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Self Love - Blog Posts
rebloging this because i made a few small changes and my favorite color changed lol
it’s nothing super big but i like it a lot more now!
decided to post some art here, maybe i’ll post more sometime :o)
this is my sona! just a little teddy bear!
made a moodboard recently and i was rather happy with it! so i figured i might as well post it here :o)
the two little devil doodles were drawn by @/grogdimples on instagram and tiktok (they gave me permission to post them!)
hello dark mode users :)
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a happy new year to everyone! i hope that this year goes at least somewhat well, we can only try our best. always remember to take care of yourself, especially now in 2024!
happy new years! 2024 yippee!
i will yell and cry and scream until my throat is raw and ragged
I WILL LOVE I WILL BE LOVED! I WILL HOLD MY ARMS OPEN FOR OTHERS AND THEY WILL FIND COMFORT IN MY EMBRACE!!! I WILL NEVER BE LIKE YOU! I WILL LOVE! I WILL LOVE!
“you’ve changed!”
“you’re so different now!”
yes, I’m far more Pretty now. you’re welcome :o)
i just Adore being pretty. i Love the compliments, i Enjoy the Looks i get, and i’m so Fond of Dressing up
I know i’m a Pretty Boy
But please tell me That i am anyways :o)
i am So Excited for an upcoming Day! why You may ask? Because my Self Care day is coming up! oh how i’ve Been waiting!
soft healing urges to blossom your heart and flower your soul <3
credits: @ hopehealingarts on instagram!
This! This is actually so important and we often overlook it and puss ourselves over our limits, which isn't bad overall, but dumb if we aren't careful
Self-care isn't selfish; it's necessary. Take the time to prioritize your well-being.
I sick of people telling what I am
For the past month I look up biracial on Twitter and youtube most of the time it "you not black enough" or "you not white enough" then what am I? Bc a lot of people on both platforms said I can't be both. I'm biracial (white/black) I have a lot of black features and some white features but when I come to my skintone I both bc my mom is really pale and my dad is really dark an my skintone is in between. My hair is kinky (like really kinky) my eyes are brown
My skintone have brown in it
My eye shape is similar to my dad's
And my nose
I get this from my dad side.
But some features are on my mom side
Like my ear size
some time my face
Her height
Her body shape.
I'm both of them so please stop saying shit like " your not black enough for this" just bc I don't talk or joke the same as you same thing with the white side and I getting really tired of people saying I have to choose one side of my family and then tell me I not enough for this.
I love my both side of my family and I not going to choose one just to please your views on me!
This. If I can get this into my head, that would be great
self-improvement should be because you want to improve your quality of life, not because you feel or think you *need* to be better in order to be loved or allowed to live. there's no end goal with self-improvement, it's easy to dig yourself a grave when you don't realize that you're not on a ticking clock to be the 'best version of yourself'. all you need to strive to do is be the version of yourself you are the most happy with. find out what values you find important, what kind of friend do you want to be, how do you want to react to things. what are things that would improve the way you go about life? what would make life easier, better and more enjoyable for you?
Honey Rose Love Ritual
"Plant Magic for the Beginner Witch: An Herbalist’s Guide to Heal, Protect and Manifest" by Ally Sands.
the real enemies to lovers plot was my arc in discovering how to love myself. it may have taken several years, but holy shit i think it worked
Im still shaking, but i finally booked my first therapy session. After being intimidated by that for like multiple years, I finally took the first step.
I feel kinda hopeful for the first time in a long time.
This is your sign to step up for yourself <3
so, i came back to tumblr, after all! weird to be here, i've disappeared almost everywhere, the queen of ghosting. it was for a good reason. i've been dealing with a long period of crisis, gave up 2 semesters at uni, been stuck in my bed 23h/day (not a hyperbole). finally, i feel like coming back here.
in this whole period, i haven't done too much. couldn't read, watched not so many movies/tv shows, but i did listen to a bunch of music. that kept me a bit less depressed.
i feel like i have something inside of me that is trying too hard to get out, but i don't know how to do it; it's a feeling of creation. only a few people actually feel this, like they need to create something, to put it out, but haven't found a way yet. it's stuck, and it's a whole interwork.
