whiteingale
197 posts
Latest Posts by whiteingale
I don’t feel like doing anything right now. Sigh… Sometimes I wonder what’s the point of doing anything especially hobbies… I overthink like I always have done, God…
I will not explain but I will post it here anyways...
are you a neo nazi woke 16yo boy? no shade it just kinda feels like you are
I am 22 and i am neither woke nor nazi, I am russian and I do not like german nazi ideology that much because of historical background we have faced. There are a few articles I’ve made on nazism.
That’s what I would unironically do if I was ever to talk with human russian female
Seriously, I don’t have the heart left for these things.
new comic! 😀 meeting face to face
I am tired o talking with humans, bitches get stitches. fucking whimsy
Here is the video essay I've made about the migration crisis we are currently facing together.
Cheers, sister!
>taimanin characters talk with fucking UNDERTALE HAHAHAHAHAHA tumblr is so gay xd
Introducing muses from their own blogs coming into here like. . .
“ …How did I get here?”
“Rinko-senpai! There’s some sort of goat demon here!”
“Then I shall have this demon taste my blade.”
“I’m not a demon, I’m a Boss Monster. I suggest you both put down those weapons before I burn you both.”
“You won’t even get the chance to do anything.”
“Don’t get too hasty Yukikaze.”
“ … .I’m staying out of this and being all the way back here.”
“I feel out of place.”
today is worst day, i am off killing myself.
+
our existence and future is predetermined by variables around us.
some things that make you better, and some things that don't.
when I consider that I imagine I should just off myself today.
I got shock figuring out I am 22, not 21 years old. I lost track of time so badly I forgot that. I thought I was 21 and convinced myself. But I actually am 22 now. Wow, last 5 years of my life were hell. In fact, I'd say everything after 12 was already hell. It was empty void. That's why I really hate videogames, why did I spend so much time playing garbage like Dark Souls? Jesus. Uh... Fuck, I am 22 years old, holy shit I am fucked. It's time to think about my future priorities. a month in mental asylum then few years of absolute suffering and misery, anything after 2015 is blurry to me, I feel like I stopped existing as entity. I wasted a lot of time on social media, a lot of time chasing nothingness, things that possess no power in the world.
And now it's actually 2025?! My brain feels like nothing has been happening and I was genuinely rotting away. I am glad I managed to release some of these touhou videos, I am glad I managed to bring churro back. But everything in my spirit feels miserable, it's pretty obvious I am not cutout for humanity's methodology. I haven't made any friends nor any partner, I do not have any form of support at all. Not even one of family. And with my personality, with my way of being, I doubt I'll ever be able to get any. My ego is in shambles and anger as of right now. It's funny right? It's a small detail but if I said 21 it would have made me FEEL as if I accomplished a little of something. By taking a date one year further now it makes me feel like I am REALLY LATE. After all, I took a while to condition myself to the premise of "atmosphere", this is how "things are supposed to be or play out". I feel insignificant today and like the world is jusjt gonna step on me to death and there's nothing I can do. I am people pleaser, because i felt socially forced to act like one. Like that was a means of survival that I half-hazardly accepted while not feeling it in my heart. Now even complaining makes me feel like age is crawling as penalty for speaking words here. Indeed, nobody really cares. It's all fake, people only care about things that cost zero risk. Associating yourself with something weak makes you weak, isn't that right?
So, what will be my priorities for the rest of my life?
I am definitely alone and I am also not strong to defeat the world on my own, I am tired of ironyposting. I am fucking tired of watching shit youtube content. I am tired of social media hijacking my mind (when really i would've preferred living in a tribe than this fucking -technocratic place) well.. 1. I will try to work on churro as much as I can so this site works and I will use my finance to support it. Since I won't ever have a child, I can share it with the site. It can be costly for future servers and for advertising on whenever I can, but it is my genuine goal to both spend my time and money on the site. That said, I cannot do it while also working, because a few hours aren't enough to code any substantial changes or fix bugs. I will work on trying to take a gambit of perfecting the site while NEET at the moment. My second goal is touhouposting, I thought that I will have periods where I upload videos on youtube and continue doing it. Playing videogames might not be good way to spend free time, but nobody really liked me and I don't communicate so I feel this is better efficient way than all these times I tried making friends. I will probably upload touhou videos every 4 days if my time allows it, but I will eventually run out of time to edit.
So, the touhou thing isn't eternal, give it like 5 years maybe max, I hope to end it at 3. They will be published even if I die but they ought to be entertaining videos.
With that said, gym and training play huge role of my daily life. So that also takes a lot of time.
And procrastinating, I gotta talk about the worst. I am bad at dealing with abstract things, they waste my time more than anything. I am already a loser incel the way I am but when I deal with something that doesn't have a clear goal it will be bothering me. I need to manage my time so I spend the LEAST time on things that requrie entertainment over work. This stuff is something that is hard to fight when you got addicted to brainrot.
