Tw Ed - Blog Posts

just wanted to let you know that if you post chubby / plus size / fat people on your ed blog and degrade them to make yourself feel better, you're an absolute piece of shit and I wish you mass hair loss

since im overweight with 4n4 favorite thing to do is watch those videos explaining 4n4 and their diagnosis just so i can get triggered over the "person must be at a normal / or underweight" so it motivates me to PROVE i have it

when the day was so bad you don't even wanna log your cals or you know you'll cry (it's not even 6 pm yet)

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

i WILL get through this 24 hour fast.

when you f4sted for 22 hours and the scale hasn't gone down

i hate eating after fasting because i can never stop honeymoon cycle plz come back I'll treat you right trust 🙁

Be safe.

i fainted about an hour ago and my ears are still ringing. if you see this, TAKE YOUR VITAMINS! fainting isnt fun and you can seriously hurt yourself.

taken from pinterest. this one really spoke to me

I have brought to you headcanons for Chuuya, Atsushi, and Dazai!

WARNING: These headcanons are about eating disorders and unhealthy relationships with food in general. I am not a professional and have not had any ED's myself, so these headcanons are based solely off of my research and conversations I've had with loved ones who have experienced them. Please seek professional help if you struggle with any eating disorders and proceed with caution.

EDIT: added all the tags I forgot

1. Atsushi has Binge Eating Disorder. Since the orphanage restricted his food so much, he eats uncontrollably a lot and tends to starve himself a bit in between binges. Kyouka knows and tries to help Atsushi, but I don't actually think a lot of the ada members know. Atsushi hides it well and Kyouka respects Atsushis wishes to keep it under wraps. Dazai probably thinks something is up but isn't sure, and Ranpo probably knows about it, but neither say anything to avoid making Atsushi uncomfortable or nervous. Atsushi doesn't really eat in front of people either. The only exception is snacking when he gets super bad hunger panes (I'm talking not going days with eating little to nothing, usually that happens because of mission). Even then he will only binge or really eat in general until he's alone.

2. Chuuya used to have ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder). Because of him living in the slums until he was 15, he got used to ignoring hunger panes and limiting how much he was eating because of a lack of food, so when he was accepted into the Port Mafia, he brought those habits with him, and would only eat a certain amount at specific times, usually when he was alone. He probably only ate certain foods like bread, canned products, mostly things that wouldn't expire or would provide a lot of energy without eating much. Koyou, Dazai, and the Flags all helped him work through it so he doesn't have it by the time Canon rolls around and is careful about maintaining a good relationship with food for their sakes. Koyou also checks in on him whenever they meet up.

3. Not really ED related and I've seen this one a lot, but Dazai has days where he has a food aversion because of his depression. The thought of or seeing food makes him sick, or sometimes it's just days where he doesn't feel hungry at all. The days range from being able to eat if its his canned crab, to only drinking a glass or two of whiskey if anything (I imagine that whiskey is a kind of comfort drink to him because of the days where he drank at bar lupin with oda and ango), to refusing to eat and drink anything, whether it's his safe/comfort food or drink or not. Kunikida knows this and it's the main reason he checks in on Dazai to see if he's eaten. I don't think Kunikida is entirely aware of his safe food and drink, though, so if it's one of those days, Kunikida will just take a lot of time gently urging Dazai to eat something. Ranpo also probably knows about it and will sometimes throw a piece of candy Dazais way on those days. The combined efforts usually convince Dazai to eat a bit of canned crab, though it's always alone. Chuuya also knows and will get on Dazai about not eating. He'll also prep some canned crab and keeps a bottle of whiskey at his place just in case. Sure they're not healthy at all but it's better than nothing. The food aversion days were more frequent and worse back when he was still in the PM, and he's gotten better with them now. Though they do still happen every now and then of course.