AND altho i know that not many people follow me, neither know who i am or whatever, but to anybody reading this and going through something bad, i hope you get better. focus on your health. it'll pass, doesn't matter when, just be strong and keep fighting. this isn't a coaching shit or self-help bad book, but for experience of someone who's dealing with way too much. everyday is a new day to begin again, until you get it.
have a really muthafuckin great day, guys. much love to you. (that's for the 2 people maybe reading this lmfao thank you for being here) 🌧🤍
You’re a Queen When No One is Watching-
Why is it, in the late darkness of night,
When beasts roam my bedroom floor and monsters reach out from beneath my bed,
When everyone sleeps, but for the wild imagination lurking behind my eyes,
When I’m at my loneliest and most vulnerable,
My most wild, euphoric, depressed, inspired and wisest self,
That I am at my most beautiful?
When I decide I will no longer attempt to succumb to sleep’s blissful embrace,
When I enter a room with Alice’s looking glass,
And see the circles beneath my eyes, the gentle curve of my lips, and sharp lines of my once full face,
Why do I look like a goddess of war, the judge of your soul beyond death, the unstoppable, raging force of a true queen...
Why does the real me choose to show herself when there is no one there to see the rawness of being a real human being...
When no one is there to love the part of you that you love yourself.
The you you hide,
To save that last little bit of light from the darkness of others...
I hate when no one is around to appreciate that I not only look like a goddess, I feel like one too.
Come love, make me better than I was.
Come teach me a kinder way to say my own name.
— Andrea Gibson, from “Good Light,” Lord of the Butterflies
Self-Love Spell
Sometimes it can be a little difficult to love, especially ourselves. So awhile back when I was struggling with this the most, I came up with a little spell that helped me. This spell is simple and beginner friendly. This is also a spell that may be done as needed. Perfect for full moons, but as our emotions are strong, you can do this anytime you feel you may need it.
Supplies you’ll need:
- Pink or white candle
- Paper and pen
- Fire safe bowl
- Rose quartz, or any crystal you resonate with (optional)
The Spell:
🌹 On a piece of paper, write down any negative thoughts that you are currently having pertaining to yourself or self image.
🌹Take the paper and burn it. Drop the paper into the fire safe bowl and as it burns, imagine what you wrote burning away with it. Let those thoughts disappear with the paper. Take as long as you need with this before moving onto the next step.
🌹 On a new piece of paper, write down some positive things about yourself. If you’re having trouble in this moment coming up with something positive, take a little longer to meditate. If I find myself struggling with this part I write, “ I am loving, I am loved, and I deserve love.” Allow yourself to see this as true.
🌹 Lastly, keep this paper, along with a crystal (if chosen to work with one), under your pillow throughout the night. You may also keep this paper close with you on your person as needed.
Take some time to care for yourself. Remember you are human, allow yourself to be upset, but remember you are powerful and magical. ❤
WARNING : Contains themes of self-hate, mild suicidal mention if you squint hard enough, and enough depression to give a dog a heart attack
"Yourself?" the alchemist raises an eyebrow behind his wire-rimmed frames.
You swallow, feeling embarrassed already, but nod.
"Yes, um, they're for me," you answer hesitantly, trying not to let him see how awkward you're feeling.
The alchemist surveys you with an unrecognisable emotion in his eyes that's either disgust or concern or confusion. Or probably even a mix of all 3. You really have no clue. Either ways, it makes you feel like you're being literally dissected and observed from every point of view possible, and you squirm uncomfortably in the chair.
"You know how love potions work, am I right?" the alchemist asks, and you almost jump in your seat as he speaks after what feels like an eternity.
"Um, right, yes! I, uh, the person you like drinks it and then, if you're the first person he or she sees, they fall in love with you," you recite quickly. You had memorised the line off Wikipedia from the number of times you'd contemplated using a love potion.