As for drawing, drawing is genuine effort workoholic example, so I priotize drawing in free time over meaningless conversations with people who only care about themselves anyway + doom feedscrolling (awful i hate it i am not gonna do it anymroe notgonnadoit My life looks pretty shady according to human standard, but I never went to bars or anything like that, in fact maybe its peopel who are shady and they have the majority. So, what do I do after I get churro perfect and upload all vids I wanted? hm....
yep, I'm probably gonna die. I wouldn't know anything anymore, it'd be nice to have son who would manage churro, maybe I can adopt somebody at very late age as ultra-cuck or something, I am getting tired of typing....
i am 21 ironically though.
and that's exactly what i'd want... except i don't have energy to watch animeslop too...
i'd rather just sleep
FRIENDS (1994-2004) 4.09 The One Where They're Going to Party!
Do you think CIA is retarded and if you use older windows version they wont be able to watch because it has no backdoor anymore?
Wiring that huge essay didnt make me less horny sadly.
Why NOT
siiigh some things are beyond our control
I've had trauma since a long time since childhood, when I was younger I used to be creative and explorative, but something eventually has changed, I stopped thinking of rash decisions and for me this hell became objective reality. Everything seemed to be nihilistic, there was no hope or meaning to persevere, it felt for long like a trap and it still feels that way. I became a person who was desperate for a hope, for something to prove me wrong. But I was always proven not, in fact I became naive and cruel at the same time, because for me it was life and death option. I needed some reassurance this world is good and not birthed from bestial malice. At the end, I was never wrong about a damn thing.
However, even though being objective gives you kinder better understood perspective on life, it is not good. You find a perfect answer, after that you become stale. It seems in this world there is no happy ending, when you reach "it" you will end with despair again. You may try any path, and you will always end with the same despair. I am not sure if it actually implies to human perception everywhere, but somewhere deep I was irritated that everyone "got it" except for me, like everyone knew how to get away with evil except for me who was real dumb chump. Even at school, everybody knew how to cheat during final exam papers and did so. Except for me and one other jewish classmate. Everybody knew how to properly bully others. But I haven't been perse "brave" as much as logical, as long as I can read it it's not scary. So I played smart. And unfortunately, it has messed me up. Objectively, sole way to win life is to die for my conclusion.
Human perception is birthed of flaws since leaving the Eden, there is no real way any longer to win. Perception is doomed to fall.
Yet, I never once acknowledged that I did have happy moments, but it has never felt to me because the life kept going and it made me feel like I am outpaced all the time. Maybe, that sense of security from objective point of view is something I must let go off somehow. I honestly have no clue how scary the world is without logic, but logic has never managed to cure it. I believe you and I got scammed into believing it did and had false hopes for technology.
But hey, knowing this it is very possible that human livestocks will genuinely happen in far future. Oh well, we can't stop it from happening. Visit churro.
I promise I would do anythjng to kill you. Anything for you to die at the bottom of shit, but we know I am not in this strength and never has been. But I will still try hoping that you can feel pain, even though we all know you’re incapable and after thunder see only your own face.
I’ll stay at park for at least half hour.
i am hungryyyyyyy. i drank protein but i still feel dizzy but i dont want to be fat either, anyway I want to finish drawing this but its my first time actually not being lazy.
We WHITE PEOPLE OWN TOUHOU WE FUCKING OWN THE PROJECT
original: Two Girls Blowing Bubbles
Jacob Maris (1837–1899)
And he knows a single ninjujutsu 😫
Rock Lee vs. Gaara went SO hard and was so memorable, it unintentionally tricked an entire generation into thinking Naruto's underlying theme was that effort and hard work ultimately triumph over natural talent. Naruto was, in fact, not about that. It was the opposite, in fact.
I feel I’m gonna kill myself today
‘Cause I am kind. People don’t like it. I share my kindness to you but what people want is a sheep. They want livestock that is completely given to them whole. Someone like Jesus is less prefferable who grans wish to you than praying to cows is.
I am on limit, it’s difficult to keep being kind but I am honest I don’t have power to be cruel either yet.
I can’t ever respect you, you bounded everything to make me hate you. It’s same thing every time, everyone has fun and you make light-hearted joke until you get ostracised and bullied. Not everybody can makes jokes apparently, but not all people can be friends as well. I am forced to be evil because you need me to be one. I can’t be your friend neither a bystander, I need to be the consummate for your friendships.
Even if I didn’t ever want it. That’s why I can never respect you.
Her new design looks gemmy wtf. My beloved its been years and eons we meet yet again.
Come
To think of it, this is my first time wearing… THIS SHIRT OUTSIDE MY HOUSE.
God is on my side.
I was inspired for the board /mog/ css on churro
𐙚 ˚🍰 ⋆｡˚ ᡣ𐭩
I decided to use tumblr to share my art from now on instead of meaningless blogging, nobody reads it. I thought of sites like pixiv and other but I hate their design, overall english-speaking or neutral community like tumblr seems to be good enough.
Social media took too much of my lifespan and I despise the feed system this place uses. But without the feed, it is similar to having a blogspot or wordpress personal website. I will most likely pick really weird tags, I’m studying.
If you want to share culture
http://www.churro.club
Shut the fuck about 4chan.
We get it you are a gooner. You gooned and now your favorite closet website is dead. But you can goon at /bb/.