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Audhd - Blog Posts
hey so 21-92% of autistic people who menstruate also have pmdd, and I think more people need to know of that (coming from an autistic transguy who also has pmdd, and had no idea of this until their then undiagnosed pmdd drove them to a breaking point)
filling out these because my sensory issues are not letting me sleep. ignore that im late and doing 14 days in one post
below read more bc long
April 1st: Do you have trouble recognizing emotions in either yourself or other people? Do you ever find it hard to tell how you're feeling or even to describe how you're feeling to other people? Have you ever had trouble properly expressing your feelings? Do you have trouble recognizing what other people are feeling? How does this make life difficult for you, if it does?
I can't really differentiate emotions besides them being positive and negative. Like I know when im upset and I know when im happy and that's about it. Others are similar, I can tell when they're upset and when they're happy but I can't make out specifics in emotions. I don't understand emotions either, I've never been able to "put myself in someone else's shoes." I try my best to comfort people, but it makes it very difficult, because I can't empathize in a typical way. Describing emotions I'm alright at according to my therapist, but that's really only after lots of psychology research and being a writer since I was four.
April 2nd: Dependence. How independent are you? Are you able to live alone? Have a caretaker? Live with a relative? Is there anything you need help with in your daily life? If you live alone, does being autistic make anything about it more difficult? Do you wish you lived with someone?
Okay, so im a teenager, so, by default I can't live alone. I'm somewhat dependent. I can do all bADLS, but it takes a lot of reminders as I often forget to do them. I struggle heavily or am unable to do iADLS but I blame that on me not being taught how to do them. I think I could be independent if I was given the right tools to be independent.
April 3rd: Talk about family. How are your relationships with your family members? Are they generally supportive of you as an autistic person? Are they accommodating to your needs? Does being autistic affect your familial relationships in any meaningful way?
I have a bad relationship with my mom but it's unrelated to my autism. My mom, my dad, and my brother are mostly understanding and supportive. My mom is also autistic so that helps me. My needs are not accommodated by them exactly, as my mom doesn't really let me advocate for myself, but my dad tries his best to get my mom to get me have a say in things.
April 4th: What are your current special interests if you have any? What are some positive ways having special interests have affected your life? What are some negative ways that they have affected your life? How long do they tend to last for you? You could even talk about past special interests if you want.
Writing, humans, computer science, natural disasters, healthcare, musical theatre, birds, alien stage, psychological horror, and anime.
April 5th: What are some ways that the neurotypical people in your life can help you specifically with the challenges you face as an autistic person? Ways they can accommodate you? How can neurotypical people help the autistic community as a whole?
Just be patient with me, please. I don't like it when im unable to talk either, I don't like it when I yell either, I don't like it when I'm accidentally rude either. People getting upset at me when my autism causes me to be in distress makes the distress worse, so please, just be patient. My individual needs are too large for me to list here, and ngl I don't feel comfortable putting that online, and no way in hell im gonna speak for the whole autistic community. I'm a low support needs afab white teenager, I can't understand what it's like to have any other kind of autism then my own.
April 6th: Talk about miscommunication. As autistic people communicating is something that is harder for us than neurotypical people, in what ways is communicating generally hard for you? Talk about how being autistic has led to an instance of miscommunication in the past. Talk about social blunders that you've made due to autism. Perhaps a situation where you misinterpreted something or where you said the wrong/insensitive thing.
I'm gonna steal the term my (also autistic) theatre teacher used, "Resting autism tone." I have resting autism tone so I seem rude a lot when im trying to be nice, because I am insanely monotone. I also have situational mutism and a stutter, so talking sucks sometimes. I use TTS at times and that helps me a lot. But even when typing, it's hard. I rely heavily on tone tags. I don't understand social cues at all so that causes a lot of miscommunications too.
April 7th: Have you had people treat you differently after you told them you were autistic? In what ways? How did you feel about it and what did you do?
Yeah. Sometimes it's infantilization and/or weird looks, but sometimes it's a "that makes sense" and then they treat me differently to accommodate me. That one's nice. The infantilization sucks. I'm not a little kid, me being autistic and a minor does not make me incapable, stop treating me like I am.