The alchemist gives you another deep, profound look, before delivering the very line you'd dreaded hearing from the moment you came up with the stupid plan, "It's not going to work."
You sigh in resignation, slumping forward and burying your face in your palms.
"Why not?" you ask quietly, forgetting to hide the tremble in your voice.
"Because the only person who can make you love yourself is you yourself," he says, and you look up, confused.
"What? Do you really think I don't know that? That I haven't tried?" you ask, getting mildly pissed, "I have tried so many times, for so many years, to love myself. You think I don't want to feel confident? To feel amazing about myself for once? To feel like, it's okay to be alive? You think I don't wish I was like the other people? You think I don't wish I were someone who doesn't want to claw her eyeballs out everytime she gets reminded of how imperfect she is? I've tried, Doctor, I have tried everything. I tried encouraging myself. I tried not to think negatively about myself. I tried to keep myself motivated. I tried to talk it out with friends, family, to keep myself away from drastic measures. But no one, NO ONE is ever there to watch me sob in bed at 2 a.m because I'm just a huge bloody mess. I have done my best to act as my own therapist for years and years now, and it doesn't work. How am I supposed to convince myself that I'm worthy of survival? That I'm not just a waste of time, space and money? You think I don't know, that the only person who can love myself truly is me? You think I don't want that?!"
You have to admit, the alchemist had nerves of steel to just sit there and observe you calmly as you ranted angrily in front of him. He gives you a few seconds to calm down and silently offers you a glass of water.
"Sorry," you try to apologise after the outburst, immediately feeling ashamed, but he shakes his head.
"Don't be sorry. It's a common experience for those who feel self-hatred to want to lash out occassionally and wish they were different," he says with all the calmness of a gentle ocean breeze.
"...so, why won't the love potion work?" you ask carefully.
"Because the love potion only makes people's emotions towards you change. It can't change your emotions. If you don't like yourself, you can't drink it and expect your emotions to change," the alchemist says. He's still simply sitting behind his desk, elbows resting on the polished rosewood desk, fingers interlocked below his chin, his gaze on you.
You sigh, disappointed. "Alright then, I suppose this was just a waste...Thank you for your time." You stand, about to leave and go home and despair about another failed plan, when he stops you.
"I may not be a therapist," he says suddenly just as your hand grips the cold steel handle of the door, "But I can still give suggestions."
You pause, facing the door. Half of you wants to leave and never return again, but the better half of you forces you to stay, even if you're still facing the door.
"Like what?" you ask, and your voice is so fragile, so brittle, begging for hope and love and acceptance, a voice so dangerously close to being pushed over the edge, a voice that's screaming for help, even if you'll never admit it. As you turn to face the alchemist, he can see the pain in your eyes as you rebuke yourself mentally for ever being here, the dread in the taut lines of your face as you mentally scold yourself for troubling the alchemist with your petty problems, the resignation in your pursed mouth as you wait for him to deliver advice that you've probably heard all your life.
"I know, there's clearly not much that I can say that will ever possibly make you feel better. I know, trust me. I've seen others go down that rabbit hole before too. And...the only thing that helps? Forgetting it exists. Get to work. Get to life. Work. Eat. Sleep. Study. Meet friends. Have fun. And for a while, forget your problems. I'm no therapist. I don't know what you're supposed to say to a person going through absence of self-esteem. But distracting yourself and reminding yourself that life's not all about you can make you better. It may not drag away the problems. It may not make you feel awesome all of a sudden. But it can give you a break. A resting period, where you can gather your strength once again to fight your battles. Just stop thinking for a while, and be busy."
You're surprised. You thought he'd tell you some amazing life secret that nobody knew that could magically fix your problems. Hey, miracles do happen now and then.
But instead, he just tells you to be busy.
For a second, you're annoyed, and you're about to tell him that you're a very busy person as it is.
But then you get what he means.
He meant to be so engrossed in living life, that you forget about your problems now and then. Your mind can freshen itself to face the problems of your heart another day. He meant that you should be so concentrated in working, relaxing, enjoying, laughing, smiling, speaking, that your brain doesn't get the time to hate yourself. He meant that you should live your life in your own way to the fullest, so that even if you hate yourself, you can never say that you didn't give life a shot. That even if you hate yourself and don't think you deserve to exist, the one good thing you managed to do was live life to the best of it.
