Explore the world, one post at a time
I need to somehow incorporate polyamorous ducklings into at least one of the three Hilson WIPs I have going rn (two of them would arguably be difficult to work in due to the timeline)
Very much into hilson fanfics where the og ducklings are just casually in a polyamorous relationship in the background bc it shows how completely fucked up hilson is
Brains are weird
Brains are weird because I forgot until today that the one person I consider to be my best friend that I’m gonna miss more than my parents when I move in a few months had only been promoted from classmate to friend a little over a year ago (and best friend quickly after that)
Brains are weird because in high school I told people I had a crush on them on a whim whether I was sure about it or not and now the idea about saying concrete things like “you are my best friend” gives me such a stomach ache that I can hardly eat anymore
And brains are weird because throwing out vague but deeply personal information on the internet feels easier than journaling even though my therapist wants me to journal but I don’t wanna because I’m afraid a family member could find it as if they couldn’t find me online
The air smells like neglecting my sleep schedule and skipping class to reread my favorite books and quitting my job and writing until I can’t feel my fingers and telling my friends that I love them so much that it gives me heartburn and eating the same three meals because they taste so fucking good and cracking jokes that’ll make people uncomfortable and—
I have a project that determines if I graduate with honors due in 3(?) days and it isn’t finished but my brain decided to hyper focus on writing self indulgent SVU fanfiction which is funny because I haven’t actually engaged in writing for weeks but yesterday I wrote 5k words about a ship I didn’t even ship until I had a prophetic dream about it
I will not admit what the ship is unless someone asks (it is mlm if that helps or hinders you)
There are two wolves inside of you
One wants to make a 75 slide PowerPoint and just read off it word for word for two hours
The other wants to make 3 slides with points not addressed in an unhinged, nonlinear 2 hour yap sesh
You are a tenure college professor
“Jet skis are a gift from god” my good man what the FUCK does that mean????? Are you a cocaine dealer???? Can I have some????
So I’ve been losing my goddamn mind lately and at first I thought it was really cringe and kept calling myself a “Taylor Swift fan but worse” but now I realize that I was simply Too Depressed as a 13 year old girl to queen out about things and now that I am a Slightly Less Depressed 22 year old man I am just…doing what I was supposed to do years ago