April 8th: Are you a creative person? What are the types of things you create? Do you think being autistic has any influence over the types of things you create or your creativity in general?
I'm an artist and a writer, and have been my entire life. It's helped me work through a lot of my problems caused by being autistic, because I don't understand my own problems, but I understand the ones of my characters. My autism influences my art and writing in so many ways because it's integral to who I am and I put a bit of myself in every single character I create. Also I have comorbid dyspraxia, so that affects my art.
April 9th: Do you struggle with mental health? Does being autistic affect your struggle with mental health? Do you have depression or anxiety and is it influenced by being autistic?
Yeah, I've got a lot of mental health issues. Depression, anxiety, addiction, ocd, pmdd, and ptsd. I may also have BPD but too young to say for sure. I won't get into the details of my mental health issues as it could be triggering, and also it's not something i want the whole world to know, but it's severe. You can blame autism comorbidities and a bad homelife for that. My therapist says that's the cause at least.
April 10th: Do you struggle with keeping up with physical health? Does being autistic affect it?
Yep. Literally procrastinating on getting medicine right now because I'm nervous about accidentally waking someone. I have a hard time with bADLS without reminders, as priorly mentioned. I have heart issues caused by dehydration because of it. PDA and comorbid OCD w/ an avoidance compulsion is a shit combo.
April 11th: What are some things that might come easy to neurotypical people, but which you either can't do or need help to do?
Cooking, cleaning, laundry, all sorts of chores, managing money, remembering basic self care, taking medications, tying my shoes, crochet, any sort of fine motor task tbh
April 12th: What are some social rules that you don't understand? Talk about it.
GENDER. My dad has explained to me why we have the social rule of gender like multiple times and I still hate it. WHY?? WHY DO WE HAVE TO BE IN A GENDER BOX?? Also why is me using a lot of punctuation considered rude. It adds whimsy. Let me live.
April 13th: Are you able to pick up when someone is flirting with you or alternatively when someone is flirting with someone else? Do you know how to flirt?
Yeah. I mean I have a BF, and I can tell when he flirts with me. I can flirt well but usually don't. I should flirt with my BF more-
April 14th: What are some of the most difficult aspects of being autistic to you? What makes it difficult? Talk about it.
Sensory issues. I hate constantly being overwhelmed by the smallest abnormality in senses. Actually, no, the worst part is the meltdowns. I have autistic meltdowns where I scream and cry and flail around and throw things and have no control over my actions, and it's scary. My mind is there, I know what I'm doing, but my body and mouth move on it's own. I hate it so much. Also the not being able to fit in like ever sucks.
Alright, that's all, I think. I'm gonna go take some medication for this fever I'm probably running then try to sleep. Thanks for reading :)
I got a new canopy :) this totally isn't an excuse to show off my favorite stuffed animals that I keep close to me when I sleep bc one of my special interests is plushies haha what. (Also musicals is one for me too and playbill blanket.) Shoutout to my lovely husband for crocheting me the bee that's pictured :]
doing all my homework in a few hour period that I was supposed to be working on over the past 3 weeks then letting myself engage in my hyperfixation as a little treat
One of my stims is spinning and I stimmed so hard I fell down and sprained my ankle. Why am I like this 💔
any other neurodivergent (mainly autism and/or adhd) people unable to consume content normally.
like my dad will just?? watch something and be like "yeah that was good" then move on?? And then there's me, who will consume something, stare at a wall for a bit, and then rapidly try to consume any content I can find of it. Fanart, fanfiction, c.ai bots, memes, youtube videos... and if I can't find any I get upset. And I rewatch/reread/etc it over and over again and obsess over it for days. It's not even a hyperfixation rn I am just unable to consume media normally
also why am I the only posts on the raining knives tag since 2020 where is the fandom this comic deserves a fandom wtf it's so good I need content of it pls my little audhd brain cannot /silly
is it normal to feel antsy and excited to get on adhd medication finally after years of struggling so badly with it. like omg im going to be able to function omg i hope it works
adhd executive dysfunction sucks bcuz im just sitting there and my brain is like
YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME
no work done no rest gained. literally no point of this at all
(to everyone who reblogged, donate and share @olagaza's initiative!)