And somehow, even though you still hate yourself, even though you still wish you were never born, you manage to offer the alchemist a small smile. A smile with hope, acceptance, and the determination to keep moving on. A smile that holds the courage to face the world and yourself with renewed vigour. A smile that holds all the pain of a person drowning in self-hate, yet also holding the joy of a person who knows what to do.
"Thank you, Doctor. I guess I didn't need the love potion after all."
“You have to understand, the use of love potions is both morally gross and legally r-”, you interrupt the alchemist, and say the potion is meant for yourself.
Characters I Headcanon have Bipolar disorder
(From the perspective of someone living with Bipolar 2)
**Disclaimer**
This is all meant to be in good fun and I’m no mental health expert; merely someone who has been through lots of therapy
Let’s Begin!
1. Rin Okumura from Blue Exorcist
I’ve always related to Rin Okumura, especially during the time I was under the mistaken diagnosis of ADD. I was surprised to learn from this that a lot of symptoms of bipolar can look like ADD/ADHD at times.
For example, Rin is shown to be someone who is easily distracted or fixated on new topics. He also tends to sleep a lot which is confirmed in the manga by the fact that this boy sleeps 12 hours every night. And finally a major factor that clued me in is how easily he is swayed by his emotions which leads him to act impulsively.
Rin’s emotions tie him to his demonic half which in turn can cause a lot of inner turmoil for him. I’m sure anyone with bipolar can relate in feeling like their change to either a manic/hypomanic state can cause them to feel like a demon and out of control. But as is shown in the series, by practicing to focus on his emotions, Rin learns to lessen and control his symptoms.
2. Gangle from The Amazing Digital Circus
I know I know, I’m lowkey pulling for stereotypes here with the tragedy and comedy masks. And on top of that this is a series with only a pilot so we hardly know anything concrete about her character. 😂
Everyone in the digital circus seems to play a role based off of their avatar given to them. As a being with two different masks, Gangle is very sensitive to the way in which she acts when her comedy mask is broken.
She tends to be very anxious and sensitive to the events that unfold around her both physically and mentally (she unravels from a mere bowling ball being thrown her way by Jax).
In some fandom interpretations of her character I’ve seen interesting depictions that also heavily give bipolar vibes like Gangle having an abstracted self tied to her ribbons or forcing on her comedy mask. I love Gangle and this pilot.
3. Captain SpaceBoy from Omori
Oh poor Captain SpaceBoy. He’s so heavily influenced by any mood swings he experiences that he seems to take on an entirely new persona whether it be SpaceBoyfriend, Space-ExBoyfriend, SpaceHusband, or Space-ExHusband.
When you first meet his character, you can clearly see he is depressed as he refuses to leave his bed and throws away any special possessions that remind him of his heart ache. Later on he even goes as far as to isolate himself on top of a snowy mountain when the heartache returns to him again..
He is also easily consumed by a rage which seems similar to a manic/hypomanic state that leads him to fight the main cast of characters. Also when it comes to his special boss battle I find it interesting how you can only defeat him by fighting him in certain states of emotion.
4. Howl Jenkins Pendragon from Howl’s Moving Castle
Howl is undeniably a drama Queen, but some of the ways in which he takes certain actions give me some bipolar vibes.
There is of course the infamous scene in which he throws a tantrum due to Sophie organizing his hair dye potions. He swings very quickly from being irritated and enraged to absolutely inconsolable and depressed. He even spends that next couple hours in bed after this scene.
Howl also tends to lead himself to danger as he appears to be in heightened states of euphoria when he pushes himself to the limit with his magic. He is also rather impulsive when it comes to the relationships he makes with others if we are going off of his book persona.
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But above all!! All these characters are shown to be good people who genuinely care about the feelings of others and try to do their best to help even when their own mental health is bringing them down.