You say chonky baby Henry, I say Henry's default is pudgy and he just hasn't been eating enough. The minute Robert picks up on his bad eating habits and makes him eat dinner with him every day, he gets his Chonk back, and anyone crushing on him is absolutely screwed because he is So Cute and So Handsome and looks So Happy. The battle for his affections quickly involves giving him snacks and taking him to dinner. Bonus happy side effect; Rachel notices Hyde gaining a bit more weight and is relieved that he doesn't look like a drowned rat anymore.

Ooo hurt/comfort bonus though; Frankenstein makes some snarky comments about his weight just trying to get under his skin and the Lodgers fukkin POUNCE and go off about body shaming. Frankenstein is in trouble for a while, especially with Maijabi (Henry's science dad), Rachel (who's been trying to get Henry to eat more for forever), and Robert (who JUST got Henry to start forming healthier habits).

CHONKY HENRY SUPREMACY.

I did confirm yesterday that I am a chonky bastard, and while chonk often can (keyword being CAN, not that it does always) make me uncomfortable, i LOVE chonky Henry. Chonky baby Henry chonky adult Henry GIVE THE MAN SOME FLUFF OK. Give me Henry being a fucking twig because he has a bad appetite and problems with remembering to eat and the MOMENT Robert realizes how thin Henry has gotten, he makes sure that bastard EATS like a NORMAL HUMAN BEING. Henry slowly but surely 1) getting a good appetite and 2) getting his chonk back because the chonk is natural and it's just like he is growing back into his skin. Actually having energy and his body actually functioning and Henry actually getting happy chemicals because he isn't starving. All those swooning for him swooning HARDER because he looks handsome and happy and ESPECIALLY when he actually has some fluff. Also henry getting stronger because his body can actually work on his muscles yes and PLEASE.

Frankenstein would be such a hypocrite about Henry and his tiny bit of chonk because she is built like a fucking bulldog. Maybe she would say that he is getting chonk because he is a lazy bastard and a rich aristocrat or whatever and teh Lodgers. WOULD POUNCE at her. Grab her by her collar and shake her like DONT YOU SEE THAT HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A SICK CHIHUAHUA ANYMORE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. I just... yes <3 Also projecting more hurt comfort by having Henry feel guilty and having those words nagging in him only for Maijabi, Rachel, Robert, and Jasper to just hug the shit out of him because dont he DARE think that it's NOT GOOD that he has chonk. Just. Yes pls <3

tips that aren't the same list from 2006

you know exactly what dumbass list I mean, and none of that shit is practical, it's giving uwu ana butterfly and we all know it

hi, I'm angel, I'm a nutrition major, and here are tips to keep yourself safe and hide your eating habits that actually make sense. this will not be in any particular order, but

avoid ketosis. i know, i know, you heard it burns fat faster! it also makes you smell like a dog rolled in sharpies and makes you stupid. i'm not kidding, you will be slow as fuck. avoid keto at all costs, carbs are better and healthier than being caught and dumb

take electrolytes and pay close attention to your potassium intake. if you neglect this, you will damage your heart and muscles and run the risk of having a heart attack. i use liquid IV because I have POTS and need the extra sodium, but that brand is also good for ED-havers because it has extra b vitamins

take ultra strength prenatal vitamins. they contain extra folate, fish oil, and dha, all of which are necessary to protect your heart and brain when you're not intaking much food.

For other supplements, I recommend Metamucil to keep your bowels going, iron, vitamin c packets (will make the iron absorb better, I personally use the +immunity ones), b-complex, calcium-magnesium-zinc, and vitamin d. Make sure the b-complex contains b-12. Feel free to send me an ask or dm me for dosages because some of these will depend on where you live geographically or what food you are eating.

find a protein shake you like. I'm a muscle milk bitch personally, but fairlife, premier, etc, are all good. make sure it isn't a meal replacement shake, and make sure it contains at least 20g of protein. these contain vitamins beyond protein that will help you stay healthy. the protein will also keep you full. i recommend using it as milk in coffee because the coffee will also suppress hunger and act as a mild laxative without harming the bowels. don't take your iron along with this, as dairy will hinder the absorption of iron.

