Disordered Eating Mention - Blog Posts

Imagine a magical modern world where everyones ability is to manifest their personality/mental state/subconscious into a physical thing, and scientists find that theres a pattern within manifestations that allows doctors to diagnose people with a simple examination of their manifestation.

Trigger warning

And everything im about to list off would be traits if their abilities, not the actual abilities themselves

They stack, but are as powerful as the impact they have on the user

Narcs' manifestation would probably have something to do with themselves, or having themselves as the center

DID would probs be the ability to manifest multiple small/weak/incomplete symbolic (or not) things representing their alters or a single materialization of something cracked/split (necromancer except they bring to life their alters)

Id imagine depression would involve an ability with the perk to draw people in, like a siren

Anxiety would involve something to do with an unnerving type sensation, sounds, vibrations, disruptions, the sense of slowed or sped up time

Bipolar, a changing, fast, or sudden type ability

Ptsd/cptsd would probably have a flashing, sudden, or jarring type ability

Schizophrenia would be hallucinogenic, (that one spiderman scene from homecoming with that bastard man showing spidey things that arent real), aoe tyoe ability

Ocd maybe would have something to do with controllingness, intrusive/invasive actions (the itrusive thoughts in ocd becomes the premise of what happens to who ever their using their ability against? Idk ocd that well)

Phobias - depending on the phobia, the way you'd deal with what your afraid of being your ability. Arachnophobia - your ability being pest amd spider resiliant, agoraphobia - your ability having something to do with being able to hide somewhere safe that youve made (small portable inner world? Invisibility??)

ED; makes the person feel the opposite of their disorder (if the user has binge eating issues, then their power would make others feel empty/hungry/hollow; anorexia or restrictive would be like overwhelming the sense with a feeling of fullness, stuffiness, claustrophobia; etc)

Disassociative having something to do with an incredible europhoric/dream feeling or with an incredibly grounding, kind of like "oh yea i just remembered my entire life situation and cant escape" type feeling

ADHD either has something to do with the inability to have others activate their powers, control them well, or consistantly.

Addiction/substance abuse would be kind of like the helplessness, constant incessant need for something, anxiety, etc

HEY YALLL IM BACK FR YHIS TIME AYY im so fat rn I gained all the weight back so im gonna be back on track rn im 57.2 kg (disgusting) but anyways yes im gonna lose 7kg and starve until Sunday so ya

Hello guys I’m back 🙏🙏 finally I’ve been eating like a pig lately I’m like 55.9kg rn how do I lose 5 kg in 3DAYS 😭😭 anyways fr im back 😈😈

Hi guys sorry for being a big fat liar and not being active i promise ill try to be more active anyways i got 25 days to lock in before school bro

Jusy want to say the hunger gets easier to ignore. I can now go a whole day with out eating and it's easy for me. Now I drink plenty of water, Zero cal tea and nap alot. Also watching YouTube keeps me from snacking.

This is great!

So I broke my 24 hr fast today but.... I definitely stayed under 1000 calories and that makes me happy 😊

I'm down to more 2 more lbs today!! That makes for a total 9lb weight loss. So yes I AM losing weight! My coworker was right!

I guess my fasting is paying off. And all I do I just don't like food. That's all I do. I'm starting to absolutely despise food. It's gross and makes me feel bloated and fat. Ugh

But 9lbs is NOT ENOUGH. I'm aiming for 40lbs ugh 😑. The scale can't move fast enough but I know it's best if I just be patient and wait

Today I am going to fast once again for 24 hrs. All I will allow myself to have is water, some vitamins and a nice hot shower. And I get to binge watch YouTube!

My fast will start at 7am and ends at 7am tomorrow morning. When I go home tomorrow morning I'll have soup and some veggies.

The clock starts now!!!!

Things are gonna start getting tight around here-

This is my plan to lose weight-

I will eat only what is on my safe food list

I will eat no more than 500 to 600 calories per day - I mean it this time

I will take a multivitamin and eat some protein powder

I will drink lots of water

I will not worry about the pain of being hungry as hunger just means I'm losing weight. And it means I'm burning fat

I will stay away from my trigger foods

I will purge if I eat to much food or if I go over my calorie intake

I will distract my self if I'm hungry. I want to lose weight.

I'm gonna weigh myself daily as well when I wake up from my nap

My coworker said it looks like I'm loosing weight!! She said my tummy and back are looking a little smaller. I didn't know 7lbs was enough for people to start noticing. Then again me and them work like 10 and half hours with each other in a small room. But I'm proud never the less.

