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Acespec - Blog Posts
bro idek why but when i see even SLIGHTLY suggestive drawings on my feed i like quickly scroll past them and i DONT KNOW WHY 💔💔 it’s not like i dislike suggestive shit or anything 😞
*Likes girl* (Is girl)
*Likes boy* (Is boy)
*Likes person* (Is person)
*Likes nobody* (Is nobody)…
need an essay over why the 2004 hit nickelodeon tv show danny phantom attracts so many asexuals
I’m not trying to be inflammatory, I’m just curious. How do het ace/aro people face SYSTEMATIC oppression? Gay/bi/trans people face oppression like difficultly adopting children, finding housing, they may be fired from employment because of their gender or orientation. So they are bared from normal parts of live because of their gender/sexuality. Gay ace/aro people face this too, but what do het ace/aro people experience on a societal level?
If you’d been following my blog at all or even bothered to peruse it a little before dropping this message in my inbox, you’d probably already know the answer to your question.
You’d ALSO probably know that there are bi and pan aspecs too (e.g., I’m panromantic demisexual) which isn’t “gay” (does this term also include lesbians?) so I feel like your ask erases part of my own identity and that of others in the community.
For these reasons and more, I’d bet money that you’re not here because you’re “curious”. You’re probably here because you figure this is how you’re gonna stop a “self-imposing” aspec from speaking up for herself.
Well guess what: That’s just hateful & sad.
Regardless though of your intentions, I’m here to say that there is in fact SYSTEMATIC oppression against aspecs. For example, Dr Gordon Hodson wrote this about his 2012 study:
In a recent investigation (MacInnis & Hodson, in press) we uncovered strikingly strong bias against asexuals in both university and community samples. Relative to heterosexuals, and even relative to homosexuals and bisexuals, heterosexuals: (a) expressed more negative attitudes toward asexuals (i.e., prejudice); (b) desired less contact with asexuals; and © were less willing to rent an apartment to (or hire) an asexual applicant (i.e., discrimination). Moreover, of all the sexual minority groups studied, asexuals were the most dehumanized (i.e., represented as “less human”). Intriguingly, heterosexuals dehumanized asexuals in two ways. Given their lack of sexual interest, widely considered a universal interest, it might not surprise you to learn that asexuals were characterized as “machine-like” (i.e., mechanistically dehumanized). But, oddly enough, asexuals were also seen as “animal-like” (i.e., animalistically dehumanized). Yes, asexuals were seen as relatively cold and emotionless and unrestrained, impulsive, and less sophisticated.
When you repeatedly observe such findings it grabs your attention as a prejudice researcher. But let’s go back a minute and consider those discrimination effects. Really? You’d not rent an apartment to an asexual man, or hire an asexual woman? Even if you relied on stereotypes alone, presumably such people would make ideal tenants and employees. We pondered whether this bias actually represents bias against single people, a recently uncovered and very real bias in its own right (see Psychology Today column by Bella DePaulo). But our statistical analyses ruled out this this possibility. So what’s going on here?
If you’ve been following my column, you’ll recall that I wrote a recent article on what I called the “Bigotry Bigot-Tree” – what psychologists refer to as generalized prejudice. Specifically, those disliking one social group (e.g., women) also tend to dislike other social groups (e.g., homosexuals; Asians). In our recent paper (MacInnis & Hodson, in press), we found that those who disliked homosexuals also disliked bisexuals and asexuals. In other words, these prejudices are correlated. Heterosexuals who dislike one sexual minority, therefore, also dislike other sexual minorities, even though some of these groups are characterized by their sexual interest and activity and others by their lack of sexual interest and activity.