the neurodivergent experience:
20% of the time: wowwieee!!! i love my passions and interests!!!!! they make me so happy i want to jump up and down!!!!! weee!!!!!!! :3333333333
80% of the time: this mind is a prison
My doctor and therapist: now with this autism + ADHD diagnosis you need to learn to unmask because masking all the time will make you burn out again and feel like shit
Other people: well it's just interesting how after getting the diagnosis you suddenly start behaving like that I mean I'm not saying you're faking it's just funny how you suddenly cannot be normal like you were before
I HATE BEING AUTISTIC Σヽ(ﾟДﾟ; )ﾉ
the neurodivergent experience:
20% of the time: wowwieee!!! i love my passions and interests!!!!! they make me so happy i want to jump up and down!!!!! weee!!!!!!! :3333333333
80% of the time: this mind is a prison
AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
My doctor and therapist: now with this autism + ADHD diagnosis you need to learn to unmask because masking all the time will make you burn out again and feel like shit
Other people: well it's just interesting how after getting the diagnosis you suddenly start behaving like that I mean I'm not saying you're faking it's just funny how you suddenly cannot be normal like you were before
the neurodivergent experience:
20% of the time: wowwieee!!! i love my passions and interests!!!!! they make me so happy i want to jump up and down!!!!! weee!!!!!!! :3333333333
80% of the time: this mind is a prison
As someone with Autism and ADHD, I can agree. Or maybe that’s projection. With or without it, he gives the vibes.
SOOO...we can finally agree that Ink's AuDHD right??
Ty for the tag <2
1) my creativity!!! I love creating art so so much and it's so much fun. I love helping others come up with ideas, i love getting inspired by others or inspiring them! I love how i always have new ideas and i never run out of things to make! I love love love creating things so much and i hope i can do it for the rest of my life!
2) My love for learning new things!! I love it so so much. I'm like a sponge soaking up knowledge and although others seem a bit put off by me dropping fun facts no matter what the topic is of conversation is or ranting for hours about the most random and obscure things, i absolutely my love for learning! I love my ability to connect my knowledge and connect different topics. I love discussing them with others. I love that even though i have pretty severe memory issues, my interests seem to be the one thing i do remember! I also love how broad my interests are. (credit to my adhd/autism for making me hyperfixate on the most random shit LMFAO)
3) my hair! Idk whether this counts, since it's dyed, but i absolutely love the blue color!! And my haircut :D its so pretty! Also shoutout to my natural hair for surviving all the bleach <2 i unironically love how it's still alive bc i always forget to use conditioner wifhskej
@amethystfairy1 @livinggold @cursedtime @clowneval @queryforthesoul @appleblocks @justsofiaaaa @wimblton475 @sailorque and anyone else who wants to reblogg :D
AIGHT CHAT WE'RE GONNA GO IN A CIRCLE AND SAY 3 THINGS WE LOVE ABOUT OURSELVES MEOW
I'll go first :3
1) My hair. It's a dark brown most of the time but there are little flecks of red that shine in the sun :3
2) My eyes. Most of the time they're a brown-black color, but in the sun they turn a very nice and pretty amber ^w^
3) My thighs. I know most people hate having large thighs but I honestly love them. I can stim on them, I can use them to warm up my hands, and they make it easier to trap my partners in snuggles >:3
Have a nice day and stay safe out there <3
hyperfixation please stay with me long enough to complete the project. hyperfixation do not fade. hyperfixation finish what you started for the love of god
Work reviews are so fun, it's all "your skills are all really good, you're progressing really fast, good work." And then they get to the attitude part and, "you have good days and bad days... When you have bad days you tend to be a bit coarse and cold. We have to fight a bit to get you to take direction, you need to understand that you aren't in trouble if you need help with something." Somehow, that all ends up knocking you on your ass faster than any therapy session has, and wow! I do, in fact, worry that everyone is mad when I don't know something! My ADHD and all the heavy hormonal fluctuations that come with it, is in fact a disability that I should get help with!
And then you almost cry in front of you manager and it isn't cool.
