next to your head. She slides another inch into you and your fingers tangle in her locks, tugging at the sensation of her length inside you, stretching you so well a breathless gasp spills from your mouth. Her smile is smug, pleased at your silence, and you swallow as you muster the strength to speak. Kafka leans closer, the tip of her nose against your cheek and her breath warming your skin. Slowly, she bottoms out completely and gives you a moment to adjust to the fullness. Something in the way her pants falter occasionally tells you that she needs that pause too. Her lips are on your jaw in a kiss way too soft, too gentle to be from her; her who means nothing to you aside from the pleasure she provides you.

โ€œI missed you.โ€

You feel a buzzing sensation in your lower belly that has nothing to do with her cock nestled in your cunt. The words are murmured like a confession but you know they arenโ€™t one, Kafka means to provoke you so that she can put you in your place, a game youโ€™ve played since the day you met. You canโ€™t explain why itโ€™s as if your heartstrings are plucked and manipulated like those of an instrument, its melody disorganized and disharmonious. You donโ€™t understand the sudden irritation that mixes with your arousal, sending a shiver down your spine.

You tug at her hair and her head follows the movement backwards, lips parting.

โ€œI hate you,โ€ you manage to utter through gritted teeth, and youโ€™re frustrated to find that thereโ€™s no truth in what youโ€™ve said.

Kafkaโ€™s growing grin turns mocking. โ€œAww. But youโ€™re sucking me inโ€ฆโ€

To prove her point, she withdraws from you just to thrust back in, her tip hitting that sensitive spot inside you. Her length rubs your walls with every thrust of her hips, rendering you speechless aside from the quiet whimpers that fall from your tongue, and your anger fades away, replaced by the desperate need to come. Your fingers messily swipe at your clit and your nails paint crescent moons on her back from how tightly youโ€™re holding on to her body. Despite her own need, Kafka is determined to pull more lovely sounds from you. Her pace is tantalizingly slow but harsh in the way you prefer as she fills you to the brim. You feel her all around you, her lips on your jaw, the pads of her fingers sinking into your flesh, her cock buried deep inside your fluttering cunt. Her low moans and short groans hit your ears in sinful sounds that only make you wetter. Her breasts are flushed to yours, following the rocking of her hips.

โ€œFuck, fuckโ€”โ€œ you babble breathily, lost in the pleasure, โ€œmoreโ€ฆโ€

You donโ€™t register Kafka manhandling you with an arm around your waist so that youโ€™re straddling her lap instead, only that the change in position allows her to drive deeper into you. You moan brokenly as she grabs your hips and guides you down onto her cock in one go. Your thighs tremble, aching, and your orgasm is imminent. Kafka groans into your shoulder, bouncing you on her dick, the taut coil in her belly begging to snap. Your slick trickles down her length and your wet pussy swallows her cock, you clench around her like you dread sheโ€™ll pull out before you can come. She uses a palm to apply pressure on your lower stomach, feeling the faint outline of her bulge inside you, and the sensation pushes you over the edge. You cream on her cock with a cry. Your head tilts back and Kafka leans away from your shoulder to gaze at your cum drenching her girth. She knows how sensitive you get after an orgasm, can feel you twitch against her with the aftershocks, but she canโ€™t help jerking her hips upwards to fuck your cum back into your pussy. She wants to see her own cum merge with yours until youโ€™re so full of her that youโ€™re gushing.

โ€œKafkaโ€”!โ€ You gasp out, fingers gripping her loose ponytail, โ€œW-Waitโ€ฆโ€

She shushes you with an insistent kiss. Sheโ€™s close, guiding your hips up and down her throbbing cock. With a particularly harsh thrust, that familiar coil in her stomach finally breaks and her cum spills into you in hot, intense spurts against your inner walls. Itโ€™s too much for you to handle even as her thrusts stutter, yet a second orgasm builds inside you, quick and desperate; your body moves on its own accord, further stimulating you and drawing a long, drawn out moan out of you. Kafkaโ€™s lips are parted and you miss the sheen in her eyes as she stares up at you unashamedly riding her until you come around her dick a second time.

Youโ€™re both coming down from your high some time later, your eyes are shut and the pace of your rising chest slows down enough for you to take deep breaths. Kafka is a comforting presence beside you on the bed, and like you do with many things, you ignore the warmth that is born from your chest and spreads across your torso. A welcomed kind of exhaustion creeps up on you, almost pulling you into a dream, but you hear Kafka move next to you so you turn your head to look at her. Sheโ€™s fixing her hair, putting back locks of magenta into her ponytail. She feels your gaze on her and meets your eyes with a small smile. Thereโ€™s that twitch of your heart and fingertips again at the sight of the soft glow of her sweaty skin under your bedroom lights.

โ€œYou look exhausted,โ€ her tone lacks its usual teasing edge but youโ€™re too tired to notice, โ€œIโ€™ll use the shower and lock behind me with the spare key. You should sleep. Iโ€™ll message you tomorrow.โ€

You donโ€™t say anything to that. You stare at the ceiling as the shower is turned on in the background.

Kafka doesnโ€™t text the next day.


Tags
8 months ago

if you do pet play , can i request a subtop boothill with dombottom reader? if you dont its okay without petplay too

๐–๐‡๐€๐“ ๐€ ๐ƒ๐”๐Œ๐ ๐Œ๐”๐“๐“ boothill x m!reader โ€” 1.2k words, not proofread, minors do not interact

TO NOTE: pet play, subtop boothill / dombottom reader, use of a muzzle & leash, boothill being a whiny lil guy, degradation kink (boothill), boothill is a masochist lol, slight choking, master kink (idk what that's called), lmk if i missed any :3

KAI SAYS: hi gang sorry for dying lmao my sister is giving birth in a few months and me and my family have been stressing trying to get everything ready lmao.

If You Do Pet Play , Can I Request A Subtop Boothill With Dombottom Reader? If You Dont Its Okay Without

Boothill very much valued his dignity. In fact โ€” despite his usually... brash nature, he liked to think he never purposefully embarrassed himself โ€” so, to be found in this position, well, it very much took all of his dignity.

But alas, he liked to think it was worth it, especially with the way you were looking at him. It looked like youโ€™re going to fucking eat him up โ€” which he certainly wouldnโ€™t be opposed to, which is why he practically begged you for it, nuzzling his face against your leg, drool spilling from the corners of his lips as he pants heavily.

โ€œPlease.โ€ He whined. He couldnโ€™t exactly do anything with the position he was in โ€” his hands tied behind his back and a muzzle covering his mouth as his sharp teeth chewed at his bottom lip to restrain the moans that would probably be spilling from them. Boothill was kneeling down, fully naked and right infront of the bed that you were sat on the edge of, legs spread and the end of his leash in hand.

You tugged it quickly, a demeaning grin on your lips as you stared down at the cyborg. โ€œNow,โ€ you cooed in such a sickeningly sweet voice that makes Boothill melt even further into your warmth, โ€œwhat did I say, my pet?โ€

โ€œSaid...โ€ He muttered, โ€œsaid if I was a โ€˜good fudginโ€™ muttโ€™ youโ€™d reward me.โ€ His head dropped to rest on your knee, the drool dripping down his chin and onto your skin.

You let out a small โ€œtskโ€ before you pulled his head up by his black and white hair. โ€œBut all youโ€™ve been is a stupid mutt, no?โ€ You scoffed, letting go of him to give a quick slap to his cheek. โ€œNow stop drooling over me and actually do something, you dumb mutt.โ€

You backed away from Boothill, scooting to sit up against the pillows at the back of the bed. You pulled him along by the leash around his neck, Boothill eagerly following you like the precious dog he was. He sat on his knees infront of you, all eager and ready to please.

โ€œWell?โ€ You questioned. โ€œGet to it.โ€ You spread your legs, exposing your tight hole to him.

Boothill barked out an eager โ€œYes master!โ€ before scooting up to you, throwing your calves over his shoulders to give him full access to one of his favourite things about you.

Your pretty ass โ€” all of it on full display for him. He couldnโ€™t help his drooling, really, how was he supposed to when you looked so... delectable?

He tapped his leaking tip against your puckered hole, just enjoying the feeling of being close to you after so long. Boothill ignored the urge to plunge right into you then and there, knowing full well youโ€™d punish him for ever doing such a thing.

Instead, he slowly eased into you โ€” only to stop halfway in when you tugged harshly at his leash, forcing his muzzle into your cheek.

โ€œDid I tell you to put it in?โ€ You snapped.

Boothill shook his head frantically. โ€œN-No, master.โ€ He grunted out, voice hoarse.

โ€œThen whyโ€™d you put it in, hm?โ€ You questioned. Your hand grabbed at his muzzle, pushing his face away. โ€œWell, your already halfway in, mutt, you might as well finish.

Boothill nodded, continuing his slow push into your twitchy hole.

Only when he was all the way in, his balls pressed against your ass, did he look up at you with an eager gaze, eyes wide and pleasing. โ€œI โ€” master, please let me move.โ€ He grunted out in that low voice of his.

โ€œHm...โ€ You mused, feigning indifference as you tapped a finger against your bottom lip. โ€œFine.โ€ Boothill felt a relieved sigh escape his lips, his hands going to your hips. โ€œBut,โ€ you continued suddenly, โ€œif you mess this up...โ€œ You pulled on his leash harshly, watching in amusement as a choked sound left Boothillโ€™s lips as his neck was tugged forward harshly. โ€œYou will be punished accordingly, so do a good job, ok?โ€

Your hand went to his cheek, gently cupping it โ€” such a harsh contrast to how you had choked him earlier. Admittedly, Boothill had enjoyed it, but he didnโ€™t have the time to tell you because in that next moment he was pulling his hips back before snapping them right back into you.

A loud, hoarse moan left his lips as he thrusted into you with a messy pace, drool slipping through the bars of his muzzle. โ€œO-Oh, fudginโ€™ โ€” master, shit, ya feel soโ€”โ€ He couldnโ€™t finish that sentence, only thrusting into you feverishly as heaved breaths left his parted lips.

โ€œI know, I know,โ€ you smirked, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing the firm muscle gently. โ€œYouโ€™re doing so good for me, puppy, keep this up and I might let you cum inside me tonight.โ€

Inside.

Inside.

The word rang loudly in Boothillโ€™s head as he looked up at you with a desperate gaze. โ€œPlease.โ€ He whined, โ€œPleaseโ€” Iโ€™ll do anything!โ€

โ€œOh, I know you will, puppy,โ€ you cooed. โ€œWhich is why youโ€™re going to make me cum twice first before you do, got it?โ€ You geave a gentle tug to his leash for extra effect.

โ€œY-Yes, master,โ€ he whimpered, โ€œanything for you.โ€

With that, he was quickening his pace, occasionally changing the slight angle of his hips โ€” desperately trying to find that sweet spot inside you. He was working for this. His pelvis met your ass, a lewd โ€˜plap plap plapโ€™ echoing throughout the empty room, interrupted by only your heavy breathing and Boothillโ€™s loud moans untilโ€”

You cried out, your back arching and your nails digging into the cyborgโ€™s shoulders. โ€œFuckingโ€” right there, puppy.โ€ You growled and he whined at the squeeze around his dick. He continued to aim for that certain spot inside you, letting out a loud, pleased moan whenever he felt the tight clench of you whenever he hit it just right.

It wasnโ€™t long until you were cumming, your chest pushed against his as you squirted a load between your bodies, panting heavily.

Boothill didnโ€™t stop, to your obvious pleasure. He kept thrusting, hitting that sweet spot over and over agains until the both of you were nothing but weak, panting messes against the bedsheets.

Aeons โ€” Boothill felt like his dick wouldโ€™ve exploded if he didnโ€™t cum.

But he couldnโ€™t, so he didnโ€™t, reducing himself to nothing but a crying mess as he pressed his nuzzled face against your cheek. โ€œP-Please...โ€ He whined pathetically. โ€œI โ€” Please take it off, wanna kiss you so bad.โ€

โ€œA-Aw, puppy wants a kiss?โ€ You questioned. Your hands shakilly pulled the muzzle off his face and the instant it was off he was pressing Boothill was pressing his lips into yours.

The kiss was sloppy and wet โ€” filled with a mix of his tears and drool as his tongue pressed into your mouth gliding over yours. Thatโ€™s what sent you over the edge for the second time, cumming all over the two of your guysโ€™ chest with a muffled moan.

He pulled back instantly, gasping and heaving at the tightness of your hole. โ€œP-Please, can Iโ€”โ€

โ€œYou may.โ€

And then Boothill was cumming, hard. You felt a thick load fill your insides and Boothill collapsed into you, whining and crying and panting heavily.

โ€œGood boy,โ€ you cooed, and Boothill smiled against your neck lovingly.

Oh, how Boothill adored when you called him a good boy.

If You Do Pet Play , Can I Request A Subtop Boothill With Dombottom Reader? If You Dont Its Okay Without

๐“๐€๐†๐‹๐ˆ๐’๐“: @helloanime @kiekole (send ask without anon to be added)

ยฉ KISSENTURINE. do not translate, plagiarize, edit, or repost


Tags
10 months ago

boothill,, gunplay. thats the thought,, if ur comfortable writing that ofc ofc

๐‹๐Ž๐‚๐Š๐„๐ƒ ๐€๐๐ƒ ๐‹๐Ž๐€๐ƒ๐„๐ƒ boothill x m!reader โ€” 1.4k words, not proofread, minors do not interact

TO NOTE: gun play, slight chocking, boothill puts his gun in reader's mouth, boothill kind of bends reader over, boothill also makes reader jerk off, uh boothill kinda mean-ish, he pretends to shoot reader, aftercare is not written but it is given! lmk if i missed anyy :3

KAI SAYS: hello guys,, shorter than usual bc ive landed myself in the er due to multiple reasons haha (chronic hives, low blood pressure, fainting spells, dehydration, etc) and i miiight not be able to post until like next weekend maybe (?) so so soso sorry for the inconvenience aaargh, writing this in the hospital too... not dying tho everything super minor so!!

Boothill,, Gunplay. Thats The Thought,, If Ur Comfortable Writing That Ofc Ofc

The first time you ever saw Boothill pull a gun was at a training centre. He said something about wanting to work on his aim, and so he decided to head there, late at night. No one else was thereโ€”just the two of you.

Boothill pulls out his gun, flicking a few bullets into the spinning revolver with practiced ease before he pulls the trigger. A loud โ€˜bangโ€™ fills the room, followed by the sound of his metal bullets clinking to the floor after the shot.

โ€œWell color me stoked.โ€ Boothill grins, showing off his sharp teeth. โ€œSeems I ainโ€™t that bad after all!โ€

โ€œWell, you were always good with guns, anyway.โ€ You respond, returning Boothillโ€™s grin with a smile of your own. He was indeed good with guns, and it was undoubtedly attractive.

Boothillโ€™s hands spin the revolver, watching the metal clink. It was much too fast for you to see, so you didnโ€™t know which one ended up landing. Boothill is quick to draw his gun again, smirking as he pointed it at youโ€”straight into your chest.

โ€œBoothill?โ€ You question. โ€œWhat are youโ€”โ€

You are cut off by the loud sound of his gun shooting. Your eyes shut and you winced instinctively, your body tensing up for the bullet that was about to hit your skin.

โ€ฆYet it never happened.ย 

Cracking one eye open, you peer at Boothill cautiously, only to find him gripping his metal abs, a roaring laugh rolling from his lips. โ€œOh, darlinโ€™ you know Iโ€™d never shoot ya!โ€ He laughs again, though this time it was softer. โ€œCโ€™mon, love, Iโ€™d never hurt ya.โ€ He murmurs sweetly as he makes his way closer to you, his gun still in hand.

He presses the muzzle playfully against your chest, trailing it up and down your abdomen. Boothillโ€™s smirk only widened as he slipped his gunโ€”along with the hand holding itโ€”under your shirt. He presses the muzzle right against your nipple, watching you shiver at the cool metal.

โ€œBoothill.โ€ You whisper firmly. โ€œWhatโ€™re you doing?โ€

He says nothing, only continuing to drag his gun against your skin, sending shivers of delight across your body.

Eventually, his gun finds its way to the hem of your pants. Boothill gives you a wicked smile before he uses his free hand to yank down your pants and boxers, exposing your half-hard cock. โ€œWell, ainโ€™t that a pretty sight.โ€ He cooes, letting the muzzle of his gun rest against your tip.

โ€œJerk it for me, pretty boy.โ€ Boothill says. You blink up at him, confusion filling your face.

โ€œHuhโ€ฆ?โ€ You question.

โ€œI said.โ€ Boothill groans, pressing the muzzle of his gun harder into your tip. โ€œJerk it for me, or else Iโ€™m gonna be shootinโ€™ this pretty lilโ€™ dick oโ€™ yours.โ€ Boothill wouldnโ€™t really. You knew that. He said it himself. And yetโ€ฆ the fear that he would is still there, forcing small tears to well in your pretty eyes as you looked up at him desperately.

โ€œO-Okay.โ€ You comply, wrapping your hand around your shaft as you slowly start to glide your closed fist up and down.

โ€œGood boy.โ€ Boothill praises, and his voice makes your dick twitch against his gun.

You move your hand, squeezing as you get to your tip and rolling your thumb to spread your precum. You throw your head back, moaning loudly as Boothill rocked the muzzle of his gun in time with your hand.

โ€œLook at ya.โ€ He groans, his free hand going to squeeze at your throat. โ€œGettinโ€™ off to my gun pointed at ya.โ€ Boothill smirks, rolling the revolver again until the familiar โ€˜clickโ€™ sound resounds around the room. โ€œPretty thing, dโ€™ya even know what this could do to you? Or are you too dumbed down already?โ€

โ€œStop teasinโ€™โ€ You whine, your hand's pace slowing as you turn your gaze away from Boothillโ€™s. โ€œNot that dumb yetโ€ฆโ€

โ€œYet.โ€ He repeats, removing his gun from your dick. โ€œThink I can change that real quick, no?โ€ A sharp laugh escapes Boothillโ€™s lips as he suddenly hoists you up and off the barstool you sat on. He spins your body with only a smidge of grace as he lands you roughly on your stomach against the table, your ass now facing Boothill.

โ€œAeons, youโ€™re so prettyโ€ฆโ€ He murmurs, his hands roughly groping the fat of your ass. โ€œCanโ€™t believe yer all mineโ€ฆโ€

A whine slips from your lips, high and pathetic as your eyes flutter closed. โ€œYeahโ€ฆโ€ You whisper. โ€œAll yoursโ€ฆโ€ You feel Boothill drag the muzzle along your backโ€”sliding it under your shirt, before he pulls his arm up, tearing through the thin fabric. You shiver at the newfound cold, goosebumps prickling your exposed skin.

You hear the zipper of his pants as he pulls it down, pulling out his cock and tapping it against your clothed ass before heโ€™s yanking down your shorts. Boothill traces a metal finger around your puckered rim, eyeing you carefully. โ€œSuch a cute โ€˜lil holeโ€ฆโ€ He whispers out breathlessly. โ€œCanโ€™t wait to fuckinโ€™ destroy it.โ€

The instant Boothill stops speaking, you feel the tip of his metal cock push past your hole, stretching you out more than you could ever imagineโ€”despite doing this with him before. โ€œBoothill.โ€ You moan out, eyes fluttering as you crane your neck to look at himโ€”only to have your face pushed right back into the table by the shove of his gun against the back of your head,

โ€œStay still fโ€™me, pretty.โ€ Boothill groans, easing his cock into you. The more he pushes in, the more painful the stretch isโ€ฆ And yet, the more painful it is, the more pleasure your body seems to derive from it. Boothill is only halfway in when you feel like youโ€™ve been stuffed to your limit. A pathetic sound escapes you and you feel his gun press down harder.

Boothill removes his gun from you, using it to force your head to the side. He leans down, spitting a thick glob of spit all over the muzzle, smirking as it gets his gun all messy. โ€œOpen.โ€ He taps it against your lips, making sure to smear his spit all over. Boothillโ€™s smirk only widens when you follow, opening your mouth and letting his muzzle sit between your pretty lips. โ€œAtta boy.โ€ He whispers, thrusting with full force his cock into your awaiting hole.

โ€œBoothillโ€ฆ!โ€ You moan out, though itโ€™s muffled by his gun pressing against the flat of your tongue. Your thighs tense at the sudden pleasure. A gurgly whine leaves your throat. โ€œI canโ€™tโ€”โ€

โ€œYou can,โ€ Boothill growls, pressing his gun deeper into your throat. His thumb goes to spin the revolver, making sure it lands on a slot with a bullet before continuing, โ€œand you will. Ya know why, cutie? โ€˜Cause you're my good boy, and good boys take what theyโ€™re given.โ€

He sets a brutal pace after, thrusting into you relentlessly. It doesnโ€™t matter how you plead, all Boothill does is press his gun further down your throatโ€”until youโ€™re sure your lips will bleed from the stretch. Eventually, his tip knocks against your prostate, sending you over the edge. Your dick squirts a load, all over the table and floor, yet Boothill doesnโ€™t falter.

โ€œLook at you, cumminโ€™ like a slut.โ€ He groans, and his pace seems to increase. Heโ€™s suddenly going harder, faster, everything that makes your head spin with the added overstimulation.

You cry against the gun, tears welling in the corner of your eyes. Boothill seems to enjoy the sight, leaning down to kiss softly against the back of your neck, his free hand wrapping around your waist and fisting your spent cock.

โ€œThatโ€™s itโ€ฆโ€ He coos. โ€œYou think ya can give me one more?โ€ His hand increases, matching the rhythm of his thrusts as he knocks into your prostate again and again and again. โ€œC-Cโ€™mon, need tโ€™do it together.โ€ You nod your head eagerly, drool slipping from between the corner of your lips and his gun.

Boothill thrusts harshly, finally sending you over the edge for the second time, and you feel his metal dick twitch in time with you. Your eyes roll back, ecstasy overwhelming you as Boothill pumps a thick, sticky load into your ass, painting your walls white.

โ€œYouโ€™re so good fโ€™meโ€ฆโ€ He coos into your ear, sliding his gun slowly out of your mouth. With a familiar click, the resounding sound of a gunshot echoes throughout the room as he shoots his last bullet into the tableโ€”right by your head. โ€œYouโ€™re always so good anโ€™ pretty with my gunโ€ฆโ€

Boothill,, Gunplay. Thats The Thought,, If Ur Comfortable Writing That Ofc Ofc

๐“๐€๐†๐‹๐ˆ๐’๐“: @helloanime @kiekole (send ask without anon to be added)

ยฉ KISSENTURINE. do not translate, plagiarize, edit, or repost


Tags
10 months ago

๐’๐˜๐๐„๐’๐“๐‡๐„๐’๐ˆ๐€ boothill x m!reader โ€” 3.3k words, not proofread, minors do not interact

TO NOTE: mechanic!reader, sub!reader, reader gives boothill a dick, reader takes away his censorship, mean dom!boothill, maybe ooc!boothill, fingering, heavy heavy dirty talk, boothill calls reader a whore & slut, boothill steps on reader's dick, blowjobs (boothill receiving), degradation. lmk if i missed anything!!

KAI SAYS: boy am i down bad for this little space cowboy

๐’๐˜๐๐„๐’๐“๐‡๐„๐’๐ˆ๐€ Boothill X M!reader โ€” 3.3k Words, Not Proofread, Minors

As a hardworking mechanic, you often pride yourself on your accomplishments. Youโ€”like any decent oneโ€”had many. From what you worked with to what you managed to fix, there were many things that could be considered impressive to a crowd.

None of them, however, were as impressive as the time you managed to remove Boothillโ€™s censorship and give him back what he called: โ€œa missing piece of his heart.โ€

๐’๐˜๐๐„๐’๐“๐‡๐„๐’๐ˆ๐€ Boothill X M!reader โ€” 3.3k Words, Not Proofread, Minors

Your dimly lit mechanic shop is cluttered with tools amongst other sharp things. Scattered about every flat surface usable is a screw, nail, wire, metal boardโ€”anything you could make use of. In the centre of the workshop is the only real space you kept clean.

Sitting in the middle of the room is a large, metallic workbench. Itโ€™s impressive, to say the least. Hooked up to an uncountable number of wires, switches and knobs decorating the sides, tools hanging from hooks, everything about it is a sight to behold.

Whatโ€™s more impressiveโ€”even more magnificentโ€”is the man sitting on top of it.

With his legs sprawled out and his head idly lolling from side to side, Boothill himself is a man to bless the eyes. The way his body worked, how each wire and sensor inside his cyborg body worked in tandem with each other to create the masterpiece that was him.

Of course, you only think like that because youโ€™re a mechanic. You know how hard it is to put together a synesthetic body part, let alone a whole human being.

To people who donโ€™t know the complexities of machinery, they might just think heโ€™s a handsome cyborg. And really, they werenโ€™t wrong. Whoever created his body, whether it was Boothill himself or another person, was quite the artist with the way theyโ€™d managed to create Boothill as a cyborg and still leave in his human charm.

โ€œHey, sweetheart.โ€ Boothill grumbles, pulling you very quickly out of your thoughts. โ€œYa gonna continue starinโ€™ or ya gonna actually help a guy out?โ€ He waved at the dent in his hip, a noticeable cave to the metal plate.

โ€œYes, yes.โ€ You huff. While you did find the cyborg part of Boothill impressive, his personalityโ€ฆ not so much. He was endearing at times, but mostly he could be a pain in the ass.

A lot of the time, heโ€™d get himself scratched and broken just to come back to you only when heโ€™s on the brink of shutting down. Or, heโ€™d either only come to you with the smallest, most irrelevant and easy-to-fix problems known to man.

His current state being the latter.

You make your way carefully over to Boothill, dropping to your knees beside the workbench to inspect the minimal damage done to his hip. โ€œItโ€™sโ€ฆ not even that bad.โ€ You murmur, eyes darting up to his. โ€œYou could probably play it off as a hip dip or something.โ€

โ€œNope!โ€ Boothill grunts, moving his metallic hand to tap against the metal of his hip. โ€œNot happeninโ€™ cutie. Need this body oโ€™ mine to be in tip-top condition for my next bounty.โ€ He grins widely, stretching his legs in front of him as he rests his arms back behind his head.

You only roll your eyes in response, already pulling out your screwdriver to replace Boothillโ€™s so-called โ€œbrokenโ€ hip. โ€œWhatever you say thenโ€ฆโ€ You grumble, working away at the screws on the plate.

โ€œThanks, sweet cheeks.โ€ Boothill hums, absentmindedly picking at the metal of his shoulder.

You wince at the nickname, your eyes shifting from where youโ€™re working to Boothillโ€™s face. โ€œWhatโ€™s with the nicknamesโ€ฆ?โ€ You say, voicing your curiosity. โ€œWeโ€™ve known each other for what, six months now?โ€ You raise an eyebrow at him before you continue. โ€œSix months, and we're not even dating yet you always seem to use some form of a nickname.โ€

โ€œWell,โ€ Boothill hums, โ€œthe guy that made this good olโ€™ body of mine decided I would benefit from losing a thing or two. Those beinโ€™ my ability to swear and of course my clock.โ€

โ€œYourโ€ฆ clock?โ€ You give him a confused look as you screw the metal back into place, finishing off his new hip.

โ€œNo, no, cutie, not an actual clock.โ€ Boothill rolls his eyes. โ€œMy, uh, manhood, ya know?โ€

โ€œYourโ€ฆโ€ You trail off. โ€œOh.โ€

He grins at you, opening his legs widely on the table. โ€œLook if ya want, I got nothinโ€™ to hide down there.โ€ He gives you a wink before leaning further into your workbench.

You glance down at his crotch and see that it is, indeed, very flat. I guess what he said is true thenโ€ฆ

Youโ€™re about to pick up your tools when you hear Boothill call for you, his name dropping from his lips. โ€œHey, uh, you donโ€™t happen to have any oโ€™ those synesthetic clocks, do ya?โ€

You give Boothill a blank look. While you did have a few lying around, as per a customer who was willing to pay a hefty price of seven million credits for one, you didnโ€™t think Boothill would want one.

โ€œYeahโ€ฆโ€ You eventually respond. โ€œI do.โ€

Boothillโ€™s eyes widen as if he wasnโ€™t expecting you to actually say yes. โ€œOh, mother fudginโ€™!โ€ He says before eagerly jumping off the workbench. โ€œPlease,โ€ he begs, โ€œya gotta hook me up with one! Havenโ€™t felt it in so long, โ€˜s like a piece of my heartโ€™s been missing!โ€

You cringe at his choice of terminology before looking up at the pleading man. โ€œWell, they cost a hefty priceโ€”โ€

โ€œIโ€™m willinโ€™ tโ€™pay!โ€ Boothill cries, the same pleading tone still present in his voice. โ€œPlease, anythinโ€™ for my clock back!โ€

โ€œIโ€”yโ€™know what, fine.โ€ You grumble, not having the energy to think up an argument. You wave your hand at your workbench. โ€œSit on the edge while I grab one. Iโ€™m just gonna assume you want the biggest size.โ€

You hear the faint rumble of Boothills laugh. โ€œOh, darlinโ€™ you know me so well!โ€

You roll your eyes, pulling out a key to unlock a drawer where you kept your synestheticโ€ฆ manhoods. You eye them all, cautiously taking one on the very left end before closing the drawer and going back up to Boothill.

โ€œSo.โ€ You say, holding the synesthetic member awkwardly in front of Boothill. โ€œEight inches, pretty thick, the colour anโ€™ design of the metal goes pretty well with your cyborg parts, I think it matches you.โ€

โ€œOh-ho-ho!โ€ Boothill grins, his sharp teeth shining under the light. โ€œNow that's what Iโ€™m talking about. Canโ€™t wait to have my fudginโ€™ shift back.โ€

You roll your eyes at the censorship before tapping Boothillโ€™s knee. โ€œSpread your legs, gotta get to you if you want me to actually put this on.โ€

Boothill gives you a teasing look and you already know what heโ€™s about to comment on. โ€œIf you wanted to see my new duck in action, ya couldโ€™ve jusโ€™ asked.โ€ He grins and you roll your eyes again. Just what you predicted.

โ€œShut up and spread your legs.โ€ You say, a harsh tone evident in your voice. This time Boothill complies, his knees spreading as you once again take your place, kneeling on the floorโ€”this time between his legs.

Slowly, you unscrew the metal panel on Boohillโ€™s crotch area.

Once itโ€™s fully out, you take a peek into the hole you just opened, trying to grasp what youโ€™re working with. You puff out your cheeks, sighing as you peer into the hole between Boothillโ€™s legs.

Thereโ€™s an assortment of jumbled wires, a few switches, andโ€”is that a remote control? With two fingers, you manage to pry your way into the cavity in Boothillโ€™s crotch. Lithly and carefully, you pull the remote from the little clasp it was stuck in before sliding it out.

You inspect it cautiosly, taking note of how thereโ€™s only one singular switch on the flat of it. You contemplate flipping it, but then it crosses your mind that touching random things that came from inside Boothillโ€™s body wasnโ€™t the best idea.

Setting the remote to the side for later, you continue your work with Boothillโ€™s new member.

Carefully, very, very carefully, you attach each wire to the base of Boothillโ€™s new appendage, making sure everything is kept neat and tidy. With a quick glance up at Boothill, you can instantly tell heโ€™s at least somewhat relaxed.

โ€œBoothill.โ€ You call, tapping the inside of his metal thigh. โ€œIโ€™m gonna connect the synesthesia now, so you might get a bitโ€ฆโ€ You cough awkwardly. โ€œArousedโ€ฆ But just ignore it and try not to likeโ€”yโ€™know, cum all over my face.โ€

Boothill grins down at you, once again flashing you his sharp teeth. โ€œDonโ€™t worry, pretty boy, Iโ€™ve got some self-control.โ€

You nod your head, cautiously pushing the two wires together. The instant you twist them into place, you hear Boothill let out a loud groan. โ€œFudge, I missed this.โ€ He murmurs, his dick twitching to life right in front of your face.

The sight, being able to watch as the new tip of his metal cock twitches and lifts, sends a shiver down your spineโ€”one you chose to ignore as much as possible. Your hands go back to his shaft, gently pressing a screw in and Boothill lets out a loud hiss, his dick twitching in your hand.

โ€œDarlinโ€™ youโ€™re teasinโ€™ me.โ€ He grunts before peering down at you through half-lidded eyes.

You donโ€™t say anything, making sure to work carefully at his dick, making sure everything is functioning. As you trail your hand along the underside of his shaft, Boothillโ€™s thigh twitches, pushing against your head and forcing your face closer to his cock.

You let out a squeal of surprise, eyes darting up to Boothill, whose face is flushed a warm pink with his teeth pulled between his lips. โ€œDidnโ€™t know this would affect you this much.โ€ You murmur, a playful edge in your voice. You hate to admit it, but youโ€™re already half-hard from being so close to Boothill and working on him in such anโ€ฆ intimate way.

โ€œShut it, darling.โ€™โ€ The cyborg grunts, and you laugh at the way his hands curl into fists beside him. โ€œHavenโ€™t felt like this in a while.โ€

โ€œI can tell.โ€ You hum, tapping his tip a few times and smirking at the loud groan that leaves his lips.

โ€œFudgingโ€”โ€ Boothill grunts, his hand grabbing tightly at your shoulder as you stand up. โ€œSuch a fudginโ€™ tease, arenโ€™t ya, sweetie?โ€

โ€œDunno what you're talking about Boothill.โ€ You say, feigning innocence. Sitting up from your kneeling position you grab the remote. โ€œAny idea what this is?โ€ You question, showing it to Boothill.

He eyes it carefully before shrugging. โ€œNah, got no clue.โ€

โ€œWell, thatโ€™s a shame.โ€ You huff. โ€œCause I found it inside you.โ€

Boothill gapes at you, his jaw going slack. โ€œInside me!?โ€ He roars. โ€œAnd you justโ€”just took it out!? What if I need that to live?!โ€

โ€œRelax, cowboy,โ€ you groan, his loud voice getting on your nerves slightly, โ€œit wasnโ€™t connected to anything, and you seem pretty fine now.โ€

Boothill glares at you seemingly having forgotten about his rock-hard erection standing tall against his metal abs. โ€œGive it here.โ€ He says, making a โ€˜giveโ€™ motion with his fingers. He practically snatches it from your hand the instant youโ€™re within arm's reach, his hand grabbing your wrist and pulling you closer as he grabs at the remote. โ€œHmmโ€ฆโ€ He hums, inspecting it in his hands. Slowly, he slides the panel down, revealing two short words that make the two of you gasp.

โ€œCensorshipโ€ฆ Control.โ€ Boothill reads, and you instantly snatch the remote into your hands.

โ€œHey!โ€ Boothill yells! โ€œWait a darn minuteโ€”I need that!โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ you respond flatly, โ€œyou donโ€™t. Whoever built in that censorship mustโ€™ve done it for a reasonโ€”โ€

โ€œYeah!โ€ Boothill grunts. โ€œTo annoy the fudge outa me!โ€ He growls again, desperately trying to reach for the remote again. โ€œOh, fudginโ€™ give it! Whatโ€™ll it take for you to give me the darn thing?!โ€

You grin.

Finally, he asked.

โ€œI think a good enough payment would be to test out this new dick of yours.โ€

Boothillโ€™s expression turns from anger and annoyance to a smirk in the blink of an eye. His hands are no longer grabbing at the remote, and instead resting on your waist. โ€œOh?โ€ He coos. โ€œDidnโ€™t know you liked me that much.โ€ He smirks, leaning closer to whisper in your ear. โ€œBut a test drive would be so much more fun if I had my swearinโ€™ back. Think of all the dirty lilโ€™ things I could say to you, hm?โ€

Your face flushes as you feel Boothillโ€™s cool breath fan over your ear. โ€œI bet you'd really like if I turned it off, be able to swear to your heartโ€™s contentโ€ You do your best to stand your ground, ignoring the blood that rushes to your cock and the way your pants grow tight. โ€œBut I think I can think of a better way to put your mouth to use.โ€

Boothill growls lowly, his grip moving from your waist to your ass to give it a harsh squeeze. โ€œTurn it off and I might just show you what this mouth of mine is capable of.โ€

โ€œHmph.โ€ You grunt. โ€œFine. Let's see how dirty this mouth of yours can get, Boothill." You whisper, your warm breath fanning over his chest. With that, youโ€™re flicking his censorship off, once again leaving Boothill free to say whatever he wants.

โ€œAtta boy.โ€ He growls.

Boothillโ€™s eyes narrow as you flick the remote, effectively ending his censorship. Your face flushes, watching his lips pull into a wide grin as he grips your ass, tugging down your pants and leaving them dropped at your ankles. โ€œDonโ€™t worry whore, Iโ€™ll show you just how good I am.โ€ Boothill growls, his voice dropping an octave. โ€œIโ€™ll have you screaming my name while youโ€™re wrapped โ€˜round my cock.โ€

You donโ€™t say anything, only moving to press your face further into his neck.

โ€œIโ€™ll tell you every dirty word, every filthy thought that crosses my mind while I pound into your tight fuckinโ€™ hole.โ€ Boothill groans, starting to tug down your boxers too.

And suddenly, like he only now could process the extent that he could speak, Boothill is tugging you away from him only to press his lips harshly into you, murmuring into the kiss as he does. โ€œYou little slut, Iโ€™m gonna fuck you till youโ€™re stuffed fuckinโ€™ full of my dick. Youโ€™ll be drenched in your own cum, worshiping my cock, begging for more.โ€ He lets out a loud groan, pulling away. โ€œAnd donโ€™t think you can fuckinโ€™ hide, โ€˜cause Iโ€™ll take you right here anโ€™ now, on your stupid workbench.โ€

A wicked grin spreads across his face, watching the sight of your absolute arousal dripping down your dick.

โ€œLook at you, so fuckinโ€™ hard.โ€ He wraps his palm around your cock, giving it a sharp tug before pulling his hand away only to return with a sharp slap against your tip. โ€œBet youโ€™d pull your pants down for anyone on the street, like a common whore.โ€

You whine, knees buckling at the slap. You collapse onto Boothillโ€™s chest, letting out a plethora of pathetic sounds as you do.

โ€œAww.โ€ Boothill coos, lifting your chin to face him. โ€œThis weak already?โ€

He grips your body, getting off your workbench only to lay you on top of it. You lay flat on your tummy, with you face pressed into the thin padding of the workbench.

โ€œYouโ€™re gonna be a good boy now, anโ€™ take what I give you, โ€˜kay?โ€ Boothil says, bending your knees to push your ass into the air. His finger teases your puckered hole, tracing your rim, but never pushing anything in,

โ€œBoothill.โ€ You whine. โ€œPut it in already!โ€

โ€œWhatโ€™d I say?โ€ Boothill growls, bringing down a hand against your ass in a harsh spank. โ€œThat youโ€™re gonna take what?โ€

โ€œT-Take what you give me!โ€ You whine, pressing your face into the cushion in embarrassment.

You canโ€™t believe whatโ€™s currently happening. Here you are, face down and your ass in the air as Boothill eases a finger into your tight hole, occasionally giving mean spanks against your balls and ass.

Eventually, Boothill presses his first finger in. The feeling makes you gasp out, your back arching against the workbench. His fingers are so thick. You whine out, instinctively rocking your hips against his fingers.