This anti-asexual bias, at its core, seems to boil down to what Herek (2010) refers to as the “differences as deficit” model of sexual orientation. By deviating from the typical, average, or normal sexual interests, sexual minorities are considered substandard and thus easy targets for disdain and prejudice. Contrary to conventional folk wisdom, prejudice against sexual minorities may not therefore have much to do with sexual activity at all. There is even evidence, for instance, that religious fundamentalists are prejudiced against homosexuals even when they are celibate (Fulton et al., 1999). Together, such findings point to a bias against “others”, especially different others, who are seen as substandard and deficient (and literally “less human”). “Group X” is targeted for its lack of sexual interest even more than homosexuals and bisexuals are targeted for their same-sex interests.
From news coverage of a recently published study (2016):
What should the average person take away from your study?
Since I first became interested in the issue, I have come to conclude that U.S. society is both “sex negative” and “sex positive.” In other words, there is stigma and marginalization that can come both from being “too sexual” and from being “not sexual enough.” In a theoretical paper, I argued that sexuality may be compulsory in contemporary U.S. society. In other words, our society assumes that (almost) everyone is, at their core, “sexual” and there exists a great deal of social pressure to experience sexual desire, engage in sexual activities, and adopt a sexual identity. At the same time, various types of “non-sexuality” (such as a lack of sexual desire or activity) are stigmatized.
For this particular study, I identified thirty individuals who identified as asexual and asked them first, if they had experienced stigma or marginalization as a result of their asexuality, and, second how they challenged this stigma or marginalization. I found that my interviewees had experienced the following forms of marginalization: pathologization (i.e. people calling them sick), social isolation, unwanted sex and relationship conflict, and the denial of epistemic authority (i.e. people not believing that they didn’t experience sexual attraction). I also found that my interviews resisted stigma and marginalization in five ways: describing asexuality as simply a different (but not inherently worse) form of sexuality; deemphasizing the importance of sexuality in human life; developing new types of nonsexual relationships; coming to see asexuality as a sexual orientation or identity; and engaging in community building and outreach.
I hope that average people would take away from this study the idea that some people can lead fulfilling lives without experiencing sexual attraction but can experience distress if others try to invalidate their identities.
Some of the social isolation we aspecs experience comes from religious communities. Indeed, the popular myth that religious people revere aspecs is very much NOT TRUE. For example, read “Myth 8″ from the VISION Catholic Religious Vocation Guide:
MYTH 8: Religious are asexual
Question: What do you call a person who is asexual?
Answer: Not a person. Asexual people do not exist. Sexuality is a gift from God and thus a fundamental part of our human identity. Those who repress their sexuality are not living as God created them to be: fully alive and well. As such, they’re most likely unhappy. All people are called by God to live chastely, meaning being respectful of the gift of their sexuality. Religious men and women vow celibate chastity, which means they live out their sexuality without engaging in sexual behavior. A vow of chastity does not mean one represses his manhood or her womanhood. Sexuality and the act of sex are two very different things. While people in religious life abstain from the act of sex, they do not become asexual beings, but rather need to be in touch with what it means to be a man or a woman. A vow of chastity also does not mean one will not have close, loving relationships with women and men. In fact, such relationships are a sign of living the vow in a healthy way. Living a religious vow of chastity is not always easy, but it can be a very beautiful expression of love for God and others. Religious women and men aren’t oddities; they mirror the rest of the church they serve: there are introverts and extroverts, tall and short, old and young, straight and gay, obese and skinny, crass and pious, humorous and serious, and everything in between. They attempt to live the same primary vocation as all other Christians do: proclaiming and living the gospel. However, religious do this as members of an order that serve the church and world in a particular way. Like marriage and the single life, religious life can be wonderful, fulfilling, exciting, and, yes, normal. Yet, it also can be countercultural and positively challenging. It’s that for us and many others. If you thought religious life was outdated, dysfunctional, or dead, we hope you can now look beyond the stereotypes and see the gift it is to the church and world.