For any fellow peoples of the autisim who find they have no one to info dump with, I'm here. I'll listen and respond and try to learn about what you, now we, find interesting. Dw if you think it'll be annoying or burdening, if I thought that then I wouldn't have asked; just let yourself talk and lemme hear all about that shit please
the bitch pretending to be my mother denying my autism around her friends is my favorite animal ☀️
Being insane but cognitively aware of how insane you are is a special kind of hell because you know that you aren't normal and you can pinpoint the behaviors that label you as other and make people kinda go quiet and twitchy around you but you can't change them or your neurosis so you're stuck in a brutal cycle of trying to emulate normal people and failing horribly cus you know in theory how normal people look and act but in practice you can never change what you are and everyone else knows it too and this goes on forever until you die
Hey. Your brain needs to de-frag. Literally it needs you to sit there and space out.
If you want your memory or executive function to improve, stare out a window at the skyline or sidewalk or trees or birds on the electrical wires for like 20+ minutes per day. (With no other stimulation like a podcast or TV if you can manage but hey baby steps innit). If you're fortunate enough to have safe outside with any bits of nature, go stare closely at a 1 meter square of grass and trip out on the bugs and shapes of grasses and stuff.
Literally this will make you smarter. Our brains HAVE TO HAVE this zone out time to do important stuff behind the scenes. This does not happen during sleep, it's something else.
That weird pressurized feeling you get sometimes might be your brain on no defrag.
Give your brain a Daily Dose Of De-Frag.
every piece of ""autistic representation"" in hollywood sucks not just because of the infantalization and inspiration porn but because movie executives always fail to realize the real universal autistic experience: spending your childhood slowly and unfalteringly realizing all of your friends not so secretly hated and/or merely tolerated you at best and you've missed every social signal about it ever
I saw some snippet of a callout post for an autistic trans woman where they list social faux pas she committed, and I think we allistic people should all feel 100x more ashamed of not telling people in the moment how we feel about what they're doing. I think its extremely evil and cruel to not only lie to an autistic person and blame them for it but also to feel justified shaming them for your behavior. And it's currently the social norm to do that
Not to go "if you have ADHD just go for a run" or anything, but I am so serious if you have ADHD you should regularly go outside, no headphones no phone no nothing and just stand and observe for a while until you've had enough. Not until you get bored, until you've had enough. Drink your coffee without watching tiktok. Have a bath without music. Turn down the volume in your headphones. I cannot overstate how much learning to be bored is cruicial with ADHD. Life is not just about pleasure, no matter what your dysregulated dopamine system thinks, and when you teach your brain to be okay with being bored, then boring tasks stop feeling like torture. By letting yourself be bored you are yoinking your system out of the high/low binary and allow for the highs to feel like actual highs and not just anything that isn't low. I am so serious go literally touch grass. Listen to the sounds in your flat. Stimulate your body the way it was designed. It lowers anxiety and makes you feel like you're real and best of all it's completely free
By the way, you can improve your executive function. You can literally build it like a muscle.
Yes, even if you're neurodivergent. I don't have ADHD, but it is allegedly a thing with ADHD as well. And I am autistic, and after a bunch of nerve damage (severe enough that I was basically housebound for 6 months), I had to completely rebuild my ability to get my brain to Do Things from what felt like nearly scratch.
This is specifically from ADDitude magazine, so written specifically for ADHD (and while focused in large part on kids, also definitely includes adults and adult activities):
Here's a link on this for autism (though as an editor wow did that title need an editor lol):
Resources on this aren't great because they're mainly aimed at neurotypical therapists or parents of neurdivergent children. There's worksheets you can do that help a lot too or thought work you can do to sort of build the neuro-infrastructure for tasks.
But a lot of the stuff is just like. fun. Pulling from both the first article and my own experience:
Play games or video games where you have to make a lot of decisions. Literally go make a ton of picrews or do online dress-up dolls if you like. It helped me.
Art, especially forms of art that require patience, planning ahead, or in contrast improvisation
Listening to longform storytelling without visuals, e.g. just listening regularly to audiobooks or narrative podcasts, etc.
Meditation
Martial arts
Sports in general
Board games like chess or Catan (I actually found a big list of what board games are good for building what executive functioning skills here)
Woodworking
Cooking
If you're bad at time management play games or video games with a bunch of timers
Things can be easier. You might always have a disability around this (I certainly always will), but it can be easier. You do not have to be this stuck forever.