โ€œThatโ€™s it.โ€ Boothill praises, bringing a hand to rub your back gently. โ€œFuck yourself on my fingers, like a good lilโ€™ slut.โ€ He presses in another finger, beginning to match the pace of your hips as he curls them.

He thrusts them in and out, and in and out until youโ€™re seeing stars. Your eyes are rolled back, drool slipping from your lips as you moan and writhe against Boothillโ€™s hand. He curls his fingers, easily finding your prostate and laughing cruelly when your dick twitches.

โ€œFuck, youโ€™re so easy.โ€ He moans, watching you fuck against his fingers. Slowly, he grabs his new metal dick, dragging the cool tip across the crack of your ass. You whine, your eyes squeezing shut at the cold sensation.

โ€œBoothill!โ€ You moan out. โ€œD-Donโ€™t stop, Iโ€”Iโ€™m so close!โ€

โ€œOh?โ€ He questions. โ€œAnd who told you that you had any right to tell me what to do?โ€

Just like that, heโ€™s pulling his fingers away from you. Youโ€™re a whining, crying mess at that. Sobbing about how you needed his fingers, his dick, his anything to make you come. โ€œPlease!โ€ You beg. โ€œNeed tโ€™cum so badly!โ€

โ€œReally?โ€ Boothill smirks. โ€œIf thatโ€™s really what you wantโ€ฆโ€ He tugs you off the workbench, watching you fall to the floor into a pathetic heap. โ€œThen beg me for it.โ€

You nod eagerly, instantly getting on your knees and kissing against Boothillโ€™s hard cock. The rough concrete of the floor is painful against your bare knees, but you can make due.

Youโ€™re quick to take his tip into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the cool metal before pressing your lips slightly lower. Your tongue presses down, forced to drag along his underside the more you take him in.

You blink up at Boothill, tears welling in your eyes as you plead with him to help you. Help you. Use you. It didnโ€™t matter.

Boothill lets out a tsk before grabbing your hair harshly. โ€œWhat happened to my smart mechanic I knew so well? Whenโ€™d he get replaced by this cock-hungry bitch who canโ€™t even suck dick to save his life?โ€

At that, Boothillโ€™s pressing your face all the way down. Your nose pokes at the cold metal of his pelvis before heโ€™s pulling you back and thrusting his dick deep down your throat. He sets a quick pace, fucking into your mouth like youโ€™re nothing but a fleshlight for him to use and throw away at his disposal.

Your jaw hangs slack, tongue forcefully dragging along the metal of his cock. Drool slips from your lips but you canโ€™t bring yourself to care, not when your mouth is being stuffed so full. Boothillโ€™s pace quickens and you moan weakly around his cock, feeling something poke at your own.

From what you manage to see through the corner of your eye, Boothill is stepping on your dick, rubbing the sole of his dirty shoe against your tip as it leaks precum all over the rough concrete. The feeling of his shoe on your dick, his cock stuffing your mouthโ€”itโ€™s all enough to send you over the edge.

Your eyes squeeze shut, your cock twitching pathetically under Boothillโ€™s shoe as you shoot ropes of cum from your tip. Some of it sticks to the bottom of his shoe, and some squirts farther. Boothill laughs, rubbing his shoe harder into your dick, watching you whine around his cock.

โ€œCโ€™mon slut, you can take it. This is the payment you wanted, so donโ€™t go crying on me now.โ€

๐’๐˜๐๐„๐’๐“๐‡๐„๐’๐ˆ๐€ Boothill X M!reader โ€” 3.3k Words, Not Proofread, Minors

ยฉ KISSENTURINE. do not translate, plagiarize, edit, or repost


Tags
1 month ago

phainon yandere profile. gender neutral, TW // yandere, nsfw at the end. credits @cinnamonest for the profile template. :)

What is he generally like? Is he self-aware, lucid, or obsessive? How does he behave?

Phainon is, in all variations of him, just a big dog with a tortured heart. He's desperate for your attention and approval, for someone to never leave him and carry the burden of the prophecy with him. Despite being surrounded by his fellow flame-chasers and admirers, he feels painfully lonely, knowing that at the end of the day, the only person who can truly walk his path is himself.

He's a little intense when it comes to the people around him, so you likely wouldn't think of him as obsessive at first - it's just how he is, so you believe. Phainon really leans into the 'pity me' card (complete with the puppy dog look), and neither you or nor anyone else can say anything about it. He creeps into your life, entwining himself with you until by the time you look down, it's too late.

He's obsessive and self-aware. He knows what he's doing is wrong, like threatening people or restricting your freedom, but Phainon will jump through any and all mental hoops to convince himself (and you) that it's all for your own good, hence obsessive. Idk the cognitive dissonance is strong with this one.

How do you meet him?

Youโ€™d have to be something special - preferably someone beyond the stars, someone who isnโ€™t familiar with Okhemaโ€™s customs at all. Phainon would have trouble with separating you from the people heโ€™s supposed to be a hero to, even if you were able to see him for him.

Alternatively, a childhood friend would do very well for him. Phainon remembers every precious memory he had with you before he could be coined Chrysos Heir. He attaches himself to you obsessively, completely sure that youโ€™re the only person who could ever understand the true him and relieve the burden of all the blood on his hands.

How likely will he kidnap his darling?

Talking strict kidnapping, 1/10. Phainon doesn't need to keep you in his house to control you - he has power and sway over the people, and when that doesn't work, a few well placed bribes help so that someone has their eye on you at all times. Besides, he wants to see you happy and he wants you to accept him, most of all. Kidnapping you would be the antithesis of all that.

How difficult is it to escape from him? How does he restrain his darling? How does he deal with attempted escape?

10/10 difficulty, both physically and from his area of influence. Phainon would make up all sorts of excuses to stay with you a little while longer, whine and complain that he never gets to see you (lie), and try to wriggle his way into your home or coerce you back to his, even if it might make him seem a bit like... loser. He keeps you stuck to his side and in his shadow by sliding an arm around your waist or shoulder under the pretence of friendliness; he's clingy like you've never known clingy before.

Heโ€™s not above using drugs to achieve his desired outcome either, for example, making you so sleepy that you canโ€™t turn down an invitation back to his place. Phainon feels bad about it at first, but when he sees you dozing uncontrollably on his shoulder, it's not difficult to wave the guilt away. And he finds it gets easier the more he does it! So it can't be all bad, can it?

From his area of influence, itโ€™s easy enough to arrange for a little accident, a hiccup with your finances, whatever it takes to keep you within the city and keep you from leaving his side where he can reach you. There's no attempted escape from him - unless you're willing to hurt the people you love on your way out.

How easy is it to trick, deceive, or manipulate him?

For some minor trickery, like making up some excuse to slip away from a social situation, itโ€™s easy enough. Phainon would rather gaslight himself into thinking youโ€™re always right and that youโ€™d never lie to him, and so heโ€™ll let you get away with small lies even if he knows they are lies. True deception and manipulation is tough, however. Heโ€™s always two steps ahead of you - experienced warrior, remember? And well-loved by the citizens besides. Somebody would tell on you, even if he slips up.

You could manipulate him by showering him with love if you're smart about it. You'd have to prepare your exit while giving him lots of hugs and kisses and telling him how much you appreciate him, and Phainon will melt. Play to his rose-tinted glasses and you'll be able to conceal your true plans - just be prepared to move fast, and keep running for as long as you live.

How lenient is he? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

Heโ€™s pretty liberal in the grand scheme of things. He lets you go about your day, stay in your home, continue to have your friends and family with you. But as Phainon closes in on possessing you, you get the distinct feeling that people are beginning to be uncomfortable around you, and that certain choice people have started disappearing - like the colleague who tried asking you out once. Youโ€™d turned him down, of course. But that doesnโ€™t stop Phainon from takingโ€ฆ precautions.

Youโ€™re denied your freedom in the sense that every way you turn, you come up against the iron bars of your metaphorical bird cage. A gilded cage is still a cage, after all, and it's frustrating to know that someone is pulling the strings behind the scenes even though you have no idea who it is.

What kind of rules does he have? What kind of punishments would he use?

The one and only rule Phainon has: no leaving his side. And he means that in the grand scheme of things, as in no dying, and no leaving Okhema. He thinks he doesn't ask for much, really!

He isn't actually fond of punishing you. He likes to treat you like a delicate flower, so he lavishes you in all sorts of luxuries and creature comforts. The most punishment he'd ever use would be to isolate you in his home with nothing but himself for company. It's not the worst, all things considered, but I imagine spending a month alone with Phainon is enough to drive anyone up the wall.

How does he deal with rivals, or perceived rivals?

Phainon can be surprisingly peace-loving when it comes to his "rivals", or at the very least has no desire to hurt the people he's supposed to serve and protect. He tries to let killing be his last resort, and calls in favours from here or there to make sure your paths never cross again. Threats would come anonymously and are usually enough to deter them from ever speaking to you again.

He kills when he has to, though, and makes sure to do the deed himself. He wouldn't trust anyone else with such an important job.

How easy is it to make him mad? What does his anger look like?

Phainon doesnโ€™t get mad so much as he gets desperate, upset, and very, very clingy. It hurts him if you reject him, talk about leaving the city or even Amphoreus, or try to lie to him. Heโ€™s nothing but good to you and has only ever acted for your benefit, so why do you treat him in this way? Tears are common. He doesnโ€™t intend to guilt trip, but he does it very well. You feel like you're kicking a lost puppy in the rain whenever you hurt him. Is it ever worth it?

In a parallel vein, Phainon does get jealous. Thatโ€™s when he feels the need to shower you in physical gifts, or mark you with bruises and bite marks and leave you so sore that thereโ€™s no doubt about who had done that to you. He wraps you all up in his arms, even in public, making sure that word spreads fast who this Chrysos Heir has his eye on.

Does he see you as above, beneath, or equal to him?

He sees his darling as his saviour, his rock, his anchor to whatever good is left in his world, so Iโ€™d say he sees you as above him. Youโ€™re his mortal god, and no normal human would ever relinquish their grasp on their god, would they?

How determined is he for you to love him, or is he content just having you?

It's a little bit of both for Phainon. He's not really determined so much as he is the type to roll around on his bed complaining about whyyy don't you love him back, kneel before you and worship the ground you walk on, anything you want.

He'll pour his everything into loving you, but if he expects anything back, it vacillates. He doesn't quite believe he's deserving of love, after all, and if something loves him back he fears he might lose it. So if you spend the rest of your life hating him, he supposes it's alright as long as you're safe, even if it hurts.

It's either that or he falls into a darkness every once in a while and really needs your comfort and affection. Denying him when he's like this is a sure way to be pulled into some... intimate endeavours.

How forceful is he? Does he care about your willingness?

Like before, it depends on his mood. Usually he's doing his best to coax you into warmer feelings for him, but sometimes, he allows himself to slip and treat you as an object of love rather than another person. Phainon isn't really forceful as in fond of using brute force, but he'll manipulate and cajole until your willingness becomes "your idea", or at least until he can gaslight you into thinking it was your idea.

General perverseness: How sexual is he? What's his drive like? Touchy? Any reservations about sexuality?

Touchy? Extremely. And not even in a perverse manner, Phainon just likes hugs and kisses and cuddles that way.

He doesn't really have any reservations about sexuality - he likes you, he wants you, that's all it is to him. But he doesn't like the idea of forcing you either (without the help of certain substances, at least.) He's definitely much more respectful in the beginning, letting you take things at your own pace. Just don't let him wait for too long...

His drive is constant but not uncontrollably high. Phainon's always in the mood to worship his darling, be it through gifts or pleasure. Whatever darling wants, darling gets, and he's more than happy to provide, even to the point of neglecting his own pleasure.

What body parts of his darling does he like the most?

Probably thighs. He just likes the softness and the warmth of it all, squeezing and kneading your flesh. It's intimate but not too intimate, and he can keep you close while he indulges. :)

this post was so incredibly long. please leave a reblog if you enjoyed TT


Tags
1 year ago

translation

Aventurine doesn't like being understood, but he does like understanding other people. It is essential for manipulation, for scheming, for control. And he likes controlling you especiallyโ€”for keeping you close but your heart a comfortable distance away, for opening your legs when he wants the pleasure of your body, for playing your emotions however he needs. And the day will come when that skill will be invaluableโ€”the day when he must die without shattering you. (Or: You are the only person in the universe who understands Aventurine in his mother tongue. He often regrets teaching it to you.)

5k words. gender neutral reader, established relationship, angst, non-graphic sex (reader bottoms, anatomy neutral), themes of cultural loss, references to slavery, aventurineโ€™s canonically implied desire to die. MDNI.

Translation

Aventurine cannot lie in Avgin.

Deception does not come easily to him in his mother tongue. His command of it is too weakโ€”and too kind. The universe was a different place in the days when his life was coloured by the warble of Avgin dialect. It felt simpler, partly because he was a child and partly because Sigonia was yet untouched by outsiders. There were no corporations, no casinos, no commodity codes. His entire world was sand, desert, mother, sister, father (or more oftenโ€”ghost), goddess, tent, wagon, luck, sin, rain, blessing, Avgin.

Katican.

Aventurine is sure that he knew more than just those words. He was fluent as a child. He had conversations with his sister that were complex enough to make his heart hurt, though perhaps his heart was just constantly aching anyway. But the rest of his early words escapes him. He could maybe dredge them up if he thinks long enough, but he also isn't sure if his tongue and lips could form the shape of them anymore. Sometimes he still counts in Avgin, memorises phone numbers in it, but he doesnโ€™t remember the last time he actually strung together a full sentence in the language.

When Aventurine was first stolen into slavery (a word that he had not known as a child, and still doesn't know in Avgin), he wasnโ€™t given a Synesthesia Beacon. He had to rely on his ears and his wits, deciphering the harsh edges of the Katican dialect and then the strange garble of Interastral Standard Language. By the time he had a Beacon installed, it was already translating all speech into Standardโ€”his dominant language.

Sometimes he feels a little aggrieved by it, but at least it wasn't Katican. He'd have blown out his brains if it were.

But it is easy to console himself: Avgin is not a useful language anyway. Dead languages have no value, and the Avgin dialect was killed along with its people. You canโ€™t perform commerce in a dead language, can't negotiate contracts, can't enter a gambling den and use your silver tongue to rob people blind. You can't use a dead language to fell governments and extract resources; you can't use a dead language to bring an entire planet to its knees. You canโ€™t use a dead language to gamble your life; you can't use it to save yourself from the gallows.

You cannot deceive people in a language that is defined by sand, sister, goddess, ghost.

Aventurine cannot lie in Avgin. His command of it is too weak, and there is no one left to which he can lie, anyway.

Translation

When you ask Aventurine to teach you his first language, he gives you an amused look.

โ€œWhy Avgin?โ€ he asks. โ€œNo one speaks it anymore. I can teach you Common Sigonian if youโ€™d like. Or we could learn Xianzhounese together. Maybe Intellitron code? I know a little.โ€

โ€œYou speak Avgin,โ€ you argue.

โ€œNot often,โ€ he says. โ€œAnd badly when I do.โ€

โ€œBut it's still your language. And I want to understand you.โ€

Aventurine has to stop himself from laughing. Understand him? He hates being understood. When people understand him, it makes him predictable. And unlikeable. Hardly a position from which he can manipulate people in.

You understand him well enough to know that.

โ€œYou'll have to give me a better reason than that,โ€ he says neatly. โ€œMake it worth my while. Reward me.โ€

You look at him as you ponder, your eyes lingering on his. Perhaps trying to read him, though he prefers to think you're just enjoying the sight of them.

โ€œIโ€™ll teach you my language as well?โ€

โ€œYou meanโ€”you'll reward my hard labour with more work?โ€ he says, lighthearted.

You frown at him despite the joke. โ€œYou don't want to understand me better than what a Synesthesia Beacon would allow?โ€ He blinks, pausing. โ€œItโ€™ll be convenient too. We can talk shit about other people in public and no one will understand us.โ€

Aventurine considers you. He doesn't like being understood, but he does like understanding other people. It is essential for manipulation, for scheming, for control. And he likes controlling you especiallyโ€”for keeping you close but your heart a comfortable distance away, for opening your legs when he wants the pleasure of your body, for playing your emotions however he needs. And the day will come when that skill will be invaluableโ€”the day when he must die without shattering you.

He also likes the idea of talking shit in public.

โ€œI'm listening,โ€ he says, voice lilting. You lean in, smiling. Sweet. It makes his heart feel something he isn't used to. Something addictive. Something disgusting. He scrambles to cover it with one of the usual tools: humour or distraction or maybe just plain old lyingโ€”his most reliable weapon.

โ€œI'll throw in a kiss?โ€ you try.

He hums. โ€œJust one?โ€

โ€œOne per day.โ€

โ€œThree.โ€

โ€œYou drive a hard bargain.โ€

โ€œWell, I am a businessman.โ€

You snort, but he knows you're endeared. You have very noticeable tells when youโ€™re flustered.

โ€œOkay,โ€ you say. โ€œThree kisses on days you teach me.โ€

โ€œDeal.โ€

Translation

Aventurine remembers more Avgin than he thought he would.

It comes to him slowly, painstakingly. You aren't interested in structured lessons, and he wouldn't be able to provide them anyway. He has a nonexistent grasp of grammar aside from this sounds right and that sounds strange, and Avgin dialect is both so niche and so dead that no textbooks are available. The scholars have abandoned the language as much as the politicians abandoned its people. Aventurine only has you, his fragmented memory, and whatever questions come to mind as you live out your days with him.

Mostly, you ask him about basic vocabulary. Sometimes you ask him to repeat sentences from your conversations in Avgin, like heโ€™s some kind of multilingual parrot. Each prompt forces him to wade through the fog in his mind, the one thatโ€™s been shrouding his childhood memories until now. He's startled at how naturally the old words roll off his tongue: One, two, three, four. Good morning. Good evening. Good night. Sweet dreams. Five, six, seven, eight. You're lying to me. Why do you always lie to me? I don't know what you're talking about. Nine, ten, eleven, twelve. Welcome home. Have you eaten? Have some bread. I made you stew. Twenty, thirty, forty, fifty. That was dangerous. I thought you wouldn't make it back to me. Sometimes I think you want to die. One hundred, one thousand, one million, one billion. I'm sorry. Come here. Let me kiss you. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

When you say, How do I ask you to let me hold you, he answers easily. He'd heard the words so often as a child: Let me hold you, Kakavasha. Let Mama hold you. His mouth forms the sounds without conscious thought.

He regrets it almost immediately.

When Aventurine hears it from youโ€”stilted, halting, but no less gentleโ€”he stops breathing. Let me hold you. You say it all the time in Standard, but it feels different in Avgin. More painful. A strange sense of panic closes in on him when he's wrapped up in you, thinking in Avgin, thinking sand, sister, goddess, ghost. He holds you tightly, like the rags cut from his fatherโ€™s shirt, or his motherโ€™s locket won back from the shell-slashers, or a bag of poker chips beneath a card table, clutched within his trembling grip.

โ€œAventurine, is something wrong?โ€ you ask in Avgin, and he replies in Standard with his usual smile.

โ€œHm? No. What could be wrong if I have you here?โ€

Lying is one of his greatest tools. Sex is another one. So he says, โ€œI think I'd like my reward now,โ€ and he runs his lips along your jaw, your pulse, the spot over your heart (there's a word for that in Avgin but not Standard, he tells you), until you're laughing. I thought you wanted three kisses, you tease, and he replies, Who said I wanted to kiss you on the mouth?

But he coaxes open your thighs, and once he's inside you, he collects his payment properly. He kisses you, and kisses you, and kisses youโ€”and you swallow his lies whole.

Translation

There are some things that Aventurine doesn't teach you. Mostly, theyโ€™re things that he canโ€™t teach you.

There are countless gaps in his Avgin. His speech is painfully childishโ€”probably more childish than it was when he actually stopped speaking it. He doesn't know how to swear (something that disappoints you) and he doesn't know how to flirt (something that devastates you). He doesnโ€™t know any words that would be useful for work either: commercialization, governance, stakes, winnings, profit. When you ask him what his job title is in Avgin (โ€œWas senior management even a thing in Avgin society?โ€), he laughs and gives you the word for gambler.

Then there are the words that he remembersโ€”has remembered his whole lifeโ€”but never says. Not to you, and not to himself. He doesn't teach you any prayers. He doesn't teach you any blessings. He doesn't teach you about Mama Fenge, or the Kakava Festival, or how the rain fell when he was born. When you ask him, What holidays did you celebrate when you were little? he shrugs and says, We didn't have any. Sigoniaโ€™s too bleak to do any partying.

Then you ask him one day, while your bodies are spent in the afterglow of sex, sticky with sweat and sweetness, how to say I love you. And he goes quiet.

Love is a cheap word in Interastral Standard. In the language of globalisation and trade, love has been commercialised, commodified, capitalised for power. You say it to him in many contexts: I love this, I love that, I love you. He hardly ever reacts, and he's never said it back. It would feel unnecessary and also cruel if he did: Aventurine has only ever said the words himself as either a joke or a manipulation.

But love feels different in Avgin than in Interastral Standard, doesn't sound like a thing that can be traded or bought. Kakavasha only ever said the word love to his mother, to his sister, to his father's grave. Love in his mother tongue feels priceless.

When Aventurine thinks about you saying itโ€”I love you, Kakavasha, in clumsy, earnest Avginโ€”something so painful swells in his throat that he can hardly breathe.

โ€œThere is no word for love in my language,โ€ he tells you.

You blink. โ€œOkay, then what's an idiom for it?โ€

โ€œThere is none. Thereโ€™s no word or phrase expressing love.โ€

You raise a brow. โ€œThatโ€™s hard to believe.โ€

โ€œIs it?โ€ He smiles. โ€œThereโ€™s no Avgin in the known universe who cares about love. Only scheming, thieving, and treacheryโ€”and you can't do those things when love is involved.โ€

You look at him in alarm. โ€œWhy are you saying that?โ€ You're practically squirming in your discomfort. โ€œI don't know why you think I'd believe such a racist stereotype.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s not a stereotype,โ€ he says. โ€œI'm not talking about the Avgin culture. I'm talking about myself.โ€

After all, he is the only Avgin left.

It is an unfair thing to say. A cruel thing to say. After all the laughing and kissing and crying and fucking, after all the tender eyes and gentle words from youโ€”it is probably the worst pain imaginable: I don't give a shit about you. He waits for you to cry.

But you only stare at him calmly, studying him. You brush the hair out of his eyes, seeing them clearly.

โ€œIf you lie to me all the time,โ€ you say in Avgin, โ€œeventually I'll stop believing anything you say.โ€

Aventurine is speechless. His heart does that addictive, disgusting thing again. He thinks about leaving, but then you say, Let me hold you, and he can't do anything other than obey.

Translation

Avgin dialect was once included in the Synesthesia Beacon list of functions. The Intelligentsia Guild added it before the Second Katica-Avgin Extinction Event, when the IPC was trying to get a political foothold on Sigonia via the Avgin people. The language was alive then, with enough value to be included into the Synesthesia LLM by the linguists.

But since the Extinction Eventโ€”since Kakavasha ran away from homeโ€”the Synesthesia data on Avgin has been stagnant, a fossil. Aventurine knows because he's subscribed to software updates for certain languages (Avgin Sigonian, Common Sigonian, Interastral Standard, and now your mother tongue). He gets pinged every time there's a new addition for slang, for neologismsโ€”but there hasn't been a ping for the Avgin dialect since he had the Beacon installed. The live translation function hasn't even been available since the previous Amber Era. When he checks its page on his Synesthesia app, it's very clear whyโ€”

SIGONIAN, AVGIN DIALECT SPEAKERS: 0 STATUS: Extinct END OF SERVICE: 2156 AE

The complete death of the language has led to an irritating dilemma for you and Aventurine. You keep running into words that he doesn't knowโ€”this time not because of his childlike speech, but because they never existed in his language to begin with. Ocean, tropical, rainforest. Starskiff, accelerator, space fleet. Stock market, shortselling, mutual funds. Black hole, event horizon, spaghettification. All things that never came up for Kakavasha, but now come up for Aventurine, and the language has not evolved to include it.

He always wants to switch to Standard to discuss these things, but you're insistent on speaking in Avgin as much as possible. He doesn't know why, but he doesn't mind humouring youโ€”partly because he likes to indulge you, and partly because heโ€™s grown used to hearing the honeyed timbre of Avgin dialect in your household. The place would feel strange without it.

So you start filling the gaps with other languages, filtering them through the lyricism of Avgin. Loanwords, he thinks theyโ€™re called. You take ocean, tropical, rainforest from Amazian; starskiff, accelerator, space fleet from Xianzhounese; stock market, shortselling, mutual funds from Interastral Standard. For the astrophysics terms, you try directly translating themโ€”with limited success.

โ€œCan't I literally just say โ€˜black holeโ€™?โ€ you ask in Avgin, and he nearly spits out his coffee.

โ€œPlease don't. That's a dirty word.โ€ He can't bring himself to say what it means, but from the way youโ€™re laughing, you can clearly guess.

โ€œI thought you said you didn't know how to swear.โ€

โ€œYou've just reminded me how.โ€

โ€œYou're welcome.โ€ You look on the verge of cackling. Aventurine finishes his coffee and wonders when you're going to surprise him with your newfound vulgarity.

โ€œLet's just do the space terms based on Standard,โ€ he says. Begs.

โ€œNo, that's so boring.โ€

โ€œThen let's do your language.โ€

You open your mouth. Close it. Give him a blank look.

โ€œYou don't know how to say those words in your mother tongue either, do you,โ€ he intuits.

โ€œWell, โ€˜spaghettificationโ€™ doesn't really come up in everyday conversation, does it?โ€

โ€œThen maybe we don't need it.โ€ He smiles, senses an opportunity. Smells blood. โ€œHow about โ€˜loveโ€™? I'd much rather know how you say that. I bet it sounds beautiful.โ€

You give him a long look. Your eyes are vulnerable when you share it: Love. I love you. Heโ€™s fascinated by the sound of it. Your voice is never that fragile when you say it in Standard. It's never so earnest. He repeats it, staring at you, and your gaze falls to the ground. His mouth curls.

โ€œI like it,โ€ he says. โ€œLet's use that. It'll sound nice in Avgin.โ€

You try to recover. โ€œSure. That works. But back to โ€˜black holeโ€™โ€”โ€

And the two of you continue like that for days, weeks, months. It feels like a complete bastardization of his mother tongue on some days, in some conversations. Almost unrecognisable. But it doesn't feel bad. Itโ€™s all he has, it's all you have, and when he walks into your home, he starts speaking it without thinking: your bastard, patchwork language. The Avgin dialect that exists only in your house. A tongue that can only be understood by a liar.

And then, one lazy Sunday morning, he gets a familiar ping. He expects it to be Interastral Standard, as usual. The language balloons with each planet that the IPC colonises.

But instead, he opens his screen and freezes.

SIGONIAN, AVGIN DIALECT SPEAKERS: 2 STATUS: Endangered. SERVICE RESUMED: 2157 AE NEW UPDATES: 103 loanwords and 5 neologisms added.

He can't stop looking at the status. Endangered. Endangered, which means dying, but alive. The Avgin dialect is alive again. The Intelligentsia Guild determined it, so it must be true. But Aventurine can't agree: there are no Avgin speakers in the known universe other than the two of you, and what you speak isn't real Avgin. The Avgin spoken by his mother and father and sister is dead; the Avgin spoken by Kakavasha is dead. The festivals are gone; the deserts have been terraformed. There are no wagons; there are no dances; there are no prayers. There are no blessings, and he has no homeโ€”

As long as you are alive, the blood of the Avgin will never run dry.

His throat locks up.

โ€œAventurine?โ€ you ask. Your voice is drowsy, but concerned. โ€œIs something wrong?โ€

He looks at you from his phone, a polished smile on his face.

โ€œNo.โ€ His syllables are plain and efficient in the noise of Interastral Standard: โ€œJust looking at details for a new assignment. Itโ€™ll be a long one.โ€

โ€œOh.โ€ You frown. โ€œWill you be away from home for a long time, then?โ€

He stops himself from swallowing. โ€œYes, I'll be away from the house. For several months, probably.โ€

โ€œOkay.โ€ Your voice is small. โ€œTake care of yourself, okay? I'll miss you.โ€

Each word you speak resonates with heartbreak. It always does in these conversations, even in Standardโ€”but the sorrow is amplified in Avgin. His mother tongue has an inherently sad quality to it, he's noticed. His people have lost so much over their historyโ€”their language is one of loss. It's his language of loss. Kakavasha did all his grieving in Avgin; Aventurine has never felt sorrow in Standard. When the language died, so did Kakavashaโ€”and all his regrets with it.

โ€œYou'll come home to me, right?โ€ you ask. It's a beautiful sentence in Avgin. A heartrending one. He feels something that he hasn't known since he was a child.

It's a feeling he has to kill.

โ€œYes,โ€ he says in Standard. โ€œOf course I'll come back.โ€

Translation

This is not the first time that Aventurine has been mistaken for dead, but this is the longest time.

The latest world to join the IPC network was a tough acquisition. It had been ruled by a despot who wreaked havoc on both the people and the planet, and who was too stupid and reckless to resolve conflicts with his trade partners. He probably would have blown up the whole star system had he been left to his own devices. Aventurine had no qualms about bringing him to ruin, nor did he have qualms about nearly dying in the process.

If things had gone his way, he'd either be dead or missing. This would have been the perfect opportunity to do the latter, actuallyโ€”to be freed from the IPC. Free to drift alone, speaking with strangers in strange, unfamiliar tongues. No connection to his past, to the cruel history of his luck, to his commodity code. No tether to his inherently unjust destiny. But instead he's back in your house, pockets heavy with his borrowed wealth, speaking to you in his bastardised, childish Avgin. I'm sorry. Come here. Let me kiss you. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

Your Avgin isโ€”shockingly fluent. He doesn't know how. He can't think about it right now. All he can process is the wounded animal noise of your speech as you yell at him, as you cry. Like an injured songbird, or a weeping child. Why did you leave, why did you lie, why do you always lie to me, why don't you give a shit about me, you spit. Why do you want to die, why do you want to die, why do you want to die, you keep saying. Sand, sister, goddess, ghost, he keeps hearing. Sand, sister, goddess, ghost. Don't leave me, big sister. People will die. Why do you have to go?

โ€œIโ€™m sorry,โ€ he tries again, this time in your language. โ€œI'm so sorry. Come here. Let me hold you.โ€

You collapse into your mother tongue. Aventurine is both relieved and horrified. Relieved that he doesn't need to hear the language of his griefโ€”horrified that he needs to hear yours. He's never heard you cry like this. He's never heard you break like this. These must have been the words you used when the soldiers found you hiding in your closet, when they dragged you out of your home. You were just a child.

Aventurine doesn't know the words you are usingโ€”you've never taught themโ€”but he still understands them.

You're very malleable when youโ€™re sad; even more so when you're hysterical. Aventurine understands this about you, and he understands how to calm youโ€”this time in your native tongueโ€”and he understands how to kiss you. He understands that you need to feel close to him. He understands that there are ways to accomplish this other than sex. A normal person would talk it out, have an honest conversation, come to a mutual understanding, and maybe even stop trying to kill himself. They wouldn't fuck you into the mattress while your face is still wet with tears.

But Aventurine is not a normal person. He doesn't know how to have an honest conversation, and he doesn't want to be understood. Lying is his greatest weapon, and sex is a close second. So he kisses you until youโ€™re too breathless to cry, fucks you until you can't think, and makes you come so hard that youโ€™re in too much bliss to grieve. And maybe it's horrible of him, but he enjoys it. He enjoys the way your body takes him in so easily, the way your nails dig into his back, the way you tighten around him when you climax, so wet and needy for him. The way you beg for him in your language for liars as he spends himself inside you: I love you, Aventurine, I love you, I love you, I love youโ€”

Only because it feels good. This is all only because he enjoys fucking you. This is all only because you enjoy fucking him. This is all it'll ever be, and it'll be this way until he gets to meet his end.

Translation

(Some months ago, Aventurine started dreaming in Avgin.

It surprised him when he first noticed it. The last time he remembers having a dream in his native tongue, he was twelve years old and still in chains. And even then, it had become a sporadic, strange thing. Awful to wake up from. One minute he was with his mother and sister on a cool, rainy day, speaking fluently in Avgin as he laughed and playedโ€”and the next minute, he was being shaken awake in his cage, hearing the cruel lash of Katican.

But ever since he's started speaking Avgin with you, he's been dreaming in it. Vividly. Sometimes he's a child in these dreams, and sometimes he's grown. He's always back in the Sigonian desert, among the tents and the campfires and his family wagons. His mother and sister are alive. Sometimes his father is too. The skies roar with thunder and the stellar winds are always harsh, but they always keep him cocooned up in their arms. He's always warm.

Sometimes Aventurine dreams of nicer days. Clear skies, warm sun, cool breezeโ€”all blessings from the Mother Goddess. On these days, he tends to be an adult, and you tend to be there with him. Your Avgin is fluent but strange, filled with funny loanwords and peculiar slang. His father likes the neologisms and starts using themโ€”but only in wrong ways. His sister finds it embarrassing and keeps apologising to you.

His mother loves you. She loves you so much it hurts. This is how I know you're blessed, Kakavasha, she says, glowing. Youโ€™re so lucky to have found such a kind person.

Kakavasha knows this. He knows he's lucky, and in his dreams, that isn't a bad thing. In his dreams, his luck means that his home is not violently excised from his heart: his father never dies; his mother never dies; his sister never dies. The tents are not burned; the wagons are not destroyed. He is never forced to forget his people's dishes, their songs, their language, their joy. And in his dreams, his luck means that he meets you anyway, without all the loss and the chains and the lying.

In his dreams, he is able to bring you to the desert. He is able to teach you the Avgin he spoke as a child, to cook all the meals his mother used to make, to share with you their coffee and their tea. He teaches you prayers. He teaches you blessings. He tells you about Mama Fenge, about how the rain fell when he was born. He takes you to the Kakava Festival, shows you how to dance, sings to you all the Avgin songs until you're singing back. He presses his palm to yours in prayer; he kisses you in devotion, not avoidance.

Sometimes the two of you still fight, the same fights that you have in real life, but he handles them with honesty. He listens to you. He apologises to you. He tells you that heโ€™ll change, and he means itโ€”because this world is a kind one, and he has no need to be so cruel to you.

In this kind world, when you lay in bed with his arms tight around you, you smile at him and say, I love you, Kakavasha. You say it in Avginโ€”real Avgin, not the dialect born from genocide and deceitโ€”and when he responds, there's not even a little bit of insincerity in his voice. Because Kakavasha never became Aventurine in these dreams, so he has no Interastral Standard in which he can lie to you, no silver tongue with which he can manipulate you, no commodity code that inspires his fear of being controlled by you. Kakavasha only knows Avgin, and he only has his sand, his family, his goddess, his home.

And he has you. Finally, he has you.

He kisses you, and kisses you, and kisses youโ€”and then he tells you the truth.)

.

.

.

Aventurine cannot lie in Avgin.

You noticed this very early on: whenever he lies to you, he always switches to Interastral Standard. Probably he wouldn't be able to do it in his mother tongue. His command of it is too weak, and the words he knows are all too kind. He speaks with the innocence of a child, and children cannot deceive people in the way that adults can. Children cannot perform commerce or negotiate contracts. They cannot use a silver tongue to rob people blind. They cannot save themselves from the gallows.

So Aventurineโ€™s Avgin is defenceless. Vulnerable. So vulnerable it hurts. You are not so vulnerable in your first language because your captors spoke it on occasion, and you learned to lie in it to gain their pity. You told Aventurine that knowing it would help him understand you, but this was a deception. Aventurineโ€™s mother tongue was a language of trust, but yours is a dialect of abuse.

The Avgin language died before Aventurine could be gutted by it; this is why it disarms him so completely. This is why heโ€™s so indulgent and so warm when you use it with him, why he yields to all your requests. Not requests for money or giftsโ€”youโ€™re certain those are meaningless to himโ€”but for affection. Let me hold you. Let me touch you. Let me kiss you. He can never say no.

This is also why he loves hearing you speak his mother tongue, you thinkโ€”it makes him feel at home, it makes him feel safe. Maybe it even makes him feel loved. He never seems so at peace speaking any other language, so you try to use Avgin as much as possible. You like seeing him happy. You like it even if it means you need to teach him your own native language in exchange, even when it means you need to hear him say all the things your captors used to say. You don't mind it if it's him. You never mind the harm he inflicts on you, especially not when it brings you closer to him.

It is convenient that he cannot lie in Avgin. You only wanted to learn it in the first place because he talks in his sleepโ€”mostly in Standard, but sometimes in his native tongue. And now that you know he cannot lie in Avgin, you also know he's always being honest in his dreams. Honest when he throws his arms around you in his sleep. Honest when he grabs you so tightly that you bruise. Honest when he buries his face into your neck and whispers prayers into your skin.

Most of the words he says are common ones, the earliest vocabulary that he taught you. But there are some things he's withheld from youโ€”and to learn those things, you had to track down linguists from the Intelligentsia Guild, bribe them with your dirty money, have them give you all their deprecated, extinct data. It felt two-faced, and it was violating, but it was the only way. You already know that Aventurine would rather die than translate his feelings for you, would never want this part of himself understood.

I'm sorry for always leaving you.

I'm sorry for making you cry.

I can't bear the thought of losing you.

Freedom would be too lonely without you.

I don't want to hurt you anymore.

I don't want to lie to you anymore.

I missed you.

I want you.

I need you.

I love you.

Translation

end

Translation

afterword


Tags
1 year ago

PROMISCUOUS BOY

PROMISCUOUS BOY
PROMISCUOUS BOY
PROMISCUOUS BOY

prompt: your next-door neighbour keeps bringing hookups one night after other disturbing your precious sleep. exhausted, you decide to write a letter venting all your frustrations โ€” not expecting that in the middle of all this it would reach it recipient.

pairing: blade, jing yuan x fem! reader

cw: scenario format, modern au, slightly ooc to fit the plot, suggestive themes, mentions of sex, flirt, not beta-read

reblogs and comments are appreciated โ™ก

PROMISCUOUS BOY

Dear apt 502โ€™ neighbour, I understand that starting a letter with "dear" may sound a bit old-fashioned and ridiculous when I don't even know you, but I hope you take in consideration my romantic spirit as a passionate literature student and will overlook this fact. That said, the reason why weโ€™ve never met is mainly based on the times when I leave and get home. You see, I'm in my last year of a master's degree and the university has been charging all my time and dedication, so I barely have time to take care of myself other than to fall into bed and sleep. But lately, in the late hours of the night, Iโ€™ve had my rest interrupted at the only moment when my mind should find peace. And I swear, I've tried to use all possible methods to prevent the noise from affecting me but it has been increasingly difficult. Far be it for me to look for trouble because of someone else sex' life, no. I'd rather say good for you instead. But would it be nice of you to fuck your bitches without breaking my wall in the process? I can deal with their horrible moans, but definitely not with my damaged apartment. Be that as it may, I wish you the best intentions. Your apt 503โ€™ neighbour

Blade

Oh, how you hated your neighbour. You hated him so much.