NOTE: YOU CAN BE A GAY CATHOLIC PERSON BUT NOT ASEXUAL, BC ASEXUALITY DOESN’T EXIST (yet somehow we’re also “most likely unhappy” and “oddities”). I sincerely hope and believe that not all religions characterize us aspecs this way. But here are some personal accounts I found on a reddit site answering the question “Do any religions have a negative stance toward asexuals?”:
Please note that the Christian pastor in the last example was fearful (or something?) that an asexual was helping to lead a youth group and kicked them out of the church as a result.
Did any other aroace-spec people try to write fanfiction when they were younger, but struggled to write romance/romantic scenes? Because I vividly remember trying to write fanfiction when I was younger, but not really knowing how to write the romance because that wasn't something that I felt that much. And this goes for all kinds of romantic fanfic, reader insert, OC insert, shipping, etc. I tried writing all of the above, and every single time, I was unable to write, or even sometimes start, the romantic scenes, because I just didn't know what exactly that felt like or how romantic relationships started. And even when I could get through writing fanfic, it just felt SO unnatural and weird to actually write; like not bad, but just odd, like not realistic. But somehow, people really liked it, so I guess I did something right lol
Same!! I love iced matcha lattes!! Water is probably my go-to drink, but I drink matcha almost everyday soooooo
ok so i got it aroace people love to eat garlic bread, but what do y'all like to drink ? i'm curious
for me I prefer iced coffee or iced matcha latte. anyone else ?
I WANT A QPR SOOOOOO BADDDDD!!
I want someone that I can call my partner, but not necessarily in a romantic way. I want someone to hug and be close to. I want someone who I can listen to and who can listen to me. I want someone who shares my interests. I want someone that will agree to discuss and respect our boundaries with one another. I want someone who I can just be with, like we can just exist together. I want someone who will go book shopping with me and just listen to me gush about different books. I want someone who will walk down the halls with, and maybe we'll hold hands and maybe we won't. I want someone who will always be ready to comfort me and who I can comfort whenever they need it. I want someone who will help me calm down and think through things carefully. I want someone who I can explore and go on adventures with.
Basically, I just really want a queerplatonic partner/relationship.
How about instead of "Netflix and chill," we share our artwork with each other and talk about our favorite books/shows/anime/movies/etc?
Yeah, that sounds a lot more fun!
sigh…
it was fucking asexuality day 30 MINUTES AGO
that’s it I need a calendar
Here’s mine! Completed it while bored at school
I made an acespec bingo!
*Mentioned in the bingo is the term “m-spec” - it stands for “multiple attraction spectrum” and is a spectrum of orientations defined by attraction to multiple genders.
A common aspec (asexual and aromantic spectrum) experience is thinking you’re m-spec before figuring out you are actually aspec.
You can support me by following me on my socials (link in bio) and engaging with my posts, thank you 🧡
They call me a triple A battery
Because I’m asexual, aromantic, and annoying as shit
Happy pride month folks
"love is love" until it doesn't include sex
"love is love" until it lives in separate beds
"love is love" until it is queer platonic
"love is love" until it does not comply with compulsory sexuality and amatonormativity
love IS love, for aspecs, for sex repulsed folk and for platonic relationships
"love is love" apply to more than same-sex relationships in a world where romantic and sexual relationships are considered more valuable
Remember to advocate for Asexuals and Aromantics this pride. Because we are also here, and we are also queer
hello I have a theory that aspec people are in charge of tumblr
Asexual, tired, and sick!
Reblog if you're asexual and tired
FUCK YEAH!
“ACES BELONG AT PRIDE”
a PSA for the naysayers and encouragement for those who need it. mostly the latter rather than the former, but for those who needed the PSA:
you’re welcome.
※ photos taken May 2018 at Tokyo Rainbow Pride. see more at queerascat.com.
Adding to this, you should also be able to send flowers and candies and gifts to the people you love platonically without having people questioning your about it. Yes, I just gifted my best friend a bouquet of flowers. No, this does not mean I love them romantically.
