Explore the world, one post at a time
Listen it came to me in a dream don’t yell at me
New years approx 2 hours after midnight
The titans are at Donna’s apartment and all offensively drunk
Dick (most sober) : I’m not doing it
Roy (most drunk): DONT be a coward Grayson
Donna (2nd most drunk): YEAH put on the maid dress Grayson
Dick: THE MAID DRESS ISNT the problem its the fucking thong that goes with it
Wally(speedster metabolism is no match for Dick Grayson and high tech lab equipment more drunk than he’s ever been): oh come on didn’t you give me shit when we were teens for not being “open minded” I didn’t sit through a 5 hour HR presentation on toxic masculinity at 15 for you to back out now
Garth (got high instead, currently flying higher than the moon, out of earths orbit with about 4 pounds of food INFRONT of him): do it do it do it do it
Dick: 1) you know I have no shame around any of you, that is not the issue. I am telling you I. Will. Not. Fit
Donna: damn tbh I thought they put all the dick in your name
Donna: or your personality
Wally: *wheezing*
Dick: listen i will wear the maid dress im not a pussy, I’ll never back out of a dare. IF you let me wear my regular underwear
Roy: deal
Dick goes to Donna’s room to change
Donna: I could’ve sworn I bought the men’s one
Roy: you probably did
Donna: so was he being at bitch cuz if so he has to do the forfeit
Wally: we once dared dick to call slade Wilson daddy in front of Bruce and he did it the next day, you think that THIS is where he draws the line
Garth (has reached zen no thoughts head empty): might still be 2 small, both things can be true *holding index finger up on each and and joining them together in front of his face why crossing his eyes*
Donna in a whisper: is he really that big?
Roy immediately: yes
Donna: you answered that way too quickly
Wally: well we did share a locker room for like 2 decades
Donna: I’m sorry? Did you like compare?? Or something
Garth: noooooooo (honest)
Wally: …occasionally
Roy: idk what yall are on about I just fucked the guy
Donna: YOU DID WHAT???
Garth: ????????????????
Wally: HUH? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN????
Roy realizing this was when they were on the outsiders,very toxic with one another and on opposite paths of self destruction: Okay listen it was a weird time for us, Donna was dead and-
Donna: SO YOU FUCKED THE NEXT BLACK HAIRED BLUE EYED PERSON ON THE TEAM
Garth (still high): wait I was on that team? Why didn’t you fuck me? I have black hair and blue eyes
Wally patting his shoulder in a supportive manner: not enough daddy issues.
Garth: *nods understandingly* ahhhhh
Roy: AS I was saying, it was a weird time I had my whole thing with Cheshire, you were dead which means dick wanted to die more than usual. Anyway it happened I love him but let’s not do that again
Garth: but would you? Like without the toxic would you
Roy: Raw. Next question
Donna *did not need to know this about dick but also mildly impressed* curiosity is man’s greatest sin and as a feminist it’s her job to even that playing field even if it’s cursed knowledge:… so how big is he…
Roy doing the hand size thing you know the one: big
Donna: damnnnn
Garth (still very high has ascended to a 5th dimension can smell colors): the real reason oracle is in a wheelchair
Wally: *falls out of his chair*
Donna: GARTH
Roy: *burst out laughing*