There were few people who achieved such a feat since you were the most patient and easygoing person to ever exist. Not even your Languages โ€‹โ€‹and Cultures IIโ€™ partner who was extremely irresponsible or your idiot ex-boyfriend who still didn't seem to understand the meaning of the word break-up were able to get out of you a feeling as negative as hate. But, well, for everything in this life there was a first time, and your not-so-dear-neighbour was getting the upper hand.

When you wrote the letter on one of the dozens of nights in which his nocturnal activities seemed to be more important than other people's rest, you didn't expect a few days later for it to disappear from your desk where it belonged, much less for your friendly doorman to confirm your worst nightmare: all the mail for the week had already been sent.

What was supposed to be a joke turned into more days and nights of stress and you even considered writing him a second letter explaining that it was all just a misunderstanding and that the cracks in your wall weren't that important after all. However, when a week passed and your next-door neighbour's sexual activities began to last until the next morning, you understood that he was deliberately mocking you and, consequently, declaring war.

Now take a good look. You were a person known for your poise and calmness in overcoming challenges despite so much pressure, so it was expected that itโ€™d be no different this time. Except it was. Because not even the calm and composure that the gods gave you could help you ignore the terrible moans in the next room, and the investment you put into that apartment was too high to let it go unnoticed.

And so, at 7:05 am on a Sunday morning, you found yourself in front of apartment 502' door knocking continuously on it as you waited not so patiently the willingness of your neighbour to finish his fuck and attend you. How a person managed to have so much sex drive was beyond your understanding, but perhaps this was due to the fact that your neighbour was an old and lonely man who must have found pleasure in the company of women only at night. Yes, that was a plausible reason.

In the end, you spent at least five minutes abusing the doorโ€™s wood without stopping. And just as you prepared to knock once more, it suddenly opened and the man who had tormented you all your nights had finally revealed himself.

Your impressions: Well, old he certainly was. Lonely? Hard to say. Now, unfairly hot and attractive? Unexpectedly yes.

When you came to your senses, you and the half-naked man spent a long time staring at each other in silence, absorbing each other's characteristics. You were clearly affected by his beauty and he was clearly irritated by your presence.

"Are you going to stare at me all the way, or are you going to say what you want?"

You blinked once, twice, three times until his words hit you, making you visibly red with embarrassment. How rude!

"First, good morning to you too," you said venomously, "Second, didnโ€™t you read the letter, no? What part of not breaking the wall didnโ€™t you get?"

The man seemed to take your words into consideration for a few seconds before a sneer appeared on his lips and his eyes narrowed in amusement. He leans against the doorframe and crosses his arms over his bare, scarred chest, making him more attractive than he already was.

"I don't see how this is up to you alone. After all, the wall is as much yours as itโ€™s mine," he says and you open your mouth in shock.

"Excuse me? How can I not when itโ€™s my side that is being damaged the most!"

"Then you better start looking for a bricklayer."

Gods, this man was impossible! You already knew that you hated him for a very insignificant reason, but now you were sure that he was more detestable than he let on. And the fact that he counts your arguments with that purposeful blank expression infuriated you even more.

"Unbelievable. Not only can't I keep my apartment intact, but I also have to spend sleepless nights because of the noise too."

"If the noise bothers you so much you can always come and join in," your neighbour offers with a small smirk, but the devilish glow that radiated from his crimson iris didnโ€™t hide the true meaning behind his words.

Too embarrassed and disconcerted to continue the argument with the man, you angrily return to your house, slamming the door aggressively and containing the scream of frustration that bubbled in your chest.

Yingxing in turn couldn't help but think that you had a nice ass, and that annoy you was even better than he thought.

PROMISCUOUS BOY

Jing Yuan

Two whole days looking for the letter all over your apartment took you to the most advanced stage of despair. Even though you had already ransacked your living room from floor to ceiling more times you could remember, messing up your kitchen and bedroom in the process, you still hadn't found a single trace of the piece of paper. And even though a part of you already knew that there was a high chance that the letter had been mixed in with the other correspondences and had been forwarded to its intended recipient, you'd rather have a hole in the ground swallow you than consider the only plausible option.

Even so, now here you found yourself: in front of the apartment 502โ€™ door with a courage and pride that wasn't yours, sweat running down your spine and the dread of finally coming face to face with the man who not only ruined your last nights sleep, but who could very well ruin your social life too. God, just thinking that he could be a troublemaker and report you to the police, tarnishing your criminal record and your reputation as a good neighbor made you sick to your stomach.

But there was no other alternative. You had to make sure he hadn't opened the letter, or, in the worst case, consider not bringing this humiliation to the public.

So, minutes after knocking on the door, you were finally greeted by the resident of apartment 502 who, for much your surprise (or much delight) was wearing nothing but a bath towel with the steam's traces still emanating from his pale, wet skin. It suddenly became very clear to you why all those dozens of women made sure to scream โ€œOh, Jing Yuan!โ€ every time they reached an orgasm.

"May I help you?"

Yeah. Fucking kill me, you wanted to answer.

The words you had practiced so much seemed to have escaped your brain and a familiar heat burned your cheeks. The embarrassment was huge, but you had already come this far and there was no going back. You only wished your neighbour wasn't this attractive, though.

"Hi. Good evening, sir. Iโ€™m your nextdoor neighbour and I wanted to know if by any chance you received a letter signed in my name", you stuttered so fast that you feared youโ€™d have to repeat the sentence all over again since Jing Yuan didnโ€™t seem to express any reaction for a few seconds.ย 

As the realization hit him, though, a faint gleam of amusement crossed his golden irises and mortification hit you like a bolt of lightning.

Oh shit. He had read the letter.

"Just a moment, my lady", Jing Yuan said with a playful smile on his lips and entered his apartment for a few seconds, returning shortly afterwards with the well-known envelope in hand.

He held out the letter and you trembled as you finally picked it.

"I can tell that this was not a letter intended to be sent, right?"

"No, it wasn't. And I'm so sorry for causing you so much trouble! God, what a humiliation! Now would be a great time to die", you pleaded into the void and your handsome neighbour laughed in response.

"Itโ€™s alright. You know, it's the first time I've received a letter from such a beautiful lady, although the content was definitely not what I expected", he said contemplatively crossing his huge arms on his huge chest. You looked away feeling more embarrassed, "Nevertheless, I also apologize for my lack of attention. Iโ€™ll be more considerate from now on."

If only it could get any worse. Here he was apologizing for having a healthy sex life when you should probably be doing the same. Having sex not apologizing, of course.ย 

Fearing that if you said anything else your words would come out more clumsy than the erratic beating of your heart, you forced a smile to your neighbour who was now looking at you intensely in slight amusement. And realizing that if you stared back at the man for too long your role as a fool would only get worse, you came up with a quick excuse to escape from there and back to your apartment. Maybe your next letter would be a goodbye to the world because you refuse to leave your home from now on.

"Thank you for your attention and again I apologize for the confusion, Mr. Jing Yuan. It was great meeting you, really, but I need to go so have a good night and donโ€™t mind me anymore," you bow quickly and respectfully as your face burned in red, and stumble on wobbly legs back to your door.

However, before you could enter your house due to fumbling with the wrong keys for the lock, Jing Yuan let out a light laugh and replied: โ€œIt was my pleasure to meet you, Miss Neighbour. Although, I must say that I would like to keep hearing more from you from now. This time, in person, of course."

Needless to say you entered your apartment at lightning speed vowing never to exit it again, leaving behind a very good-humored Jing Yuan.

How delightful to know that you already knew his name before he even needed to introduce himself, huh.


Tags
1 year ago

I want 800 million dollars ๐Ÿค‘

๐‘ฃฒ RILE HIM UP ! Ft BOOTHILL.

๐‘ฃฒ RILE HIM UP ! ft BOOTHILL.

โ € โ€” your least favourite cyborg is brought back to you a mangled mess.

โ € OR

โ € โ€” being boothillโ€™s mechanic when you lowkey canโ€™t stand each other.

๐‘ฃฒ RILE HIM UP ! Ft BOOTHILL.

โš ๏ธŽ sweet sweet tension, a little suggestive towards the end, gn reader (no referring pronouns), can they fuck already, this was ib by his lightcone, wc 1.9k

๐‘ฃฒ RILE HIM UP ! Ft BOOTHILL.

boothill's eyes flickered to life, emitting a faint glow of red as his systems began to reboot.

a pair of familiar red pupils met yours, two crosshairs fading into sight as boothill regained his sight andโ€” to your dismayโ€” consciousness.

as the cyborg regained his motion he attempted a step forward, only to realise he didnโ€™t have the feet or legs to do so. the only thing keeping him powered on were some metal claws screwed into his back and a few loose cables connecting to your terminals.

โ€œsugar plum,โ€ boothill's scruffy voice cut through the silence. โ€œdo y'care to explain where my legs mightโ€™a run off to?โ€

you actually cocked an eyebrow. how the hell were you supposed to know? boothill was brought back to you in a mess of scraps and wiringโ€” the damn hunk of metal was lucky you made him as blast proof as possible and he was left salvageable.ย 

โ€œcare to tell me how the hell you got this roughed up?โ€

you asked in turn, crouching down to look at the detached and ruined internals of boothill's torso where the stand-in wires were connected. you ran a finger carefully along the edge of his shredded metallic stomach.

โ€œguess i didn't make you as smart as i thought. time for a newer model, maybe?โ€

boothill's eyes flickered down to his missing lower half, then to your hand that was more or less caressing him. it was amazing how much annoyance they could show in all their artificial glory.

โ€œlook whoโ€™s talkin.โ€ the cowboy grumbled, pointy fangs poking out in an irritated grin.ย 

โ€œhow โ€˜bout, โ€˜gee, boothill! iโ€™m real glad yโ€™ainโ€™t get blown to smithereens beyond repair!โ€™โ€ย 

โ€œit would've been less work for me if whoever blew you up finished the job.โ€

you sighed as you stood up, putting a hand lazily on your hip.

โ€œhowโ€™d it happen?โ€

boothill bit back another argument with a gruff chuckle.

โ€œsome real cutie-pies i was huntinโ€™ down had a lilโ€™ more firepower than i expected. guess they didnโ€™t appreciate me spoilinโ€™ their party.โ€

boothill visibly cringed as his insult was substituted with some cutesy nickname mid explanation.

โ€œand can you fix my beautiful synesthesia beacon already? this thing is drivinโ€™ me up the wall.โ€

the request fell on deaf ears as your fingers typed something on your laptop, likely another string of code.

โ€œyouโ€™re more concerned about your censor than how long itโ€™s gonna take me to put your legs back onโ€ฆโ€ you sighed to yourself, still leaned over your workbench, eyes focused on your screen.

โ€œi'm not touching it right now. youโ€™re lucky iโ€™m even letting you stay sentient after this.โ€

boothill snorted at the remark, brows furrowing in a steady grimace.

โ€œwell, โ€˜scuse me for wantinโ€™ to speak freelyโ€“ย  iโ€™m a grown man!โ€ his pointy teeth shone as they peeked out again in a grin.

โ€œyโ€™know what? just leave yer lilโ€™ tools and all the pieces thereโ€” iโ€™ll get my legs back on myself. donโ€™t need no charity work from the likesโ€™a you.โ€ he laughed. โ€œheck, may even give myself a new pecker while i'm at it!โ€

the mechanic had half a mind to listen, sit back and watch boothill struggle to reassemble himself just to prove a point and simultaneously bask in his embarrassment when the former realised it wasnโ€™t possible.

(not that he wouldโ€™ve admitted defeatโ€“ you would have begrudgingly stepped in and helped before he inevitably messed up his wiring more.)

you stepped back over to boothill, hands moving to hold his cheeks so you could tilt his face side to side to check for any more damage.

โ€œcool it, cowboy.โ€ your eyes squinted in focus as they looked at boothill's, lightly tugging up on his eyelid to check for scratches or cracks.

โ€œi'll get you back up and running, just lose the attitude already.โ€

boothill's eyes narrowed as he felt your touch on his face. the temperature difference of warm fingers on his cold, mechanical body stirring an oddity where his gut should have been. though he tried to ignore it, the sensation was there, clear as day against all his artificial nerve endings.ย 

โ€œreal easy for you to say,โ€ he huffed, avoiding your eyes as he was examined like a broken toy. โ€œletโ€™s see how peachy you are when yer all strung up and legless, love muffin.โ€

that censor really was gonna drive him insane.

โ€œjust get it over with.'' boothill muttered in annoyance. โ€œand try not tโ€™fuss anythinโ€™ up.โ€

it took quite some time, as expected, for you to successfully reattach boothillโ€™s legs and fix his mangled midsection. when you were finally finished, you tugged out any leftover wires that connected boothill to your terminals and pushed back in your wheelie chair to beckon the cowboy forward. you pushed your glasses up to your forehead, some hair getting swept out of your eyes with them.

โ€œfeel fine?โ€

boothill rolled his ankles and bent his knees, giving his legs a good stretch to test their mobility.

โ€œmighty fine,โ€ he responded, satisfied to feel they were weighted and moved the same as before. โ€œthough i canโ€™t say iโ€™m lovinโ€™ the breeze up my backside.โ€ย 

boothill glanced down at himself, steel body completely bare and lacking any of his signature clothing.ย 

โ€œgot my pants lyinโ€™ around anywhere, sugar plum?โ€

you pointed to another table in the room, where boothills clothesโ€” (or rather the new ones you had to go and getโ€”) were neatly folded, his hat placed on top of them.ย 

boothill went to get himself dressed, hoisting up his bell bottomed pants and sliding on his jacket. he stole a glance in your direction every so often, resisting the childish urge to roll his eyes at the mere sight of you.

the artificial man hit a small bump in the road as he went to zip his jacket (could you really call it that with how little it covered?) upโ€”ย  his fingers werenโ€™t responding as well as they should have been. he could open and close his fist, but lacked the precision to pinch and hold the zipper.

โ€œhey, honeybun,'' boothill called over to you with a furrowed brow. โ€œdidnโ€™t i tell you not to go fudginโ€™ anythinโ€™ up?โ€

you, in all your overtired glory groaned, turning around in your chair and waving boothill back over.

โ€œwhat are you talking about?โ€ย 

โ€œmy cute lilโ€™ fingers ainโ€™t workinโ€™ thatโ€™s what iโ€™m talkinโ€™ โ€˜bout!โ€

boothill's footsteps were clunky and loud as he stomped his way back over to his mechanic.

you reached for his hand, an uncharacteristic gentleness in your touch as you examined five mechanical fingers.

โ€œmake a fist,โ€

boothill obeyed, curling his fingers into his palm.

โ€œopen it,โ€

he obeyed again, letting them open and relax.

โ€œhold up two fingers,โ€

boothill tried, but his fingers got stuck halfway into the motion, locking at the joints.

โ€œson of a bitch.โ€ you sighed, turning for one of your tools. โ€œsit back down.โ€

boothill grumbled and went to hoist himself back onto the workbench.

โ€œleast one oโ€™us can say itโ€ฆโ€ย 

โ€œdo you want me to fix you or not?โ€

โ€œi'm sittinโ€™ ainโ€™t i??โ€

you pulled boothill's shirt off his left shoulder and popped open a tiny panel on the curve of his neck, sliding your glasses back on to the bridge of your nose. with a lean forward you began carefully looking at a few thin wires that filled the space.

boothill tapped his fingers against the tabletop while you worked, that same oddity as before settling in his now repaired gut. he rarely got messed up enough for you and him to spend this much time together, or for you to have to really be in such close proximity.

itโ€™s not uncomfortable, but the feeling is by no means familiar. itโ€™s actually a little embarrassingโ€“ a galaxy ranger, a space cyborg and expert hunter, feeling almost flustered at some close contact like some kind of shy little girl.

โ€œsomething the matter?โ€

boothill nearly jumped as you spoke up quietly to check on him, voice quiet and so close to his ear he had to refrain from leaning both closer and away.

โ€œnah, everythingโ€™s just dandy.โ€ boothillโ€™s voice followed yoursโ€“ quieter and a little softer as a result of the closeness.

โ€œyouโ€™re sure?โ€ you looked up from the small mess of wires, eyes glancing up at your cyborg over the rim of your glasses. โ€œmight as well fix anything else thatโ€™s bugging you while iโ€™m here.โ€

boothill would have swallowed if he had the need to lubricate his throat. he shook his head, turning to look somewhereโ€” anywhere else.

yours lingered on him, albeit briefly, observing the clench of his jaw and the way he tried to shift in his seat without being disruptive to your work. he didnโ€™t see the little smirk tug at your lips as you refocused on the task at hand.

boothillโ€™s cybernetic limbs felt almost human in their sensitivity, sending faux shivers up a spine he didnโ€™t even have. the mechanics fingers running down his forearm are doing him no favours as they move to hold his hand again.

โ€œclose your fistโ€ฆopen itโ€ฆtwo fingers upโ€ฆโ€

each command was obeyed, ten gunmetal fingers finally holding up a little peace sign.

โ€œthat should be it, come see me if they start acting up again.โ€

you stood up, tentatively reaching out to fix boothillโ€™s jacket and begin to zip it for him.

boothill didnโ€™t protest the act, but it wasโ€ฆconfusing, to say the least.

โ€œreckon iโ€™ll just start seeinโ€™ those auto bots again,โ€ he leaned back on his palms as your fingers fixed his collar, straightening it out.ย  โ€œmuch as i love our lilโ€™ visits.โ€

you only hummed, smoothing out a few wrinkles and neatly tucking his scarf into itโ€™s neckline, as he liked. โ€œyou could,โ€ you mused, hooking your finger lightly into his collar and giving a gentle tug forward. โ€œthey donโ€™t take as good care of you as i do, though.โ€

this time boothill caught the little smirk on your lips, clear as day and enough to make him question if short circuiting was possible.

youโ€™re doing it on purpose, he knows. the careful touches to his hands and body against the sensors you put there, quiet voice leaving him with a frisson you made it possible for him to have.

boothill returned the smirk, albeit a little wobbly.

โ€œyou tryinโ€™a rile me up, sugar plum?โ€ย 

he entertained you with a lean forward, two white crosshairs looking right at you while he considered if a hand on your waist was too forward or the perfect cornering move.ย 

โ€œjust like watching you squirm.โ€

you were gone as quickly as youโ€™d arrived, finger unhooked and going to pick up his hat.

โ€œbut say i was,โ€ you didnโ€™t bother with a glance over as you made sure the brim was straight and unharmed. โ€œi hardly have to try.โ€ย 

boothill hopped down from the table, following your path and offering a scruffy chuckle when you reached up to place it on his head.

โ€œyeah? and what makes yโ€™say that?โ€ his hand found a place on his hip.

you didnโ€™t respondโ€” not verbally, anyway. a quick flick of your eyes downwards was all he received.ย 

so he followed, looking down as well, to the very appendage he had insisted you give him over and over again pushing against his trousers.ย 

his own dream, now his downfall.ย 

boothill pushed passed you, pushing his hat further down onto his head while he stomped away. the profanities that left his lips filled the airโ€” or rather their replacements. something something i love you blah blah peach cobbler something cutie-pie or meow!

โ€œremind me tโ€™settle for them lovely auto bots next time!โ€

he opened the door with a firm kick of his boot, stomping out with a scowl.ย 

as if he wouldnโ€™t be back. you took better care of him, after all.

๐‘ฃฒ RILE HIM UP ! Ft BOOTHILL.
๐‘ฃฒ RILE HIM UP ! Ft BOOTHILL.

โ € ๐‘ฃฒ MASTERLIST / GOT A REQUEST ?


Tags
1 year ago

Just a coworker

Dr ratio x g/n! reader (i tried)

Part 1, Part 2

cw. angst, super slow burn, they eventually get tgt, hurf/comfort, jealousy brr, reader is unhinged, mentions of drugs, kinda cringe but who cares I've written worse, not proofread, dr ratio is a pussy

a/n: i js wanna say fck SCHOOL FOR GIVING ME 6 PROJECTS DUE TOMORROW. THIS FIC IS MEH BUT TRUST IT GETS BETTER (hopefullyโ€ฆ)

Just A Coworker

Veritas Ratio is a lonely man. Only having his books and his sculptures as friendsโ€” regarding the rest as no use for him.

Up till now, you've been nothing more than the pest who waves hi at him every morning, bringing him coffee every now and then. You must be scheming something, there's no way someone could ever be this nice without asking for a favour.

โ€œDr ratio!โ€

The alabaster headed man stared at you, even with that stone head of his, you can clearly feel his piercing gaze.

โ€œWhat is it?โ€

Veritas groans in annoyance, what is it again?

Lately, you've been struggling to teach this subject. As well-versed you were in topics such as literature, history and the likes, it was true that you were above average with maths.

โ€œI've been tutoring this kid after classes and wellโ€ฆโ€

He doesn't move, just listening intently.

โ€œHe's been asking about quantum mechanics and I don't know much about the topic soโ€ฆโ€

โ€œso?โ€

so?

โ€œI was wondering if you can teach me it.โ€

God damn it, he has better things to do.

โ€œThen read a book about itโ€

His eyes were trained on your figure as he saw you tense, just why him of all people?

โ€œDr ratio, just this once. I just need to learn the basics once and I won't bother you again!โ€

He closed his codex and turned the other way, ready to walk away from conversation.

โ€œI have better things to do than humouring your foolish anticsโ€”โ€

โ€œPlease.โ€

Your hands fidget nervously as he paused before looking back at you, pondering whether to do you a favour.

โ€œI'll think about it.โ€

By the time you blinked, he was gone.

The next day passed, you were at his door, clutching your teaching materials as you waited for veritasโ€™ class to end.

He scrunched nose as annoyance rose in him like a tide, he could see you waiting at the window and checking the time every now and then.

โ€œThat ends our discussion for today.โ€

His voice echoing on the walls as the bell rang, his students already out the door.

After a good 10 minutes, most of the students were out the door as he was left alone with himself (+ those eyes of yours that never seem to leave him alone)

โ€œIt's rude to stare.โ€

His comment caught you off guard, the corners of your lips twitching nervously as you hid behind the wall againโ€” shit, he caught you staringโ€ฆ

Veritas let out a sigh before cleaning his desk of the sparse test papers he's collected last week.

A moment of silence passed before you mustered up the courage to enter the spacious room, it wasโ€ฆ quiet to say the least.

โ€œDr. Ratioโ€”โ€

โ€œI'll tutor you but with one condition.โ€

Sweat trickled down your forehead as you nervously anticipated what he's about to say. (Did I mention he paused to rile you up?)

โ€œYou,โ€

A click on his cabinet was heard before he turned at your direction to get a better look at you.

โ€œThat I won't have to tutor you again next time, just this onceโ€

It was odd, a teacher asking for tutoring from a fellow teacher? It wasn't uncommon but it certainly irked him of the thought. You could just read a book about it but you'd rather take his precious hours in his day for something you could do yourself.

You let out a sigh of relief.

โ€œwhewโ€ฆ I thought you were going to refuse.โ€

โ€œDo you want me to?โ€

You shook your head no, gripping your satchel tightly.

โ€œTomorrow at the faculty room after classesโ€”โ€

When you blinked, he was already behind you. Was he a magician or something?!?

โ€œโ€”Don't be late.โ€

Then, the door closed abruptly, now it was only you in the room.

โ€ฆ

The next day, classes already ended and you cleaned up your desk to get to the faculty room.

As you slid the door open, he was already waiting for you.

โ€œWhat're you doing?โ€

Veritas moved another chess piece on the board, eating the white team's queen.

โ€œWhat does it look like I'm doing?โ€

Why can't he just be nice for once?

โ€œWhatever, soโ€ฆ do we start reviewing?โ€

You pulled the chair opposite to his and sat down. He didn't reply, only tapping his feet.

โ€œYour turn.โ€

โ€œDo I just?โ€”โ€

โ€œJust move a piece.โ€

Fine then. There were barely any pieces left on the board, leaving you with no other choice as you hid your king at the corner of the board.

โ€œCheckmate.โ€

There was a visible annoyance on your face, making veritas chuckle.

โ€œSeriously? When are you going to start tutoring me? I came here to learn somethingโ€” not some stupid chess gameโ€

โ€œFirst of all, chess isn't stupidโ€

Before you knew it, veritas flicked your forehead.

โ€œSecond of all, learn patience.โ€

โ€œow!โ€

Veritas hid away the board and grabbed all the books needed, pulling out some notes and highlighters for you.

โ€œReadโ€

The man in front of you flipped the pages and pointed at the highlighted paragraph for you. Was he making you read out loud? Were you 10 or something?

โ€œDo I really have to?โ€

His fingers tapped aggressively on the board, his patience was thinning and you weren't even past the first page yet.

โ€œJust do it.โ€

โ€ฆ

Who could've guessed two hours later you would be in tears, notes sprawled all over the table and veritas shouting at you.

โ€œIdiot.โ€

He commented on your work before rewriting the entire thing for you and repeating it again.

โ€œGod dammit we're not even past the 20th page yet you're here crying like a child.โ€

Sniffles echoed in the room, only his lamp illuminating the room. You checked your phone and it was already 8 pm.

โ€œNow read.โ€

โ€œQ-quantum mechanicsโ€ฆโ€

He clenched his jaw, raising his voice at you before you could continue.

โ€œYou imbecile, not thatโ€” can't you read?!? Its wave function!โ€

โ€œWhatever!โ€

Before he could react, you stood up, bag already in hand and walking away.

โ€œWe're not done yet.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t care.โ€

Just like that, you were gone.

โ€ฆ

Despite you running off yesterdayโ€ฆ There you were sitting on that same chair with the alabaster head man right in front of you.

โ€œAgain?โ€

You bit your lip nervously before tightening the grip on your pen.

โ€œYeah.โ€

Veritas nodded as he placed down his codex and walked to the sprawled shelves at his desk, his fingers tracing over the books (those books were rotting on those shelves, too dusty he had to wipe them)

โ€œhere.โ€

He took the book off the shelf and thrusted it into your hands.

โ€˜The nonlinear schrodinger equationโ€™

โ€œLet's start with the โ€˜weakly nonlinear dispersion relationโ€™ topic.โ€

Time flies by as he explains each term to you, giving definition after definition about each equation in front of you.

โ€œHere, page 24.โ€

He pointed at the first equation but your eyes couldn't leave his stone head.

For an intimidating man, he's getting quite patient with you.

โ€œโ€” and let's compute the coefficients, after that,โ€

You couldn't stop wondering what he looked like under that stone head. It's hot out here, he must be sweating a tsunami in there. Is he handsome? or maybe he's wearing that stone head because he looks that bad?

โ€œโ€”the quantum mechanical pressure becomes negligible in the โ€˜semiclassicalโ€™ where nabla andโ€”โ€

He hit your head with a codex, with no hesitation at all.

โ€œow!โ€

Oh shitโ€” he must've noticed you staring.

โ€œWhat were we reviewing?โ€

uhโ€ฆ

You gulped nervously, looking down at the page, you guys were already at page 26?!?

โ€œ0 points.โ€

He smacked you but with less force, though enough to leave a bruise.

โ€œthat hurtโ€ฆโ€

โ€œThen listen, don't waste my time.โ€

Under that alabaster head of his, a small smile formed from the corner of his lips due to the amusing sight before him.

โ€œYou're annoying, let's go over the fluid-dynamical form again.โ€

You weren't that boring after all.

โ€ฆ

You both were already at page 31, which was slow progress (at least to him, he can finish the book in under 3 hours.), yet still progress nonetheless.

โ€œDo you get it now?โ€

It was already 9:58 pm, shit. You both got carried awayโ€ฆ

โ€œYeah.โ€

Veritas handed the book over to you and hid away his highlighters.

โ€œGo review at homeโ€” you better finish page 40.โ€

You nod, shoving the book into your satchel and your water bottle.

Today wasโ€ฆ fun.

As you walked outside, one foot already out the door, you looked back.

โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œandโ€ฆโ€

There was a moment of silence, none of you moving before your voice shook,

โ€œThank you.โ€

He didn't say anything back, only putting back his folders in his bag as he removed his attention from you. You shook your head and just walked home.

โ€ฆ

It was the third day of him tutoring you, you were getting quite good.

โ€œAnd how do you do the hamilton equation?โ€

There was a weird habit you did, you would bite your pen or sometimes click it nonstop due to stress (which you did now, don't do it too much though, you'll piss off veritas.)

You let out a soft hum before confidently writing the equation, no error in sight.

โ€œAnd these quantities are called?โ€

โ€œThey're uhโ€ฆ momentas, right?โ€

โ€œ20 pointsโ€” you're getting good at this.โ€

Receiving praise from others came by often, but to get one from the Dr. Veritas Ratio himself? You could wish.

Your eyes were glued at the scratch paper, unable to contain your smile; the aeons definitely smiled down on you and blessed you with his attention for today.

He takes note of this, but doesn't comment on that any further, only flipping the pages.

โ€ฆ

The fourth day. It was 2 pm, 3 hours earlier than the usual tutor hours. A new coffee shop opened in the food court at the university, which turned into the new buzz (the old coffee shops were shit.)

The line was long, your legs were about to give up but your students would occasionally suggest this shop, saying it's definitely better than the instant coffee at the teacher's lounge.

After 5 more minutes, it was finally your turn to order.

โ€œGood afternoon! What can I get ya?โ€

The menu was definitely diverse, candy corn flavoured coffee? That's new.

โ€œI'll take your special cappuccinoโ€

The cheerful cashier jotted down your order, asking for your name then running to the back.

You sat down at some table and took out your laptop, fixing your schedules for this weekend.

โ€œFor ___?โ€

Eh? That was fast. It only took them 3 minutes to make your order despite the heavy line? Impressive.

โ€œThank you.โ€

You smiled and snatched the cup from the counter and walked back to your seat.

It tasted funny. Coffee jelly in cappuccino with sprinkles on top? At Least it tasted good.

โ€œAnd here I was wondering where you are.โ€

โ€œack!โ€

You looked up and saw veritas in front of you, looming over you with his codex behind him after he hit you.

โ€œthat hurtโ€ฆโ€

He sighed and sat down next to you while you rubbed the bruised area.

โ€œStop hitting people with your codex damn it!โ€

โ€œI find it far more interesting to use my codex to get your attention.โ€

โ€œWeirdo.โ€

He chuckled at the way scoffed, sipping your coffee and typing some requirements on an excel sheet.

โ€œAnyways, why were you looking for me?โ€

He leaned back on the couch, before responding,

โ€œNothing, I was just wondering where the idiot was.โ€

โ€œYou littleโ€”โ€

Only a soft sigh left your lips as you continued to type, veritas beside you reading his codex and none of you saying a word.

Though this peaceful moment was short lived as the bell rang, signalling that the two of you had to go back to your respective classes.

Veritas sat up, closing his book.

โ€œIt's time for me to go.โ€

โ€œOh yeah.โ€

Veritas was gone in a blink of an eye, what's up with him disappearing so suddenly 24/7?!?

โ€ฆ

5 pm.

You were patiently waiting in the faculty room, what was taking veritas so long?

โ€œYou're lateโ€

Veritas rolled his eyesโ€” wait.

His stone head wasโ€ฆ was this really the veritas ratio? He had nice purple hair, his eyes, he looked soโ€ฆ beautiful.

No way.

โ€œWhen are you going to stop staring?โ€

โ€œOhโ€” uh.โ€

You chuckled nervously before forcing a smile as he sat down in front of you.

โ€œLet's continue where we let off.โ€

The sound of flipping pages reverberated across the room, your eyes locked onto his face. He would occasionally click his tongue at some parts of the book, guiding you through each equation as his face was close to yours; enough to feel his breath on your skin.

โ€œโ€”because its transformation ฯ† is a symmetry and thus preserves the Lagrangian L and the action ,S=โˆซLโ€

Veritas ratio leaned closer to you, your hands touching as he got closer,

โ€œDo you get it now?โ€

You didn't. You were too focused on his face, with every wrinkle of his brows, the tiniest details of his jaw and hell, even his eyes. How could you even focus? With his face inches away from yours? No way. The man right next to you stares at you, tapping his fingers on the mahogany table; he repeated himself.

โ€œI said, do you get it now?โ€

Like the air was sucked out of your lungs, your last card was to lie but he was smart enough to not fall for that.

โ€œY-yesโ€

โ€œThen what were we reviewing just now?โ€

He rolled his eyes hearing your mind blank out and confused โ€˜uhhsโ€™ escaped your lips. You flinch from his harsh tone, as the cold stare turned into a glare.

โ€œWe should be reviewing the noether theorem, not my face.โ€

He made you solve equation after equation, his gaze not leaving you once as he crumpled your papers even after one minor mistake, โ€œIdiotโ€, โ€œDo it again.โ€, and โ€œAre you really paying attention?โ€ Constantly rang in your ears, you were not sure whether you asked for a tutoring session or a three hour insulting session from the revered professor.

โ€œI'm sorry.โ€, He sighed at your visible frustration as you apologised through gritted teeth. He started to pity you when you struggled with just the terms at the next lesson. Was this theorem that hard? He dropped his pen and closed the book.

โ€œLetโ€™s end todayโ€™s session.โ€

A look of relief appeared on your face as he said those words, clearly, heโ€™ll give you a breakโ€”

โ€œJust read this book instead. It gives a more in-depth explanationโ€

โ€” or not. He thrusted the book in your hands and put on his alabaster head, making you raise an eyebrow,

โ€œWhat? You canโ€™t seem to focus without this onโ€

You laughed an awkward chuckle while sliding the book in your satchel, a small squeak was heard when he stood up and moved his chair at his desk.

โ€œTomorrow again?โ€

โ€œSure.โ€

โ€ฆ

Veritas tapped his feet aggressively as time past by, you were late by 20 minutes, by now he would've left but for some reason he's feeling nice today that he'll wait for you.

The faculty room door slid open as light footsteps entered the room.

โ€œSorry โ€˜m late.โ€

You smelled different today. That would sound creepy to the average person but despite the tight alabaster sculpture that covers his face, he could smell your perfume and that he's gotten used to your scent by now.

โ€œDid you wear something new?โ€

โ€œCome again?โ€

He took one glance at you and shook his head and shifted his attention to the complex arithmetics on his codex.

โ€œHey, what did you mean by that?โ€

It was hard to ignore you as he tried to mute your voice but he let out an inaudible sigh before taking a quick glance at you.

โ€œI meant your perfume, idiot.โ€

โ€œNo need to be rude.โ€ you scoffed and placed down your bag at your desk.

He finds himself eager for a response as your right hand shuffled in your bag looking for the perfume bottle,

โ€œI just tried something new.โ€

โ€œOh?โ€

He leans over the table to take a closer look at the bottle, inspecting it with a skeptical look one he's glad you cannot see through his sculpted head.

โ€œIt was a gift from one of our coworkers hereโ€

There was a loud slamming sound that rang in the room when you dropped the materials Veritas made you read, it was a pain highlighting everything.

โ€œFrom who?โ€

Why was he suddenly interested? He's not one to ask about anyone's affairs so suddenly, not that he'd care about something so miniscule about you like perfume yet you humour him.

โ€œFrom Amir, the history prof guy?โ€

โ€œI see.โ€ For some reason, he finds himself feeling annoyed after hearing who you got it from. Why would you accept a gift from that idiot? He's a far better history professor, definitely? definitely.

Hours passed yet he couldn't concentrate. Not with that foul stench of your new perfume of yours.

Dr. Ratio scrunched his nose in disgust as he continued to guide you through each and every lesson, harsher than usualโ€” you didn't know why.

โ€œWrong answer, 2 points.โ€

Veritas smacked your arm with his heavy codex and snatched your answer sheet, crumpling it and tossing it in the bin.

โ€œDo it again.โ€

This fucker. You were starting to lose your resolve but you do not falter under his scrutinising gaze.

Again and again. Another 30 minutes yet your answers didn't seem โ€˜perfectโ€™ enough.

Veritas clicked his tongue in annoyance as you failed to answer another simple question again

โ€œAre you even paying attention?โ€

โ€œIf you didn't yell at me every minute I would'veโ€

You continued to write more equations as he rolled his eyes at your reply, his eyes scanned your work and it was okay (atleast to his standards).

His eyes squinted, looking for any mistake but there was none, he gave up.

โ€œ50 pointsโ€, he spoke in a defeated tone.

โ€œJust 50?โ€

โ€œ0 points thenโ€

โ€œOh come on.โ€

It was hell getting tutored by him.

Just A Coworker

A/N: ITS TWO PARTS COS FUCK TUMBLR AND TOLD ME THERES A WORD LIMIT LOL. THE FULL FIC WAS LIKE 6.4K WORDS OR SHIT DAMN. ITS SO CRINGE ONG IMMA POST PART TWO TMRW GOD. IM LAGG>NG SO NAD RN HELP


Tags
1 year ago

Friends

Jing yuan x g/n!reader

Summary: The xianzhou citizens don't often indulge in romance, to love is to one day see yourself fall into the embrace of maraโ€” to let your lover witness it. Some still love, some deny themselves of such feelings.

Cw. Angst, unrequited love (not really), getting drunk, mixed signals, implied sexual stuff and a little bit of that but they don't actually do it (i think), no fluff no comfort because that shit is for the weak

A/n: Did I cry writing this? Yes. Was it worth it? I don't know.

Friends

Love.

noun

an intense feeling of deep affection.

He wonders if you ever noticed how he felt about you. Lingering gazes lasting deeper than it should, โ€˜accidentalโ€™ brushes against your hand or how he finds himself dropping everything he's doing just to be with you.

โ€œJing yuan, your move.โ€

Your words snap him back to reality, he awkwardly bit his lip, his focus back on the board. Right.

He wonders as he moves his piece two tiles forward, would you ever get wind of these growing feelings of his? If you did,

โ€œCheckmate.โ€

Would you feel the same?

A light chuckle leaves his lips, the sight of your frustrated expression ingrained in his mind, like every memory he has of you.

A loud slam echoed in the room, โ€œHow do you always win?โ€

โ€œYou make brash decisions on the board,โ€ Jing yuan backtracks the pieces before the soul-crushing checkmate, he positioned your pieces, โ€œIt should've gone here, you could've blocked my move.โ€

An exasperated sigh escapes you, clamping chunks of your hair frustratedly after realising you could've won, โ€œI hate you.โ€

The man laughs as he tidies up the table, eyes still trained on you.

Friends

He doesn't know how and why you both ended up in this position.

Your relationship was complicated.

He doesn't understand you.

Sometimes you'd hold his hand, tell him all your secrets like he were a priest at a confessional, take care of him and everything of the like.

Yet, you always pushed him away. He'd sit right beside you, looking over your shoulder to read the novel you recently took interest in. As if he were a bug, you'd swat him away for being too close.

โ€œJi, don't get too close. I'm melting from the heat.โ€ you say, but it was winter?

He doesn't understand love at all.

He loves mimi, he loves starchess, he loves his family (the high-cloud quintet, or should I say, ex-family), he loves tea, he loves his home.

Sometimes you two would go out to the library, indulging in me-time, faces buried in pages.

โ€œJing yuan, have you found a book about that one novel I told you about?โ€ He shook his head no, he doesn't indulge in fictional work that often. But you loved novels.

โ€œI think I found it.โ€ He wipes the dust off the book spine. โ€˜How to fall in love with a geniusโ€™, what a strange book title.