‘You should only send hearts to ppl you’re romantically involved with’
WRONG! BOUNDLESS PLATONIC LOVE, WARMTH, AND ENTHUSIASM BE UPON YE!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
THIS!!! I have friends who are aro, and friends who are ace. I love them so much and I don't understand how y'all could even be excluded in the community. I accept yall, and I know there are many others too!
i love you straight aromantics. i love you straight asexuals. i love you straight aroaces. i love you straight aroallos. i love you straight aspecs. i love you straight aspecs who are questioning if they’re aspec or not. i love you ‘straight passing’ aspecs. you are loved and you are included and i see your pain and your struggles. you will always always always be a part of our community.
"Do you want a boyfriend/girlfriend?" no i want a best friend/roommate/soulmate that I can go on silly adventures with and hang out with and have deep intellectual discussions with and we can be life partners without any of the romance stuff
made a meme because what do you mean i’m questioning my sexuality again even tho i’ve been secure in my identity for the past 10 years 😭
reblog to scare the aphobes
can somebody tell me some more info about queerplatonic relationships as me and my friend are considering entering one and neither of us know much about it?????
i dont know if i’ve made a post about this yet but i wanted to go over my views on relationships and sex as i was rambling about it to my brother the other day
personally, i view sex as just another part of your relationship with somebody. like i will casually sleep with friends, but not all of them. some of them i will casually cuddle and stuff, but again, not all of them. it just depends on the relationship you have with them.
and when it comes to dating, again, i just view that as your unique relationship with somebody. i understand that not everybody views dating this way, and it’s a conversation to have with any future partners, but i personally would want to still sleep with and date other people while in a relationship, and would be fine with my partner doing that too. i don’t like the idea of devoting my entire body to one singular person.
i CAN and WILL headcanon half of the mha characters as aroaces and neither you nor god can stop me.
me, giving paper medal with word 'aroace' on it to my favorite character: i give you the greatest honor that i have.
❝a vampire hidden underneath the oceans surface…❞
𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼 ˙✧˖° 🫧 ⋆｡˚꩜🪼🦇⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝
welcome to my blog!!
⌗𝜗𝜚 Soren ! ☆ he/him/they/them ☆ 18!
>> vampire siren living in a hidden forest who comes out once in a while
my carrd!!! donate to help me get my top surgery!
>> black (🇯🇲🇺🇸) tboy !! genderfaun (agender+demiboy)
>> EST (nyc area)
>> infp/tp, 5w6, ☼ virgo ↑ libra ☾ gemini, 🥮🐕 (狗)
>> pansexual, acespec, demiromantic
>> anxiety riddled and possibly depressed
>> pre-t! hopefully starting late feb or early march!
>> pre-vet student ! (college freshman)
>> animal science, mycology, fungi, plant, bug, marine biology lover!!!
>> i have multiple aesthetics !! (mains are goth, vampire, cottagecore, fairycore)
>> i do art sometimes!! also play video games
>> i fb if i think youre cool…
>> DNI LIST: general DNI. zionist/pro israel (ew). maga / trump supporters. terfs+radfems (hating men isn’t feminism!! xx). misogynists. pedos (or “MAPs”). homophobes. transmeds. transphobes (babes youre on a transmans blog rn… leave). nazis (cannot believe i have to say this). if i think of more ill add more lol
>> my tags!!
> #🪼🦇 : all my posts! > #🪼🦇🐈 : my posts including my cat, Baby! > #🪼🦇vents : my vent posts > #🪼🦇 rants : my rant posts > #🪼🦇🏳️⚧️ : my experiences as a trans man! > #🪼🦇📔 : digital diary entries
ill add more as i think of more
˙✧˖° 🫧 ⋆｡˚꩜🪼🦇⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
Reading Loveless again:Very subtle IWBFT reference but I loved it (Georgia said she was reading a Lister x Rowan au fic(I think))
Honestly I don't even really have aspec headcanons so much as I keep forgetting that not every character is aspec
need to aromanticise this fandom more