lady-loki-silvertongue

Latest Posts by lady-loki-silvertongue

Please reblog this if fanfiction has been beneficial to your mental health.

Reblog if you are bisexual, pansexual, or asexual, if you support bisexuals, pansexuals, and asexuals, or

There’s no third, funny option, just the first two because it’s good to just support people because they deserve support.

Tony: do you think natasha wants to kill me?

Clint: depends? why do you think that?

Tony: she might or might not have been following me with a knife for a week now

Clint:

Clint: no, that's just natasha

“Sometimes words aren’t enough and that’s why we have middle fingers.”

- Clint.

Peter: Loki! Violence isn’t the answer

Loki: I’m a god. Therefore I have the authority to say it is.

Peter: *pauses* Can’t argue with that logic

Tony: oh no

loki: today is a quiet day

loki: very quiet *looks at thor who's sleeping peacefully*

loki: i don't like quiet *pulls out daggers*

loki: *stabs thor*

thor: loKIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

loki: ahh no more quiet, i like it

Loki at Midtown Tech: I have come to kidnap my adopted gremlin friend

Office Lady: I’m not sure who you mean. Would you like to ask over the PA system?

Loki: I would love too.

Loki into the mic: Hey gremlin, we’re gonna fight a god and kick his ass. And then we’re gonna cause mischief with the vent bird

Meanwhile in Peter’s classroom

Teacher: Well that was weird. Probably someone playing a prank...Peter, why are you getting up?

Peter: I’m gonna fight a god, kick ass and cause mischief with the vent bird. It helps a snake and spider de-stress.

Teacher: You know what? I don’t care anymore. “Fight a god” as long as you get your work done.

Ned after a moment: snake... snake... Wait, does that mean that was Loki?!

Tony: Hey lokes, what ya doing?

Loki: Just some light research on genetic’s.

Loki: I’m going to eliminate all the cancers.

Tony: Oh wow. That’s impressive-..

Loki: Then the Virgo’s.

Tony:...

Mr Harrington at decathlon: You’re all wonderful people so I don’t think any of you have ever broken another person’s bones before

Peter and MJ look at each: About that...

Harrington: Okay, I kinda expected MJ but Peter?! Why are you breaking people’s bones?

Peter: Cause fighting non lethally is hard without breaking bones. I either break bones or I kill them

Harrington having a panic attack: Okay. Okay. This is normal. Trauma forces people to make bad choices.

MJ: I’m proud of you loser.

Flash: whatthefuckwhatthefuck

Teacher: I think it’s a reasonable assumption that none of you have ever been shot.

Peter: Umm...

Teacher: Apparently I was wrong. Peter, what the fuck?

Peter: Hehe. Funny story. *jumps out the window*

Ned: Pfft- He’s out of here

Teacher: Do you know how he got shot?

Ned: Uh... *nyooms out the door*

TW: Dark humor.(?)

I can't stop thinking about Tony and Peter casually joking about death and shocking everyone around them like us Gen z's do with our friends.

~~~~~

Peter: I hope the light at the end of my tunnel is a fucking train.

~~~~~

Tony: I used to be a playboy but now all I want on top of me is 6ft of dirt.

~~~~~

Random bad guy: I'll snap your neck

Peter: I'll let you

~~~~~

Tony: I swear to God I'm gonna start a hit list.

Peter: I volunteer

~~~~~

Kidnapper: *hands them a gun* One of you has to die.

Tony: I will

Peter: No let me do it

Tony: Get behind me I'll shoot both of us

~~~~~

Robber: *Aiming a gun at Peter but hesitating to shoot him*

Peter: Would you like me to pull the trigger?

~~~~~

Bad guy: I'll kill you.

Peter: I'll fucking do it for you.

~~~~~

Tony: Don't come Heimlich me if I start choking cause that's my ticket out of here and if you save me then your fake and just want what you can't have.

~~~~~

Tony: *staring at a vase of dead flowers*

Peter: lol you wish that was you huh?

just wanting to prove a quick point here. reblog if you believe loki is a complex, well-developed, three-dimensional character who didn’t deserve to be killed in the first 5 minutes of the movie. let’s see how many we are

Peter: If I die, please bury me either in a T-pose or the you know I had to do it pose.

"Aim high. You may still miss the target but at least you won't shoot your foot off."

- Clint Barton

Peter talking to a tired Thor: So what’s Loki to you?

Thor: The reason I get up in the morning...

Peter: Really?! That’s cool

What Heimdall watched happen:

Loki: Hey...

Brother

Thor: *continues snoring*

Loki: Blergh *stabs him*

I never sleep cause of you

Alternatively

Loki (female): I like men how I like emotions

Thor:...how?

Loki: Buried

Thor: Pretty sure that’s called murder. It’s illegal

Loki: Only if they find the bodies

Loki (currently female): I like my men how I like my emotions

Thor: ...how?

Loki with a grin: Buried deep inside me

Thor: *sighs* I really should have seen that coming

Tony: I love saying fuck me because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly.

Loki (currently female): I like my men how I like my emotions

Thor: ...how?

Loki with a grin: Buried deep inside me

Thor: *sighs* I really should have seen that coming

Ned: How come humans don’t lick to show affection?

MJ: Lesbians do

Peter coughing after choking on his saliva: W-what?!

MJ: You heard me

Ned dying of laughter and with an accent: It is what it is

Thor flirting: How’s the most wonderful person in the nine realms doing this fine morning?

Loki from the next room: I’m doing fucking great!

Jane who was with Thor: I was gonna turn that back on you but...

Heimdall watching everything: *sighs* Loki spends too much time watching TV shows from Midgard.

Clint: Sorry I took so long, I broke down on the way here.

Natasha: Oh, is your car okay?

Clint: Car?

Natasha:

Clint:

Peter our as Spider-Man talking to a criminal: Where can I find a wheelchair?

Criminal who’s rant was interrupted: What? Why?

Peter: Cause I can’t stand bullshit

A stranger cat calling MJ: Hey gorgeous. Want me to teach you something?

MJ: Sure. I’ve always wanted to know whether someone can die of constipation.

Stranger: Uhhh. What?

MJ: Will you die of constipation?

Stranger:

MJ: Cause you’re full of shit

Peter and Ned laughing: You killed him

Tony scolding Peter for doing stupid and dangerous things on patrol: Why?! You’re going to get yourself killed!

Peter and Loki: Here for a good time not a long time

Shuri coming in with a bottle of bleach: I was summoned and I brought drinks.

Clint stuck in a chair: You may be asking “Clint, how did this happen? How did you do this to yourself?”

Natasha laughing to the side: Well kids, Clint has no clue either. He’s just fucking dumb.

Natasha pulling out a knife: Now let’s help this poor man.

Clint: *Indiscernible screaming*

Loki: Apparently spite isn’t a good answer to what motivates you.

MJ: Hey losers. Give me an honest answer on how much you hate Flash.

Peter: It cannot be represented by mortal means

Ned: I-

MJ:...That’s fair

Peter: Hey Clint, you’re an ass ass in right?

Clint: What?

Peter: You’re an ass ass in?

Clint: Kid, I have no idea what you’re trying to say

Tony while facepalming: He means assassin

Loki summoning daggers:

Where is it?!

Thor frantically trying to calm him down:

Loki, wait!! You should treat spiders how you wish to be treated!

Loki:

Killed without hesitation!

Thor:

Not again! Please stop dying!

Peter: MJ is so cute. *sigh*

Ned: ...She just...stabbed Flash for bullying you...

Peter: I said cute not harmless.

MJ: You do know I can hear you?

Peter:

Ned:

MJ: Thanks Loser