โ€œReally?โ€ quietly tiptoeing towards his direction, the library lady eyeing you two; you had a habit of making too much noise, leading to the bookkeeper scolding you both.

โ€œHere,โ€ he blew over the cover, dust particles puffing in your face.

โ€œBastardโ€”โ€ words barely audible as you spoke in-between coughs, โ€œThanks thoughโ€

The bookkeeper glaring at you two, sending shivers down your spine. The idiot laughs again, you slap his back.

You both get kicked out.

Friends

Friends don't get drunk together, friends don't cuddle, friend's don't do this.

Like โ€˜friendsโ€™, you cling to him in his bed, head nuzzled in his neck. Jing yuan was scared to hug you or even dare to hold your waist.

He can only get a taste of heaven but never the real thing, you can hug him yet when he reciprocates he's too close.

He envies at how audacious you are. That you're not afraid to hold him like he's yours but he could never call you his. How you could just stare at him with those loving resplendent eyes but he could never stare longer at yours.

This time however, he wishes he slept in, he wishes he told you he was busy, that he doesn't want to hang out today.

One drink turned to two, two drinks turned to three. More, more and more, until you're on top of him, all of him you can see.

โ€œJi.โ€

How cruel you are. Straddled on his lap as he was laid against the pearly sheets of his bed, your eyes devoid of light as your free hand tug on the hem of his shirt, โ€œJing yuan, I'm sorryโ€

You cried again, gripping his shirt tightly. Why can't he push you away?

Tears spill out as you desperately wanted to love him, as he did too. But was it really love?

โ€œI love you.โ€ he accidentally slips out.

Your eyes widened in fear, you tried to convince yourself you didn't hear anything as you grind your hips on his lap, croaking out a guttural moan.

โ€œPlease,โ€ you grinded faster, your hips burning, you prayed to god that what you heard was a lie, that you misheard him.

He groans in desperation, hands on your hips, โ€œI really love you.โ€

Without a second thought, as if you were sober, you swatted his hand away and got off his lap. He stares at you like you were a madmanโ€” why did you suddenly stop?

He wishes he was drunk enough to indulge in you that night, but sober enough to have never said that.

He sat up, his hand reaching out for you but you swat it away again, โ€œStop.โ€

A sob stuck in his throat, heavy breaths drowning out the wanton moans from earlier.

โ€œIโ€ฆโ€

He wishes he never even loved you in the first place.

Tomorrow came, those lingering gazes on each other no more, those playful banters dissipated into thin air.

He can't bring himself to confront you, too scared to accept what's become to the two of you.

โ€œJiโ€” General. Documents from Madam Yukongโ€

The way your eyes dart to anything but him, he bit his lip anxiously, โ€œYes, thank you. You may leave now.โ€

As if nothing happened last night, you bowed your head and ran away as quickly as possible. Does he even have the courage to ask you for another game of starchess?

Days passed yet no progress. Your relationship has turned into a strictly professional one. So cold to each other, yanqing and fu xuan can't wrap their hands around what could've happened but they don't have it in them to ask what happened.

The general signed paperwork, like usual. Not noticing loud thumping footsteps nearing his desk.

โ€œGeneral,โ€ a part of him wished it was your voice.

โ€œYes yanqing?โ€

โ€œThey've turned in their resignation paperโ€

Oh. Huh?

He thinks yanqing is joking. Not when his dear retainer thrusts the documents to his hand does he realise he's really lost you.

โ€œFor what exactly?โ€ he asks as if he doesn't know the answer.

Yanqing sighs, โ€œI'm not sure either, but they talked about retiring.โ€

โ€œThey're too young to retire,โ€ the man scratched his head, his mind racing with a million thoughts and a million regrets.

โ€œGeneral, they're 630 years oldโ€

โ€œOh right,โ€ he gave his retainer a weak smile, hoping the young boy doesn't notice the uneasiness in his eyes when he read through the contents, โ€œI shall talk to them before I approve their resignation. You may leave.โ€

Yanqing nods, taking his leave as Jing yuan trembles. He's lost the high-cloud quintet, does fate have to take you too in its stride, far away from him?

He was okay with just being friends with you.

Jing yuan called for you in his private garden, he didn't expect you to actually come especially after that.

โ€œYou came.โ€

โ€œYou called,โ€ your eyes as empty as that one night.

He tried his best to hold back the tears, heart burning yet he had to remain professional. After all, he was your boss.

โ€œYanqing brought me your resignation request.โ€ he pauses, unable to find the right words.

Normally, if an employee of his decides to resign, he'd sign away their request and carry on with his life but thisโ€” how could he just sign so easily?

โ€œHave you not signed it yet?โ€

โ€œNo.โ€ he can't bring himself to.

Your fingers found solace under the table, fiddling and fidgeting together but you'd rather die than let the man in front of you notice it, โ€œCan't you just sign it?โ€

โ€œIt's justโ€ฆ you've been working with me since the high-cloud quintet and it's not that easy.โ€

โ€œHow so?โ€

โ€œWeโ€™d lose an important member of society, your contributions to the mechanical team have been beneficial,โ€ he tapped his foot aggressively, agitated. โ€œCan't you think twice about it?โ€

Without hesitation, โ€œI can't. I'm getting old, sooner or later I'd dieโ€”โ€

He listens, not interrupting you, โ€œโ€” I don't want to die without living.โ€

Living? What a lie. You've been more alive by his side more than anything.

โ€œWhat exactly do you mean by living?โ€

He pretends to not understand, he wishes you'd just take him into consideration and talk to him like he was Jing yuan, not the general arbiter.

โ€œYou know what I mean,โ€ the air sucked out of your lungs, why did he have to make you say it out loud?

โ€œI want to live. I want to be finally free of my duties, get married, and retire.โ€

He nodded along with your words, he felt sick. Sicker than he ever was in his life.

โ€œI wish you told me soonerโ€

โ€œWhat good would it bring?โ€

โ€œI just wished you were honest from the start.โ€

The words were once stuck again in your throat, trying to blink nonstop to not let those pathetic tears spill out, โ€œThis is for meโ€”โ€

โ€œWhat about me?โ€

Desperation laced in his tone, he wishes you'd give him a chance, that you'd let him in.

โ€œWhat about you?โ€

You wonder, what about him? He wants to ask, what about us?

โ€œThis is about me,โ€ neither of you could find the words, but you try.

โ€œI want to live,โ€ forlorn, not a glimmer of hope in your eyes, he wishes on a sliver of hope, โ€œIs that too much to ask?โ€

Yet life is cruel. It was a mistake trying to be more than friends with you, again; he wished he stayed as friends with you. He would have been fine with anything.

For your own good, โ€œI understand.โ€

Jing yuan reluctantly took his pen, staring at the paper. He signed.

โ€œThank you.โ€

He signed you away, at least now, there's no more need for formalities. He is no longer your boss, he is just jing yuan to you.

โ€œIโ€ฆ โ€œ his mouth snapped shut.

โ€œNo more words, general?โ€

As selfish as it sounds, he wants to tell you that he's willing to leave this life behind. That if you want to live, he'll live with you, if you want to marry, he'll marry you. If you want to retire, he'll retire with you.

But duty calls, he can't just stop being โ€˜general arbiterโ€™ in a heartbeat for you. He wishes he could.

It's not that hot outside today, but he feels like burning.

โ€œAh, nothing. Where will you go now?โ€

โ€œIt doesn't matter, I'll just go somewhere, live alone or maybe start a new life.โ€

โ€œI wish luck for your future endeavours.โ€

Jing yuan has never been selfish. This time however, he wishes he wasn't the general. He wishes he was just a normal man, he wishes he had the privilege, that he had the choice to be your man.

You could no longer handle being under this suffocating atmosphere, โ€œCan I leave now?โ€

โ€œBy all means.โ€

That was the last time he talked to you, he wonders, he wishes, that he was anyone but him. Not even he could have foreseen this.

When your footsteps grew quieter as you were farther away from him, he cried.

It's been long since he's criedโ€ฆ years, centuries perhaps.

He's lost his family, he's lost you too. All because he wanted to be more than friends.

He wonders if you cried too, if you'd come back. It's for the best.

In due time, one of you will turn mara struck. He doesn't have the heart to see you in that state. But he wishes you gave him the chance to love you, even for just two years. A year or two is all he needs to be content.

None of that matters, he wipes his tears. Reporting back to the seat of divine foresight.

Friends

Note: not proofread so dont laugh. ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜” Before one of you bitches say, who hurt you, who hurt you? No, this is just me projecting with my cupioromantic and aromantic tendencies. ITS SO COMMON TO SEE MC BEING THE ONE GETTING REJECTEd BUT NOT THE CHARACTER GETTING REJECTED I NEED MORE FICS WITH THIS PLOT GRRRRR ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ. ITS 3:16 AM FUCK SLEEP FUCK IT ALL GRRRR

Written by @khuzena. Likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated. โ™กย 


Tags
1 year ago

hihi! an iced english breakfast tea with father figure blade?

โ€œiced english breakfast tea here, for... ah, who was it? Oh, of course! Blade!โ€

โ˜† โ€” if you're craving a drink, make sure to stop by the teashop!

Hihi! An Iced English Breakfast Tea With Father Figure Blade?

i. SUMMARY: While on a trip, you receive a letter from a certain Stellaron Hunter. ii. CWS & NOTES: no warnings applicable. PLATONIC blade & gn!reader, brief silver wolf & reader, kafka & reader. father figure!blade. found family fluff. 0.5k words. iii. A/N: hi anon! this request was actually much further in the queue, but i finished it quickly so i thought i might as well post it now.

Hihi! An Iced English Breakfast Tea With Father Figure Blade?

The letter is penned on bright white paper, covered in small creases that have been smoothed out. The writing on it is small, with some parts crossed out and rewritten, filling the entire page. In the corner is a small series of doodles in purple ink, crude drawings of the three Stellaron Hunters and you. The envelope is beside it with the wax seal broken, smelling faintly of spider lilies.

Inside, it reads:

[Name],

I hope this letter reaches you well, if it reaches you in the first place. I must admit I am skeptical of the effectiveness of the intergalactic postal system, but it isnโ€™t as if there is another way to contact you, aside from tossing the letter into outer space and hoping it finds its way to the planet you are currently on.

I think this is the longest itโ€™s been without seeing you since you were young. It is much too quiet without you around; Silver Wolf has attempted to fill the silence, but I hardly understand what she is talking about half of the time and I do not care to ask. When you return, you will have to inform me what โ€˜dpsโ€™ and โ€˜maxed outโ€™ means, because I know asking her now will only give me a long-winded spiel about those video games she is obsessed with.

Despite you being gone several weeks now, itโ€™s still been difficult to adjust to having one fewer member of the group. I have been turning the corner, expecting you to be there waiting for me, but I am constantly finding myself alone. Kafka tells me itโ€™s the mother hen instincts, but she doesnโ€™t know what she is talking about.

Silver Wolf has been asking about you non-stop, telling me she wants her Player Two back. She made me play with her for a bit, but according to her, Iโ€™m so terrible at the games that it isnโ€™t even fun to beat me. Iโ€™m not sure what she means, she beats you all the time anyway, but when I told her that she just rolled her eyes.

Kafka misses you too, though sheโ€™s at least got enough emotional maturity to admit that out loud instead of sulking. When she found out I was writing this letter, she made me promise to tell you she canโ€™t wait to see you again, and youโ€™d better be taking care of yourself. I think she feels the same as I do, even as she teases me for it. Things just arenโ€™t the same with one less person.

I know youโ€™re wondering about me, but Iโ€™ll keep it shortโ€”Iโ€™m fine. My condition is no better than you last saw me, but it is no worse either. You donโ€™t have to worry, and I mean that with honesty.

I trust you are using this well-deserved break to its fullest, taking in the sights and not causing any excess trouble. Elio doesnโ€™t allow vacations very oftenโ€”itโ€™s a wonder he approved this one, with all the missions heโ€™s sent us on latelyโ€”so make sure you take advantage of it. If you are in a tough situation, you only need to remember what Kafka and I have taught you: hit them fast and hard, and donโ€™t leave any witnesses.

Be safe. Iโ€™ll see you soon.

Blade

Hihi! An Iced English Breakfast Tea With Father Figure Blade?

reblogs and comments are appreciated! โ™ก


Tags
1 year ago

My Crime To Commit

summary: Blade can commit sins for you, but he would rather you hurt him thousands of times before you ever commit those sins too.

warnings: violence, blades

My Crime To Commit
My Crime To Commit

If you were to ask Blade to kill for you, he would do it. Not a hint of hesitation to be found, his sword swiftly slashing through the object of your aggression in cold blood.

But if you were to kill, he would rather you tear his flesh apart hundreds of time with a heated dagger than let you do such a sin.

He's your weapon, so why are you starting a battle unarmed?

Itโ€™s not him doubting your skill, itโ€™s his centuries of experience that hold up his view. He knows what becomes of those who murder from their own free will, heโ€™s one of those unfortunate souls. If you were to fall into the viscous cycle, he would be at a loss.

He doesnโ€™t think of you as a saint, no far from it. He sees you as a person, a person that can alleviate his own sufferings. But he would never force you to, even in the worst midst of his mara striking. To be more accurate, you just calm it down with your presence alone, youโ€™ve never done anything in particular.

But itโ€™s never gone, the sensation his mara lets bubble in his body is still there, itโ€™s just locked away in a pathetic part of his mind. That same mara that leads him to madness, the same thing thats caused him to shed blood on his resurrected hands. He doesnโ€™t want you to turn into him.

So, heโ€™ll patiently wrap his hand around yours, and help your fingers grip the handle of the weapon. Heโ€™ll even guide you to stab his heart hundreds of times if you so wished it, heโ€™s weak for you like that, so heโ€™ll do it.

He isnโ€™t asking you to be innocent, nor does he want you to be guilt free. He wants you.

If you ever mention killing, his cold eyes will stare into your own while placing the nearest tool in your palm, and directing it towards him. His face only inches apart from yours, feeling him breathe through his nostrils. Take your rage out on him if you have to.

He views it as a connection of sorts. Share your feelings to him and heโ€™ll guard them as much as he can, though his techniques of protection arenโ€™t exactly sane.

He doesnโ€™t speak, but you can tell from the firm grip on you what it is heโ€™s saying.

If youโ€™re his cure, let him be the disease you spread.

My Crime To Commit

Lowkey this works with both regular and yandere Blade. (Heโ€™s just smitten) .


Tags
1 year ago
THE PARTY & THE AFTER PARTY เณ€ Kafka & Blade โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ€˜oh Girl, Donโ€™t Hold Back - Let
THE PARTY & THE AFTER PARTY เณ€ Kafka & Blade โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ€˜oh Girl, Donโ€™t Hold Back - Let

THE PARTY & THE AFTER PARTY เณ€ kafka & blade โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ€˜oh girl, donโ€™t hold back - let it out!โ€™

THE PARTY & THE AFTER PARTY เณ€ Kafka & Blade โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ€˜oh Girl, Donโ€™t Hold Back - Let
THE PARTY & THE AFTER PARTY เณ€ Kafka & Blade โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ€˜oh Girl, Donโ€™t Hold Back - Let
THE PARTY & THE AFTER PARTY เณ€ Kafka & Blade โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ€˜oh Girl, Donโ€™t Hold Back - Let
THE PARTY & THE AFTER PARTY เณ€ Kafka & Blade โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ€˜oh Girl, Donโ€™t Hold Back - Let
THE PARTY & THE AFTER PARTY เณ€ Kafka & Blade โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ€˜oh Girl, Donโ€™t Hold Back - Let

๐“ฆARNINGS ึน ๏น’ เญจเงŽ fem!reader - threesome - drug use - dubcon [themes] - slowburn - ft. jing yuan - overstimulation - blade has a crush on the reader - cunnilingus - reader is a bit of a pushover - roommate!kafka - ex-stepsister!kafka - sexting - cum eating [?] - creampie - asphyxiation && gagging - praise - grinding - making out - spit - dumbification - kafka is . . kafka - masturbation [f. & m.] - orgasm control - squirting - creampie - mating press - everybody is slightly ooc - not proofread - minors & dark content antis do not interact ! ! !

๐“UTHORโ€™S ๐“OTE ึน ๏น’ เญจเงŽ hihii first full fic ^3^ n first post ! ! so welcome 2 my acc,, m name is echo n iโ€™m pleased to meet u ๐Ÿซก eek โ€˜m so excited, iโ€™ve been sittin n workin on this idea for a while so i hope u enjoy it ! i listened to kiss land by the weeknd writing this and i think it fits rly well sooo >_o this is dark content so viewer discretion advised ! please donโ€™t read if not ur taste T_T im posting this later than expected m soo sry :c reblogs n feedback very appreciated cuz the guidelines r gna get mi < / 3 ! !

๐“”CHOES ึน ๏น’ เญจเงŽ kiss land , the weeknd - valentina , daniel caesar - fill the void , the weeknd - sdp interlude , travis scott - the worst guys , childish gambino & chance the rapper .

๐“ฆORD ๐“’OUNT ึน ๏น’ เญจเงŽ 20.7k+

THE PARTY & THE AFTER PARTY เณ€ Kafka & Blade โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ€˜oh Girl, Donโ€™t Hold Back - Let
THE PARTY & THE AFTER PARTY เณ€ Kafka & Blade โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ€˜oh Girl, Donโ€™t Hold Back - Let

SHE CARRIES A distinct scent with her: cinnamon, champagneโ€ฆand a twinge of mischief. It flurries in the air and infects your brain like the plague. She had this certain cadence about her: an aura drawn up in a slick figure and even slicker tongue, characterized by a sultry red color. That was Kafka. She's a bombshell, delivering a traumatic shock that you can only hope to forget. You tried to forget โ€” tried to cloud that era of your life to no avail. She kicked down the rock blockade you'd built, welcoming herself into your life again with an impressive amount of effort.

โ€œElio said she has nowhere to go! She can't stay with him because he moved into a one-bedroom after the divorce! She's about to be couch-hopping at 22 โ€” itโ€™s sad!!โ€ your mother whined. Her emphasis lay on certain words, pathetic tones emanating from the manipulation of her words. You're weak, standing hunched with a backbone made of cotton candy. โ€œBut, momโ€”โ€ โ€œAnd she begged Elio not to bother usโ€”bother youโ€”but he did it anyway because weโ€™re always family. Family needs each other, family depends on one another.โ€

She'd pestered a yes out of you, and since the syllable passed through your lips, you've been counting your blessings.

After all, Kafka was an all-devouring curse: blessings were her kryptonite.

Exactly one week later, you bit your nails anxiously and breathed deeply so much so that you got lightheaded. It's been years, she may have changed, you comforted yourself. Your mind worked on its splintering tooth and nail to soothe your wild imagination. Kafka was always going to be Kafka โ€” it was just a matter of whether she developed or if she enabled perversion.

When she engulfed you in a hug you almost passed out smelling her again. Hearing her was another thing, seeing her was even worse. Smelling her โ€” that warm, spicy scent that burns but entices was the pinch to reality you needed. In the flesh, Kafka stood. In all of her menacing glory - ready to flip your world upside down.

โ€œMissed you, little mouse. Ugh, howโ€™ve you been?โ€ you fought the urge to shiver. The nickname and her ever-tickling tone โ€” God, you weren't prepared.

โ€œGood,โ€ is all you muttered. โ€˜Way better before.โ€™ you wanted to add.

โ€œMmm, good, I'm glad. I got nervous when Mom said my baby moved out all alone.โ€

My baby. You could really justโ€ฆdie. She was just as charismatic as before. Possibly even more, given her blatant maturity. You would think it was a play on your age, but truly it was endearment from her: her form of caring for you.

โ€œWho would've thought weโ€™d be living together again? Weโ€™re gonna have so much fun!โ€ In the giggle that slipped from her throat, lies mischief. She picks up a box out of the trunk, turning on her heels with the biggest, most Kafka smile ever. She was alwaysโ€ฆunique in her definitions of fun. One could only imagine the roller coaster you were riding.

When you make your way to your apartment, you just breathe. Breathing is the only thing that can stabilize you. The jumble of nerves that bounce around inside of you relaxes at your exhales. You're not shaking anymore, or feeling your skin heat and clam up, making it easy to lead Kafka into her room.

โ€œOh, wow. All this space, all alone? You've really grown up, little mouse.โ€ She compliments with a sigh. The box in her hands now sits on the ground. You flush, dusting your hands on your shirt, โ€œOh, thanks. Mom helps from time to time.โ€ Even though you would much rather have your independence.

She looks around at the space, the room occupied by nothing except a naked bed and an empty dresser. It's an awkward 30-second silence before she breaks it, โ€œThank you, again. You're really saving my ass,โ€

And again, you're wrapped in Kafkaโ€™s arms, forced to awkwardly pat her back and stare at the wall across from you as if it were to save you. โ€œNo problemโ€ฆagain,โ€

The hug you share births goosebumps on your skin. Her hands glide across the small of your back, nimble fingers dancing lightly across the surface. The tickle is the least of your worries โ€” the blooms of heat that surge in her wake are what blows your eyes wide open. Kafkaโ€™s hugs are tight and warm. Almost comforting if it wasn't for the way she ghosted her lips over your ear just right, making you tense. You hate it because it's something you've grown used to. You like it a lot more than you probably should, actively leaning into her touch after a few seconds.

โ€œWe should probably get the rest of your boxesโ€ฆโ€ You mutter. Kafka sighs, pulling off of you slowly. It's almost as if she's savoring the feeling of you in her hands. โ€œIโ€™ll get them. I shouldn't inconvenience you moreโ€”โ€

โ€œโ€”Itโ€™s fine. I don't mind helping,โ€ She laughs and squishes your cheeks between her fingers, โ€œYou're too cute.โ€ booping your nose for emphasis.

And she couldn't stop saying it. It almost felt condescending the way โ€œYou're so cute,โ€ fell from her lips every time you did something. Your out-of-breath huffs or triumphant sighs elicited the remark again and again as you hauled her luggage up to your apartment. You gave up by the last box and stretched out on her floor, and Kafka only laughs harder as she begins to unpack.

โ€œDo you want me to help you?โ€ You groggily breathe out. Moving is exhausting, and you're not even the one moving.

Tucking the sleeves of the shirt as she folds, Kafka shakes her head no with a chuckle. โ€œYou can help me by showering. I'll finish up and order some food, โ€˜kay? Consider it my thanks.โ€

โ€œBut you've already thanked meโ€”โ€ โ€œโ€”And I'm doing it again.โ€ She cuts you off. Your eyes meet and she cracks a smile, โ€œCโ€™mon, up you go. The longer you take, the longer you have to wait to sleep.โ€

Kafka is someone impossible to argue with. You swipe your tongue over your teeth to fight off a smileโ€ฆbut her gaze is warm. It makes you nervous in the weirdest way, and your lips stretch wide. Defeatedly, you nod, โ€œIf you say so.โ€

เณ€

The sun retired for the night and in an hour, you'd showered, dressed, met Kafka in the living room, caught up with a shot or two slipped in the mix, and dug into the XL pizza she ordered. It was your favorite toppingsโ€”you were shocked, to say the least, that she remembered.

โ€œEnough about me,โ€ She grabs hold of the conversation, placing her plate down on the coffee tableโ€”and you hide the cringing your face defaults to with a crooked smile and nod. โ€œWhat about you? How was finishing high school? Starting university? Is Mom stillโ€ฆMom?โ€

You awkwardly giggle, placing the plate in your lap. โ€œThe answer to the last question is yes. She's never changing, I fear.โ€

โ€œButโ€ฆI've been good, really. I keep saying it but it's true; grades are good, friends are good, and Mom is as good as she could getโ€”โ€ more laughter, โ€œโ€”but, yeah. I'm not traveling like you, Kafka. I barely leave my apartment unless it's to go to class. I'm stable, and I'm good. Nothing to tell.โ€

Kafka eyes you critically as if she's trying to read you. There's nothing to find because as you said, there's nothing to tell. You've always been the stickler goody-two-shoes type: abiding by rules and expectations and never deviating from your white-picket-lined path. It wasn't perfect, and never always good, but it was enough. Enough that you could say with your whole chest that you're okay with being boringโ€ฆbecause, wellโ€”itโ€™s all you've really known.

She walked into your life as your sister at eleven and walked right back out at fifteen. In four years, you'd been enlightened to a dark side of the world, but you were always too timid. Kafka was a playful cat, ready to paw at her sheepish little mouse until you played back.

Back then, you were too young, and under the palm of your mother to enter rebellion. Now, you're freeโ€ฆsomewhat. Kafka was determined to help you spread your wings. She was going to plant the seed in your ear and let it sprout: โ€œItโ€™s your world,โ€ She says. โ€œisn't it about time you live? The way you want to? You're a big girl now โ€” you deserve a story to tell.โ€

She can tell by the widening of your eyes that the conversation is bordering on too much. โ€œUhh, I don't know. I'm happy right nowโ€”โ€

โ€œHappiness is temporary. Memories are forever.โ€

And while she makes a good pointโ€ฆwhat exactly would you do? How?

Her head tilts and her eyebrow lifts tentatively. She wants to ask how far are you willing to go, but the conversation is far too premature. โ€œIt all depends on you, little mouse,โ€ is what she settles on instead. โ€œIโ€™ll be ready to lend a helping hand when you need me.โ€

The conversation takes a thoughtful pause. Your head seems to fill with thoughts and returning to her now chilled pizza, Kafka pats herself on the back. You're going to spread your wings and flourish, and she prides herself on giving you the route. It's only a matter of time, she thinks. A matter of time before the real fun emerges.

โ€œOh, by the way,โ€ she interrupts the silence, โ€œdo you mind if I have a few friends over tomorrow? They wanna throw me a housewarming party.โ€

โ€œUm, no, it's fine. My study group is coming over tomorrow after my classes so try maybe before? Or after thatโ€”we won't take long.โ€ You miss the deviousness in her smirk.

With a final bite of her pizza, she nods. โ€œOf course.โ€

เณ€

Jing Yuan is so charming.

He flashes you a Cheshire smile and you find yourself stumbling over your sentences. You palm your face, embarrassed, and let out a shy giggle. His deep chuckle follows and you almost don't want to look at him again.

Fu Xuan kisses her teeth and rolls her eyes. โ€œLay off the flirting, would you? Can't leave you two alone for a second...โ€

She joins the pair of you at the end of the courtyard, golden eyes narrowing. There's an awkwardness that creeps up, and you smile nervously while Jing Yuan scratches his neck. He displays a coy smirk that you avoid looking at โ€” opting to rock on your heels and check in the distance for Yukong.

You and Jing Yuan are classmates; friends, even, if he were to agree with that sentiment. Though your crowds don't particularly mix, you find some comfort in one another. Albeit, most of your time is spent tutoring him. It's nice, nonetheless.

You're not opposed to liking himโ€”in fact, you're smitten with himโ€”but you doubt the feeling is mutual. He's Jing Yuan and you'reโ€ฆyou.

His question reaches your ears, breaching your train of thought: โ€œIs Yukong still joining us?โ€

The way he turns to you makes you shy, and you shrug in place of your words. โ€œUmm, โ€˜dunno. She said so, but something mustโ€™ve come up.โ€

โ€œWell, in any case, letโ€™s just head to yours. She has the address.โ€ Fu Xuan replies exasperatedly. Jing Yuan shrugs, โ€œIf thatโ€™s okay with you?โ€

You perk up at his kindness, and Fu Xuan groans, rolling her eyes. โ€œUh, yeah! Sure!โ€ With your eyes glued to Jing Yuanโ€™s pleased smile, you miss how Fu Xuan mocks you.

โ€œCan we go now?!โ€

The three of you quickly commute back to your apartment. It's a nice fifteen-minute walkโ€”even nicer when Jing Yuan let you talk his ear off the entire way. Fu Xuan was paces ahead of the two of you, grumbling under her breath about how she should've said no and cursing to Yukong for leaving her with you.

You've been studying together for a while, but you've never brought them over. Your sessions usually take place at the campus library or the local cafe, so to say you're a bit nervous is an understatement.

Not only have they never been over, but you have Kafka. Sheโ€™s a wildcard and you can only pray that she's on her best behavior.

Your key spins in the hole and you push the door open. Over your shoulder, you mutter, โ€œI think myโ€ฆsisterโ€™s home so she might come and say hi.โ€

You hope that's the most that sheโ€™ll do.

Upon entry, there's a potent, herbal smell floating around the air. It's slightly smoky, and your throat tightens up. You turn around at your guests and cringe at their upturned noses and scrutinizing gazes. โ€œUhhโ€ฆโ€

โ€œWait right hereโ€ฆumโ€ฆโ€ you murmur. You don't wait for their responses before speeding toward Kafkaโ€™s room.

The stench is stronger in the hallway and her music is even louder. The bass jumps through the floorboards and you doubt sheโ€™ll even hear your knocks โ€” but you do it anyway. Knock knock knock.

No response.

You bounce on your heels nervously, peeking out and seeing Jing Yuan and Fu Xuan talking awkwardly by the door. Your nerves overcome you and you hurriedly knock again. โ€œKafka! I need to talk to you โ€” Kafka!!โ€

You keep knocking on the door until the music stops and the door swings open. A cloud of smoke hits you immediately and you fall into a coughing fit, waving the smoke out of your face. โ€œGood Godโ€ฆโ€

โ€œOhโ€”my bad!โ€ She laughs at you, turning over her shoulder to her friends and sharing the amusement. Her heavy-lidded eyes fall back onto you, and she leans on the door for support. โ€œWhat do you need, little mouse?โ€

โ€œUmโ€ฆโ€ you look over her shoulder and see her guests in her room. A silver-haired girl rests on her bed and types away on her phone, and a black-haired guy sits on the floor - his low eyes on you as he breathes out a cloud of smoke. You didn't know what to expect but you aren't surprised. You're moreโ€ฆuncomfortable. โ€œUm, yeah โ€” my study group is over and it smells likeโ€ฆyeah.โ€

Her eyes widen and she slaps a hand over her mouth. โ€œThat's right now?! Oh, I'm sorryโ€”Silvie and Bladie came over early and I didn't know youโ€™d be back so soon.โ€

Silvie and Bladieโ€ฆinteresting names.

You nod to her response. โ€œโ€ฆYeahโ€ฆI don't mind youโ€ฆsmoking or whatever but please open a window? It's very strong and it travels and I don't want the landlord to throw a fit.โ€

โ€œYeah, of course. Bladie!โ€ She calls out over her shoulder. The guyโ€”Bladieโ€”doesnโ€™t respond, but only perks up. โ€œCrack open the window, yeah?โ€

And he justโ€ฆcomplies. You're almost amazed at how he just listened and pushed the glass open, the cool evening breeze drafting into the bedroom instantly.

Kafka turns around as though it is normal. โ€œThere we go,โ€ She giggles.

โ€œThanks.โ€ You mutter, nodding your head. She winks at you as she shuts the door. You hear her shutting down a remark made byโ€ฆSilvie and a barrage of laughter.

You make your way to the door where, thankfully, Jing Yuan and Fu Xuan still stand.

โ€œEverything alright?โ€ Jing Yuan asked. He immediately turns to face you, and suddenly your good mood sparks back up. You nod, โ€œMhm. She has a few friends over too butโ€ฆIโ€™m sure it won't be too bad.โ€

You welcome them in, all piling into your living room and crowding around the dining table.

Jing Yuan pulls his laptop out of his bag and sets it on the table. โ€œI did awful on the last testโ€ฆโ€ he informs, presumably going back to the gradebook. โ€œ55%โ€ฆโ€

Fu Xuan bursts into laughter. โ€œNo wonder you need both of us to help you study! Good lord!!โ€

You ignore her teasing and pull out your books. โ€œWhat do you need help with?โ€

She's quick to cut him off, โ€œClearly everything if that grade is anything to go byโ€ฆ!โ€

โ€œXuan, stop!!โ€

Her laughter continues, and Jing Yuan waves her off. โ€œThe musings of a jealous nobody don't affect me,โ€ and now it's your turn to laugh. โ€œI'm here to get help so I don't mind going through everything. If you're okay with that, of course.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s fine, yeahโ€”Iโ€™m fine with that! Um, let me just get myโ€ฆโ€ You trail off, sifting through your bundles of papers in your folders. You try to ignore the burn his gaze lays on your skin. He props his head on his fist as he leans on your table and God, does it make you feel special.

Fu Xuan bites back at his remark, โ€œI'm not jealous and I'm definitely not a nobody! Watch your mouth, Jing Yuan!!โ€

And now it's your turn to internally curse Yukong.

โ€œHere we go!โ€ You pull out the review packets you made yourself โ€” something you pride yourself on. You lay them on the table for him, eliciting a difference in reactions from your guests.

Fu Xuan sees the packets and rolls her eyes, โ€œOnly you would make your own review packets.โ€

And Jing Yuan instead muses at the sight, โ€œNoโ€”itโ€™s cool. Resourceful. I like that.โ€

And I like you, you want to say. You decide to keep that to yourself and only smile in response to play coy.

โ€œThis one is from the first couple of lessons, these two were for the quizzes, and the rest are for a few lessons in between.โ€ You inform, pointing at each packet. โ€œI also have some flashcards and some annotations; let me find themโ€ฆโ€

โ€œLook, all you need to do is read the textbooks. All the information is in there.โ€ Fu Xuan argues, taking one of your packets for herself and flipping through it. โ€œDo you read, Jing Yuan?โ€

โ€œI read, thank you very much.โ€

โ€œYeah, so do I โ€” but that doesn't help everyone, Xuan.โ€ You snatch the packet out of her hand, laying it on the table. โ€œBut whatever. Do you think this will help you?โ€

Jing Yuan nods, gratefully. He takes a packet for himself, flipping through it. โ€œYou mind showing me how you use them?โ€

And with a flustered smile, you nod, immediately scooting closer to direct him.

You show Yuan your method: using his notebook to write down what he remembers, going back and adding things he didn't remember, and working out everything in between with what's in the packet. Your mother taught you the method during your eighth-grade year after your grades slipped and since then, you've sworn by it.

Fu Xuan uses this time to tease and ridicule him, occasionally aiding with herโ€ฆaggressive technique whenever he stumbles over a particular concept.

You share some laughs and rambles along the way, and youโ€™re given a side of Jing Yuan you never thought youโ€™d get. He's surprisingly easy to talk to, and you don't know if he's actually that funny or if you're just that into him โ€” but either way, you enjoy it. He makes your cheeks hot and your smile wider.

Heโ€™s always been your campus crush โ€” but heโ€™s everybodyโ€™s. You're not special but the way he's looking at you makes you feel as such. You hope that maybe heโ€™ll ask you to tutor him again and maybe itโ€™ll just be the two of you. Without Fu Xuanโ€™s teasing and complaints.

After about an hour, he starts to get the hang of it. Heโ€™s focused and his attentiveness leaves you and Fu Xuan the time to talk.

You drown out her complaints about the sorority not allowing her in to focus on the presence of Kafkaโ€™s friend in your kitchen. She stands on her tippy-toes to rummage through your cabinets, groaning and slamming her palms on the countertop. โ€œUhhโ€ฆdo you need something?โ€

The girl turns around, โ€œFood! Where the hell are all of your snacks?!โ€

โ€œUmโ€ฆโ€ You don't get to respond. She stomps into your living room, shoving her hand into the bag of pretzels Fu Xuan brought. โ€œExcuse me!!!โ€

She shoves the handful in her mouth, crunching obnoxiously. โ€œThose are so fucking dryโ€ฆโ€ She complains, turning back into your kitchen and rummaging through your fridge.

Your last Kombucha is taken, popped open, and gulped down right before your eyes. You were going to drink that.

With an unabashed burp, the girl sets the bottle down and turns to you. โ€œHey, little mouse!โ€

โ€œThat's not my nameโ€”โ€

โ€œCan you order some food, please? I feel like I'm being fucking punished.โ€ And she continues to ramble, โ€œWas I a bad girl? Do bad girls not get to eat?โ€ And she falls into a fit of laughter.

You're uncomfortable. You know Fu Xuan and Jing Yuan must be too. This is just awkward, and embarrassing on your behalf.

โ€œCan you get some pizza? Ooh, no, better yet, chili oil beef stew. Do they deliver that?โ€ No. The answer is no. โ€œHold on, Iโ€™ll get the money.โ€

She scurries back into Kafkaโ€™s room with a heavy slam of the door. The three of you turn to each other, and you nervously laugh. How embarrassing.

โ€œIs that your sister?โ€ Jing Yuan asks. Oh God, he probably feels so uncomfortable.

โ€œNo! That's her friendโ€ฆsorry about that.โ€

โ€œShe needs to pay me for a new bag of pretzels! I don't know where her hands have been and I'm definitely not eating that.โ€ Fu Xuan huffs, crossing her arms and crumpling up the bag. You laugh at how she lightens the mood, but turn your gaze to Jing Yuan who's now focused back on his work. Great. You blew it.

Out comes Kafkaโ€™s friend, stomping toward you and shoving some bills into your chest. โ€œHere you go! Keep the change,โ€

You don't want her change. But you don't protest โ€” instead, you call up Delicacy Pavillion. โ€œHi, can I place an order?โ€

เณ€

The walk back to your apartment from Delicacy Pavillion feels like a walk of shame. You're even more ashamed because Jing Yuan decided to tag along and Fu Xuan decided to take her cue and leave. Now you're alone. With him. In the middle of the evening. Picking up delicious food for your ex-step-sister and her friends.

He offered to walk with youโ€”โ€œI don't mind. Besides, what kind of guy would I be if I let a pretty girl like you go out all by yourself?โ€ You're not strong enough to deny his flattery, and so here you are.

Now that Xuan is gone, you don't know what to talk to him about. Or how to talk to him. You opt to keep your mum, humming a song youโ€™d heard in passing lowly to yourself. Five minutes away and this day will finally be over.

โ€œAre you and your sister close?โ€ He breaks the silence.

You turn to him, โ€œAh, well โ€” sheโ€™s not really my sister. Our parents were married for a while but they divorced now. A while ago, actually. We aren't close butโ€ฆyeah.โ€

โ€œInterestingโ€ฆโ€ He comments. โ€œYeahโ€ฆโ€

โ€œI don't mean interesting in a bad wayโ€”Iโ€™m interestedโ€ฆin you.โ€

Oh.

Oh.

โ€œYou're interestedโ€ฆin me?โ€ Your heart is practically jumping out of your chest. You can't hide the flattered smile that curls your lips.

He chuckles, stuffing his hands in his pockets and throwing his head back. โ€œHa, yeah. Of course โ€” how couldn't I be? You're sweet, very smartโ€ฆโ€ He turns to look at you. Your eyes lock, โ€œโ€ฆvery cute, too.โ€

It's like he wants you dead.

You immediately avert your gaze, nudging him in the side. โ€œYou're just messing with me.โ€

โ€œIf that's what you believe.โ€ He shrugs, a playful grin resting on his face.

Now you don't know what to believe. But you're going to choose to believe that he means it.

โ€œI'm interested in you too.โ€ You sweetly proclaim, unable to wipe the big grin off of your face. His cheeks flush a pretty rose color, and his smile turns coy. The quiet you two fall into is much more comfortable and much lighter, and now you wish that your time with him won't end.

The pair of you make it to your apartment building, and when you stand in the elevator, you avoid his gaze. He watches you through the reflection of the elevator doors, and his smirk grows as he watches you try not to look at him.

