Depressing - Blog Posts

Honestly, this is both depressing and really heartwarming. One thing I hate most about our society currently is how they convince people that their only worth is in working, and if they can't, they're useless. Like imagine thinking humans only purpose is to basically just be a fucking robot. Man, just make a fuckjng robot then! Don't give me that bullshit. (Not talking to you, btw)

Demons and monsters that torture people because they feed on human suffering are so dumb. People are suffering everywhere my guy go literally any place and take a deep whiff.

I know im supposed to love myself and be happy but god damn is it hard. There's days where i can say, "yeah i look really cute" or if i need to say something nice about myself i can say, "i have a nice smile" but there are other days where i just cant.

Im just exhausted and i can only see a fat tummy and chubby arms with no muscle and a small double chin and weird legs and a feminine smile and feminine eyes and too big hips and no facial hair and and and

I can see these things in other people and be enamored and be gaping at their beauty. Its just not okay for me to have these things. I know thats not true, but i still think it

I dont know what to do

You ever open social media and just *cry

I can’t explain one big thing that I hate

I really hate eating. I googled so many diseases but I cant explain the urge to lazy around and for hours to avoid the “responsibility” consciously.

I can work hard! I can! And sure, I need to get used to it but then…. Oh… when at that small second I feel hunger and my mind contemplated for me to stop doing EVERYTHING, just to eat, my brain sadly says BIG NONO.

I start doing nothing and when confronted i avoid it like plaque, i will put on plate, right… go to kitchen, good idea. Then I will start walking! I really have problem with consuming food, there were multiple times back then especially starting 2019…insh at covid era somewhere then, but not so long ago either, i would have extreme fasting period of months…. That happened on multiple occasions, one of them was severe. I lost lots of calories but surprisingly my body didnt feel that different. You can be surprised how long you can survive without food given you dont waste all calories and carbohydrates and glycogen most important through intense workouts.

With more dormat turgor life, you can survive even without water for quite a bit.

I definitelt did back then…. Anyway, the past is over, sometimes I fear “wow w00t wasted all his lifespan hahaahah what” but seriously on average a normal person is far more efficient than I am at efficiency in life. Sometimes its hard to put “Ive done something this grand!”

But yes i need to go fucking eat. Proving the problem……….

I don’t know why, but I find this fanart depressing for some reason.

It might be the fact that-

1. I’ve lived through a crap haircut that made me look like a potato for a freaking year (via: Jiro cutting her hair)

2. The fact that brain-dead Pickachu is just standing there not comforting her (or just doing something nice???), or

3. Cuz I’m compassionate.

Nah, definitely the first.

Genetically Predisposed To Sadness

Isn’t that just depression? But for an entire species?

in case your wondering how sane i actively am, I logged onto to google and the first thing I searched was, "How many people died today?" Over 133,000 people by the way. A bit depressing but just so you know over 283,000 births today. According to google that is.

Anyway-