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Thinking Out Loud - Blog Posts
in grinch 2018 he tells max he's "the best dog a grinch could hope for." this insinuates his name is not the grinch; while some would assume this is his race or ethnicity, I raise you another interpretation. a guy using this phrase might say "you're the best dog a man could hope for," which means grinch is not a name or a race but actually a gender. on the other hand, the whos seem to be names (cindy lou who, whoville, etc) and therefore I'd like to propose the grinch is some unique, messed up who and that's why he was outcast--cause everybody freaked out.
How has this NEVER occurred to me oh my god. And the way her hand is on top of his head is SO symbolic of multiple things.
1. Her quirk. The fact that so many of the panels where we see her, she’s using her quirk to soar above. THAT could be the symbolism. But there’s also other possibilities.
2. Her hero status. Could her hand being atop his head, almost as if all of the hands are forming a temple, with her being on top, suggest some symbolism of “enlightenment/opposition”, considering the total opposites of hero and villain grandson? It feels like a purposeful mockery by AFO (and likely is) to her character and everything she stood for, to fight AFO until her last breath, just for a piece of her to be forever witnessing the atrocities that her grandson commits against hero society.
Idk, I’m not a poet, and I’m certainly not good with words, so maybe someone else could put my thoughts into words. Just some quick analysis/thinking I was doing! :3
Okay, I just saw the leaks of 270 and I'M REELING.
But you know what freaks me out even more? This panel.
Notice where their hands are located? It's the exact locations where Shigaraki had their hands over him.
But that's not what truly shocked me...
Shigaraki was said to have given an 'extra hand' (no pun intended) by All For One
Now whose hand was on Shigaraki's head?
Nana Shimura's.
This confirms a theory that some people had for a while.
The extra hand that All For One gave to Shigaraki was Nana Shimura's hand. The hand Shigaraki destroyed by accident earlier must've been her other hand...
current shifts
a) occasional short shifts of a unidirectional airway. air going in through nostrils on my face and going out through nostrils on my torso just under the ribcage.
b) toon-like shifts brought on by certain hedgehog media. loose, almost rubber hose. those are always fun, and always weird.
working on the shading to a piece featuring one of my catfolk characters, and i was like, "oh, i can just feel my own face to get an idea of where the light falls and the shadows are!" before i realized i have the wrong head shape on 😔
i wonder if something like a torc necklace could simulate a collar while being discreet? hm... something to test someday.
thought about making a pinned post or about page, but honestly? i much prefer having information all over the place. you want to know what's up? scour the blog for crumbs or send an ask.
my fictionkintype is psychological in nature, so it's a bit funny to me that i talk about it in metaphysical terms.
in reality, i shaped the identity of [sleepyhead]. but i think about it as a past life that helped to shape me. i may not have that holy courage, but the soul lives on in me.
re: cat paratype
since i discovered the alterhuman community in 2015, i've known i was cat-hearted. for the same amount of time, i've questioned a cat therio/kintype on and off.
for most of that time, i've dismissed the 'type. i feel none of the instincts or desires of a cat, such as prey drive or territoriality. clearly, i would think, i'm confusing my feelings surrounding my heart-type for kinfeels. since other-heartedness isn't as well-known or talked about as otherkinity, surely it'd be easy to mistake one for the other.
the reasoning made sense, and i'd let the subject go - and yet, this cat-shaped question would return, again and again.
this last year, i discovered my identity as a mimic - a creature whose shape is influenced by its environment, the people and animals it spends time around, and the media it digests. because i was raised by humans, my physical body is human, and my envisaged shape is usually humanoid, i consider myself a human mimic. as in, not a human, but something in a human shape.
so when the cat-shaped question pawed at my door again, i was finally able to put things together: i'm a cat mimic.
it makes so much sense, really. for as long as i can remember, there's been a cat in my family's house. the first cat i bonded with as a child slept with me almost every night. cats were my first favorite animal, the first animal i really studied and sought information about. when i started teaching myself to draw, cats were one of my first subjects. of course i would mimic them!
this explains my lack of feline instincts, and how my shape never truly matches - i'm a mimic in a cat's shape, and not a cat proper.
ahh, it's just so nice to finally figure this out. that cat-shaped question has a collar with a name tag now, and happily curls up in my bed.
y'all really need to learn to source the photos you use, goddamn
sidenote: i refer to the faun 'type in the plural rather than singular ("my fauns").
would you call a singular tree a forest? of course not. likewise, you'd never see a lone faun.
it's hard to describe the consciousness of the fauns. it's alien to a human mind.
do you know about aspen trees? most of them grow in clonal colonies, meaning that all the individual trees come from the same roots. that's the closest comparison i can think of to the fauns.
all this to say, it feels incorrect to refer to my faun 'type in the singular. it's just not how my fauns work.
i've had a creeping feeling that my faun kintype is actually a theriomythic type, and looking into faun art on this here webbed site i think i've confirmed it.
depictions of fauns (modern depictions, anyhow) always project a level of sapience that doesn't line up with my noemata. my fauns are not humans with goat legs - they're a different animal entirely.
tool use is more on par with corvids than humans. language is simple. we mimic humans the same way humans mimic cats, with no knowledge of deeper meaning. we don't wear clothes.
so! i'm recategorizing the fauns as theriomythic type, rather than kintype.