He takes a step closer to you and when his hand swings your fingers brush and you almost drop the bag full of food. He knows how to make you flustered and how to make you smiley.

โ€œCute,โ€ He mutters. He's not the only one who thinks that.

Jing Yuan does the gentlemanly thing and walks you to your door. As soon as you fish your keys out of your pocket, he pulls you into a hug. His arms are big and muscular and so warm โ€” you immediately hug him back and wrap your arms around his waist.

โ€œSee you,โ€ He says, rubbing the small of your back. You timidly respond, โ€œSee you.โ€

The smile on your face is prominent even as he walks away. Even as you walk into your apartment, coming face to face with a ruckus you never thought youโ€™d have the displeasure of walking into.

Kafka and her guy friend are planted on the couch, the strong smoke smell clearly following them into the living room. And the girlโ€ฆshe lay on the floor still swiping away โ€” but as soon as you closed the door behind you, she hopped up. โ€œYesโ€”fucking finally!โ€

She bolts over to you and steals the bag out of your hand, โ€œThank fuck!! I'm so damn hungry!!!โ€

Kafka gets up, her guy friend immediately following. She smiles at you, coming to wrap you in a hug. โ€œOhhh, thank you, babe.โ€ And she plants a firm kiss on your cheek. You feel the stain of her lipgloss on your skin, and cringe at it, only nodding and smiling as if to say โ€œYou're welcome.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m going to shower and go to bedโ€ฆso uh, can you keep it down some?โ€ You say, walking in the direction of the bathroom.

They barely hear you and focus on digging into their food. With a defeated sigh, you stalk away.

And with your back turned, the strict gaze on your disappearing frame is missed.

Heโ€™ll see you again, though.

เณ€

โ€œI want you to formally meet my friends,โ€ Not even a greeting as you entered the door. A hi, hello, or how was your day? would have been nice.

โ€œHello to you too, Kafka.โ€ You quip, taking off your shoes and stretching your aching toes.

โ€œHi, little mouse,โ€ she sarcastically chirps. She places her drink on the coffee table and you try to ignore the lack of a coaster - instead bracing yourself for the embrace she pulls you in. โ€œMm, you seem tense; your day went okay?โ€

You nod. Not quite, is the answer you hold on your tongue, swallowing it down and hiding a grimace beneath your smile.

Jing Yuan hadn't spoken to you all day. He didn't even look at you โ€” his attention was focused on Tingyun. Pretty, brown-haired Tingyun with the charming smile and warmest auraโ€ฆsheโ€™s now your competition, and from what you saw today, sheโ€™s leagues ahead of you. Hanging off of his arm like it's her lifeline and encapsulating his gaze in the palm of her hand. You almost stormed out of the lecture when her hands brushed his cheeks, her thumb swiping over his beauty mark.

He's just trying to make you jealous. That thought was supposed to comfort you but it made you even more upset. As soon as your professor shut his mouth you were out of there, leaving dust in your wake as you sped toward the library.

You needed to decompress and distract yourself. You were buried in a book when a touch you remembered too well landed on your shoulder. โ€œI was looking for you.โ€ He says.

Looking for me my ass, you think. But the sentiment warms you, nonetheless, and a smile pulls across your lips. โ€œHere I am.โ€

โ€œHere you are,โ€ The tone of his voice makes you want to rip the hair off of your scalp. He's so sweetly condescending, so sultry and you can just get lost in his melody. He's like Kafka that wayโ€”wait. Nevermindโ€ฆ

โ€œCan I take you out tomorrow night?โ€ The suddenness of his question has you jostled, and the substance of the question has you flustered. Jing Yuan wants to take you out???

You're mad at him, though. He can just take Tingyun for all you caโ€”โ€œOf courseโ€”er, I mean, sure. Why not?โ€

Fuck.

He chuckles at your stumbling, burying his hands in his pockets. His forearms scream at you as they clearly come into your line of sight โ€” the image to be cherished and forever forefronted in your memory. Why is every part of him so attractive? โ€œGreat. Iโ€™ll text you later.โ€

And he squeezes your shoulder as he walks in the opposite direction. Fucking hell.

You're just pissed off. At yourself, at Tingyun, at Jing Yuan โ€” you hate that he made you giddy and excited and you couldn't stop smiling to yourself even as you walked home alone.

He asked you, not Tingyun. Surely, if he wanted her, heโ€™d be taking her out tomorrow, not you.

โ€œSo, tomorrow atโ€ฆ5? Is that cool?โ€

What? โ€œHuh? Sorry,โ€

Kafka sighs, โ€œI want you to meet my friends. Itโ€™ll be likeโ€ฆtotally chill and just cool so don't freak out and think some type of formal meet-the-parents shit.โ€

โ€œIs tomorrow at 5 good for you?โ€ Youโ€™d be wrong if you said no. Kafka is trying. โ€œYeah, um, I guess,โ€

โ€œYay! This wasn't my idea, by the way โ€” they want to meet you,โ€ They do? โ€œReally?โ€

She walks back over to the couch and plops down, downing a gulp of her pink Monster Energy. โ€œMhm. Silver wants to know how we could ever be sisters, and Bladieโ€ฆโ€ She takes a pause, having a short laugh to herself, โ€œLetโ€™s just say heโ€™s taken a liking to you.โ€

You're confused by her statement but you don't press further. You're not sure you want to know.

โ€œUmโ€ฆIโ€™m going out tomorrow, so,โ€ โ€œWe wonโ€™t keep you long,โ€ She shrugs.

Your subtly doesnโ€™t work wellโ€”you mean to decline the offer. โ€œOkay then,โ€

You begin to awkwardly walk to your bedroom, Kafkaโ€™s voice following you down the hall. โ€œHey, are you hungry?โ€

โ€œIโ€™m good.โ€ You answer back. As good as you could be.

โ”„โ”„

With the nth layer of lip gloss slathered across your lips, you break into a smile at your reflection.

Youโ€™re pretty.

All dolled up: not a single fly-away or stray, cheek-housed eyelash, flawless base, and a perfectly ironed outfit describe your appearance. You spent the better half of your afternoon in the bathroom shaving, plucking, exfoliating, and giggling to yourself about your date with Jing Yuan.

Youโ€™ve never looked better. You don't think youโ€™ve smiled this much in your life.

โ€œYou look so pretty, babe!โ€ Yukong chimes. Her eyes gleam over the pixelated image on your phone. โ€œSo, what type of date is it? โ€ฆIt is a date, right?โ€

โ€œWell, he didn't say it was a dateโ€”but he asked to take me out. What does that mean if not a date?โ€ It's all semantics. Date schmate; at the end of the day it's you and him together. Alone. โ€œHe didn'tโ€ฆdiscuss the details. All I know is that heโ€™s coming at 5:30 to get me.โ€

Interestingโ€ฆ

โ€œItโ€™s kindaโ€ฆsexy. Like ooh, surprise me.โ€ You add, giggling.

Rightโ€ฆ

โ€œIf you say soโ€ฆโ€ Yukong sighs out. You laugh, missing the sarcasm thick in her tone.

โ€œWell, anyway, I should get going.โ€ You check the time: the digital numbers read 5:05. You're early, but, heyโ€” better safe than sorry. โ€œCall you later, love you!โ€

Yukong smiles and throws up a peace sign and ends the Facetime.

The hefty laughter from the other side of your door bulldozes through your silence, reminding you. Damn it.

Another small smile in the mirror and you get up from your vanity. You grab your clutch and walk out and into an atmosphere of laughter andโ€ฆblueberries?

You wave the scent out of your face, and as if it were perfectly timed, the chatter died down and heads turned to you. Your hand fell to your side and you immediately made eye contact with her.

โ€œOhh, little mouse!!!โ€ Kafka squeals, dragging out the nickname sing-songily. She skips to you, a hand nudging your shoulder. โ€œLook at you!! Look at her guys!โ€ She turns to her friends, grinning wide.

The pair raise their heads, faces morphing in opposite ways of one another in response. The silver-haired girl takes a brief puff from her seemingly blueberry-scented e-cigarette, โ€œWoww, would you look at that?โ€

She turns to the guy beside her with an escaping smile, โ€œYou clean up nice, little mouse.โ€ She compliments.

You cringe at the nickname leaving her lips, nodding. โ€œThanksโ€ฆโ€

โ€œWhat do you think, Bladie?โ€ Kafka calls out, one arm pulling you close to her and the other swiping down in a showcasing movement. He perks up instantly and looks completely uncomfortable. He avoids looking into your eyes at all costs.

You feel bad. You tuck your clutch under your arm and raise your hands in defense, โ€œNo, no, it's okay. Kafkaโ€ฆyou shouldn'tโ€ฆโ€

โ€œNopeโ€”itโ€™s only right I tease you like this,โ€ She rebuts. Her grin shortens to a smirk and her hand squeezes your arm, pulling you closer. โ€œMomโ€™s not here; somebodyโ€™s gotta be the one to nag,โ€

It's a good thing your mother is not here. You moved out to get away from her. You only awkwardly laugh in response, shooting an awkwardly apologetic face toward Bladie.

โ€œUhโ€ฆpretty,โ€ He comments. โ€œYou look nice.โ€

It's only now that you realize you haven't heard his voice yet. And, woah. Wow.

โ€œU-um, thank you. Haโ€ฆโ€ You stumble out, growing flustered at your stuttering.

Kafka laughs, sending a look towards him that you miss. โ€œAnyway,โ€ she diverts, โ€œthese are my two companions: Silver and Blade.โ€ She points at the pair respectively and they each emote.

โ€œThe two most important people in my life. After you, of course,โ€ She informs, fingers nipping at the fat of your cheek teasingly. โ€œWhat about Elio?โ€

She shrugs. โ€œOh, yeah. Him too,โ€ and she and Silver burst into laughter.

Kafka introduces you to them after the laughter dies down, making sure to include โ€œMy little sister,โ€

โ€œEx-step-sister-now-roommate,โ€ you correct. Silver chortles at your sass and Kafka sends you a narrowed stare. โ€œYou're right. My favorite ex-step-sister-now-roommate: my little mouse,โ€

โ€œWait, you mean to tell me you have other ex-step-sisters-now-roommates?โ€ Silver jokes, laughing at her own joke. She slaps Blade on his arm to urge him to laugh along โ€” to which he maintains his rigid posture and awkwardly avoids the scene.

Kafka walks the pair of you into the room, toward the couch opposite Silver and Blade. You sense an immediate switch; almost as if youโ€™d changed realities. The air was suffocating in a way you couldn't understand. It was something deeper than awkwardness, something less juvenile than embarrassment. It was palpable: it hurt to swallow when you gulped nervously.

Silver blows another cloud of smoke toward your face, and when the fog dissipates you're met with the mischief on her face, โ€œSooo,โ€ she drags, โ€œwhat do you do for a living? This is a nice apartment you got,โ€

Small talk. You can do small talk. โ€œUm, thanks! I mostly do tutoring and babysitting. But sometimes my mom helps out.โ€

Her face crinkles up in confusion. โ€œTutoring pays for all this???โ€

You laugh, โ€œYouโ€™d be surprised at how much people are willing to pay for good grades. I mainly work with middle schoolers who aren't doing too well and their parents are so desperate. Theyโ€™ll pay just about anything.โ€ You slightly exaggerate the circumstances of your job. There's only one kid you tutor regularly and you've already begun discounting him because of his relation to Jing Yuan. It's a good thing Kafka moved in โ€” the rent was beginning to look a bit dangerous.

โ€œOhh, interesting. What a hustler,โ€ Silver jokes. Kafka laughs right alongside her, nudging your side with her elbow. โ€œFitting right in with us.โ€

The group bursts into a fit of laughter โ€” even Blade spits out a few chuckles โ€” and all you can do is awkwardly laugh along. You feel like a sore thumb: dolled up in your pretty blue outfit while your roommate and her friends are dressed in sweats and assortments of band tees. They laugh at a joke you don't quite understand and share glances that speak an entirely different language from you.

You want the time to speed up. You're waiting for Jing Yuan to save you from this awkward tension like the knight in shining armor he is and whisk you off to the date he planned.

Getting out of here would be so nice. You won't have to hear them poke and prod and tease and you wouldn't be scared to look left. Bladeโ€™s gaze is so intense. Goosebumps have risen on your skin from the sheer atmosphere it induces โ€” is he doing this on purpose? He has to be. Kafka must have put him up to it.

It eases you to think that sheโ€™s just being herself: her playful, mischievous, dangerous self. In a week sheโ€™ll get bored, theyโ€™ll stop messing with you, and theyโ€™ll find something else to do. That's the way it's always been with Kafka and it helps you to relax.

But it's his stare. The way his eyes shyly rake you up and down again and again. He drinks in the sight of you and doesn't react โ€” heโ€™s committing you to memory and every time he takes a reprieve, his eyes thirst for more and wander right back to you. Kafka notices it. Silver notices it. You notice it. Everybody but Blade can see the way he looks at you: as though he could eat you whole.

He watches your face light up when your phone buzzes and you pull it out of your clutch. Thank the heavens; itโ€™s Jing Yuan.

โ€˜be there in 10. ;)โ€™ He texts. โ€˜okayyyy <3 see you!โ€™ You text back. Too flirty? Too excited? Oh, God. He hearts your message and your smile grows wider.

Blade wants to say how he wants to be the one to make you smile like that, but it's too early for that. Heโ€™ll opt for admiring you, instead, thinking to himself about how pretty you look grinning so wide and how pretty you probably look with his cโ€”

Knock knock knock. That was fast.

You nearly jump off of the couch to answer the door, skirt flaring in the air as you skip to the door. Kafka watches with amusement thick on her face. You're so cute, a guy like Jing Yuan doesn't deserve you.

The door swings open and there he stands. His hair is pushed into a high ponytail and heโ€™s clad in a simple outfitโ€”but God, does he make it look good. โ€œHey there, pretty girl.โ€

His greeting awakens butterflies in your stomach. โ€œHiโ€ฆโ€ You reply shyly. He smiles at your nervousness and holds his hand out for you to grab, โ€œYou ready to go?โ€ You nod almost immediately.

Before Kafka can open her mouth and trap the two of you there, you announce your departure and leave with a wave, slamming the door behind you. The group all share looks, and her smile can't help but get wider. โ€œSheโ€™s so cute,โ€

โ€œWouldn't you agree, Blade?โ€ Silver teases. Growing embarrassed, he lowers his head. โ€œOh my God!โ€ She laughs, hitting the couch cushion. โ€œYou totally wanna fuck her!โ€

Blade doesn't respond. Silver turns to Kafka mouth wide, eyes blown, โ€œHe wants to fuck your sister, Kaf!โ€ Don't we all?

Kafka sits in between her two friends, placing a warm hand on Bladeโ€™s shoulder. He immediately relaxes but keeps his gaze tied to the ground. โ€œItโ€™s okay, Bladie,โ€

โ€œIt happens to the best of us.โ€

โ”„โ”„

โ€œIโ€™m not going to lie,โ€ Jing Yuan breaks the silence, โ€œI didn't have a clue on what to plan. I just knew I wanted to see you again.โ€

His flattery is out of this world. He has you feeling so special, so wantedโ€”you turn to look at him and just stare in disbelief. The Jing Yuan is driving you in his nice-ass BMW to a date that he asked you out on. Lucky girl syndrome is so real. โ€œItโ€™s okay, Iโ€™m not picky.โ€

โ€œI like that.โ€ He laughs out. โ€œI like you.โ€ His right hand abandons the steering wheel, traveling to your exposed thigh. His touch is light, tempting. Heโ€™s testing the waters, and only does he let his hand rest wholly on your thigh when your breath hitches but you don't stop him. He spares you a glance, a smirk drawn on his face when you briefly lock eyes.

โ€œI think you said that before,โ€ You lighten the mood. Your words sound breathless, clambering out of your throat nervously. โ€œOh, have I?โ€ His hand creeps upward, now sheathing itself beneath your skirt. His fingers tap on your thighs โ€” heโ€™s teasing, waiting for a reaction.

You hum in response, now gluing your eyes to the dashboard because if you look down, you're going to explode.

โ€œGuess I really have to let you know, then.โ€

โ€œGuess so,โ€ You respond. His hand only lies on your leg, not traveling any further. He pulls into the parking lot of the movie theater. Not your idea of the perfect first date, but maybe he has more planned.

You get out, immediately locking hands and walking side by side into the theater. He opens the door for you, leads you to the ticket stand, and the hold on your hand never falters. He uses it to pull you closer, letting his arm drape around your waist and his fingers tap along your skin. Heโ€™s setting you ablaze, burning you with every gesture he does.

You don't even care about the movieโ€”Sky-Faring Commission 8, you thinkโ€”youโ€™re too focused on Jing Yuan. He drapes you in his jacket and wraps his arm around your shoulder when you get seated. He whispers a joke to you about the previews and laughs into your hair to not disturb others around you. And when the movie gets to a particularly boring part, he finds himself leaning on your shoulder.

His lips are featherlight as he ghosts over your skin. You act as though you don't feel it โ€” gluing your eyes to the movie screen. You couldn't care less about the melodramatic climax on the screen. It didn't matter to you, it didn't register in your mind as important. He was so close, breathing in your sweet perfume and brushing his lips against your skin when he smiled. Oh God, you subconsciously lean towards him, letting out a sigh when puckered lips connect with your neck.

He places another kiss, and then another - readjusting his position to lead a trail upwards. The kisses grow larger distances as he eagerly travels to your lips. His hand reaches over and grabs the side of your face. You couldn't turn to look at him on your own: filled with too much anxiety and nerves to bear the connection.

Your eyes lock - a desire in his juxtaposing with the shyness in yours. He needed you, leaning in swiftly and collecting a kiss.

His tongue abrasively weaves its way into your mouth, sloppily licking around and tangling with yours. He was so powerful: overwhelming and all-consuming. You could only sit there weakly, trying your best to keep up with him.

Yuan is no dummy. He can tell you're not all into it. You sit rigidly and lack any eagerness to kiss him back.

โ€œYou nervous?โ€ He whispers against your lips. His hand on your face slips down to your waist with a comforting squeeze in tow. You crack a smile nervously, โ€œNever done this before. Well, like, in this wayโ€ฆโ€

He's quick to recover from the twinge of annoyance that surges within him. โ€œโ€˜Ts okay. I got you,โ€

He leans in, hand slipping to your thigh. It's almost cinematic โ€” the movie flickers in deep reds and blacks as an action sequence plays and your silhouettes form on the wall behind you. He's so close, so tempting that you can't help but take in his words. โ€œIโ€™ll take care of you.โ€ He says. And you fall for it.

And he kisses you even slower, more sultry. There's an enthusiastic flame in his kiss โ€” he just wants you to give it up. Let him take you, let him have you. It's not like you don't want it.

As he kisses go deeper, hungrier with teeth sinking into your lip and lips sucking around your tongue, his hand slinks up your skirt. He plays with the band of your panties, feeling the soft material. His fingers roll and entangle in the fabric, feeling the slight jolt of your hips when his touch caresses your skin.

He shoves his tongue down your throat to keep you silent, pushing his hand further onward and cupping your cunt.

Your thighs immediately crush around his wrist. Heโ€™s trapped in your heat, feeling the throb of your clit against him. He bites your bottom lip with a smile as he presses his palm flat against you. The applied pressure to your clit has the bud stiffening.

God, you want him. You want him so bad.

You have to stop yourself from moaning and squirming. Youโ€™ll literally die if you get caught.

โ€œI want you so bad, baby,โ€ he whispers, pulling away. He kisses your jawline and rubs his hand against your pussy. The feeling is beyond mutual, you think. You can't do this, though. Not here.

You hum in response to him, fearing that any other response may be too loud. Feeling a premature knot gnarl in your stomach makes you panic and grab his arm. You can't cum yetโ€”and definitely not here.

โ€œToo much?โ€ He laughs against your lips. He tries to sink his arm deeper between your thighs and your hips run away. โ€œโ€˜M sorry. How about we get outta here?

Locking eyes with him has you shyly saying yes. You don't have sex on the first dateโ€”Jing Yuan or not.

But your body seems to crave him. To want him and in this circumstance, you can be able to bend your rules. โ€œOkay,โ€

You quickly exit the theater hand in hand with an unimportant amount of time left in the movie. There was a strange feeling swarming in your gut: akin to a thrill with a tickle of unsureness. You chalk it up to butterflies. It's just nervousness because the dream you've held onto ever since you first laid eyes on him is coming to fruition. You've always wanted Jing Yuan. You always wanted to be his.

He drives the car shortly to the parking lot of a shut-down arcade, parking his car and immediately clambering to the backseat with you. It was like he couldn't wait - like he was going to die without you. It's hot.

His hands immediately grab your hips and his lips overtake yours. He slowly lays you against the leather seats, wasting no time. He's making quick and agile movements: hands slipping under your shirt and cupping your breasts and lips wrapping around nips of skin.

You gasp, arching your back into him. โ€œYou're so sexy,โ€ He moans, fondling you messily, needily.

โ€œT-thank youโ€ฆโ€ You stutter out.

He kisses down to the neckline of your shirt, pushing the fabric up and going under to kiss around your chest. His lips replace his hands, the latter rehoming on your thighs and pushing your skirt up. His lips attach and suck around the top of your boob as his hands pry your legs apart, fingers dancing up toward your core.

You moan out softly. His tongue swipes across your flesh and his middle finger walks through your slit. โ€œYouโ€™re so wet,โ€ he comments, pressing your clit down with intense pressure.

A weak whimper dances from your lips and he laughs contently.

He continues to rub your clit while kissing your skin, turning your flames up so high that your body burns to the touch. A sticky sound resonates off of the interior of the car, sloshing grossly as your airy moans attempt to compete with it. Your pussy drips, your hole spasming as he teases you further and further.

You never thought youโ€™d be in Jing Yuanโ€™s backseat about to get finger fuckedโ€”and as much as you want to, you just - you can't.

His finger circles your entrance, ever so teasingly and you tense up. You pull away almost immediately, snapping your legs tightly shut and beginning to sit up. โ€œSorry, Iโ€™m sorry,โ€

Yuan takes a seat opposite from you, brushing his fallen hair out of his face with a huff. He gives you time to adjust your clothes, staring out of the front windshield. He looksโ€ฆbummed, dissatisfied and you feel terrible. โ€œTrust me, it's not a you thing. I justโ€ฆI dunno. I'm not comfortable with what I don't know,โ€

โ€œNah, it's good. You're good.โ€ He sends you a short smile, โ€œDonโ€™t worry about it.โ€

And you don't want to worry about it, but you can't not. There's an obvious tent in his pants and a frustration hidden beneath his appearance โ€” you blue-balled him beyond measure and made it awkward. Heโ€™s probably never asking you out again.

In an attempt to ease the tension, you offer an alternative: โ€œWanna get something to eat? My treat.โ€

Taking a look at you breaks a smile on his face, and he nods. โ€œWhy not?โ€

โ”„โ”„

The date could have gone worse.

That's what you tell yourself as you ride the elevator up to your apartment, alone.

He had to go, he told you. โ€œText me before you go to bed, alright?โ€ And that made you feel better, somewhat. He could have told you to delete his number and never go anywhere with him again, so you count this as a win.

You can't shake the tension, though. It's better than whatever the hell you, Kafka, and her friends had floating around, however, it's just as uncomfortable. The elephant in the room is humongous, but neither of you dare step on its toes. You don't blame him for feeling some type of way, but he shouldn't blame you either, right?

โ€œWelcome back! How was your date?โ€ Kafka questions as you walk in the door. Silver and Blade are still here, the latter on his phone and the former focusing on her strawberry crunch ice cream bar. You wave at Kafka, removing your shoes and remembering you still have Yuanโ€™s jacket. You won't leave it out for it to get dirty with the Three Musketeers running around your apartment.

โ€œIt was good,โ€ you reveal softly. โ€œIโ€™ll tell you about it tomorrow. Iโ€™m really tired so Iโ€™m just gonna go shower and go to bed.โ€

Kafka nods, waving you off, โ€œAlright; good night, little mouse!โ€

You get into your bedroom and don't even think twice. Your clothes are stripped off and strewn across your floor but you make sure to place Yuanโ€™s jacket on your vanity. Your hair goes up and your body wraps in your towel, a quick commute to the bathroom across the hall to wash today off of your body.

Warm water splashes over your skin, soapy clouds run down your body as you scrub. You still feel embarrassed โ€” the scene of you quitting on Yuan replays every time you close your eyes. You're mad at yourself because you know you want him, you always have, and you fumbled your opportunity badly. It's embarrassing for you and him. You fear it's an event you can never forget.

Twenty minutes of pouring the stress and dirt and Jing Yuan down the drain and you're finally ready to sleep. Body clean, pajamas on, makeup off, and skin care on, you climb into bed and immediately grab your phone.

โ€˜just heading to bed c:โ€™ You text. You twiddle your thumbs for half a second before you start typing again: โ€˜i did enjoy our date today btwโ€ฆhope u donโ€™t get the wrong impression cause iโ€™d love to go out w u again <3โ€™

Thatโ€™s good. He knows how you feel, you've said your peace and lifted the weight off of your chest. You turn your phone off and rollover. Off to dreamland you goโ€”

Ding!

Your eyes shoot open. Ding! And now you're rolling back over, grabbing your phone, and squinting at the initial brightness.

โ€˜donโ€™t worry abt it hahaโ€™ He texts back. โ€˜itโ€™s my fault, I shouldโ€™ve askedโ€™

Your fingers press and heart his message, quick to move to the keyboard and begin typing. But before you finish, another text from him rolls in: โ€˜iโ€™m glad you enjoyed it. itโ€™d be my honor to take you out againโ€™

You silently cheer, kicking your feet under your duvet. โ€˜iโ€™ll be holding u to thatโ€™

no need already planning our next one

whatre u thinking?

that takes the fun out of it if i tell you dw i wonโ€™t make you wait long

He's flirting. You're flirting. Even through text, he has you running in circles looking for a response. What do you say? What do you say?!!

good c; don't wanna wait to see u again

โ€˜me neitherโ€™ He starts typing, then stops. Is it over already?

The typing bubble pops up again, and in seconds, his blue message fills your eyes: โ€˜u mind sending a pic?โ€™

Suspicion doesn't address youโ€”instead a feeling of confusion. Where is this conversation goingโ€ฆ?

im in my pajamas lol so not sexy

doesn't have to be, you make something sexy plus the kind of pjs a girl wears tells you all abt her

does it?

mhm

Damn it. You crawl out of bed, turn your lamp on, and step in front of your full-length mirror. A loose-fitting shirt and small house shorts. Nothing extravagant or appealing โ€” just extremely comfortable.

Five attempts at a flattering mirror selfie later, you finally land a picture that satisfies you enough. Immediately to Jing Yuan, it goes, paired with the message โ€˜what do mine say about me?โ€™

You sit back on your bed, crissโ€“cross applesauce as you wait for his response. Three minutes later he likes your message, โ€˜says you're cuteโ€™

thatโ€™s it?

He responds quickly. โ€˜not sure if you wanna take it there hahaโ€™

You're not sure either. โ€˜try meโ€™

It takes him a minute to start typing again โ€” presumably needing to take the time to make a conscious decision before he embarrasses himselfโ€ฆagain.

โ€˜Attachment: 1 Imageโ€™ You immediately click on the image, zooming in only to be met with his bulge. Black boxers stretched around a fat tent in his pants with his big hand resting on top of his lap.

His next message comes in seconds later, โ€˜says you drive me crazy and need me there to make you feel goodโ€™

And the next oneโ€ฆโ€˜it's hard for me to control myself lolโ€™

i just get so turned on by you

Oh. He's taking it there.

โ€˜me tooโ€™ You have to send the text with your head facing the other direction, nearly jumping out of your skin with the confirmation swoosh sound.

โ€˜i don't usually get that wet btwโ€ฆโ€™ You inform. It's a bit of a half-truth; you haven't slept with that many people to gauge how wet you can truly get but you're almost positive you've never soiled your panties like you have today.

He hearts your message and immediately starts typing.

oh rly? what abt now? still wet?โ€™

If the way your thighs are pressing together is anything to go by, the answer is a very enthusiastic yes.

yeah want u so bad

You don't sext โ€” you've never done it before and you are awful with your words. You're nervous despite the wave of boldness that's overcoming you. This is escalating fast, bordering territory you've never crossed.

You should've just gone to bed and texted him the following morning. You should have kept it innocent and not pushed him further. You've opened a can of worms and now it's time to reap the consequences. Fuck.

let me see

Double fuck. Maybe triple. Possibly quadruple.

How the hell are you supposed to show him???

You immediately hop up and move your mirror, repositioning it to stand parallel to your bed. Should you turn the light off? Maybe you should.

You jump onto the bed in the darkness, slithering off your shorts slowly, giving yourself time to stop and preserve your dignity. God, you can't believe you're doing this, you think, setting yourself in the most awkward position to show the wet spot painted on your fresh pink panties.

Flash on and legs in the air, the camera shutters three times. If you weren't embarrassed before, you definitely are now.

You send two of the three photos, tossing your phone into your pillows.

The ding is still audible, followed by two more that make your heart jump.

shit you're so hot baby Attachment: 1 Video

A shaky thumb presses play on the video, immediately adjusting the volume when wispy curses spill from the device. The video shows his unclothed abdomen and his hand in his boxers, rubbing his dick slowly.

You watch with peeled eyes how his stomach rises and falls, abs gnarling as he bucks into his own hand. Twelve-second video. It's a twelve-second video and it seemed to last for an hour.

He sends more texts:

wish it was you are you touching yourself?

No.

yeah doesn't feel as good as when u did it, tho

You ignore the way your cunt clenches around the air and your panties grow increasingly uncomfortable with the slick pooling and seeping.

pretend it is me Attachment: 1 Voice Message

Oh fuck. You lay down, bringing the phone to your ear and dancing your fingers across your stomach in hopes of soothing your nerves. This is a lot. This is probably worse than letting him feel you up and almost finger you in his car.

โ€œโ€˜M gonna help you feel good, okay?โ€ He starts the voice message. You nod as if he can see you, and close your eyes to take in the full experience.

โ€œStart rubbing your clitโ€”go slowly, tight circles, okay,โ€ he pauses, presumably to let you complete the action. The quiet is filled with an airy gasp from you, sensitivity extremely prevalent between your legs. You part your folds and hear how sticky it is, and it's even worse when you let your finger slip in between your labia and press your clit. You moan so loudly you have to bite your lip.

With your thighs instinctively closing on your wrist you roll to your side, burying your face in the pillow as you start to do as he says: slow, tight circles around your sensitive bud. You can hear him spitโ€”presumably in his handโ€”and faint slick sounds in the background. He starts speaking, overpowering the background noise, โ€œFeels good, huh?โ€

โ€œKeep doing that, okay? Keep going until you're about to cumโ€”โ€ He hisses, sucking in a sharp breath, โ€œโ€”fuuuck, baby. I want to fuck you so bad; bet you sound so pretty when you moanโ€ฆโ€

He just turns you on more, leaving you to whimper and further push your face into your pillow, attempting to quiet yourself.

It's been a while since you've had any sexual time โ€” oftentimes too tired or uninterested in tending to your needs even though your body screams at you for a release. You're overly sensitive, clit throbbing angrily and hole spasming thirstily. You need to feel good, to reach nirvana โ€” you needed to let Yuan fuck you and satiate the thirst.

He sounds so good talking to you, moaning for you, working you up to your climax, โ€œPut a finger in, baby. I wanna hear you, too,โ€

You're just horny at this point. You almost waste no time in recording a voice memo, pushing your middle finger into your cunt with a breathy whine, โ€œOh, God,โ€

You start at a slow rhythm, really edging yourself. You huff and whine and whimper all into the speaker, letting him hear every voice crack and deep breath. It feels so good, but it's not enough.

โ€œI wanna be filled,โ€ you manage to say. โ€œโ€˜S not enoughโ€ฆneed you, Yuanie.โ€

Send.

You stop your ministrations as you wait for him to respond, letting yourself come down from the impending climax.

Ding!

fuck

Is all he sends, and then your phone starts ringing. Your reflection in the FaceTime camera has you adjusting your position and putting the phone in a flattering angle, answering the phone with knitted eyebrows and your bottom lip tucked between your teeth. What a performer you are.

When the call connects you're met with his dick. His hand traverses the length eagerly, an angry tip leaking milky white down the shaft and glistening as he jerks himself off. You see him behind his big cock: hair disheveled and face red.

โ€œLet me see your pussy,โ€ his voice is gritty, deeper than usual. His tone is almost demandingโ€”you clearly don't have the luxury of being shy at the moment.

You lower the camera slowly, pushing your panties to the side and letting the radiance of your phone screen show the glistening mess to him. โ€œOh fuck,โ€ he comments, throwing his head back.

โ€œSo pretty, so perfect. I bet you're tight as fuck,โ€ You decide to show him: slipping your index finger in first with a sweet moan, then following up with your middle finger after a few pumps.

You're definitely fuller, but it's not enough.

Your cunt squeezes around your fingers tightly, spilling out a waterfall of arousal. Your ministrations are easy with how wet you are: fingers slipping in and out with little to no resistance, just narrowly missing your sweet spot.

It gets harder to hold back your moansโ€”sounds now coming out as broken cries as you bite intensely on your lip. โ€œI wanna cum,โ€ you sniffle.

โ€œYeah? Cum for meโ€”show me how that pussy creams,โ€ So obscene but so, so incredibly hot.

Your hips buck into your hands and your hold on your phone gets weak. You have to change position: set the device up between your pillows, and put yourself on display

Normally, you would never do something this risky. Maybe it's because of Jing Yuanโ€”or a different potential point of interest just mere feet down the hallโ€”but you feel inclined to jump out of your shell now.

So many years in Kafkaโ€™s shadow and even more in your mother's palm. You're grown up now, independent and you want to be taken seriously. It's the least you deserve and the most you want. He's going to take you seriously; he's going to see how badly you want him and the lengths youโ€™ll go to to show up for him.

You've made a big leap in your behavior and you're prepared to deal with the consequences. No more little mouse, you're not a baby anymore.

It's time to take the world in your palm and bask in the mature gleam. You let the spotlight burn your skin as you work yourself to an orgasm, moaning so carelessly you're probably the center of conversation among Kafka and her friends. And youโ€™d be right; partially, anyway.

Kafka having dozed off with Silver ages ago left Blade up alone, amusing himself with an average social media feed and remnants of a joint. He tried to ignore your soft moans coming from down the hall, but hey, he has keen ears.

He knows it's probably that douchebag you went out with making you sound like that and he can't even get mad about it. He's almost thankful โ€” it's not every day you get to hear the melodies of an angel.

Neediness and curiosity reach all-time highs and urge him to do something he's 100 percent going to regret.

Blade takes light-footed steps toward your bedroom, the moans, and whimpers of you getting louder as he approaches the source. You sound so pretty; he can only imagine the way your face is knitted up and how wet you must be.

He hates himself for doing this, but he eavesdrops: letting an ear rest on the wood of your bedroom door and taking in the sounds you spew out.

He wishes he was on the other side of this door making you sound like that. He'd probably make you wake the entire apartment building upโ€”

โ€œIโ€™m about to cumโ€”! Ngh, oh myโ€”โ€ A sharp whine cuts you off. He wonders: do you squirt? Can you? Can he make you? There's no way possible that dickhead can do it.

โ€œMe tooโ€”oh, shit, baby.โ€ Comes out muffled to Blade, and his eyes roll immediately. Cornball shit, he thinks.

He hadn't pictured you as the phone-sex kind of girl, but with the way that jackass is egging you on, it's no wonder. You're so much better than this, than that guy and all he wants to do is let you know that. Blade is probably no better, but he can try. He can change for you and do right by youโ€”in every aspect.

Your whimpers grow pitchier and you're puffing out deep breaths. You soundโ€ฆoverstimulated. He can imagine your toes curling and thighs trembling as you fuck yourself, squeezing your eyes shut with swollen lips. Your pussy is probably leaking a river, covering your ass, and staining your (probably) dainty white sheets. What he would give to make you feel good, let alone look at you.

โ€œYuanโ€”!! I'mcummingImcummingImcumming!!!โ€ You squeal, muffling yourself with a hard slap over your mouth.

Blade doesn't even realize he's begun to palm his cock and roll his hips into his hand. โ€œOhโ€ฆโ€ he quietly moans, letting his head fall onto your door.

Shit. He has to leave now, hearing you yelp at the sound and shuffle around. No use trying to hide, so he makes an escape: walking fast out of the front door without a second thought. Greatโ€”now he has to drive home with a rock-hard dick.

And you gather yourself. Hanging up the phone with Jing Yuan and walking to your door awkwardly due to the mess between your legs.

Cleaning yourself up in the bathroom and avoiding your reflection in the mirror, you think back to that sound. It was a knock, right?

Kafka and Silver lay on opposite ends of the same couch, curled under your throw blanket which is much too small for them. Blade is nowhere to be foundโ€ฆhuh. Weird.

โ€œHey, Kaf,โ€ you shake your roommate awake over the back of the couch. She moans and rolls over, slowly peeling her sleepy eyes open, โ€œhmm?โ€

โ€œWere you at my door just now?โ€ The red-head shakes her head no, pulling the blanket over her shoulders and away from Silver.

If it wasn't herโ€ฆโ€œWhereโ€™s Bladie?โ€ She questions, noticing his absence.

You shrug. โ€œHe probably left earlier.โ€

Even half-asleep, Kafka has double the brain you do. You can't see what's right in front of you.

She smiles, shuffling again and closing her eyes. โ€œAlright, then. Good night.โ€

โ€œNight,โ€

เณ€

With a week left until spring break, you cherish the time you've spent this last month or so living.

It feels like the first time, in all of your nineteen years of living, that you are living. Your smiles are brighter, your days are happier, and you're living every second to its fullest extent in absolute bliss.

Almost every week you're on a date with Jing Yuan. He's practically your boyfriend, but there's no official label so you keep that thought process to yourself.

Lowkey dates with him that slightly escalate have become your norm. You're still holding off on full-blown sex, and you wish you weren't. It causes some tension every time you restrict him from fucking you - but he tells you he's waiting, he's more than happy to wait. That's more than most men are willing to do and you're happy that you're fortunate to have landed yourself someone like you. Spending the tail end of your dates getting your neck marked up and fingered while you jerk him off is as much scandal as you can handle. Nerves are what's stopping you from going all the way. Definitely not Kafkaโ€™s hot friend who you can't stop thinking about.

There's synergy in your apartment now. You're not walking into a room with a tight chest and bated breath, just waiting to see what's waiting for you anymore. It's normal nowโ€”all of it. From Silver ransacking your kitchen to an obnoxiously loud-smelling blunt, you're used to it. It's not nearly as bad as you feared when Kafka initially moved in.

You sit in the dining hall with Fu Xuan, listening to her angry rambling about her statistics class. She never backs down, always eager to let a piece of her mind fly whether you like it or not.

โ€œStupidest fucking class ever. And, like, I shouldn't even be in there in the first place because I am wayyy too smartโ€”โ€

โ€œHey guys,โ€ thank God. Yukong shows up and sits next to Xuan, saving you from a monologue about how smart and wonderful she is. You love her, but man does she know how to talk.