don't take laxatives. you're going to give yourself IBD. maybe once a month as an extra cleanout you can do a little miralax, but the natural route is always better. regularly drink coffee and drink specifically senna green tea, they're both natural laxatives. the metamucil i recommend will also keep you going. if you need a bigger laxative effect, blend a whole peeled and seeded orange, a few inches of peeled fresh ginger, juice from a whole lemon, add a tsp each of cracked black pepper and turmeric, blend with coconut water until it's a thin smoothie consistency. drink that, you'll be good.

the best thing you can do for yourself is hide your behaviors behind health food gym girlie orthorexic behaviors. nobody takes orthorexia seriously and they encourage those behaviors. you can cut out whatever the hell you want if you're crunchy and healthy about it.

don't go too crazy about it. old tips would tell you to act like you loved food and it's really obvious. being obsessed with food and cooking is weird and obvious. don't talk about food constantly and make it your whole personality to try to hide, it's bizarre and one of the signs they tell parents to look out for. you have to be nonchalant. food is whatever. you like it, you have favorite meals, but you get tired of tastes quickly, you're picky about textures, you don't like it once it gets cold, etc. it's just fuel and it's meaningless to you. you eat for your health, not for pleasure.

high impact workouts like HIIT and running may not be the best idea. some studies show that high impact exercise stimulates hunger hormones in some individuals. pilates, ballet, and yoga are low impact, high results, and give a very desirable aesthetic. they're also quiet and can be done with a yoga mat and maybe a theraband.

get a job. get a hobby. join a sport. being out of your house as much as possible gives you the largest opportunity for excuses. oh my job catered lunch, oh there were snacks at practice, oh so and so brought something to the knitting circle. this can also be an opportunity to earn or save money (or swindle your mom out of cash by obtaining money for concessions at games and then only getting a diet coke)

if you control your own food, maximize your nutrition. salmon, tuna, sardines. kale, chard, spinach. beans, lentils. berries. protein pasta. pasture raised eggs. the fancy filtered fairlife milk. your body will hold out so much longer if you're keeping it fueled with proper vitamins and minerals.

track your food using cronometer - if someone sees it on your phone and asks, you have a perfect built-in excuse. oh, you don't care about the calories, but it tracks vitamin and mineral intake, and you're trying to make sure you're getting enough of those because you have, say, an iron deficiency or you're worried you're not getting enough omega-3s.

anorexic hair is really obvious. it's from malnutrition and stress. absolutely ensure you're getting enough omega-3s and other fats in your diet (avocados, eggs, oily fish, nuts like walnuts) to avoid the anorexia hair and the sallow, dry skin. this is also why i insist you take vitamin d, iron, vitamin c, a b-complex, and a pre-natal with folate and dha, those will also protect your hair and skin health. also make sure you're trimming dead ends, get a deep conditioner and/or bond repair treatment, do scalp massages, and if it does fall out, start using a mousse for volume and get a cut to maximize volume to hide it.

keep up your oral, skin, and nail health, too. these can also be obvious indicators. if you're taking the vitamins and keeping to the foods i'm recommending, it'll help, but make sure you're brushing and flossing, use the nasty brown listerine, a good dry skin lotion like curel, and a nail oil. keep your nails short if they start peeling, but if they're peeling, you need to take more vitamin d and iron, or you could have celiac disease.

there's no such thing as a broken metabolism, and you can't boost or slow down your metabolism. those are myths. the only way to make your bmr higher is to have more muscle.

extra tip: if you start fainting, tell people you have or think you have POTS. work smarter not harder.

has anyone mentioned the "ana" and "mia" nametags here lmfao

Well that and like. The ability to eat consistent healthy meals. Or jump rope. Or make chili.