Bipolar individuals are more than their disorder; we are all kind people ♥️
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And that’s all! Lemme know what you think :)
I know this isn’t usually the stuff I post on here I just think I look really good in this picture 
HAPPY WOMENS DAY TO ALL THE WONDERFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING OR HAD A GOOD DAY YOUR ALL BEAUTIFUL
Everyone has rolls when they bend over. Everyone. Lets just get this out of the way right off the bat. In the last few months, I’ve had over 30 women ranging from rail thin to extra large naked in my bed and I would routinely ask them to hug their knees. You won’t believe this… ALL OF THEM HAD TUMMY ROLLS. Not one was exempt. Even my super fabulous professional model 6 foot tall and some amazing Katie had rolls. The stomach pictures turned into some of my favorite images from the project… so quit thinking they’re bad, and try accepting (dare I say embracing?) yours! When people say “you’re gorgeous”, believe them. I tend not to, and it’s a cryin’ shame. When people genuinely compliment you, it’s because they really see it. Try to not dismiss their perspective as wrong and assume that you know better. They see all of you. We see our flaws. Believe them. “Arm flab is embarrassing.” No its not, go fuck yourself. No, not you. The people who tell us that, silly. You’re not stunning despite your body. You’re stunning because of your body. There is a distinct difference. I grew up in a culture that would deem “unattractive” women as “special spirits”. A degrading categorization that implied that the only thing worthwhile was whatever was inside. Well, yeah. We are all much much more than our bodies, but our bodies are a beautiful part of us too. Beauty comes from the inside AND the outside. I am of the firm belief that every person is beautiful, and so this leaves the inside to be the part that is the most telling when it comes to true “beauty”. A guy can pick you up off your feet, and it won’t break his back. “Wait, whaaaaaa Jes? You’re full of shit.” Nope. This just happened to me for the first time in… six years? I’m considerably heavier than I was 6 years ago (like… 70 pounds heavier) and so when I ran up to my friend Eric for a hug and he picked me up with my heels in the air… it left me breathless. I had forgotten that it was possible; I had accepted a life void of being lifted. So exhilarating. Eric didn’t suffer any injuries and walked away unscathed. You don’t need to exercise every day in order to feel better about yourself. Many believe that someone who’s fat needs to exercise as much as possible in order to prove that they’re committed to becoming “less fat”. As if accepting one’s body as is would be a sin, and that’s just silly. Yes, exercising has wonderful physical and mental benefits, but you don’t owe it to anyone else to make an effort to change your body unless you wanna. You do not have to alter yourself to be okay. Period. You’re allowed to fall in love with yourself. I promise. This will be the scariest thing you will ever do, and that’s okay. It will also be the most amazing (albeit super gradual) experience you will ever have. It doesn’t make you narcissistic. It doesn’t make you vain. It is liberating in every form of the word.
It’s also okay to have days where you don’t love yourself. Read this. No really. Read it. And then realize that we’ve grown up learning and internalizing that we are not okay our entire life. For me, that’s 26 years of self-hate indoctrination and brainwashing. It’s going to take a lot longer than you think to reverse this thinking, and it’s definitely not going to happen overnight. Allow yourself to have “weak” days. Cry, mourn, sob, yell, throw things. Whichever. Then get up, brush yourself off, give the media the finger, and move forward because you’re a warrior. Everyone’s boobs are uneven. If you have a lot of boobs, they might be way uneven. Don’t stress. This is totally normal. There are people who prefer large ladies. And I mean all sizes of large. I thought that my best bet in life was to find a partner who accepted my fat. Pause. Give me a minute to hang my head and shake it at myself. Not only are there people who adore “thick” women, but a LOT of them who prefer it. This eventually ends up in an interesting territory which Marianne talks about here, but the point that I’m trying to make goes back to the “despite vs because of” argument. Here is what you need to know: you do NOT need to settle for a lover who is “okay” with your body. You have the right (and millions of opportunities) to find someone who is infatuated with your body. You deserve to be worshiped, woman! Fat chicks bang hot guys… ALL. THE. TIME.I know that hot is