โ€œNice of you to join us,โ€ Xuan says snappily. Yukong pays her attitude no mind, sipping her coffee and turning to you with a knowing look.

She shifts the conversation, โ€œAnywayโ€ฆI came to let you guys know that there's going to be a party on Friday at the sorority. Tingyun said itโ€™s to celebrate the beginning of spring break.โ€

You can't even remember the last time you went to a party. The smile growing on your face is too strong to fight. โ€œWhat time?โ€

โ€œUmmโ€ฆIโ€™ll have to check. Probably late though, soโ€ฆโ€

This can be your first outing with Jing Yuan. Just the two of you with all eyes on you. Right before spring break as wellโ€ฆit could be your first time togetherโ€”the thoughts alone make your head spin and a flurry of images swarm.

โ€œHm. Well, I won't be there.โ€ Xuan states, crossing her arms and looking off elsewhere.

Amused, Yukong questions her why. โ€œโ€˜Cause. I'm gonna be busy with burning this stupid campus down!โ€

โ”„โ”„

hii <3 didnโ€™t see u today so i hope ur feeling alright! also did u hear about the party this friday? r u thinking about going? miss u

You send your trilogy of texts to Jing Yuan, drowning out the conversation Kafka and Silver are having in your living room. โ€œCan you back me up here?!โ€

Silver looks at you for backup, to which you're dumbfounded. What were they talking about again? โ€œSorry, what were you saying?โ€ You ask, setting down your phone.

โ€œUgh!โ€ The gamer groans, falling back onto the couch. โ€œPlease tell your sister that a Nintendo DS and a Nintendo Switch are not the same thing!โ€

โ€œThey do the same thing, though!โ€ Kafka defends. โ€œBarely! Kaf, Iโ€™m on that thing like, twenty-four-seven and you mean to tell me you think Iโ€™m playing Cooking Mama?โ€

โ€œI don't know what you play. You never let anyone try and join you.โ€

โ€œBecause you all suck! Every single last one of you is dead weight and it makes me look bad.โ€ Kafka scoffs, turning around and looking at you with an exasperated look. You lock eyes and share a similar smile โ€” as much as you claim you and Kafka are total opposites, you get each other in ways not understood.

She turns back around and shuts Silverโ€™s yapping down and at the same time, Blade emerges from the hallway. He looks good. Really good.

His long, dark hair is disheveled and tossed into a low bun, making you gain a newfound appreciation for man buns. His black โ€œwife-beaterโ€ tank snugs onto his frame tightlyโ€”every ridge and curve of his solid abdomen pressing through the fabric and leaving little to the imagination. Staple gray sweats make you immediately avert your gaze, awkwardly making eye contact with you.

He caught you staring, and you caught him.

As if it were divine intervention, your phone buzzed on the counter behind you and you went straight for it, hiding the flustered look on your face behind your phone. You don't do a good job, though. Kafka notices.

hey baby accidentally slept in this morning but Iโ€™m alright heard abt the party but idk if Iโ€™m gonna go. not rly feeling it

A frown stretches across your lips as you disappointedly text back.

ohh okay feel better <3

Read.

It's fineโ€”you're fine! Youโ€™ll just go with your friends and have a great time and you can see him after break.

You want that to be comforting but your gut tastes the bitter truth. It's not time to have that conversation with yourself so you table it, leaving your phone on the table and joining Blade on the second couch. Kafka and Silver monopolized the other one and you had to fight the urge to wiggle your way between them.

โ€œSo, what are we watching?โ€ You make conversation, hiding the shake in your voice by focusing on the TV. Some random show plays, something so stupid youโ€™d never waste your time on this.

โ€œDunno. Blade picked it.โ€ Silver shrugs, slamming buttons on her Switch.

He turns to you. โ€œUh, it's the adaptation of the book โ€˜Verdictโ€™. About Imbibitor Lunae.โ€ He informs shyly. His voice is so gritty and deepโ€”every time you hear it you swear you feel the depth reverberating in your bones.

Blade makes you so nervous. With his intense stare and even more intense aura, he's overwhelming and nerve-wracking. While you've grown to be comfortable with Silver and Kafka, Blade is the only one you walk on eggshells around.

And he feels the same way. He wants to breach the wall and get to know you. He wants to sit on this couch with you with his arms wrapped around your frame and you in his lap and relax. He's so tense around you, so stiff out of pure fear that if he makes the wrong move or says the wrong thing, heโ€™ll scare you off. Blade likes you. And when it comes to girls like you and guys like him, it doesn't take much for things to go wrong.

You like that he reads though. โ€œOoh, interesting. Iโ€™ve never read that book,โ€

โ€œIt's pretty old and short. Most people of our generation haven't heard of it, I bet.โ€

โ€œYeah, 'cause you act fifty years old!โ€ Silver sneers, earning a slap on the leg from Kafka. He pays her no mind, instead watching how you laugh at her teasing.

Your eyes get so bright when you smile: full of joy, full of light. It's so cute.

โ€œWhat episode is this?โ€ You ask him. Clearing his throat, he checks with the remote, โ€œEpisode four.โ€

โ€œMind catching me up?โ€ Are you doing this on purpose? Youโ€™ve got to know what you're doing to him.

Heat drives up his neck and he has to create distance, sitting all the way back on the couch and replying to you with a nod.

You gulp, watching the way his legs naturally spread and how his arms flex. Insanely attractive, almost criminally so.

โ€œSo, itโ€™s basically about that guy,โ€ he points at the screen, a graceful-looking man with horns displayed, โ€œcalled the Sinnerโ€”โ€

โ€œThat guyโ€™s a sinner? He looks like an angel,โ€ You comment. You take another look at the screen and Blade fights a smile.

If only you knew.

He continues to break down the lore of Verdict to you, going very in-depth and getting seemingly passionate as he goes on. Kafka scrolls on her phone and takes it in with prideโ€”Blade should thank her. Never in all of her years of friendship with him does she think she's ever heard him talk this much, let alone to someone heโ€™s interested in. It's pure proof of what you do: the best sides of people come out because of you.

You listen to him intently, chiming in with reactions and questions every now and then and completely abandoning the show you're supposed to be learning about. You just like to hear him talk. His rough voice softens up as he continues explaining the story to you and in turn, your body language softens. You can relax and lie on the couch, keeping your eyes on his face as you lean your head down on your wrists.

Details you hadn't noticed before on his face stand out to you โ€” like how clear and supple his milky skin is and how his chapped lips are tinted ever-so-slightly red. You notice how his thick eyebrows wiggle and knit together when heโ€™s thinking, and his awkward, canine-heavy smile when you make a comment. Blade is dorky and surprisingly, a history enthusiast.

He goes from detailing the fabled betrayal of Imbibitor Lunae to the Ambrosial Arbor to everything before, after, and during. From the unusual silence exuding from Kafka and Silver, he realizes just how much he's been talking. Even you have started to drift off, your eyes are heavy as you listen to old Xianzhou tales.

Upon realizing that heโ€™s effectively talked everybody to sleep, he takes the blanket draped on the armchair and covers you, making sure to be as cautious as possible. He doesn't know what heโ€™d do if you woke up and caught him.

As weird as it sounds, he likes seeing you sleep. You look so peaceful like your dreams are full of cotton candy and rainbows. Knowing you, they probably are.

โ€œYouโ€™re staring, Bladie.โ€ He turns around to see Kafka, her smirk overtaking her groggy expression. He doesn't even try to refute the claim or defend himself. If there's anyone other than himself that knows him well, it's Kafka. She probably knows him more than he does himself at this point.

โ€œYouโ€™re cute, making moves on her and stuff,โ€ He naturally follows her as she makes her way to the kitchen. The blush on his cheeks dusts lightly, and his eyes find comfort in staring at the floor. โ€œIโ€™m proud of you.โ€

โ€œThank you.โ€ She reaches into the fridge, pulling out the last can of Mung Bean Soda.

She pops the can open and takes a short swig, โ€œso what's your plan?โ€

Blade shrugs. Kafka sighs, placing the can on the counter. โ€œItโ€™s okay. Iโ€™ll take care of it.โ€

เณ€

If Jing Yuan wasnโ€™t going to come to the party tonight, you were going to make him regret it.

You dressed in the shortest, tightest dress you owned: an off-the-shoulder white mini-dress with the prettiest shine to it. You bought it impulsively after your mid-term breakdown freshman year, thinking retail therapy would make you feel better. (It didn'tโ€“another breakdown ensued when you realized you just wasted money on shit you didn't need.)

You did your makeup the best you ever have. Perfect highlight, sharp and even eyeliner wings, balanced lip comboโ€”cosmetology school should have been your first choice with this type of beat.

Yukong told you to come at 9; the time on your phone reads 8:58. A little late, but fashionably so.

The jacket Yuan had given you still resides in your room due to your forgetfulness. If you're going to this party, why not make a statement?

You slip on the bomber jacket, the bulkiness of the fit aiding the aesthetics of your outfit. It gave off comfy but cuteโ€”โ€œin my boyfriendโ€™s closetโ€ vibes. Surely, Tingyun or whoever the hell else competing with you will take the hint with this. Nobody will have to guess whose jacket it is when there's a white lion embroidered on the right arm. If this isn't a soft launch, you don't know what is.

Grabbing your essentials you walk out to the usual scene in your living room: Kafka, Blade, and Silver seated on different couches engaged in a conversation. Their heads turn to you, and you immediately let your gaze fall to Blade. He almost looks away instantly โ€” too much. You're too much and he knows that it's for that guy. The one who doesn't deserve you but gets to see you cum and receive your attentionโ€ฆunfair.

โ€œWowww look at you! Little mouse is stealing someoneโ€™s man tonight!โ€ Silver whoops, snapping her fingers. You roll your eyes at her, brushing stray strands of hair back.

You walk to the door, โ€œDonโ€™t wait up!!!โ€

Oh, but they will. Some more than others.

โ”„โ”„

Yukongโ€™s sorority house is huge but it feels so small with this many people present. The invitation was extended to the entire campus, presumably, and sure enough, they showed up and showed out.

Pulling up was a nightmare โ€” cars and people backed up for what seemed like miles. Your Uber driver huffed and puffed the entire time trying to find somewhere to let you out, and you could only extend apologetic woes and smiles. Walking up to the house was better, but you suddenly woke up from your dream world and realized that people could see you. They could perceive you and form preconceived notions about you just from how you carried yourself. You became conscious of what the hell you had onโ€”immediately regretting the short dress when you had to squeeze between some randoms smoking on the stairs, your bare thighs rubbing against their bodies. Ugh.

The music was loud, seemingly traveling through the floorboards and it felt incredibly unstable to walk in your heels. You searched for Yukong, spotting your best friend off to the side with Hanya.

โ€œWoaahh, look at you!โ€ She exclaims. You give her a spin and laugh. Through your joy, you miss the way her face crinkles up when she eyes the jacket you sport. โ€œDo you want a drink?โ€

You nod, โ€œOnly like, one or two. I'm trying to stay sober; I want to remember tonight.โ€ You send her a look that means only one thing: you have something planned for tonight. What that thing isโ€ฆwell, Yukong isn't sure she wants to know.

She asks Hanya to fetch you a drink, taking up a conversation with you in her place. โ€œHowโ€™s the sister situation?โ€

You hadn't updated Yukong on the status of things in a while. Should you tell her about Blade?

Wait. Tell her what?

As if there's anything to tellโ€ฆ

โ€œItโ€™s actually good. Surprisingly. I thought Iโ€™d be begging my mom to take her by now,โ€ you joke. Hanya returns with a red solo cup, handing it to you. โ€œItโ€™s something tame.โ€

You're not a fan of the taste of alcohol. You can't understand how people willingly get shitfacedโ€”this shit is nasty. You cringe and shudder at the taste. Whatever juice base is added does not aid the taste one bit.

โ€œHer friends are around often. Likeโ€ฆevery day. I wonder if they have jobs but I haven't asked,โ€ Yukong takes a sip of her drink as well.

โ€œDid they help this transformation occur?โ€

And suddenly, the reality of how you look hits you again. โ€œHa ha, very funny. I wanted to try something new, something sexy.โ€

โ€œIt worked!!โ€ A random girl replies as she and her friends walk toward the kitchen. The face you give Yukong says I told you so, and she rolls her eyes.

โ€œLetโ€™s dance!โ€ You exclaim, grabbing onto your friend with the sudden shift in the music.

Reluctantly, she follows you to the sea of gyrating bodies. Everybody dancing and talking forms a cocoon of heatโ€”youโ€™re encapsulated the moment you breach the area.

Sip, dance, laugh. Sip, dance, laugh. Sip, dance, laugh. You keep this up for a good twenty minutes, breaking on the couch every now and then. It may be only you and Yukong โ€” and the occasional appearance of Hanya โ€” but you're having fun. Fun like you said you would with or without Yuanโ€”

Heโ€™s here???

You spot Jing Yuan out of the corner of your eye. He daps partygoers up at the door, making his way through the jumbles of people clearly in search. Of you?

You almost call his name and wave but he walks straight toward Tingyun. His hands slide around her waist instinctively and her arms wrap around his neck tightly. She giggles as he lifts her up, and she gives him her cup when she's put back down. They don't break eye contact the entire time he downs the remainder of her cup, and as soon as he's finished, the cup is replaced with her hand and she's guiding him up the stairs.

Did he think you wouldn't be here? Or did he not give enough of a fuck regardless?

Whatever the caseโ€”it hurts. You take the jacket off and toss it to the ground, not realizing the stray tear that streaks down your face.

Tingyun is going to give him something that you couldn't. Heโ€™s going to give her something you can't have. You feel slighted like the rug has been torn from beneath your feet and youโ€™re doomed to a fate forever on your ass. You look stupid. So so so stupid, but you have enough dignity to wait until you leave to bawl your eyes out.

Ignoring Yukong calling your name, you walk outside and begin calling yourself an Uber. The early spring chills make you even madder. Fuck this stupid dress, this stupid party, that stupid Jing Yuanโ€”โ€œHey!!! You didn't hear me calling you?โ€

Yukong comes following after you, her face concerned as she comes into view. Seeing your tears, her eyebrows furrow, โ€œWhat happened? Whatโ€™s wrong?โ€

A sad laugh escapes your throat and you look up at the sky, attempting to hold back the sudden rush of tears. โ€œYuan is sleeping with Tingyun,โ€

Her face is full of indescribable expressions. She has many things she wants to say, but she chooses the safe option. โ€œHuh?! How do you know?โ€

โ€œHis lying ass just showed up and threw himself all over her. Then they went upstairs and you and I both know they aren't up there talking.โ€

You poor, poor girl. โ€œI shouldn't be sadโ€ฆwhat was I thinking? I should've known that he was an asshole.โ€ You should have, but Yukong won't blame you.

The last romantic attention you had was from Dan Heng: your kinda-sorta-ex-boyfriend who took your virginity senior year and broke up with you a month later because you were going to different schools. You crave a change in the way people perceive you. Jing Yuan was the closest thing to a fever dream you had in university, and he turned it into a nightmare. What was supposed to be your rebranding - an age of confidence and maturity was overtaken by his pushiness and exclusivity.

โ€œIt doesn't matter, I don't care. I just wanna go home,โ€ You hope Kafka and her friends are on their best behavior tonight. You're not in the mood for any shit.

โ€œAre you sure?โ€ Yukong doesn't know how to comfort you. Anything she has to say will make it worse, she's sure of it.

You nod, wiping the string of tears off of your cheeks. The buzzing of your phone lets you know that your Uber is approaching shortly, so you give Yukong a smile thatโ€™s meant to comfort her - but it only worries her. She won't push you because the only way thisโ€™ll end is messy if so.

She offers you a comforting smile of her own, pulling you into a soft hug. โ€œCall me later, okay?โ€

She reluctantly pulls away and heads back into the party, head swiveling over her shoulder to make sure you don't jump in front of a car. You're not going to โ€” if anyone needs to, it's that asshole, Jing Yuan.

Your Uber pulls up and saves the day, the warmth in the car settling goosebumps on your skin from the juxtaposition. โ€œLong night?โ€ The driver asks, peering at you through the mirror.

Is it that obvious?

With a sad smile, you nod, โ€œIt's only gonna get longer.โ€ You laugh. Imagining the annoying amount of questions and pep talks Kafka is going to give you when you step through the door irritates you. You lay your head against your seat, and then your phone buzzes.

Flipping the device over, you see three notifications from โ€˜Yuan <3โ€™. Ugh.

Looking at it is going to make you do or say something youโ€™ll completely regret. You regain composure through a deep breath; placing your phone face down on your lap and watching the world blur through the window.

You're trying not to feel humiliated. There's a burn in your chest because every time you close your eyes, there's a scene of you and him together. You're stupid to think he actually liked you. His longing gazes and lingering touches and sweet words were tactics to get into your pants โ€” and it almost worked. There's a reason your mother treats you like a baby: you are one and can't handle the real world. You hate that you had to come to this conclusion like this, but you're not ready.

Thanking the driver, you pull yourself out of the car, trudging begrudgingly into the building and in the elevator. And you can't stop fucking crying.

Stray tears keep escaping and no matter how many times you wipe them away or vigorously blink, it doesn't stop the flow. Why are your feelings hurt this badly? Why did you like him so much?

These same questions cycle as you open your front door, being hit with the same atmosphere you just escaped.

Youโ€™ve got to be kidding me, you think. Of all nights, tonight Kafka decides to throw a damn party???

Not wanting to spend another second in this atmosphere, you weave your way through the partygoers โ€” an exceptional amount of people, given the space of your apartment, if you may add.

Trying to escape to your room gets you caught by your roommate, and your name gets called across the party as a result. She maneuvers her way to you, โ€œWhatโ€™re you doing back here so early, little mouse? I thought we shouldn't wait up?โ€

The sadness you wear is so prominent. Your face is dropped and your lips quiver when she asks her questions. You stare at the floor to not let the tears fall. โ€œHeyโ€ฆwhatโ€™s wrong?โ€

โ€œNothing. I'm just gonna go to sleep, so can you keep the noise down?โ€ You try to brush her off. Kafka doesn't let you slip away, grabbing your arm and keeping you in place.

The rim of her cup nudges at your chin in place of her hand, forcing you to look up at her. A black headband pushes her plum-colored locks out of her face, straight strands flowing down her back. When she tilts her head pitifully at you, her hair swings to the side, falling over her shoulder and at this moment she looks so approachable. โ€œWhatโ€™s wrong?โ€ She poses the question again, her tone softer than before.

You almost break down in front of her and she immediately extends her arm around your shoulders, pulling the side of you into her chest. She hands you her cup and you immediately down the liquid with no second thought. Her hand rubs your arm comfortingly and she guides you toward the kitchen, โ€œCโ€™mon, let's talk in here.โ€

The kitchen is surprisingly unoccupied save for a few hungry stragglers, leaving the two of you to sit on the stools. She refreshes your cup, getting a new one of her own and finishing off another bottle of tequila.

Kafka can tell by looking at you that this upset is caused by heartbreak. No words have to be spoken for her to understand, and now it's her job to take care of you. The way you deserve.

โ€œWhatโ€™d he do?โ€

The look on her face is all-knowing. You can't help but break a small smile at her intuitiveness. โ€œIโ€™m sure you can imagineโ€ฆโ€

Of course she can. It was clear as day that he wanted only one thing. Everybody but you could see that a mile away.

โ€œHowโ€™d you find out?โ€

โ€œThe asshole definitely wasn't trying to hide it.โ€ You state, taking a big sip of your drink and cringing at the bitterness. Yuck. โ€œHe told me he wasn't going to come to the party, but I'm there, dancing, and here he comes. With a big wide-ass smile he walks straight to Tingyun and they waste no time in going upstairs.โ€

You don't normally swear, but you're so irritated that the words just soar from your lips. Itโ€™s almost amusing to watch your angry rambling. โ€œNot even accounting for the fact that I was there and somebody could have told me. It was right in my faceโ€”right there and it was like I was invisible!!!โ€

Her eyes travel up and down your body. You're definitely not invisible. Jing Yuan just doesn't know what to do with you.

โ€œHe didn't deserve you; I hope you know that.โ€ She comments, sipping her drink slowly. You finish off yours with bigger gulps, immediately hopping off of the stool and searching for a new bottle. Pouring another full cup, you nod, โ€œI do now.โ€

โ€œAnd thenโ€”he had the audacity to text me!โ€ You sit down, taking off your heels. You're ready to get comfortable and let everything rip. Kafkaโ€™s eyes widen, โ€œOh, really?โ€

You hum to confirm, picking up your phone and checking the notifications. A few texts from Yukong and Xuan join his messages, but those don't matter. You hand the phone to Kafka, โ€œI didn't even read them. I should block him, right?โ€

hey baby, iโ€™m at the party wya

just talked to Yukongโ€ฆcan we talk? I wanna explain donโ€™t be like this. at least let me explain?

Double yuck. You absolutely should block himโ€ฆafter this, though.

โ€œHe wants to explain himself to you. Classic,โ€ She sneers. You laugh through your sipping, sitting the cup down. โ€œHe must take me for an idiot.โ€

There's a short silence that breaks with you changing the subject. โ€œWhatโ€™s the occasion?โ€ You question.

She shrugs, placing her cup down. โ€œJust felt like partying.โ€

Kafka tells a bit of a half-truth. While she did feel like having fun โ€” her idea extends beyond getting sloppy drunk and into territory thus far unexplored. There's one objective she has tonight and it can't be completed unless her two moving pieces are pliable and cooperative. In terms of a checklist, she's halfway there.

Low-lidded eyes narrow at you, as if to tell you her intent wordlessly. You don't pick up what she's putting down, instead feeling heavily nervous under her gaze. โ€œAnyway. Why don't weโ€ฆโ€

She trails off, her finger tapping her chin exaggeratedly. โ€œWanna dance?โ€

You suck in a breath, holding up your hands. โ€œI think I'm gonna call it a night, actually. Itโ€™s kind of late and all that crying made my head hurtโ€ฆโ€ You laugh. Thatโ€™s partly trueโ€”you just want to escape whatever trap sheโ€™s set, if you're being honest. And frankly, after tonight, you have slight trauma from dancing.

โ€œItโ€™ll make you feel better.โ€ She sings, wiggling a finger at you. โ€œCome on; just one dance!โ€

Your face crinkles. You're not convinced. โ€œSilverโ€™s on the aux, we can ask her to play whatever you want.โ€ She tries to bribe. โ€œNo sad-girl depressed shit, though.โ€

She keeps asking, offering deals and propositions that sound all the more appetizing as she continues. After a series of unabashed begging, you finally agree. โ€œOne song,โ€ you sternly declare, hopping off the stool and grabbing ahold of your cup.

Her hands are in the air defensively, a cheshire smile stretching across her lips. โ€œYou lead the way,โ€

You've never partied with Kafka before. Your time spent as step-sisters consisted of you mostly lurking and watching, earning your nickname โ€˜little mouseโ€™ because you were quiet, swift, and moved at night. You saw her sneak people into the house while your parents slept, throw parties while they were out, smoke in your backyard, and do other wild activities โ€” but she never let you join. Your age was your main roadblock, being deemed too young and too cute to join her and her friends. Dancing with her now, smelling the strong mix of scents in the air and the bass of the music jumping in your bones, you understand why now.

Maybe it's the alcohol or the fact that your heart is broken, but the atmosphere is heavy. There's a lingering feeling that seeps through your pores. It has you dancing with her, letting her hands lie on your waist and your hips sway together.

Your bodies generate a fountain of heat that consumes you. You can't help but just dance: feeling the beat in your very core. Mixed with your surplus of liquid courage, your body sways and gyrates, lighting a flame you won't be able to put out in Kafka. Her smile is wide and her eyes flicker toward the couch, meeting an intense amber gaze.

Blade is entertainedโ€ฆmore so intrigued with how you can live freely even after your heart weighs you down. The smile on your face doesn't falter โ€” it only grows and gleams and he can't stop watching you dance.

Should he take Kafkaโ€™s place? He wants to take Kafkaโ€™s place.

It should be his hands on your waist, his lips on your ears, his words making you laughโ€”โ€œAh, Iโ€™m exhausted,โ€

You plop down beside him with an exasperated groan. He almost jumps out of his skin when you appear, and looking up at Kafka who towers over the pair of you, he can tell this is only the beginning. Her smile is warm but all-telling: whatever idea she has brewing in her head is coming to fruition tonight.

โ€œIโ€™ll be back. Take care of her for me, Bladie,โ€ she shoots him a wink. He almost doesn't know what to do. Should he talk to you? Take you to bed?

โ€œBlade?โ€ Your voice is so small, so cute. You're quiet beneath the jumble of sounds crammed in your apartment but he can pick you out amongst the masses. He's never heard you address him before and the way his name leaves your mouthโ€ฆheโ€™s always going to replay it in his head forever. โ€œโ€ฆY-yeah?โ€

He doesn't stutter but fuck, you make him nervous.

Breathing out airily, you turn your head to him. โ€œโ€ฆDo you and Kafka date?โ€

โ€œNo.โ€ His answer is straight and immediate. Must be a sore subjectโ€ฆ

โ€œOhโ€ฆโ€ โ€œWhy do you ask?โ€ He knows why you ask. The same reason everybody else does. โ€œDunno. You guys just seemโ€ฆclose.โ€

โ€œSheโ€™s not my type of girl.โ€

โ€œOh?โ€ You perk up, now intrigued. โ€œThen, what is your type of girl?โ€

You. He picks at his nails and almost avoids your eyes. How does he answer this question without freaking you out? Ahโ€ฆfuck it.

โ€œโ€ฆYou.โ€ Heโ€™s dying on the inside but at least you're drunkโ€”youโ€™re not going to remember this so it won't be that bad. โ€œReally?โ€

Your tone pitches up as you adjust your position. You lean your head against your hand now, opting to look him in his eyes. His attention feels nice and hearing that somebody insanely attractive wants you. You make him nervous, making him twiddle his fingers, and his cheeks dust rosy. That's a type of flattery that you can't make up.

โ€œYeah,โ€ he says matter-of-factly. As if it's so obvious that he likes girls like you.

โ€œWhat about me do you like?โ€

โ€œOh, uh, I don't knowโ€ฆโ€ he trails off. He suddenly remembers the solo cup he abandoned earlier in the night and picks it up off the floor. Heโ€™s going to need a serious buzz to bear his dirty laundry to the wind. โ€œโ€ฆeverything?โ€ He poses it like a question โ€” as though your reaction would gauge the validity.

Your face was brighter and painted in a flustered manner. โ€œThank you,โ€ is all you can say without word-vomiting.

โ€œWhat are you two talking about?โ€ Kafka breaks up your tension, handing you another full cup and weaving her way onto the couch. She takes a seat right behind you, effectively spooning you. She takes a look at Blade over your shoulder, noticing the blush that paints his cheeks and the refusal to look in your direction.

Downing big swigs of your mystery drink, you shake your head. โ€œOh, nothingโ€ฆโ€ You sing, giving Blade an obvious reassuring wink that Kafka laughs at. โ€œGuess I should leave you two to it, huh?โ€

โ€œTo what?โ€ You ask coyly. You giggle bubbly, hiding your grin behind your cup. Kafka gives you a look, โ€œIโ€™m interrupting, aren't I? Itโ€™s okay to push me away.โ€

โ€œWe didn't do anything yet!!โ€

โ€œYet?โ€ Kafka and Blade exchange glances - a series of looks that only mean one thing.

You slap a hand over your mouth, laughing into your palm drunkenly. Your mind is hazy and covered in static. That's not what you meant to sayโ€” โ€œWell, I meanโ€ฆโ€

She quirks an eyebrow at you, cocking her head to the side. โ€œWhat do you mean? You playing to run off with Bladie later?โ€

While that would be great and you aren't completely unopposedโ€ฆโ€œWe were just talking.โ€

Kafka shrugs, dropping the topic. Youโ€™re determined to preserve the privacy of your conversation until the very end. Well, anyway, there are other methods of getting the show on the road.

Her brief time away from the pair of you was spent curating a queue of songs on Silverโ€™s phone โ€” songs she knows you like, songs she knows Blade likes, and songs she knows your inebriated bodies will like. Full of bass, full of sensuality, full of dirty innuendos that get your core filled with butterflies and your head filled with fantasies. She took it upon herself to mix up a concoction strong enough to wipe out a village of Pilgrims and your inhibitions.

From the moment your mother mentioned staying with you, Kafka thought of you. Youโ€™re a staple goody-two-shoes, held down to Earth with a strict upbringing and a perfectionist mindset. You were always eager for more, wide eyes watching as she and her friends explored all types of realms unbeknownst to you.

Itโ€™s her way of setting you free and paying you back. All those times you covered for her, all those times you took care of her after a long night out, and even now, taking her in when you have no reason to โ€” itโ€™s her way of saying thank you. Giving you the release youโ€™ve been clawing for since she met you; giving you the release you deserve.

Blade is perfect for you. He's the type of guy to send your mother into cardiac arrest but the type of guy to love you right. He's not a man of many words but of many actions โ€” a crafter, a creator, a provider, a carer. What you need is stability, something in scarce supply ever since your parents split up; but you also need someone to fix. That can't be Kafka, it won't be her.

She's going to hand you the tools to set you free, but it's up to you to forge your way out.

This box of safety you guard yourself in is coming down tonight. The burden of finding the perfect, golden guy, being the perfect, golden girl, and living a perfect, golden life is shriveling by the minute, each alcoholic sip you take singeing its weight.

The sultry beat of the next song punches through the atmosphere. The vibe of the party seems to slow down: the chatter lowers itself to background noise, bodies move longingly and languidly, and the lights seem dimmer. Your body feels heavier too, slumping forward on the couch to where your forehead collides with Bladeโ€™s knee.

His hands are quick to slip under your arms, helping you sit up straight. Kafka rubs a supportive hand in circles on your back, โ€œYou alright, little mouse?โ€

You look at the man in front of you, his silhouette slowly coming into focus. With his hair freed down his back and toned body dressed in his usual comfortable loungewear, he looks good. So fucking good with the worried look on his face.

โ€œHey, I got you,โ€ he states.

In a second your strength is replenished and you muster the courage to lean in, stealing a kiss from him. Itโ€™s unexpected, sloppy, and tastes a whole hell of a lot like liquorโ€ฆbut, fuck, does it feel good.

He doesn't know what to do with his hands, choosing to remove them from beneath your arms and rehome them on your waist. The initial shock dissipates and his body naturally leads into your kiss, his eyes closing after taking in the image of an amused Kafka.

You whimper into his mouth, eager to climb onto his lap. Your hands roughly tangle in his hair, pulling his face unimaginably closer as if you were trying to consume him whole. The feeling of his slightly chapped lips against your glossed ones is like heaven - even better as he gets to re-slick them with his tongue.

Itโ€™s like the world around you doesn't exist anymore. Time could cease to exist and it wouldn't faze you because you have everything you need beneath you. The warmth of another person, the kisses of pure desire, the hands of desperationโ€ฆit all rests in Blade and he delivers it unto you. It's all that matters right now, all you could ever wish for โ€” forget Jing Yuan, your mother, whatever stressors have been weighing you down. It's insignificant, it doesn't matter, not when Blade sucks your tongue and his hands grab the fat of your ass.

It doesn't take much to escalate the situation with the amount of alcohol and stress in your body. It needs to all come out.

โ€œAlright, lovebirds.โ€ Kafka practically pulls you two apart, holding your hand and hoisting you to your feet. โ€œLetโ€™s get you to bed,โ€

You grumble like a petulant child, holding your other hand out for Blade to grab. Heโ€™s quick to slip your hand into his. โ€œI don't wanna go to bedโ€ฆโ€

Leading you through the myriad of people, Kafka laughs, โ€œDonโ€™t worry. Weโ€™re not going to sleep.โ€

You giggle at her words, the meaning not fully processing in your hazy head. You miss her innuendos the way you always have, focusing on Blade. His arm wraps around your waist to stabilize you with Kafkaโ€™s hand locked in yours. Itโ€™s intimate, itโ€™s nice, and though you can't see the heat burn in his skin in this darkness, you can feel it with how close he is to you.

Kafka leads the three of you into your room, flickering your light on and closing the door behind you all. She locks it while you basically drag Blade to your bed.

You're more abrasive when you're drunk: grabbing Blade by the fabric of his shirt into another sloppy kiss. Itโ€™s amusing to watch, Kafkaโ€™ll give you that. But that's not the image she had in mind.

โ€œEasy tiger,โ€ she purrs, sitting behind you on the bed. You both catch your breaths, looking at each other with small smiles. There's a spark of desire in the room, latching onto any and everything and setting it ablaze. Itโ€™s hot and palpable and you need to set it out. โ€œLetโ€™s take our time, yeah?โ€

It doesn't register what she meant by that until her hands are fondling your chest and her chin rests on your shoulder. โ€œMmhโ€ฆโ€ she moans, feeling your nipples harden through your dress, โ€œWeโ€™ve been waiting a real long time for this, haven't we, Bladie?โ€

He finds himself at a loss for words, swallowing thickly and keeping his eyes trained to you. โ€œYeahโ€ฆโ€

โ€œWhy don't you come show her, then?โ€ Kafka instructs, fluttering her eyes up to him. He doesn't need much encouragement to catch your bobbing head with his palm, leaning in and taking the lead in your kiss.

Under his behest, the kisses are softer, tamer, but filled with just as muchโ€”if not moreโ€”fire as before. He takes his time in carefully traversing your mouth with his tongue โ€” completely contrasting from the kisses you gave him previously. You were taking a page from the book of Jing Yuan, using how he kissed you as a guideline for the basis. But that's not what you wanted. What you wanted from the very beginning was for him to take his time: to savor you down to every detail until your lips bruised and swelled, then move on to the rest of your body with passion.

Bladeโ€™s kisses were heavy with passion and need - as if he, too, was holding onto a package full of burdens.

As he moves down your jaw and neck, Kafkaโ€™s hands travel down to the hem of your dress, slipping under and gripping your bare sides. Her hands are cold and you flinch at the feeling, but it soon feels nice as her hands slide to cup your boobs under your bra. Your head falls back on her shoulder, allowing Blade more access to the expanse of your neck.

Your hips pathetically gyrate against the bed, receiving minimal friction that aids you in no way. It only makes you needier.

Blade pulls away to let Kafka pull your dress over your head, revealing the pretty, matching white set you have on underneath. You so obviously wore this with Jing Yuan in mind, and it irritates Blade that he was ever worthy enough to you to warrant such an ensemble. It was never right, never fair โ€” but he has you now, and he doesn't plan on letting you go.

Kafka takes the initiative and unclips your bra, tossing the undergarment to the floor alongside your dress. You're pushed flat onto the mattress where she takes a moment to remove her crop top, leaning over you in her black lace bra.

She places a chaste kiss on your lips leaving your eyes to widen โ€” watching with blown pupils as she lowers herself to your chest and darts her tongue toward your pebbled nipple. You drawl out a whine, your body curling up in response. She swirls the nub, dragging her teeth lightly on it and leaving you hissing and whimpering. All the while, Blade strips down to his underwear, tossing his long hair to the back and palming the tent in his pants.

You turn your head to your left and spot him, your face cringing in pleasure. You stretch your arms toward him and he complies, letting your hands find the sides of his head and pull him in for another kiss.

An agile hand slithers beneath the thin band of your panties, a slender finger slipping between your labia and running through your folds. You moan out into Bladeโ€™s mouth, hips jerking away and legs kicking into the air. โ€œYour sensitive pussyโ€™s all wetโ€ฆโ€ Kafka observes. She lays her head right below your boob, focusing her attention between your legs.

โ€œโ€˜S making a mess through your panties.โ€ She laughs when you moan out again, her finger traveling down to your entrance and prodding.

โ€œKafkaโ€ฆโ€ you moan, pulling away from Blade.

โ€œLetโ€™s see how long it takes to make you cum,โ€ itโ€™s so obvious that you're not going to last. Your cunt is soaked and only gets wetter by the minute, and her teasing ministrations have you moaning like a bitch in heat.

She adjusts her position, peeling down your panties and leaving them around your ankles lazily. The draft in your room whistles against your soaked folds - a chill runs up your spine as a result. She spits onto her hand as if it's needed, diving straight toward your clit. The sensitive bud is attacked mercilessly: heavy pressure weighing on it as Kafka draws figure-eights. There's a sticky clicking sound that arises and it makes her smile, taking a look at you and Blade over her shoulder.

You suck on his thumb, his left hand rubbing from your neck to your chest. Your whimpers are contained behind his digit, but your watery eyes say all. โ€œYou hear that?โ€ She suddenly speeds up her actions, making your back arch and voice sing out around Bladeโ€™s finger.

And like a professional, she slows down, inching her finger back down to your hole. It slips in with ease and she sighs. โ€œDunno if sheโ€™s gonna be able to take you, Bladie,โ€

She pushes her middle finger in knuckle-deep, twisting her finger as she slithers her ring finger in beside it. Bladeโ€™s finger in your mouth does nothing to pacify you any longer - her fingers in your cunt bringing out the sweetest moans theyโ€™ve collectively ever heard. โ€œSheโ€™s so tightโ€ฆsqueezing around my fingers.โ€

You writhe around in Bladeโ€™s hold and your arms brush over his hard-on every now and then. He winces and hisses, bucking into your touch. He needs to preoccupy himself before he cums in his pantsโ€”deciding to aid Kafka. His hand tentatively crawls toward your clit, rougher, thicker fingers pinching your bud. It has you huffing out a wail, balling your fist weakly on his thigh.

They keep up a steady pace in tandem, building up your orgasm with ease. Your body is reactive and receptive to their touch: falling apart when your core gets tight and even hotter.

โ€œCโ€™mon, little mouseโ€ฆlet it out for me,โ€ Kafka encourages. She places sparse kisses against your thighs, the print of her lips faintly left in the color of her lipstick. โ€œI can feel it. You wanna cum so bad,โ€

โ€œDo it,โ€ she murmurs between kisses, โ€œlet it out.โ€

Itโ€™s like your body is under her control. Your orgasm builds and crashes in a matter of seconds. Your hole spasms around her fingers but she never stops scissoring them inside of you, rubbing against your sweet spot and effectively overstimming you. You wail heartily, wrapping your arms around Bladeโ€™s arm and stopping him from continuing.

Kafka doesn't stop finger-fucking you until you come down from your high and endlessly whimper. She smears your release all over your pussy, bringing her coated fingers to her mouth.

Exaggeratedly, she sucks your juices off of her fingers, making sure to rock her hips against nothing and moan at the taste. โ€œMmfh,โ€ and with a pop, she removes her digits from her mouth.

She hovers over you trying to catch your breath, capturing your face in her hand and squeezing your cheeks, forcing your lips to part. She lets her saliva drop from her mouth to yours, backing up with a smile. She stops you from swallowing: โ€œShare,โ€ she says.

You and Bladeโ€™s lips meet, smushing and mixing yours and Kafkaโ€™s spit. It gets messier, sloppier, and it's completely inefficient due to your awkward position but you comply nonetheless.

When you part, Kafka is making quick work of you and flips you over to your stomach. You yelp and giggle, looking over your shoulder and meeting her wide smile. Her index finger boops your nose and she turns to Blade, presumably signaling for him to get up. He stands up, hands grabbing your ankles and adjusting you perfectly.