"there's a part of me that says i should just move on. this [fiction-kintype] is a part of me, of course, but not a part i need to dwell on."
guess who booted up its source game and started a new playthrough? ✌️ and guess who's created a word document to jot down discovered noemata while playing? ✌️✌️
joking tone aside.
i discovered this kintype during the worst years of my illness, and i think that clouded my perception of it. talking about it in the quoted post made me wonder if revisiting the source now that i'm in a healthier place might lend some new perspective, or at least jog some more positive noemata.
so far, i've been correct - though that life was dark, i've discovered more positive noemata now than i did in the past, and realized i was mistaken about some noemata. i'm enjoying visiting my source now more than i did then.
re: cat otherhearted type
the matter is not as settled as i wanted to believe orz. i think it's time i accepted it as a para-type instead of trying to stuff it into one label or the other. ✌️
talking about my fictionkintype these days is... well, "difficult" isn't the right word for it, but i'm blanking on a better one.
the fandom aspect is the biggest part. this isn't fandom for me - it's a part of my identity, and i don't want people outside the alt-h community getting misled or twisting it into a roleplay thing. it's difficult to talk about a fictionkintype if you're censoring every other word and name to avoid the fandom.
but also...
that life isn't a happy one. many of the noemata i have for it are of being afraid, sad, or lost. it ends young. it's a tragedy retold as a heroic adventure.
there's a part of me that says i should just move on. this 'type is a part of me, of course, but not a part i need to dwell on.
maybe it's better this way.
tonight i caught a moth and released it outside. for some reason, it got me thinking about my faun self.
would the faun have gently scooped the moth into its hands and marveled at the whisper-light touch of the moth's wings against its palms? would the faun have been careful going down the stairs, mindful of the frightened moth? would the faun have been pleased when, upon opening its hands, the moth stayed perched on its fingers? would the faun have gently blown on the moth's wings to encourage it to fly into the night?
not likely. my fauns aren't cruel, but neither are they gentle. those delicate wings would have been torn and crushed in clumsy hooves, and after a moment of confusion and curiosity, the faun would have moved on, forgetting the moth entirely.
in this life, i watched the moth fly away. i looked up what species it is - a dotted gray. and i remember it.
i'm happy that i'm gentle now.
an update!
re: cat otherhearted-type
i've confirmed at this point that it is a heart-type, rather than a kin- or therio-type.
re: werwolf?
turns out i have a second otherhearted-type.
re: tail
this one's pretty interesting. turns out that sometimes i experience two tails at once! at the time of that original post, i was feeling my faun tail (goat-like) in a ghost shift, but a longer, lion-like tail in a visage shift. weird!
being a mimic is great n all, but not when i end up mimicking a favorite character AT WORK
like yes, hi, hello customer, i am TOTALLY human and definitely NOT mimicking a puppet postman, don't worry about it hahaha
when it comes to my tail, i really only feel the base of it. i know what the rest of it looks like, but i don't feel it.
at least i don't have to worry about getting it caught on/between anything, i suppose!
wondering if my cat hearttype is actually/has become a theriotype...
been playing a lot of [cat game] recently, which has definitely affected my shape. maybe my mimicry is just making the hearttype feel more like a theriotype?
i'll revisit this once the fixation with [cat game] has worn off.
not werewolf as in man twisted into a monstrous caricature of canine.
werewolf as in neither canine nor man.
werewolf as in tied to the moon, the eye ever blinking.
werewolf as in solitary despite your nature.
werewolf as in "i love you, but i'm just another animal."
unhinged thirty days of otherkin challenge, day 30: has thirty days of this unhinged you further?
nah, but it was fun! i've been wanting to talk about my alterhumanity, but felt too wary - this was a good way to ease into it.
unhinged thirty days of otherkin challenge, day 29: what's a really nice smell?
broken sassafras branch. petrichor. bonfire in the distance. i could go on, plenty of nice smells out there.
unhinged thirty days of otherkin challenge, day 28: how many fingers do you have and why?
not sure about the fauns - either four or five on each hand, with the outermost fingers functioning as thumbs.
sleepyhead has five on each hand, same as humans do.
why? don't worry about it.
skipping day 26 bc i can't for the life of me come up w an answer
unhinged thirty days of otherkin challenge, day 27: it's getting dark out. does your kintype sleep, wake up, or PANIC??
the fauns wind down at night. after a long day of running and jumping and climbing, sleep is a strong possibility, all cuddled up in a pile of friends until first light.
sleepyhead sets up camp and sleeps by the fire. their sleep is light, since they can't afford to completely let their guard down. let's hope it's restful.
unhinged thirty days of otherkin challenge, day 25: alone in a forest with no provisions, how long does your kintype survive?
that's exactly where the fauns belong, baby! let's assume you mean a different forest, though. you'd have to transplant the trees somehow - we're tied to the trees - but let's say it's possible.
there'd be transplant shock, so the fauns would likely go into dormancy for a bit. the only provisions needed are good soil, sunlight, and water. easy peasy. after that, it's business as usual!
sleepyhead would be fine. they were raised in (by?) the forest, it's no stranger to them. after a moment to get their bearings, they'd soldier on.
unhinged thirty days of otherkin challenge, day 24: what's your kintype's most acute sense?
huh. i haven't thought about this before.
for sleepyhead, i can easily say sight. for the fauns, i think it would be touch. very tactile bunch, we are
unhinged thirty days of otherkin challenge, day 23: you hear a scratching noise around the corner. What does your kintype do?
the fauns check it out, no hesitation or caution! <3
sleepyhead puts a hand on the hilt of their sword, and waits a moment to see if the source comes into view. no use getting yourself into trouble if you can avoid it, and boy, does sleepyhead want to avoid it.
unhinged thirty days of otherkin challenge, day 21: glossy or matte?
matte.
day 22: wildcard, I'm getting tired of writing these
i associate the song "perfect nothing" by GHOST with my alterhumanity a lot. couldn't rightly tell you why.
unhinged thirty days of otherkin challenge, day 20: describe your kintype's skin texture in great detail.
the skin of the faun's face is soft, but not smooth. sun freckles and flecks of dirt lend an uneven texture. the palms of the hands are rougher, the thick skin smudged with dirt and grass stains.