relative and all inclusive depending on who you chat with, but for these purposes, lets talk about the “universally attractive” kind of hot. Y’know, the kind fat chicks don’t deserve? We want to pretend that we don’t know what I’m talking about, but lets be real; we totally do. The fact that “fat chicks bang ‘hot’ guys” was one of the most powerful realizations I’ve had thus far. In line with the above paragraph, I knew that there would be someone that would find me attractive but the pool would be small (because of my body) and potentially full of guys I didn’t personally find sexy. So I would have to settle for anyone that would take me. After all, how could a conventionally gorgeous man (tall and with tattoos of course) like fat chicks? Weh-he-hell, let me tell you somethin’: through various sites, events, parties, and corner store meetings, I found myself with over a hundred men who were champing at the bit to get with this. I was the one who had to sift through and pick the hottest of the hot. Ladies, over a hundred. “Girls” showed what society thinks about that when Hannah’s character has a weekend romance with an attractive and wealthy doctor. People flipped their shit. “Patrick Wilson is so hot he would never do Lena Dunham” was the most eye catching. Wilson’s wife responded to that rubbish here, but the tweet speaks volumes about what the majority of people think unconventional women deserve. Jesus christ, it’s annoying. I won’t spill the details of my bedroom coming and goings, but lets just say this: the hottest guys in Tucson and I get along just fine. I would recommend reading Emily’s article on xoJane for a better explanation of what I’m struggling to say. Know this: the myth that “atypical” bodies can’t be paired with “typically attractive” bodies is false. Women need to know that all bodies can be paired with all bodies. Riding during sex will NOT collapse his insides. Just trust me on this one, what you fear is totally false. Here’s a great article that changed my life. Wearing whatever you want is a political statement. Join the revolution. Throw style rules out the window. Wear the tutu. Wear the horizontal stripes. Wear the turquoise skinny jeans. Wear the see-through blouse. Wear the bikini. Wear the sweat pants. Wear the shirt that says “Does this shirt make me look fat?”. Wear whatever it is that makes you happy. This is your life. You are fucking beautiful. I’m saying this with a straight face and seriously meaningful look where I maintain eye contact for an uncomfortable amount of time. I know you don’t feel like you fit into the category of gorgeous that our world creates. I know that its hard. I know that its a daily battle. But fuck their fascist beauty standards. The second you stop looking for a skinny model in your mirror and start looking at YOU… is the second you will start to appreciate what you are. Stop looking for flaws. Stop looking for differences. You are perfect. You are more than enough. You are the best thing that has ever happened to you. And you are fucking beautiful. Say it with me.
things life is too short for: - hating yourself - pretending to laugh at “jokes” that are actually just bigoted statements - not singing along to your favorite songs - waiting hours to text someone back just to look cool - bad coffee - bad books - mean people - body shaming - letting other people dictate your life
But then, the truth was never really the point. Thin women don’t tell their fat friends ‘You’re not fat’ because they’re confused about the dictionary definition of the word, or their eyes are broken, or they were raised on planets where size 24 is the average for women. They don’t say it because it’s the truth. They say it because fat does not mean just fat in this culture. It can also mean any or all of the following: Ugly Unhealthy Smelly Lazy Ignorant Undisciplined Unlovable Burdensome Embarrassing Unfashionable Mean Angry Socially inept Just plain icky So when they say ‘You’re not fat,’ what they really mean is ‘You’re not a dozen nasty things I associate with the word fat.’ The size of your body is not what’s in question; a tape measure or a mirror could solve that dispute. What’s in question is your goodness, your lovability, your intelligence, your kindness, your attractiveness. And your friends, not surprisingly, are inclined to believe you get high marks in all those categories. Ergo, you couldn’t possibly be fat.
Kate Harding (via shakethecobwebs)
“They didn’t build this shit with fat people in mind” she sighed as she wriggled her way out of the just slightly too tight space behind the register.
“But you’re not fat, don’t say that,” he responded.
Tell that to the hips that got caught in a turnstile yesterday and everyday that she forgets...