Kafka slaps your tailbone softly, using her other hand to brush your hair out of your face. โ€œAss up,โ€ she instructs, and you listen.

You wiggle your butt in the air with a laugh, laying your head on Kafkaโ€™s lap. Her pants are pretty comfortable and you find yourself becoming relaxed โ€” while behind you Blade is pulling his boxers down and freeing his dick.

The last time you had actual sex was months agoโ€ฆas in the middle to end of your freshman year. It was a forgotten one-night stand you met through a dating app - but heโ€™s no match for Blade.

He presses the tip to your entrance, just teasing. Your heavy eyelids fly up, and you immediately brace yourself. You barely felt him, but he's big. You know it.

โ€œFuckโ€ฆโ€ he hisses. He wedges his cock between your folds, feeling your wetness smear against him. You feel his width, his length, his weightโ€”heโ€™s a lot less girthy than what you felt with your hands with Yuan, but he makes up for it in length.

If he keeps dragging his dick between your folds heโ€™s going to cum. He has to physically stop himself, sucking in a deep breath because it's now or nothing.

Pressing the tip in you both gasp โ€” and your sounds only drawl out until he completely bottoms out. He's so deep, and you're so wet. He's so big, and you're so tight. Dribbles of your previous orgasm and endless arousal seep out around him, and he nearly moans at the sight.

Getting a good grip on your ass, he spreads your cheeks, pushing you forward while pulling out. Itโ€™s a languid motion, edging you for the heart-stopping drop he imposes when you're filled fully again. Your moans come out with every collision and they're full of air. Your chest is tight and all of your air is flying out of your mouth. He's rendering you breathless, but it's nothing compared to how you're making him feel.

Blade begins to gradually increase his pace to satiate this intense hunger. He fucking needs you.

Now that he has a taste of you, his head is clear and his body is in nirvana. His strokes are precise and sharp. He pistons out of you with control, deep grunts skipping out of his mouth. Itโ€™s like your pussy is made for him: squeezing him just right in a tight hug and drooling endlessly.

Splat splat splat! The wet sound echoes from your collisions, battling against the barrage of moans that escape your mouth. โ€œOh, f-fโ€”โ€ you stutter over the curse, clawing at Kafkaโ€™s legs. She coos at you, rubbing your face. โ€œYou can take it, you got it. Good girl,โ€

โ€œC-canโ€™t! โ€˜M gonna cum!โ€ You sob, burying your face into her leg.

Your body hasn't recovered from your previous orgasm, still reeling and the added pleasure Blade stacks on doesn't help. You feel like you're going to explode, wailing and drooling all over the place as your hips gain a mind of their own, fucking back against Blade and chasing your release.

โ€œThink you can squirt for us?โ€

Oh, hell yeah. If there's one thing Blade wants to do for you, it's to ruin anybody else for you. He wants a monopoly over your body โ€” he wants you to know him as your main source of Heaven on Earth and if thereโ€™s one way to do thatโ€ฆ

In three swift movements, you're flipped back onto your back, legs on his shoulders. He slips back in with ease, wasting no time in pounding your cunt. Heโ€™s fiercer, more determined: drawn up with furrowed brows and his bottom lip snatched between his teeth, Blade becomes a different person.

There's more need, more fervor, an insatiable feeling thatโ€™s driven by your warm pussy around him and the idea of being the first person to make you squirtโ€”the only person to make you squirt.

Kafka wraps her hand around your throat, squeezing the sides, and watches with pure amusement as your eyes grow foggier and your sounds grow choppier. They're just using your body, pushing you to the very limit and it's working so well.

A new fire has been lit under your ass and you feel alive โ€” you're on top of the world and nothing but a grand finale can bring you down.

โ€œG-got tighterโ€ฆโ€ Blade grunts out. Kafka turns to you, seeing how even though your eyes and mouth spill over, you still manage to curl your lips into a toothy grin. โ€œThink she likes it,โ€

โ€œYou like this, huh? Being choked out while getting fucked silly?โ€ God, yes. You love itโ€”youโ€™re on cloud nine.

In this position, Blade can fuck you deeper. Heโ€™s effectively digging you out, the slight left-leaning curve of his cock hitting your g-spot again and again. Quakes rack through your body again; itโ€™s coming.

They both can tell and it's getting sloppy. Blade is holding back from blowing his load deep in you, and Kafka? Well, Kafkaโ€™s happy to play the supporting role - now letting go of your neck and wedging her head between you and Blade.

With her ass in the air, Kafka dives into the perfect arch to let her lips wrap around your clit, taking the neglected bud into her warm mouth with a long moan. The vibrations jolt through your body and you nearly scream out, thrashing above them.

It's too much, your body can't handle it. You start to crumble: your stomach gnarling and tears streaming down your face. โ€œIcantIcantIcantโ€”โ€ Your hands frantically try to push Blade away but to no avail.

His grunts grow more animalistic as he puts all of his body weight into his thrusts, slowing down. He goes harder, making your body jostle with each grind of his hips. His face is knitted in pleasure, his porcelain skin damp with sweat and blemished in a crimson brushing. Kafka abusing your puffy clit with her tongue has you and Blade losing your minds, collectively falling apart.

This is it. This is pure, unadulterated bliss.

White hot heat surges through your body as you shake. Your thighs quiver on Bladeโ€™s shoulders, and Kafka can feel the stiffness of your clit. She slithers back to her seated position, her eyes never leaving the passion-filled affair occur.

Words you try to form only come out as broken squeaks and even Blade can't hold back any longer, letting out a string of blissed-out curse words as you clamp around him. The orgasm that begins to pour out of you is paired with a force thatโ€™s all but pushing him out.

You sob and he moans out โ€” one last thrust breaking the floodgates. A clear stream shoots from between your legs, spurting at his abs. All the while, his orgasm comes over him, filling you with all his heavy balls had been storing.

You can't even move. Your chests heave for big breaths, unable to catch them.

Itโ€™s a high you can't come down from โ€” filled with a surplus of electricity, liquor, and desire. You needed that more than anything, you needed him more than anything.

โ”„โ”„

A small yawn leaps from your mouth when your eyes begrudgingly open. What time even is itโ€ฆ?

You swing your arm over behind you in search of the device โ€” but you're instead met with flesh. You're suddenly wide awake, sitting straight up only to realize you're completely naked. You turn to your side and there lays Blade, snoring softly into your pillow.

What the hell happened last nightโ€ฆ

You jump out of bed, find something stray to throw on and feel an incredible ache between your legs. Clearly, you had quite the night. You can't concisely remember what happened last night and right now is definitely not the time to rehash your decisions.

You're not completely opposed to doing whatever you did with Blade becauseโ€ฆwell, he's Blade. He's always been attractive to you, and at least heโ€™s willing to treat you like a person.

You're not going to wake him up so you leave him a note: scribbling your number on a random piece of paper and scurrying out of the room.

You need to find your phone and get some airโ€”โ€œGood morning. Took you a while to get up, huh.โ€

Kafka sits at the bar, stuffing her mouth with a spoonful of cereal. Does she know that you and Bladeโ€ฆ

โ€œOh, yeah. Hey. Good morningโ€ฆโ€ you awkwardly puff out. Your voice is hoarse and you cringe at the sound, placing your hands on your chest with concern. โ€œIโ€™m gonna go umโ€ฆget some food,โ€

โ€œI made some eggs earlier if you want someโ€”โ€ โ€œโ€”Iโ€™m good. I could use the air, anyway.โ€

Kafka shrugs, turning back to her cereal. You rush out of your apartment in a blur, slamming the door and leaving Kafka in a brief silence.

Moments after you left, Blade emerges from the hallway. โ€œMorning sleepy head. Howโ€™d you sleep?โ€ She teases.

He nods, rubbing his eye. He takes a seat next to Kafka, holding up a piece of paper between two fingers. โ€œWoke up to this,โ€

โ€œThe hell is that?โ€ Kafka questions, spinning her spoon around in her bowl.

He flips the paper over, โ€œHer number.โ€

A smile breaks across her face and she slaps his arm playfully. โ€œLook at you!โ€

Blade fights off a coy smile, twirling the paper between his fingers. He waited so long, so patientlyโ€”and it was all worth it. He would do it again and again. All just to make you his.

THE PARTY & THE AFTER PARTY เณ€ Kafka & Blade โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ€˜oh Girl, Donโ€™t Hold Back - Let

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1 year ago

incorrect hsr quotes #2

[name], visibly exhausted, downing more shots than usual: so eventually, iโ€™m like, being nice doesnโ€™t work. being nice gets me stalkers

dan heng, sitting in the nearest table, watching [name]: i kinda feel called out

[name], continuing on: being mean gets me crazy men who are attracted to crazy person

blade, sitting in the same table as dan heng, nodding proudly: yep. i asked them to crush my skull in the other day

[name]: and so, iโ€™m just gonna ignore yโ€™all now

dan heng and blade: sulks after hearing that

jing yuan, whoโ€™s been at the same table as dan heng and blade, with a smug grin: aww but pookie๐Ÿฅบ

[name], done with their shit: and they liKE THAT TOO! LEAVE ME ALONEโ—๏ธโ—๏ธ

kafka, [name]โ€™s gossip bestie: aww but pookie, youโ€™re living the life


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1 year ago

To My Sweetheart Who Carries A Wounded Heart Ch. 10

To My Sweetheart Who Carries A Wounded Heart Ch. 10
To My Sweetheart Who Carries A Wounded Heart Ch. 10

Series Masterlist, Chapter 1 ๐Ÿค, Chapter 2 ๐Ÿ–ค, Chapter 3 ๐Ÿค, Chapter 4๐Ÿ–ค, Chapter 5๐Ÿค, Chapter 6๐Ÿ–ค, Chapter 7๐Ÿค, Blade & Reader's Relationship, Chapter 8๐Ÿ–ค, Chapter 9๐Ÿค

To My Sweetheart Who Carries A Wounded Heart Ch. 10

Bladeโ€™s phone was ringing, & your name was on the screen.

Did you find out about the affair? Are you calling him while crying your eyes out? Though that could be the case, it seemed less likely that you needed to learn what was happening. So why in the world would you be calling him right now? He doesnโ€™t know or have a single idea, but he probably shouldnโ€™t keep you waiting, whatever it is.

โ€œY/N?โ€

โ€œRen, hey. Iโ€™m sure you weren't expecting my call but right now I have no idea where Levi is and I'm feeling like crap. Are you busy with anything right now?โ€

He did not think he could get any more worked up, but hearing the sorrow in your voice as well as the fact you just told him you felt lonely almost made him see red. In all honesty, he was about to run to his dining room, snatch his keys from off the table, and rush to his car but he hadnโ€™t even showered, let alone brush his teeth. Though heโ€™s sure that youโ€™d let him do all that at your place if he were to leave right now he couldnโ€™t show up unpresentable to you, could he? That could ruin some of his image on you and heโ€™d rather jump off a cliff than let that happen. (He really would.)

โ€œHello~? Do you have plans? I saw on your calendar you were off but if you already have somewhere to be then-โ€

Shoot, he got lost in thought for a moment there. Of course, he didnโ€™t have anything to do, heโ€™s never occupied when it comes to you but heโ€™s sure youโ€™re not aware of that fact.

โ€œNo- Iโ€™m free. I mean-โ€

He coughs, and you end up giggling from the other end. His ears turn a bit pink from embarrassment as he clears his throat and he decides to speak again.

โ€œJust give me like, 30 minutes I'll be there soon, alright?โ€

โ€œMhm. See you soon.โ€

He could hear your not-so-subtle chuckles before you hung up, but he was already throwing his phone onto his bed and making his way to the bathroom, turning on the shower before brushing his teeth at a speed that definitely made sure they were pearly white. Again, he could never look like a mess in front of you, it just didn't sit right with him.

Blade didn't even wait for the water to fully warm up before stripping and grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste, getting inside, and deciding to multitask with everything. In the back of mind, Blade knew that he shouldn't be this eager to see you, shouldn't be in such a rush to want to be in the company of a married woman, but he couldn't help it. It's always been this way and he doesn't really want it to change any time soon.

~

After getting himself situated and hopping into his car, Blade's brain took more time to realize that today would be a lot harder for you than any other. He just notes that he was sad as well. You wouldn't know how much courage it took for him to not run into that hospital room and hold you in his arms.

It was a loss of a life. One that could have brought you so much happiness, but was stripped of you.

However, he could make it better. Blade's not the greatest at expressing his feelings at times though he's always could effortlessly make you smile. He was certain he could do it today, too. So why not go pick up a little something for you while he's on his way? Surely it couldn't have any negative effects.

~

To My Sweetheart Who Carries A Wounded Heart Ch. 10

A/N: I've been having second thoughts about this fic. I looked back to some previous chapters and realized I was not too fond of the way it was written. One person said the way I write Blade is oocโ€ฆ (on Tumblr) which didn't help my encouragement to write this. I'm excited about the new fic and I'm going to be investing a lot of my energy into that one because I don't get much feedback about this one, it's harder to do better. Therefore, this fic is going on Hiatus until further notice. I'll be using that time to learn more while working on something else.

I MIGHT add chapters randomly if I have work done but updates are not regular as of now. But it will not be abandoned. (I believe.)

If you have any questions or comments, don't be afraid to leave them. โ™ก ~โ™ชโ—โ€ข

Borders by @cafekitsune

Taglist: @uhfhfhfhf @xdrin @msun1c0rn @lovingnahida @strrawb3rrysh0rtcak3 @ssecylia @skyl8ver @immahuman @meowmeowraven @01234 @markexplanation @esthelily @dawnofazrael @chickenalfredo4life @eccaza

To My Sweetheart Who Carries A Wounded Heart Ch. 10

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1 year ago

GREEDY, GREEDY โŸข nsfw character insert

GREEDY, GREEDY โŸข Nsfw Character Insert

whatever he'd talked you into was glorious.

and wet.

very wet. gushing slick between your bunny-twitching legs spread so wide for no one but him. and he, fuck-

he was a greedy, greedy man.

before you knew it, he was right between them, throbbing cock sliding in with an ease that had your eyes dice-rolling in their skull, mouth perfectly agape for his fingers to slide and curl into your throat.

the very sensation of being so full on two ends had you writhing, cunt squeezing him for all his worth as you both moan for a lost mercy, trembling and wordlessly begging the other for more.

good god, maybe you were greedy too.

GREEDY, GREEDY โŸข Nsfw Character Insert

โ€” ango sakaguchi, blade, chuuya nakahara, dainsleif, diluc, mammon, satoru gojo, saigiku jouno, solomon, tartaglia, toji fushiguro, veritas ratio, wriothesley.

GREEDY, GREEDY โŸข Nsfw Character Insert

HEY SWEET CHERUB, REBLOGS ARE MUCH APPRECIATED โ™ก

ยฉ2024 mourningwings โŸก all rights reserved. do not claim, copy, modify, translate, or repost my work.


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1 year ago

Sono io o sei tu? Sono io o sei tu!?

Sono Io O Sei Tu? Sono Io O Sei Tu!?

เณƒโ€โžท TW/CW:ย DARK CONTENT, Broken English, Yandere Undertones, Toxic Relationship,ย 18+ (MINORS/AGELESS/BLANK BLOGS DONโ€™T INTERACT), Gender Neutral Reader,ย Obsession, let me know if I need to add more TW/Tags โ™ก My blog contains dark content, be careful when interacting/following! Please if you like my work don't forget to reblog/interact with meโ™ก Minors, ageless, blank blogs, and silent readers will get blocked if interact with me. โžณ Pair: Dan Heng x Reader (Honkai Star Rail) Words Count: 476 Title comes from the song Nato sbagliato.

Sono Io O Sei Tu? Sono Io O Sei Tu!?

โค  Yandere Hcs (Sampo)ย โคŸ HSR Masterlist โค ย Cercavo amore ma alla fine... (Luocha)ย โคŸ

Something little to little for my baby Dan Heng, I'm so sorry that this is so short LMAO but unfortunately my motivation from writing is going ๐Ÿ“‰๐Ÿ“‰

Sono Io O Sei Tu? Sono Io O Sei Tu!?

Memories from the past were confusing and distorted. From a past that wasnโ€™t his, that wasnโ€™t of Dan Heng.ย 

He could remember a smile, a laugh, and this intense, strong emotion of need, of wanting. But what exactly? Who was the one laughing, smiling? No matter how much Dan Heng tried, he couldnโ€™t remember. Not a name, not even a face.ย 

But Dan Heng didnโ€™t think too much about it in the end; whoever was this important and loved person was probably dead or, if they weren't, at this time they probably got a new life where he isnโ€™t needed anymore. And plus, he is now Dan Heng. A new person, a new life, so it would be best to just avoid them.ย 

Sono Io O Sei Tu? Sono Io O Sei Tu!?

Who was before itโ€™s long dead and forgotten. Itโ€™s been too long now. He had to go on.ย 

However, walking around the Xianzhou Luofu was a bad idea, it brought out memories that he desperately tried to forget. He made him feel so nostalgic, nostalgic of a place that no longer was his place to be. That wasnโ€™t the true home of Dan Heng.ย 

He understood fully that he made a mistake when he saw you between others, simply strolling around, maybe even just buying groceries. No matter how much Dan Heng tried, he couldnโ€™t look away. Something deep, deep inside him didnโ€™t make it possible. He was like frozen in place.ย 

You two make eye contact just once, for a few seconds before Dan Heng finds himself able to move again and gets away, running like a coward. He refused, from that day forward, to go back to the Xianzhou Luofu no matter what he had to do or what his friends asked, he wasnโ€™t going to go back to that ship. He knew that, if he did, he would run up back to you even if he didnโ€™t know why or who you were.ย 

But, much to his dismay, you were all he could think about; your eyes, your hair, your figure even, everything felt so familiar, so right. Dan Heng knew he was running away like a coward, his desperation getting stronger and stronger by the day and he couldnโ€™t ignore it any more like he used to. His turmoil doesn't get unnoticed by his friends, but when asked Dan Heng insists that everything is fine, nothing is happening, and to not worry about him. Of course they didnt believe him, but they didnt question further what was going on, hoping to see him opening it up sooner than later.ย 

But he wonโ€™t.ย 

Not when Dan Heng has no idea how to explain what its happening to him, unsure about what's happening to him too. He just knows he must search for you and find you and bring you back to him, where you deserve to be, where you needed to be.ย 

Sono Io O Sei Tu? Sono Io O Sei Tu!?

This work belongs to @/alj0saray, do not repost, translate, copy, rewrite or share on tiktok without my permission. Reblogs are appreciated and encouragedโ™ก

โ†ณห—หห‹TaglistหŠหŽห— โ†ด none. want to be added to my taglist? Please check here! Feel free to send some feedback about it๐Ÿค


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1 year ago

Falling in love at the wrong time - gepard

Where the captain of the silvermane guards catches feelings for you, but unfortunately can't pursue that love in the end... ~1.2k words, mutual pining ! hurt/comfort-ish but more angst ? ! reader has siblings and low-ish self esteem (apologies for the plot holes and ooc! i couldnt really refer to a wiki)

Falling In Love At The Wrong Time - Gepard

They say a shield blocks all harm in sight.

But why did they hurt him?ย 

Why did you leave him?ย 

The newly-appointed captain stood in the billowing winds, vision nearly blinded by the blizzard. Horns blared in victory, yet, it felt ironic. It felt like a total loss to him, his comrades laid dead on the snowy grounds, ruby blood staining the chastity of the pure, white snow. He felt disappointed in himself for not preventing the inevitable deaths from happening. Gepardโ€™s chest was still heaving from the intense fight. He paced around the battlefield, checking the premises for any surviving Silvermane Guards. Heโ€™d only find a few, who stood against the harsh winds of Jarilo VI.

Once Gepard returned to the city of Belobog, the first person that he sought for wasnโ€™t Cocolia Rand, the Supreme Guardian (at that time, at least). Instead, the one that he yearned to see was you. You were the strategist for the Silvermane Guards, handling and distributing supplies for wars, planning out war tactics with your team. He had admired you when he was but a humble soldier.

Of course, Gepard had to finish his duties first, so he headed to Qlipoth Fort to drop off some reports on the number of fatalities and such. Once he entered, he was greeted by the warmth of the heater and the serious atmosphere of the office.ย 

โ€œSit, Landau,โ€ Cocolia commanded.ย 

Gathered at the Supreme Guardianโ€™s desk were a quartet: Gepard, Cocolia, her daughter Bronya, and you. His eyes widened at the sight of you. You look more tired than ever, dark circles lining the underside of your eyes, your eyes were near bloodshot, veins popping out of your forehead, hair more tousled than heโ€™s ever seen it.ย 

โ€œ...?โ€ย 

โ€œI have decided to resign as the strategist for the Silvermane Guards, respected individuals of Belobog. I apologise for any troubles I have brought to you all by making this decision, and Iโ€™m especially sorry to you, Gepard.โ€ย 

You turned to him, tears brimming your eyes, as you subtly lifted your head up and blinked, trying to hide your emotions behind the stone cold walls of the Fort.ย 

โ€œIโ€™m so sorry, but youโ€™ll have to work alone for now. Iโ€™m sure Iโ€™ll be easy to replace,โ€ you smiled, bitter from the depths of your heart from the thought that the one watching Gepard and the others fight on from the sidelines would no longer be you.ย 

โ€œYour resignation will be processed by the end of the month, for the remaining of the time, please continue to serve Belobog to the best of your ability.โ€

โ€œDismissed.โ€ย 

The final words of Cocolia ricocheted off the walls. The two of you shuffled out the office and out to the city. The two of you didnโ€™t speak a word to each other, you could only hear the clinking of Gepardโ€™s armour, and the soft sniffles from you as you soon realised that tears were falling down onto the snow.ย 

โ€œLook at me.โ€ย 

โ€œIโ€™m sorry, I was too-โ€

You sank to the ground in distress, Gepard following suit. He was so curious, curious about why you had to resign, curious about how your face would look when you were crying (though heโ€™d die instead of admitting it). Seeing your weeping form only made him want to protect you more, to hold you in his muscular arms, and to stroke your hair to ease your sorrows. His heart sped up as he resisted the impulse to do just that. But alas, even the strongest soldier messes up sometimes.ย 

โ€œGepard?!โ€

โ€œLetโ€™s justโ€ฆstay like this. I know both of us need it. And I know that I need you, no matter in war, or in life.โ€

You softly nodded. Being a strategist meant that you had to be proficient in thinking logically and emotionally to understandโ€ฆwell, war. And you were pretty sure that the feelings you had towards him were mutual. When Gepard pulled away, you couldnโ€™t really understand what was going through his mind. Did he even realise that he subconsciously confessed to you? Was he regretting what he said? Was he still lost in his own thoughts?

Youโ€™d guess he soon realised what he said, because he shot up from the ground, and shook his head repeatedly like a Plains Bear Cub plopping out of the snow.ย 

โ€œI didnโ€™t mean it like that!โ€ He blurted.ย 

You clasped his gloved hand into yours, feeling Gepard's (significantly larger) hand encapsulate yours. You wanted to make it clear to him that being a strategist was too mentally taxing for you, and how you had planned to move back to the Underworld to support your siblings. But yet, no words dared to form at the tip of your tongue. Now that it was basically confirmed that Gepard has feelings for you, you didnโ€™t want to break it to him. There was no way he would throw away his job just to accompany someone like you. You were sure that Cocolia could find a new strategist as fast as she could snap her fingers.ย 

โ€œIโ€ฆIโ€™m moving, Gepard. I know that we both have feelings for each other, but I simply wonโ€™t let you leave so many opportunities behind just to join me in the Underworld. You have Serval and Lynx to take care of, and I have my own siblings too.โ€ย 

โ€œI understand. Butโ€ฆโ€ย 

โ€œThereโ€™s no excuse for you to come with me. There are so many people waiting to take my spot, and Iโ€™m sure that theyโ€™ll be ever more capable than I. So, my love, just wait. Maybe on another snowy day, weโ€™ll meet on the battlefield, but perhaps in a war between the overworld and the underworld. You know how things are these days.โ€ย 

โ€œI canโ€™t possibly have your blood on my hands!โ€ Gepard couldnโ€™t believe it. Asides from the silly crushes from the military academies heโ€™d attended, you were his first love. You were the one who agreed to plant flowers with him, or teach him how to sing without going off-key. But now? Youโ€™re leaving. And worse? You could be fighting against him one day. You were sure to be on the frontlines because of the lack of personnel in the underworld. With little to no actual fighting experience you had, you were basically dead before the battle even started.ย 

Perhaps you were right. On another day, where winds billowed the same way they did months ago, a discordance of gunshots and cannons played as gunpowder and snow blinded Gepard again. His eyes were locking on to every person from the underworld, but his main target was his lover. He couldnโ€™t find you. You were gone, lost to the blizzard.ย 

Gepardโ€™s ears drowned out the loud โ€œboomโ€s and โ€œbangโ€s of the battlefield, he was only focused on finding you. He needed to see you, he needed to see the hands that he once held, or the frame of yours that he once embraced.ย 

โ€œCaptain! Isnโ€™t thatโ€ฆโ€ One of the guards bellowed.ย 

Gepard knew youโ€™d die at the hands of his own soldiers.ย 

He just didnโ€™t expect you to have a small smile on your face as you laid, blood soaking the snow.ย 

Little did he know, your last thought as you laid dying was him.ย 


Tags
1 year ago
Pairing: Dr. Ratio X Gender Neutral Reader
Pairing: Dr. Ratio X Gender Neutral Reader

pairing: dr. ratio x gender neutral reader

contains: angst, insecurities, friends to ???, open ended, mutual (?) pining, banter (?), i tried to make their dialogue lighthearted, reader is a writer/author in this, you call him veritas alot

synopsis: a friend, that's all you'll ever be to him.

word count: 1.9k

a/n: wrote from 400 to almost 2k in one night hehe, i wanted to atleast update my other event so i did. and if i get asked if this has part two uhm, i WILL think about it :D based on a true story (aka im not sure if i like one of my guy friends)

part of the comeback festa

Pairing: Dr. Ratio X Gender Neutral Reader

Meeting Veritas Ratio was one of the best things that happened to you.

He was a bit eccentric, really intimidating and you're still unsure why both of you became friends so easily.

You liked different things, and people would scoff or laugh at you when you told them that the scary Dr. Ratio was your dearest friend.

When you had free time, you'd meet with one another and discuss the happenings of the week. He'd tell you about the various research topics he delved into or the interesting students he spotted on his lecture.

Meanwhile, you'd tell him about the activities you found yourself in when gathering inspiration for a novel. And Veritas Ratio must not look like he's interested - oh, but he is invested whenever you recount the flowery ideas that came to you that day.

And it was inevitable that you saw the man as not only your dearest friend, but someone you fell in love with.

It was a simple affair really, you'd think that the Veritas Ratio was hard to love yet it was easier than taking a breath of fresh air. He may look cold on the outside yet when you talk to him- you undeniably feel warm.

Other people won't notice it but you do. You know how much he values teaching his students because the way he animatedly โ€œrantsโ€ about his students - you could see the sparkle in his eyes, that desire to impart knowledge to those who can't do the same as him.

The more you stare into his mesmerizing eyes or imagine the way you'd card your fingers through his hair - you lay awake in your bed, wishing that Veritas Ratio would feel the same for you.

Pairing: Dr. Ratio X Gender Neutral Reader

โ€œYou look distressed, is something troubling you?โ€ He asks out of nowhere when you were eating lunch together.

It was a bit late for lunch yet he still found time to eat with you, and he even brought the foods you wanted to try for a long time.ย 

โ€œAhโ€ฆme? It's about my novel. I'm getting stuck on the plot and whatnot.โ€ You say, eyes flitting away from his inquisitive gaze.

โ€œOh, care to tell me about it? I could even offer my input.โ€

It wasn't even said in romantic intent yet your heart races loudly in your chest.

โ€œIt's a short one this time. The protagonist found themselves falling for their longtime friend but can't say it for fear of rejection or ruining the friendship.โ€

After voicing it out, you're seriously considering the planet to swallow you whole because isn't that a bit too obvious?

โ€œWhat's got you stuck then? I'm quite sure you are well versed in this type of storyline, are you not?โ€ He tells you with an eyebrow raise.

You can't speak further, in fear of revealing your true feelings to the man before you. And so you swallow your words and laugh.

โ€œYou're rightโ€ฆโ€

Pairing: Dr. Ratio X Gender Neutral Reader

In the months that follow, you're hoping Veritas hadn't noticed a single thing amiss with how you're acting.

You also hope most of your excuses are credible and don't seem as if you're avoiding him. You've got to thank some of your colleagues for barging in on some of them, if not then this whole charade would have been discovered long ago.

Veritas Ratio is very observant, he won't talk much and it's subtle. You get surprised when he mentions something out of the blue and you realize it's those you've said when you think he wasn't listening.

And when another friend of yours comes to you and starts talking, you aren't worriedโ€ฆwell for the meanwhile.

โ€œI heard you liked someone.โ€ She said, clinging on your arm and gushing. She's the type that wants to be updated on all the latest gossip and you would have loved to listen if Veritas wasn't a few feet away.

He could rattle your ear off about bringing noisy coworkers in his โ€˜safe spaceโ€™ even when you're in public. You gaze over to him and see that he isn't listening and is focusing on his book.

โ€œWhereโ€™d you hear that?โ€ Pulling away from her, you asked - hoping that she would back off after having been entertained.

โ€œThat doesn't matter! What matters is who you like!โ€

You do not like where this is going.

And from your peripheral, Veritas raises his head - it looks as if he's disinterested or annoyed even, yet he doesn't try to push away the source of noise.

โ€œI heard it's a friend of yours.โ€

This is really bad.

โ€œI'm not sure where you've heard of that, but it isn't true!โ€ Your voice pitches up, eyes signaling for your other friend to shut up.

Sighing, you pull her farther from where Veritas was sitting. And you cross your arms, needing that explanation.

โ€œIs it really Dr. Ratio?โ€ If you hadn't dragged her further then she would have exposed you and you would've died on the spot.

โ€œWhere did you hear that from?โ€ You asked again, exasperated, maybe paranoid because you feel Veritas would teleport to where you were and expose everything about you.

โ€œI didn't hear anything really. It's obvious!โ€

You can't speak after that.

Pairing: Dr. Ratio X Gender Neutral Reader

Realizing that your true feelings are quite evident, you don't even know how to act in front of your friend.

How could you act normally in that situation? The truth had slapped you in the face after avoiding it for so long - when you got back to where Veritas was sitting, you couldn't even look him in the eye!

Thankfully, you had evaded his prodding and saved yourself from more questioning when a call from work interrupted you both.

Though, the problem lies in the aftermath. How could you face him when hanging out? A few months earlier you could have stared at his face normally yet now when you hear his voice - your heart speeds up.

Groaning, you bump your forehead against the wooden desk. The manuscript of your novel is laid spread over the table. By this time, you think Veritas had connected all the dots - he's smart after all.

Your phone rings and when you pick it up, you see his name.

โ€œSpeak of the devil,โ€ you muttered after accepting the call and he questions your greeting.

โ€œWhat?โ€

You've got to get it together!

โ€œIt's nothing. Anyway, why did you call me?โ€ You scribble on the sides of the scratch paper you found scattered on your desk while waiting for his response.

โ€œWhat, I can't just call a friend?โ€ He huffed and you had to pinch yourself to stop imagining things.

โ€œYou can. But it is very unlike you, doctor.โ€ย  you jest, trying to regain composure, willing yourself to not slip up anything during this conversation.

โ€œI'm lying too. I just wanted to hear your voice, is that bad?โ€

Now that is bad. Your cheeks flare up and you're thankful he isn't in front of you or your eyes would go everywhere and you'd be stuttering.

โ€œWhat has gotten into you?โ€ You asked and his answer just infuriates you.

โ€œI can ask you the same thing.โ€ He hums, and your stomach does that weird somersault.

โ€œNothing's the matter, why'd you ask?โ€ Maybe you can get this conversation shifted to another topic, I could ask him about his past lectures or his future lessons-

โ€œBy now you would have pestered me to come here. But you haven't.โ€

You chuckle in utter disbelief, โ€œI find that hard to believe.โ€

Silence drapes over the call like a warm blanket, and you would have welcomed it if it wasn't for his next words.

โ€œI wanted you to come here actually.โ€

He must be joking.

A quiet what escapes your lips and you hear that melodious laugh resonate in your ears. You swoon but remember the circumstances, you freeze right after.

You would have loved to hear what he has to say next, after all he is talkative about things he likes. But your shaking fingers press on the end button and the phone drops against the desk.

The thoughts that came subsequently was a grim reminder of your situation.

Pairing: Dr. Ratio X Gender Neutral Reader

You like Veritas Ratio, and you're scared to tell him.

It was those cliche and cheesy romance novels you would have enjoyed reading, the conflict before resolution before the two love interests. The absolute torment the lead characters would go through while internalizing if they were good enough for the other.

You then remind yourself that Veritas Ratio wasn't a book character and neither were you.

It had been a few weeks since your last conversation. And he probably understood the silence that came from your end because he hadn't tried reaching out.

This hurts you, but only slightly. Admitting that it's painful solidifies the fact that you are head over heels for Dr. Ratio.

Evading your long time friend was out of the question, it's about time that he barged into your home and questioned you on why you were so adamant on ignoring him after not explaining yourself.

But how could you? How could you explain that you were scared to admit your feelings to him, in fear that he would leave you?

Veritas Ratio was first and foremost, your dearest friend - losing him over some feelings wasn't worth it. You weren't worth it.

You were not deserving of someone like Veritas Ratio. He was the sun and you were the moon chasing after him - being friends with him was all you needed and even if you hide your feelings till it hurts then so be it.

Just then, someone started knocking on your door. You weren't expecting anybody yet still you opened and saw the bane of your existence.

Pairing: Dr. Ratio X Gender Neutral Reader

Seeing him after so long knocks the breath out of your lungs. He looks worried over you and you wished he wasn't, you prayed that he was angry at you instead at least your heart won't start beating erratically in your chest.

Words weren't spoken but you let him in. After all, the walls of your home missed his presence and it was like he was never gone.

When you were both sitting on the couch, his eyes observed you carefully. You know him by now and so you avoid his prying gaze and will your hands to stop trembling.

He asks why he was being avoided and if he did something wrong, he sounded so desperate and you wanted to confess. But that looming fear squeezed your chest as if stopping you from saying anything else.

โ€œYou didn'tโ€ฆI just wanted time for myself for a while.โ€ You knew what he wanted to say afterwards. He'd inquire why it wasn't shared to him right away - as friends, you regarded each other as a safe space.ย 

You know Veritas as patient but right now, he is getting desperate. He knows you're lying, you are hiding away from him but why - he knows he hasn't done anything wrong yet why are you so persistent in keeping this from him?

โ€œYou're lying.โ€

Tears have become present in your eyes, your palms have spread on your thighs and pressing against them is the only thing stopping you from breaking.

โ€œWhy can't you tell me anything anymore? I thought we were friends?โ€

Friends. That's all you'll ever be to him. You should know that yetโ€ฆ

โ€œI've liked you for a while now.โ€

You didn't know what compelled you to confess but the words flew out of your mouth. Your heart was beating loudly against your ears, your hands never stopped trembling and your eyes glanced towards his.

โ€œI know you might not feel the same wayโ€ฆโ€

His eyes have widened, mouth agape slightly yet he stays silent, curious on what you were saying.

โ€œI don't know when I started liking you, and I'm aware it could ruin ourโ€ฆfriendship. I'm sorry.โ€

Meeting Veritas Ratio was one of the best things that happened to you.

You're just not sure if he would like to see you again after this.

Pairing: Dr. Ratio X Gender Neutral Reader

all rights reserved ยฉ vynlouvre 2024


Tags
1 year ago

do you feel like a young god?

synopsis โ˜† blade wishes that his path had never collided with yours.

content info โ€” smut (minors stay away ๐Ÿ˜ก i'm warning you), ANGST, fem! reader, regular fic but with a twist on the format. violence at the very end so be aware of that.

word count โ€” 2.1k words.

author's note โ€” this has been in my drafts forever. normally i don't write angst but i was listening to halsey's badlands album & it instantly gave birth to this fic. the entire album is so blade coded that it hurts. anyways this is just 100% pain and smut, there is no comfort. nonetheless i hope you enjoy this drabble and its unplanned christmas theme (i apologize in advance ๐Ÿ˜“) ALSO i'm working on reqs as we speak i swear

Do You Feel Like A Young God?

BLADE has never had time to entertain romantic affairs, or even indulge in spontaneous sexual encounters. such matters reeked of the kind of superficial sentimentality that he's long discarded due to its blatant, disgusting lack of appeal. since heโ€™s remembered, all heโ€™s ever really wanted is to taste death, to be enrobed within its earnest invitation and to finally relieve himself of his all-consuming burden. there was no room for anything elseโ€”especially something as trivial as fulfilling the human heartโ€™s wishes.

YOU didn't plan to get involved with the agenda of the stellaron hunters, but perhaps your hopes were ultimately futile when your older sister was their very leader. really, what's funny was the fact that even though you two were related by blood, and were raised together, you only shared two traits: a sharp gaze tinted with magenta and the useful gift of perception. otherwise, you might as well have been nameless strangers. you were kind, forgiving, and preferred to heal rather than harm; kafka was the complete opposite, her manicured fingers gleefully stained with scarlet.

BLADE remembers finding himself in an unusual state of confusion when he had first met you. your appearance in itself contrasted against your team members; whereas they wore dark shades of black, purple, and red, you were clad in smooth clothes of pure silver, which didnโ€™t make sense since they would end up dirtied and tainted either way. he remembers disapproving of your very presence because you seemed entirely unfit to fulfill your jobโ€”to kill mercilessly and to follow elio's script without an ounce of remorse or hesitation. "you don't belong here," he'd sneered, his vexation only increasing when he saw the docile smile you'd given him in response.

YOU weren't ever truly angered by the blatant acts of disrespect that blade displayed during the earliest stages of your connection. some would argue that you possessed the patience of a saint, and though you wouldn't exactly disprove such a claim, you'd say that it extended far beyond that. there was something you saw behind the scarlet hue of blade's gaze, something that lain dormant behind all the hostility. for a reason unknown, you soon grew the desire to discover it, and to maybe in turn help the man in some way. it didn't matter if a part of your soul had to be sacrificedโ€”you would do it.

BLADE found it all too easy to decline your attempts. it was a continuous, repetitive process, where youโ€™d seek him out and offer a few questions that seemed unassuming at first, and heโ€™d respond by pointing out the obvious holes ruining your facade. he didnโ€™t know why you were suddenly so eager to uncover information about himโ€”or, to โ€œproperly acquaint yourselfโ€ as youโ€™d innocently described itโ€”but he didnโ€™t care either way because it wasnโ€™t worth trying to. at least those were the words he told himself for the first four months.

YOU managed to break down the weakest parts of bladeโ€™s walls by the fifth month. it was slow, and arduous, and yes, a bit frustratingโ€”hearing him curse you out wasnโ€™t really a motivating experienceโ€”but ultimately your efforts prevailed in the end. finally, if only a little bit, he opened up to you, and he began giving short but actual responses instead of a mere grunt or a simple click of the tongue. and so he started filling in small snippets about himself. how he found pleasure in the familiarity of a sword. how he despised the way your sister called him โ€˜bladie.โ€™ how kuding tea was one of his preferred drinks. how he couldnโ€™t remember the last time he dreamt in his slumber.