I would be so powerful if I could come up with puns. It’s the one skill I currently lack.

i love spending my evenings staring at myself in the mirror and repeating "you're not fucking fat, you're not fucking fat" over and over because about three too many people i'm literally related to made offhand comments about my body and my weight and my fucking calorie intake in the span of one day!!

thank you diet Pepsi <3

Wlw whenever you get the chance, we just, need, wholesome charming sibling headcanons. I need it. The fandom always puts daring and dexter/argent and just, we need wholesome

YOUVE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE. *opens my jacket like a dealer* would you like some soft/kind of angsty charming siblings headcanons?

tw // ed

- when daring started recovering from his ed, darling and dexter would stay with him until he fell asleep

- darling was really scared to tell their parents that she was snow white’s princess charming but dare and dex were with her the whole time and made sure that angelique and dashing didn’t pull anything

- the three of them have movie nights and every time daring gets jump scared by whatever movie it is and throws his popcorn. he somehow got jumpscared during frozen.

- when they play videogames, darling always wins. especially mariokart. dexter has tried hacking the game to win in his favour but somehow it made darling win even quicker. daring is so in last place, that darling passes by him.

- they don’t sleep very well so when they’re all awake past 12 am, they go out and drink on the roof and talk about life and stuff

- when one of them is in a really bad spot, they stay with each other until they pass out.

- darling was extremely scared when she was at prep school because she was so used to having her brothers around and it was hard to live without them. they facetimed practically every day

- they do facials/spa days together. this entails all three of them doing mud masks, painting their nails and watching a cheesy sitcom while they drink and talk shit. these usually happen after one of them has an altercation with their parents.

- when lance started going at daring for his ed, darling and dexter *almost* killed him. they had plans and weapons ready but dare told them that he was fine. (he wasn’t but they backed off. they did however threaten lance and told him that if he ever said anything about daring again they’d kill him)

- daring and darling were dexter’s wingmen to ask out raven (she was confused as to why daring and darling were dressed like the fbi and standing around dexter like bodyguards but again. this was daring and darling)

- darling was a lil nervous to ask out apple after the whole “waking up your brother’s girlfriend and getting his destiny and also getting your happily ever after” thing, but daring and dexter (with some help from briar and ashlynn) set up a whole picnic in the woods and helped darling ask out apple. (she obviously said yes)

- they all know each other’s starbucks order by heart. (daring: iced peach green tea ; dexter: iced salted caramel mocha ; darling: iced americano)

- they’re all shit at board games but whenever they play, it gets violent. dexter cheats, darling tries to stab people and daring flips the table. it is not fun, yet they convince themselves that they can play board games together without fighting every time.

- darling hates her hair because it’s one of angelique’s favourite part about her. she has their grand-mère’s natural platinum hair. one day darling decides “fuck it, i hate this” and enlists daring and dexter to help her dye her hair pastel blue. angelique never let her dye it before (those pink and blue strips were temporary) and she was sick of letting their mother win. daring is shit at dying hair, and dexter is slightly better but not by much. they end up facetiming raven and she walks them through it.

- daring, dexter and darling all have matching sets of armour. they don’t use them but they all have a set.

- when darling was sent to prep school, daring gave her his favourite sword, dexter gave her his favourite book and she gave them each a half of her favourite hairpin. to this day they all still have those items.

my answer will be under the cut as well (I couldn't write that long answer haha), but I do have to clarify in the beginning that I'm not a doctor or something, so this is just what I think I would do in a similar situation

tw: eating disorder

I don't know what your exact "goal" with weight is, at some parts it seemed like you want to lose weight, at some others it seemed like the loss of appetite is worrying you... which can absolutely coexist of course, and here goes what I want to say:

I haven't heard about this Zoloft before, apparently it's an antidepressant. even if losing appetite was listed as a symptom, I don't think it should be ignored (two weeks seems an awful lot for a side effect to last, or at least to me - I haven't had any meds with serious side effects yet). if you can trust your doctor with it (because I know there are some assholes out there with a Dr. before their name...), I think you should tell her about it. maybe you could switch to another kind of antidepressant which doesn't have / has less serious side effects (only if switching to another one doesn't make you uncomfortable, of course)

about the weight loss thing itself, again, I don't know what you want to do about your weight (and you absolutely don't have to share if you don't want to). but, anything you want to do with your weight should be connected to your eating and moving (?). even if you want to lose weight, I'm about 100% sure starving yourself isn't the right way to do it; you don't even necessarily have to eat less. there are many types of diets and special eating methods (?) that you can choose from. yes, it takes time to browse through them all and the one that you think you like might not even be available to you because (bad example): it would require you to eat pineapple every day, but you live in the Arctic; but it's still worth in the end. you don't need to starve yourself, you need food even if you want to lose weight. (also, important note that as much as you shouldn't starve yourself, you shouldn't stuff yourself either. for very different reasons, but I had a short period where I didn't want to eat much, but I tried to notice when I started feeling "enough" and what felt like "too much", and eat an amount somewhere in between these two. no need to eat until you're sick of it)

so yeah, all in all, I think it would be good if you talked with your doctor (maybe even through the phone, if that's okay with both of you - the longer you keep losing weight, the more serious it can become later on), because the side effects you mentioned are kind of worrying to me :c and if you want to lose weight, but differently, it could be helpful to look after some kind of diet (maybe even with the help of a dietetic - if there's one available)

aaaaaaand also again, I'm not a doctor at all, I just tried to imagine myself into your situation and think about what might be helpful, I hope I could help <3

[the two (?)s are because I'm not sure I used the right word, I'm sorry if I didn't make sense :D also, I'll tag this post with your tags as well, so people can avoid it if it triggers them]

ed rant under the cut bc this might trigger ppl and i dont want that :(

i started zoloft two weeks ago, i'm on the lowest dose and most of the side effects have worn off (still getting headaches most days, some dizziness, the fatigue and sleepiness is subsiding which iam v grateful for bc dealing with that on top of chronic fatigue wasn't easy)

but like..... i'm absolutely not hungry. i don't feel the need to eat and i'm content with very small portions. i know loss of appetite and nausea are possible side effects, but i wasn't expecting it to hit this hard dfherh. i dont have much nausea, but mostly i can't eat before noon, all i have is water and coffee, and trying to eat just makes me lowkey nauseous. it's triggering some good ol ed thinking patterns, and i kinda hope i can stay on this medication once i see my doctor again. smh. because i'll keep losing weight. so far i'm down 40 lbs since august 2020, and i want to lose maybe another 15 lbs. i don't have a scale and only get weighted every 3 months, when i get my birth control injection, so that's at least? helping me not spiral too much?

when i saw my doctor in april, my doctor wanted to send me in for a psych eval, because yes i was seeing her for anxiety symptoms, but i also have depression and psychotic symptoms. so there was talk about maybe switching out medications after we have a proper diagnosis, and she talked of seroquel to really target all my symptoms including the psychosis. i'm terrified because weight gain is a side effect, and i really don't want to go back.

i dont know. there's a lot going on in my head and i'm trying my best to eat at least a bit to keep me going, but this whole loss of appetite is really triggering and i'm leaning into it to restrict, even tho i can't do as much being chronically ill now, i become weak very fast if i try to fast :(

that's all rgihrtgi if you've read this thank u, idk if anyone will do anyway. i feel too self conscious about this to properly journal about it. probably will write armin fanfics bc this is how i cope

SORRY FOR THE VERY PERSONAL COMIC!!

This is my half of “Unhealthy”, an essay comic double header with the lovely and talented Sarah Winifred Searle. She and I both wrote about our personal experiences as overweight ladies with eating disorders, and her story is breathtaking! You can buy a physical copy of the book here: https://topatoco.com/collections/abby-howard/products/ah-unhealthy

Or buy a digital PDF here: https://abbyhoward.itch.io/unhealthy