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Loki at Midtown Tech: I have come to kidnap my adopted gremlin friend
Office Lady: I’m not sure who you mean. Would you like to ask over the PA system?
Loki: I would love too.
Loki into the mic: Hey gremlin, we’re gonna fight a god and kick his ass. And then we’re gonna cause mischief with the vent bird
Meanwhile in Peter’s classroom
Teacher: Well that was weird. Probably someone playing a prank...Peter, why are you getting up?
Peter: I’m gonna fight a god, kick ass and cause mischief with the vent bird. It helps a snake and spider de-stress.
Teacher: You know what? I don’t care anymore. “Fight a god” as long as you get your work done.
Ned after a moment: snake... snake... Wait, does that mean that was Loki?!
Peter talking to a tired Thor: So what’s Loki to you?
Thor: The reason I get up in the morning...
Peter: Really?! That’s cool
What Heimdall watched happen:
Loki: Hey...
Brother
Thor: *continues snoring*
Loki: Blergh *stabs him*
I never sleep cause of you
Alternatively
Loki (female): I like men how I like emotions
Thor:...how?
Loki: Buried
Thor: Pretty sure that’s called murder. It’s illegal
Loki: Only if they find the bodies
Loki (currently female): I like my men how I like my emotions
Thor: ...how?
Loki with a grin: Buried deep inside me
Thor: *sighs* I really should have seen that coming
Loki (currently female): I like my men how I like my emotions
Thor: ...how?
Loki with a grin: Buried deep inside me
Thor: *sighs* I really should have seen that coming
Thor flirting: How’s the most wonderful person in the nine realms doing this fine morning?
Loki from the next room: I’m doing fucking great!
Jane who was with Thor: I was gonna turn that back on you but...
Heimdall watching everything: *sighs* Loki spends too much time watching TV shows from Midgard.
Tony scolding Peter for doing stupid and dangerous things on patrol: Why?! You’re going to get yourself killed!
Peter and Loki: Here for a good time not a long time
Shuri coming in with a bottle of bleach: I was summoned and I brought drinks.
Loki: Apparently spite isn’t a good answer to what motivates you.
Loki summoning daggers:
Where is it?!
Thor frantically trying to calm him down:
Loki, wait!! You should treat spiders how you wish to be treated!
Loki:
Killed without hesitation!
Thor:
Not again! Please stop dying!