BLADE was rather astounded by the change in behavior you seemed to have withdrawn from him. at first he denied the reality and brushed off the occurrence as him simply taking the easier route, so that he didnโ€™t continue to waste unnecessary effort on dodging your pesky questions. but here was the truthโ€”he wasnโ€™t lazy, ever. he always did things for a reason, always justified his actions with some kind of logic, no matter how immoral. something strange was happening, and he wasnโ€™t entirely sure why, but he still tried to maintain a form of apathetic distance. blade convinced himself that things were remaining strictly professional. even as his pale hands somehow found themselves entangled within your soft hair during one stormy night, and even as his chapped lips pressed against yours.

YOU were surprised but not at all unwelcoming of the unorthodox suggestion that blade gave you one day. in a tone that betrayed no emotion, he askedโ€”well, perhaps demandedโ€”that you two enter a sort of arrangement that he called โ€œbeing each otherโ€™s respective stress relief.โ€ in a more straightforward, explicit manner, you two would use each other for physical pleasure whenever needed. that was where the intimacy started, and it was where it ended. with your heart beating a bit more than it should have, you agreed. blade smiledโ€”a small, predatory kind of smileโ€”before engulfing you in a harsh kiss, backing you into the wall as his hand squeezed around your neck.

BLADE relished the sounds that he was able to elicit from youโ€”sweet, pretty little moans, desperate, high-pitched whines, and of course, the breathless mantra of his own name. every ounce of it made him swell with smug pride, and made his cock harden even more. your eyes would shut tightly whenever you felt particularly overwhelmed with pleasure, and of course heโ€™d always force you to open them. after all he needed you to see just how much of a slut you were for him, just how much heโ€™d ruin you with the marks heโ€™d leave all over your skin and the countless orgasms heโ€™d trigger within you. somewhere in the very back of his mind, there was a faint voice that warned him of the territory he was threatening to cross, just barely short of touching the edge. but he ignored it in favor of savoring the depraved sense of exhilaration that electrified his veins, knowing that he was the one corrupting his colleagueโ€™s sweet, innocent, naive little sister.

YOU found your heart beating impossibly faster every time your lips met his, every time he quietly snuck into your quarters and whispered things that were only for you to hear. of course it was only inevitable that you fell in love with the man himself. long forgotten was your goal to solely fix him because in a strange, almost twisted way, it was like you were healing yourself with every scorching touch of his fingers, every relentless thrust of his hips. and for better or for worse, it felt like he was starting to care for you against all odds, and you saw it through the littlest of things. how his dull scarlet eyes seemed to brighten just for a second when he saw you, how he started to stay the night after he ravished you, how his fingers traced your beautifully bruised skin with an uncharacteristic gentleness when he thought you were asleep. you loved it, and soon his embrace was the only thing you learned to crave.

BLADE seemed like he was caught in a peculiar trance ever since you two had agreed to the "stress relief" arrangement. it was unimaginable, reallyโ€”or at least it should have been. not once had he felt such unbridled emotion for a woman, or for any person in general. he detested the sensation at first. hated how vulnerable it made him feel. so, whenever he felt particularly exposed, whenever you smiled at him for too long, he used your body as a distraction. he'd mark your skin as if he was nothing more than a mindless animal, would pin both your wrists above your head as he snarled, hips smacking against yours. the strategy would work for some time, but the moment he saw you fall into a peaceful slumberโ€”exhausted from all the rigorous activityโ€”the emotions would come rushing at him again, full force. soon there was a voice at the back of his mind, whispering of how he was falling into a trap. one that he had arrogantly, unknowingly set for himself.

YOU started to feel a shift in blade's behavior, noticing how he became more distant as the days passed. your conversations shortened and shortened until they became almost reminiscent of the ones you'd have at the beginning of your relationship. your nightly sessions dwindled in frequency, eventually reaching the point where he barely even knocked on your door at all. all of it drove you to the brink of insanity, worry consuming every ounce of your being until you couldn't handle it anymore. "what the hell?" you had hissed, pulling the man aside once silver wolf and your sister had retreated to their quarters for the night. "why won't you talk to me, blade? what did i do?" but even that didn't work. all he did was scoff and push past your figure, shaking off your grip when you reached out for him. the next day, you were so distraught that, in a fit of desperation, you asked your sister for help. but the only thing you received was a look of warped pity and an obscure comment. "once the candle burns out, the room grows dark again." kafka murmured.

BLADE couldn't handle any of it anymore, his seemingly endless endurance having reached past its limit. he hated the way you looked at him in confusion and anger, and most of all, betrayal, as if he had stabbed you in the back. he might as well have. but above that, he hated the way you reminded him of his curse's weight. in another life, he had thought of immortality as a giftโ€”a gleaming trophy awarded only to those who had gone above and beyond to prove their superiority. how foolish he had been. immortality was a burden, its pressure so insurmountable that it felt heavier than holding up the sky itself. from the very beginning, he'd known that being immortal meant that he'd have to watch the people around him fall prey to death's embrace, but somehow that simple fact evaded his mind when heโ€”it still pains him to admit thisโ€”developed feelings for you. he wasn't quite sure if what he felt was love in its raw form, but he was pretty damn certain that it was the closest he was going to ever get. because as selfishly and disgustingly sentimental as it was, the last thing he wanted was to see you wither with age, until you were nothing more than another corpse. and so with a shaky breath, and an unstable heart, he decided to handle the situation in the only way he knew how to.

the truth was that YOU truly were one of the most perceptive people out there, even as heartbreak dulled your senses. so you heard the muted footsteps and saw the swiftly approaching shadow. you knew who it was, even without sparing a glance. still, you remained motionless, your movements almost painfully frozen as your eyes slid shut. tears silently rolled down your face, staining your skin even before the sword pierced through your chest. crimson seeped through your silver blouse like ink on a blank canvas. you fell to the ground, exhaling unshakily, unrivaled pain blooming within every inch of your body. you felt the strength being drained from your spirit, but you mustered the will to meet blade's scarlet gaze. "guess i should have expected this, huh?" you murmur, fingers moving to feel where he'd stabbed you. silently, blade crouched down to your level, his expression unreadable. you reached for his hand, neither of you flinching when his skin became stained with your blood.

"all of this was a mistake," BLADE muttered, tone betraying not even an ounce of emotion. still, he kept his fingers intertwined with yours, and that action alone was enough. "my fate is already determined, but you sealed your own the second you approached me." the wind was cold and unforgiving around the two of you, its invisible talons recklessly combing through the man's ebony strands of hair. but blade paid it no mind, not even when a particularly harsh gust threatened to overwhelm your last words. and as time would tell, those were the very words that would haunt him in the future.

"i'd seal my fate over and over if it meant that i'd see you happy again." you whispered, and for once you failed to notice one crucial detail.

for the first and last time, blade's vision grew blurry from his tears.

Do You Feel Like A Young God?

Tags
6 months ago

"General, This Ain't A Cat"

-> Masterlist || โ†’ Taglist

"General, This Ain't A Cat"

Pairing: Jing Yuan x (gn!) Reader

Summary: One day you find a cute white lion cub scratching on your front door, little did you know that the actual owner of it was Jing Yuan, the General of the Xianzhou Luofu himself. And he might have the wrong idea about the little thing, too...

Tags: Fluff, Crack, Jing Yuan's Lion loves you, inspired by the General's Diary you can find in HSR, flustered Jing Yuan

A/N: I love him a very normal amount, your honor! The fact he is a cat dad too is just too cute! And also that he got scammed trying to buy a cat and instead unknowingly managed to buy a lion makes it so much funnier. I can only recommend reading his diary ingame lmao

"General, This Ain't A Cat"

A distinct scratching sound on the front door of your home made you perk up in your seat. You waited for the sound to reappear a couple of times before deciding to check what was causing it.

You slowly opened the door and looked outside. But both to the right and to the left you spotted nothing that couldโ€™ve caused the sound. It was also relatively windstill on the Luofu today so that also couldnโ€™t have been it.

Just as you were about to close the door again you spotted the culprit behind the flower pot right next to your door. It was a small, snow-white lion cub, not older than a couple of months at best, and it looked at you pleadingly with its azure-colored eyes.

Did it want to come in?

You knelt down on your doorstep and stretched your hand out towards it, prompting it to come over to you. It hesitantly tiptoed in your direction from behind the flower pot, carefully smelling on your fingers first before bumping its head into your hand. You began scratching its head and not too long after a loud purr could be heard.

It was such a cute little thing you were almost tempted to snatch it and keep it. But a beautiful animal like that had to belong to someone, right?

You picked the soft bundle of fur up and walked towards the main road to look around. Maybe it ran away and the owner was still around looking for it? They had to be since you never heard of any instances of strays on the Luofu.

A little bit further down the street, you spotted two Cloud Knights with a bag of treats in their hand. They were eagerly shaking them to make rattling sounds and simultaneously scanned the ground for something. Looks like they are the people the little cutie belonged to.

"Hey," you called out to them. "Are you looking for this snow lion perhaps?"

"Oh, thank the Heavens!" One of the guards exclaimed. "We've been looking for it the entire day already.โ€

One of the guards stretched out their arms to take the little lion cub into his arms but it made no fuss to go anywhere. In fact, it was clinging to you and started purring loudly, bumping its head into your chest.

โ€œHey, you little cutie. You have to get back home. Iโ€™m sure youโ€™re hungry by now, arenโ€™t you? Enough adventure for one day.โ€ You said in a higher-pitched voice. Its eyes almost looked sad and it let out a squeak the moment you handed it back to the soldiers and waved them goodbye.

As soon as you were back home you couldnโ€™t help but think about the little lion again. It was the first time you had ever seen one with such a majestic fur and eye color. Whoever it belonged to could surely count themself lucky.ย 

A couple of days passed and you went about your days as normal until you heard the familiar scratching at your front door again.ย 

Unlike the first time you immediately knew it must be the same lion from a few days prior. You went to open the door again and the white bundle of fur immediately zoomed inside of your home.

Alerted, you immediately began chasing it around your living room. As much as you wanted to actually keep it as well, you absolutely couldnโ€™t. Someone was waiting for it and probably worried about its disappearance once again. You for sure would turn the Luofu upside down if it was your missing pet.

Snatching the little complaining bundle of fur up again proved difficult as it was clinging and clawing at your carpet for dear life, but you eventually managed.

Carrying it outside once again you looked for Cloud Knights you could return it to again but this time a blonde teen boy, dressed in blue and no older than maybe fourteen was walking down the street with treats this time. And for some reason, he seemed oddly familiar.

โ€œMimi? Miiiii-Miiiii. Come get your treats!!โ€ The blonde boy shouted and shook the treat box in his hands like a rattle.

The little lion cub, apparently named Mimi, perked its ears up in your arms and began trying to wriggle out of your grasp. You let it jump down and watched it zoom in the direction of the boy, sitting down and looking up at him with hungry and expectant eyes.

โ€œThere you are, you little troublemaker!โ€ He says furrowing his brows and throwing Mimi a handful of treats.

Going off of the way the lion reacted to his voice you assumed it was probably his pet lion.

He picked it up and started petting it, eliciting it to close its eyes, start purring and relax in his arms. The boy smiled at it fondly and slightly shook his head in disbelief over the little rascal before looking down the street to where you were standing.

โ€œHey, you!โ€ He shouted and started trotting in your direction. โ€œWere you the one who found Mimi?โ€

You nodded in response before wondering how he couldโ€™ve figured that out considering he didnโ€™t see you with Mimi at all.

โ€œWait how did you-?โ€ You inquired with furrowed brows.

He just pointed at your chest, or more specifically, at your shirt in reply. Following the direction of his finger with your gaze you soon realized that you were entirely covered in white fluff from when you were holding Mimi.

โ€œAh. Well of course. That makes sense,โ€ you chuckled. โ€œDoes it run away a lot?โ€ You asked pointing at the still happily purring snow lion in the blonde boyโ€™s arms.

He simply rolled his eyes and smiled in reply. โ€œAll the time.โ€

โ€œWell, it seems to be fond of my front door as of late. I live just a bit further down the street. So chances are if it runs away again, it might be near my house again.โ€

โ€œGood to know. Certainly makes things easier,โ€ he nodded. โ€œIโ€™m Yanqing, by the way!โ€

Thatโ€™s why he seemed so familiar. He is the lieutenant of the Luofu Cloud Knights and you had seen him here and there in an official capacity but you generally didnโ€™t pay too much attention to those so you couldnโ€™t quite put your finger on it earlier.

It certainly explained the beautiful and special-looking animal in his arms.

You grabbed the hand he held out to you and introduced yourself as well before bidding him farewell for now not too long after. Looking after him as he walked back home you smiled to yourself and hoped for him that he would be able to keep his little lion cub in check from now on.

A couple more days passed once more after that encounter until someone rang your doorbell. You werenโ€™t expecting any visitors, especially not this late in the evening so you wondered who would possibly come over at this time of day.

Out of every possible person on the ship, however, you certainly didnโ€™t expect the General of the Luofu in the flesh to be your late-night visitor. He was standing in front of your door with hands folded behind his back and staring down the street, waiting for your to open the door.

โ€œGood evening, Generalโ€ฆ Can I help you with something?โ€ You carefully inquired with some hesitancy in your voice.ย 

You suddenly felt very small, and that was not only because he was a tall, handsome, and quite muscular man but also because you were more than just a bit intimidated.

Nothing to worry about, right? It was only the most important man on the entire ship standing in front of your house.ย 

Naturally, your mind immediately came to the conclusion that you mustโ€™ve done something wrong.

โ€œUhm-,โ€ he began, scratching the back of his neck. โ€œDo you happen to know where my cat is?

Out of every possible thing he couldโ€™ve said, this was the last thing you expected.

โ€œYourโ€ฆ cat?โ€ You asked in disbelief. He simply nodded and looked around your front yard once more.

โ€œItโ€™s white with bright blue eyes. Yanqing has informed me that Mimi is quite fond of you and keeps escaping to your house.โ€

So it was his pet. But wait, didnโ€™t he just sayโ€ฆ

โ€œCat?โ€

โ€œYes. A small grimalkin, up to no good, constantly runs away. My cat.โ€ He elaborated.

At that point, you couldnโ€™t help but burst into laughter. He seemed very taken aback and confused by your outburst and you were almost inclined to say that it made him, this big hunk of a man, look like a huge, gentle teddy bear.

โ€œCare to explain what is so funny?โ€ He asked crossing his arms in front of his chest.

โ€œForgive me, General,โ€ you wiped a tear out of the corner of your eyes. โ€œI do not wish to burst your bubble here but your cat may not be what you think it is.โ€

โ€œWhat are you implying?โ€

โ€œItโ€™s a lion, General. I can assure you, itโ€™s most certainly not a cat.โ€

You observed how his eyes widened in surprise and a hint of pink began to dust his cheeks behind his long bangs. You had to bite your lip in order to not start laughing again. He really didnโ€™t know. And the fact you made him aware of it seemed to be quite embarrassing to him.

โ€œOh. Uhmโ€ฆ well, I actually had my suspicions already.โ€ He stated, once again scratching the back of his neck. You couldnโ€™t help but wonder how a man like him could manage to look this cute when flustered. And to think this was the first face-to-face contact you had ever had with him made it all the better.

Without a doubt, he was an attractive man, and that was something everyone aboard the Luofu would agree to. However, after witnessing him in this flustered, and quite frankly, adorable state tonight, your desire to get to know him on a more personal level increased.

โ€œWhat would it take for you to not tell anyone about this?โ€ He suddenly inquired. But before you could answer, he made an offer himself. One you couldnโ€™t possibly refuse after everything that transpired tonight.

โ€œHow does a dinner sound? My treat of course.โ€

โ€œHmm, very well. Or you could let your cat stay with me more often?โ€

โ€œWell, that can also be arranged,โ€ he chuckled with a playful smile. โ€œBut we come as a pair.โ€

"General, This Ain't A Cat"

Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - ยฉ dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about Genshin or my fics are always greatly appreciated and motivate me! Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.


Tags
2 years ago

self indulgent, but read if you want

๐–คโ‹†. เฟเฟ”

"i don't want to stay here." you said.

"where do you wanna go?" he asked.

"i wanna leave somewhere far away. somewhere where no one would find us. it'd just be us two."

"..." something happened, huh.

"hey, you know what?" he said, with a glint in his eye.

"hm?"

"run away with me, won't you?"


Tags
4 weeks ago

unfinished. lazy. cringe. Iโ€™m just gonna drop this here and run as fast as I can.

your gaze often drifts to sundayโ€™s hands.

you can make out the shape despite the gloves he refuses to take off among others. his fingers are slender, long. his hands are definitely bigger in size compared to yours. he doesnโ€™t shy away from having a touch of his surroundings. you wonder if he does it on purpose. just to tease you, perhaps, but that likely is not the case.

even if it were, you wouldnโ€™t be surprised. as the weeks pass, sunday gets to know more and more of you, eagerly. he is the first to chuckle at a remark you make, the first to understand what you couldnโ€™t explain properly, the first to acknowledge and easily accept your choices.

sunday, who supports and cherishes you so much because you were always good to him. never judging him for being new at the most basic things, showing him never ending patience, guiding him through the galaxy. sunday started to get used to this new life thanks to you.

you learn a lot from each other, you realize. sunday knows much about being a leader, though he refuses to show it anymore. you still are happy to ask for his guidance as he is better than you at making plans. he fears making the slightest mistake, refusing to take the lead. he isnโ€™t sure if heโ€™d want to make desicions for others ever again.

still, you ask about his thoughts on various occasions because he doesnโ€™t tend to see things as everyone else does. having to know different perspectives help a lot, you say. nevertheless, it always makes him feel like less of a burden.

โ€œcould you fill in here,โ€ he inquires, putting his notebook in front of you and handing you his pen. โ€œabout your opinion on our latest mission.โ€ he points at the empty space below his own writing. his letters are curvy and nice to look at. the question hangs in the air as you freeze in the spot. his hand is way too close to you, causing alarms to blare off in your head.

he calls out your name after a few seconds of you refusing to blink. your attention snaps back to him, as you beg to aeons that your cheeks are not red. โ€œyou want me to write on your diary?โ€ you ask, surprised.

he is unimpressed, it shows on his face. eyes narrowed, mouth crooked down. getting to see something different from the blank expression he usually makes is refreshing. and so up-close, that is. youโ€™d die to kiss him at least once your life. โ€œnot a diary, I wouldnโ€™t carry it everywhere with me if it were.โ€ he answers simply.

you turn your head to the not-diary in front of you. heโ€™s still handing out the pen. you reach your hand out to take it, and of course your hands brush against each other. your breath hitches before you can shut your mouth. and no, you donโ€™t look up to see his face. either seeing him weirded out or not affected at all would hurt you. you instead turn your attention to writing your review. you put the pen down on the table once you are done, not risking it again.

why you are so affected, a curious thought. you recall the first time you saw him play. you are sure your heart skipped a beat, many beats, actually. he was so focused and passionate that he didnโ€™t try and control his body movements as his fingers slid across the keyboard, fast. what a view he was making. the melody was rich, full of emotions. later that day, you realized you hadnโ€™t seen the face he was making while playing as you were too focused on his hands. next time, you think.


Tags
1 month ago

hi! fyi i have ZERO idea what iโ€™m doing. wanted a friend to read this and all she said was โ€œnot bad.โ€ so i guess here we go!

'___' means the event happened in the past

โ€œ___โ€ means right now

if you mind the grammar mistakes and such please keep on scrolling. this may not be for you.

ocd (or ocpd) coded sunday warning!! sorry if this is somehow offensive.

the thought keeps replaying in your mind, with him in your arms, fully asleep. your senses are filled with his scent, his softness. you squeeze him a little more, your heart aches with love. he feels too soft, you wonder how itโ€™s possible for someone to be tender in every part of his body.

one thing about sunday... is that he smells like heaven.

perhaps, heโ€™s not human, but angel.

he doesnโ€™t like getting called that, you note, โ€˜angels are saints, something I lost my chance to be.โ€™ he usually insists, still, itโ€™s hard not to compare him to one. not only due to his appearance. sure, his wings and halo are of help but... thereโ€™s more to it. you take a deep breath, the smell of clean clothes, clean sheats, and honey? must be the shampoo he uses, take the shape of your lungs. somehow you feel like you now breathe easier.

at some point in your life, the term 'fresh' started to remind you of him. you notice his dedication for hygiene, which is good, you love a clean man. then you get to know, it might be something to worry about.

โ€˜dirt, filth, grime... just imagining makes me uneasy. it disturbs me so much... to the point it becomes all I can think of until I get rid of it.โ€™ he informs you, folding the shirt perfectly symmetrical. your gaze snap back to the one in your hand, not as trim, also wrinkly (did he somehow iron his? how did you not see it? is there even iron around here?) you feel slightly ashamed. โ€˜i need everything tidied.โ€™ he continues, in order, he doesnโ€™t say aloud, yet you hear it.

ever since he admitted so, you become aware of your surroundings, of how sparkly and new they seem to be. everything smells like flowers, with a hint of cleaning supplies. not a single bug would want to live here, you think, relief comes after.

you watch as he slumbers, moonlight illuminating his beautiful face, unable to get enough of him. suddenly, he wakes, eyes fluttering, he opens them slowly, lazily, directly making eye contact with you. they widen, not expecting to see you awake, you smile. he considers shortly, trying to find his voice. you wait patiently, you always do.

โ€œcouldnโ€™t sleep?โ€ he asks in a hushed voice. โ€œhm... maybe it wasnโ€™t a good idea to eat dessert before bed.โ€ you answer. you both did, actually. knowing his sweet tooth now, you constantly try out new recipes, desperate to return his care and devotion.

because you know why he woke up so suddenly. he does every night, multiple times, to make sure you are still there, all well, he tucks you in again if you kicked the blanket off in your sleep. โ€˜I would hate it if you got sickโ€™, he simply explains if you catch him in middle of action. โ€˜youโ€™d hate the germs,โ€™ you joke, though you know he only cares about your condition. sometimes he frowns at your ungratefulness, sometimes ignoring it completely. he never gives a response, heโ€™s aware you are messing with him, that you know his intentions.

โ€œare you sure thatโ€™s the case?โ€ he inquires, he can see through you, with or without the blessing of harmony. odd, you think, you feel at much peace with a man knowing everything there is to about you. you nod, no nightmare could keep you up at night, not with him right next to you.

โ€œwould a lullaby help?โ€ there goes your favorite question. you nod eagerly, akin to a kid. he clears his throat, then begins humming a song softly, you recognize it, not sure of the name. exhaustion fills your senses, with your heart full, you drift off to sleep.


Tags
7 months ago

โบโ€งโ‚Šหš เฝเฝฒ ๐‘ฒ๐‘ฐ๐‘ต๐‘ฒ๐‘ป๐‘ถ๐‘ฉ๐‘ฌ๐‘น เฝ‹เพ€ หšโ‚Šโ€งโบ

 โบโ€งโ‚Šหš เฝเฝฒ ๐‘ฒ๐‘ฐ๐‘ต๐‘ฒ๐‘ป๐‘ถ๐‘ฉ๐‘ฌ๐‘น เฝ‹เพ€ หšโ‚Šโ€งโบ
 โบโ€งโ‚Šหš เฝเฝฒ ๐‘ฒ๐‘ฐ๐‘ต๐‘ฒ๐‘ป๐‘ถ๐‘ฉ๐‘ฌ๐‘น เฝ‹เพ€ หšโ‚Šโ€งโบ
 โบโ€งโ‚Šหš เฝเฝฒ ๐‘ฒ๐‘ฐ๐‘ต๐‘ฒ๐‘ป๐‘ถ๐‘ฉ๐‘ฌ๐‘น เฝ‹เพ€ หšโ‚Šโ€งโบ

โ€”เผ‰โ€งโ‚Šหš. โ€œ ALL IN โ€ m.list

featuring. Aventurine โ€” Honkai Star Rail | kink. makeup sex

synopsis. Aventurine used to be your partner in crime until he left you abruptly when a gamble went wrong, which he took all the money for, leaving you with nothing except hatred for the man. He makes up for it later on, but not with the money he owed you.

content warning. Smut, kissing, p-to-v, semi-dominant reader, submissive male lead, make-up sex, sarcastic banter, and more!..

 โบโ€งโ‚Šหš เฝเฝฒ ๐‘ฒ๐‘ฐ๐‘ต๐‘ฒ๐‘ป๐‘ถ๐‘ฉ๐‘ฌ๐‘น เฝ‹เพ€ หšโ‚Šโ€งโบ

The noise of the casino was a dull roar in your ears as you nursed a whiskey at the bar. It had been over a year since you last set foot in this placeโ€”not since that night when a careless wager ended with you being hunted and on the run.

ย 

You could feel his presence before you saw himโ€”that arrogant aura demanding everyone's attention. Sure enough, through the crowd swaggered the man you'd hoped to never cross paths with again. Aventurine.

ย 

His violet eyes lit up in faux surprise upon finding me. "My lucky charm returns!" he exclaimed, sliding onto the stool next to yours. You grimaced. "Don't."

ย 

But Aventurine was undeterred. "Still angry, I see. Can't we put the past behind us?"

ย 

You glared sideways at him. "Do you even recall the past you're referring to? The months I spent fearing for my life because of stupidity?"

ย 

For once, a sliver of uncertainty entered his charming smirk. "It was just business, nothing personal."

ย 

Heat rose in your cheeks. In a swift motion, you grabbed his collar, yanking him nose-to-nose with you. "Just business?" you growled. "You left me for dead, leaving me to pay off a debt that wasn't mine to begin with."

ย 

Aventurine's smile is long gone now. And you took some satisfaction in seeing the unease grow in his eyes.

ย 

โ€œYouโ€™ve grown awfully feisty,โ€ he said, and at that moment, the noise of the casino faded into background noise as the both of you stared at each other. Aventurine's eyes roamed your face, lingering in a way that set your nerve endings alight.

ย 

You knew you should walk away; this man had caused you nothing but trouble. And yet, part of you yearned to make him understand and truly feel the pain he had inflicted so carelessly onto you.

ย 

"You're right; I've changed," you said quietly. "I'm not the naive fool who trusted you before. Now I see you for what you are.โ€

ย Aventurine winced, the barb finding its mark. "And what am I, pray tell?"

ย 

"A selfish, reckless coward who plays with people's lives for the thrill without care for the fallout."

ย He sighed, raking a hand through his golden hair. For the briefest moment, regret flashed in his amethyst gaze.

"What do you want from me?โ€

ย 

The open vulnerability in his question caught you off guard. Was this supposed to be an olive branch or a trap? You leaned in slowly, scanning his face for deceit.

ย โ€œAn apology. I want an apology.โ€ you repeated.

ย 

Aventurine's throat bobbed as he seemed to grasp for words. You could see the pride warring within himโ€”he who so rarely answered to anyone. Maybe this time he realized, how his reckless actions had pushed things over the line.

ย 

"I..." He began softly, then trailed off into tense silence once more. The urge to wipe that contrite look from his face and replace it was strong. Old habits die hard.

ย 

You raised a brow, waiting expectantly for what you were owed. Aventurine sighed again, steeling himself as his eyes met with yours steadily.

ย 

"You were right to call me out. I caused you harm without thought of consequence." His voice was low, but it carried an undercurrent of raw sincerity. "For that, I'm sorry."

ย 

You searched his face for any hint of dishonesty but found only openness laid bare. Maybe this was the closest thing to regret you would ever see from him.

ย 

A heavy silence fell as his apology hung in the air. Aventurine gazed at you, with uncertainty in his eyes.

"Your apology is a start," you said at last. "But words alone won't undo the past."

ย 

Aventurine furrowed his brows, pride flickering anew at the insinuation that he was not yet redeemed. "Then what would?"

ย 

Slowly, an idea took formโ€”one that might offer the both of you a kind of closure. You inched closer, matching his earlier brazen invasion of your personal space. Lowering your voice, you replied.

"Prove to me your regret is sincere. Prove you've learned self control."

ย 

Your gaze traced his lips and his throat, lingering in a way that made the meaning abundantly clear to him.

"Here? Now?" He whined

ย 

You tilted your head, a half-smile on your face. Unless you fear you can't prove yourself, gambler. Are the stakes too high this time?"

ย Aventurine's responding smirk held a razor's edge. "Never, jewel. Name your game."

ย 

The dice were cast and your next play had begun. The both of you being all in.

ย 

Without another word, Aventurine took your hand and led you through the casino crowd, his usual swagger returning. The both of you navigated the flashing lights and clattering machines until reaching the elevators.

ย 

Once the doors closed, all pretense of space between the two of you had vanished. Aventurine pinned you against the mirrored wall of the elevator, capturing your lips in a deep longing kiss that stole your breath away. You moaned, threading your fingers through his golden locks to drag him impossibly closer.

ย 

Too soon, a cheerful ding announced you had arrived to your destined floor. Aventurine took your hand again and hurried you down the plush corridor, only pausing to scan the keycard at the door of the luxurious suite.

ย 

The lock clicked open, and the two of you tumbled inside in a tangled mess of limbs, mouths still fused together. You kicked the door shut and let Aventurine lift you up, you wrapped your legs around his waist as he carried you to the hotel bed.

ย 

Gently, he laid you out amidst the silken sheets, hovering over you with hooded eyes that promised pleasure beyond reckoning.

"Now then," he purred. Aventurine's skilled fingers made quick work of the buttons on your shirt, brushing his fingers across your skin that raised goosebumps in their wake. You sat up to slide the fabric off and return the favor, letting your hands linger across his toned abdomen, feeling each hitch of breath under your caress.

ย 

Your lips met once again as the both of you rid each other of your clothes. Aventurine leaned back to admire his handiwork, violet eyes alight with hunger.

ย 

"Exquisite, as I remember," he murmured, tracing nonsensical patterns on your thighs and then drawing them further apart. His touch traveled upwards to the apex, that's now fully bare for him.

ย 

Two could play in torment. You rolled deftly so that you could straddle his hips, you glanced down at his need that pressed hot and rigidly against you.

ย 

Aventurine's eyes sparked with sudden intrigue, taken aback by your boldness in wrestling back control. You smiled coyly, relishing the chance to toy with him as he had done to you for so long.

ย 

Slowly, teasingly, you positioned yourself above his length, feeling him pulsing with urgency against you. But you remained still, drinking in his growing frustration with barely contained delight.

ย 

"Impatient as ever, I see," you said softly into his ear. "Maybe now you'll understand the torture of wanting and not having."

ย 

Aventurine groaned, his hands settling firmly on your hips in a silent plea. Ever the gambler, refusing to fold so easily. "Then proceed, my darling jewel. Let's see if you can best meโ€

ย 

His challenge spurred you on. Bracing your hands against his muscled abdomen, you gradually lowered onto his velvet length with a drawn-out moan. Aven's eyes rolled back ecstatically, though he continued biting back his release through sheer will alone.

ย 

You set a maddeningly slow pace, grinding your hips each time you were fully joined with him.

ย 

Aven' writhed, at each grind of your hips drawing sounds of pleasure and desperation from his throat. His hands clenched bruisingly against your waist as you continued the sweet torture, denying him release.

ย 

"Please..." he whimpered, the sound foreign on his usually cocky tongue. You smiled, leaning down to nibble along his jawline.

ย 

"Please what?โ€ you breathed in his ear. "I want to hear you say it."

ย 

Aven growled in frustration and pride, battling his body's demands. You rolled your hips firmly, rubbing against that spongy spot within that sent jolts of desire piercing through him. His resolve shattered.

ย 

"Please, let me come," he gasped, clinging to you desperately. "I need you...I need to feel you fall with me."

ย 

Hearing the great Aventurine begging so prettily tore away your last shred of self-control. You quickened your pace, swirling your hips with abandon as he cried out beneath you.

ย 

"That's it; let go for me," you rasped, your own end crashing towards you in tempting waves. Two more rolls of your hips, and Aventurine threw his head back with a guttural groan, clenching impossibly tight around you as he found his peak.

ย 

The feeling of him pulsing inside dragged you relentlessly over the edge. You threw your arms around his neck to muffle your shouts of ecstasy against his skin. Wave after wave of bliss crashed through you, as Aventurine's hands splayed on your back as if trying to meld both your souls as one.

ย 

As the last waves of euphoria washed over the two of you Aventurineโ€™s hands gently traced soothing patterns up and down your back. You lay breathless against his chest, savoring the peaceful afterglow.

ย 

Aventurine pressed a tender kiss to your forehead. โ€œLet's do it one more time.โ€ โ€œI believe I haven't redeemed myself just yet..โ€

 โบโ€งโ‚Šหš เฝเฝฒ ๐‘ฒ๐‘ฐ๐‘ต๐‘ฒ๐‘ป๐‘ถ๐‘ฉ๐‘ฌ๐‘น เฝ‹เพ€ หšโ‚Šโ€งโบ
 โบโ€งโ‚Šหš เฝเฝฒ ๐‘ฒ๐‘ฐ๐‘ต๐‘ฒ๐‘ป๐‘ถ๐‘ฉ๐‘ฌ๐‘น เฝ‹เพ€ หšโ‚Šโ€งโบ

ยฉ yammpi3 2024. All work belongs to @yammpi3. You can repost if you want to support my blog/writing! Please don't modify, translate, or plagiarize in any way on ANY platform.


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2 weeks ago

๐“น ๐—ง๐—›๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—š ๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—˜๐—ฆ๐—ง ๐—ฉ๐—œ๐—˜๐—ช๐—˜๐—— ๐—œ๐—ก ๐——๐—”๐—ฅ๐—ž ๐— ๐—ข๐——๐—˜ ๐“น

 ๐“น ๐—ง๐—›๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—š ๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—˜๐—ฆ๐—ง ๐—ฉ๐—œ๐—˜๐—ช๐—˜๐—— ๐—œ๐—ก ๐——๐—”๐—ฅ๐—ž
 ๐“น ๐—ง๐—›๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—š ๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—˜๐—ฆ๐—ง ๐—ฉ๐—œ๐—˜๐—ช๐—˜๐—— ๐—œ๐—ก ๐——๐—”๐—ฅ๐—ž
 ๐“น ๐—ง๐—›๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—š ๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—˜๐—ฆ๐—ง ๐—ฉ๐—œ๐—˜๐—ช๐—˜๐—— ๐—œ๐—ก ๐——๐—”๐—ฅ๐—ž
 ๐“น ๐—ง๐—›๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—š ๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—˜๐—ฆ๐—ง ๐—ฉ๐—œ๐—˜๐—ช๐—˜๐—— ๐—œ๐—ก ๐——๐—”๐—ฅ๐—ž
 ๐“น ๐—ง๐—›๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—š ๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—˜๐—ฆ๐—ง ๐—ฉ๐—œ๐—˜๐—ช๐—˜๐—— ๐—œ๐—ก ๐——๐—”๐—ฅ๐—ž

๐—”๐—ก๐—”๐—ซ๐—” : of all of the surviving library keepers of the grove of epiphany, why is it that you are so intent in seeking the wisdom of that weeping angel? her fake tears are of no use.

๐‘†๐ธ๐‘…๐ด ๐“ฏ the library keeper. anaxagoras' lost bride. nineteen. they them. filo. isfj.

โ€ อโ•ฒโ•ฑ hsr and jjk sfw blog. fem and gn reader. drabbles, fics, and smaus.

๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น ๐—ฎ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฏ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ธ ๐—ฏ๐—น๐—ผ๐—ด๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐—น๐—น ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ป๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฏ๐—น๐—ผ๐—ฐ๐—ธ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ.

๐Ÿ“ฐ โ”€ introducing the library keeper.

๐Ÿ“ฐ โ”€ the archives tour: the archives.

๐Ÿ“ฐ โ”€ the archives tour: guidelines.

๐Ÿ“ฐ โ”€ the archives tour: the gardens.

 ๐“น ๐—ง๐—›๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—š ๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—˜๐—ฆ๐—ง ๐—ฉ๐—œ๐—˜๐—ช๐—˜๐—— ๐—œ๐—ก ๐——๐—”๐—ฅ๐—ž
 ๐“น ๐—ง๐—›๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—š ๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—˜๐—ฆ๐—ง ๐—ฉ๐—œ๐—˜๐—ช๐—˜๐—— ๐—œ๐—ก ๐——๐—”๐—ฅ๐—ž
 ๐“น ๐—ง๐—›๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—š ๐—œ๐—ฆ ๐—•๐—˜๐—ฆ๐—ง ๐—ฉ๐—œ๐—˜๐—ช๐—˜๐—— ๐—œ๐—ก ๐——๐—”๐—ฅ๐—ž

๐“น ๐—ง๐—›๐—”๐—ก๐—ž ๐—ฌ๐—ข๐—จ ๐—™๐—ข๐—ฅ ๐—ฌ๐—ข๐—จ๐—ฅ ๐—ง๐—œ๐— ๐—˜ ! โ™ก ๐“น


Tags
4 months ago
โ‹†หšโœฟห–ยฐ โ—ž ๊™ณ เน‹เฃญ โญ‘ `ใ€€๐๐‘๐„๐“๐“๐˜ ๐†๐ˆ๐‘๐‹ ๐Œ๐€๐๐“๐‘๐€
โ‹†หšโœฟห–ยฐ โ—ž ๊™ณ เน‹เฃญ โญ‘ `ใ€€๐๐‘๐„๐“๐“๐˜ ๐†๐ˆ๐‘๐‹ ๐Œ๐€๐๐“๐‘๐€
โ‹†หšโœฟห–ยฐ โ—ž ๊™ณ เน‹เฃญ โญ‘ `ใ€€๐๐‘๐„๐“๐“๐˜ ๐†๐ˆ๐‘๐‹ ๐Œ๐€๐๐“๐‘๐€
โ‹†หšโœฟห–ยฐ โ—ž ๊™ณ เน‹เฃญ โญ‘ `ใ€€๐๐‘๐„๐“๐“๐˜ ๐†๐ˆ๐‘๐‹ ๐Œ๐€๐๐“๐‘๐€

โ‹†หšโœฟห–ยฐ โ—ž ๊™ณ เน‹เฃญ โญ‘ `ใ€€๐๐‘๐„๐“๐“๐˜ ๐†๐ˆ๐‘๐‹ ๐Œ๐€๐๐“๐‘๐€ #๐’๐“๐€๐‘๐†๐ˆ๐‘๐‹๐’ !

ใƒผใ€€mai/aki ๐Ÿฉฐ๐ŸŽง eighteen. she/her/they. delightfully delusional~ โ‚Šหšเท†

we are a multi fandom nsfw & sfw blog. (mainly fem!reader). do not interact if youโ€™re 16 and under or a blank blog. requests/thirsts are always welcomed. เดฆเตเดฆเดฟ ห‰อˆฬ€๊’ณห‰อˆฬ )โœง inbox . . . [ open ]

โฐโฐยน ๐€๐๐Ž๐”๐“ โฐโฐยฒ ๐‘๐”๐‹๐„๐’ โฐโฐยณ ๐Œ๐€๐’๐“๐„๐‘๐‹๐ˆ๐’๐“


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