Things are gonna start getting tight around here. I'm gonna really restrict my food intake as I really want to keep losing weight. I donot care how I get there. All I know if I have to lose 40lbs as fast as possible.

Tonight I broke my diet and I ended up purging. I feel numb and empty. I haven't purged since I was 19 years old. I'm 23 now. I purged up so much my head aches and I the trash bag I used weighed so much. All I kept thinking was that I WILL get these 40lbs off of me. I will, I will and I will.

I played some of my favorite music to ease my anxiety while purging. I feel awkward 😕 I can't believe I'm purging again....

NEW UPDATED SAFE FOOD LIST

Tea

Coffee

Splenda

Fruit

Vegtables

Pop corn

Zero sugar torani coffee syrup (0 cal)

Diet soda

Diet energy drinks

Soy milk

Eggs whites (only 18 calories)

Zero sugar coffee creamer 15 calories per table spoon

When I go home I'm gonna throw away all the foods I shouldn't be eating. The fatty chicken, the oatmeal, pasta. And what else I'm not supposed to have.

I WILL GET THINNER. I don't care HOW I get there but I will get there. Fuck being obese

I fasted all the way untill supper. I drank some tea, slept, and went up to the roof and listened to a podcast by shrouded head and binge watched YouTube. It's not even dinner time yet. It's 6pm and I'll tidy up by 7pm and shower then I'll start on dinner around 8pm. The sky is nice and gloomy this evening and I feel so lonely, dispaired and hopeless... I wonder if ill ever not be lonely someday?

Recently I have fasted for a full 24 hrs - after that I gave in and rapidly ate some pizza (again) so I had a horrible stumach ache, gas and bloating. I feel terrible as I lack will power and self control. So today will be different. I'm gonna be good and fast untill supper time (let's see how long my will power will last)

Oh and the scale is down 4 more lbs so I'm doing good losing weight but I fear it's not fast enough. Oh well I'll just have to be patient and take the best of what I can get.

Fuck today is gonna be rough. I'm already feeling shaky and nausea due to the fatty sugary foods I ate. I'm also starting to realize that I don't deserve kindness as fat whore. I should be grateful for whatever kindness someone does to me and having sex is a luxury for me. It's a miracle anybody really wants me.... but I know I can redeem myself through fasting and food restriction.

Well I fasted for one day and it went pretty well. I went to work as usual then got home and got some rest. I got called into to work so that helped as well. I don't want to give in and order pizza like last time again. I want to continue to lose weight. So far I'm down 7lbs from where I started (no I'm not posting body stats there's pervs on here )

And ways thinking about going on another fast soon as my first day was a success. Surprised to step on the scale and be down 7lbs. I'm tempted to eat but I know that's not the right thing to do. Pretty soon I'm gonna purchase myself some protein powder to put in my iced coffee (gross I know but I NEED protein to stay full)

My goal in life would be to survive on 500 calories max. Which is something I'm working towards....

Im going to eat omad and give myself a healthy 800 to 1,000 calorie meal full of whole grain like rice or oats, veggies, fruit and protein 😋. I will eat my omad at work at 12am- and i will fast for the rest of the day. Which would be a lot more realistic than eating 500 cal a day.

I also need to fast at least twice a week where i go a whole day with out food. On days i fast i will drink lots of 0 cal tea and lots of water and vitamins. I wont do a fast 2 days in a row ill separate them by one day - so fast friday then break with omad sat then fast sunday

Reasons why im losing weight-

- So i can have better boyfriend(s)

- So i will be a gothic beauty

- so my knees wont ache (thats lame)

- it will be cheaper to purchase food

- i will be a "good girl" if i so lose weight

- i will be able to run

- i will be able to stand for a long time at concerts

- i will be considered cute for not eating so much

- i will be able to fit cute trendy gothic clothes and sweaters

- i can finally be able to go on long walks

- guys will finally stop feeding me fattening food to make me happy they will instead give me love and affection which is something i really need from them not fast food

-

I wish I could survive on as little calories as possible. I long to punish myself for the wrong I've done to my ex, my mother or just anyone really that I have displeased with my presence. I need to punish myself. Only then I'll be a good girl inside and out. I'd say a good number for myself would be 500 calories. I need to punish myself. I CANNOT exists on food. My suffering will be atonement for all my sins.

When eating does anyone else feel like throwing up as soon as the food touches your tongue? Especially when it comes to meat?

I think my dad might be catching on 😔

He’s been making me eat dinner and watching me?

Day two has passed!🥳 2/5 fast

TW: Referenced/Implied self harm

So, these little guys may as well be a parasite, but I have made so many drawings of these guys over the last two days. I'm probably not going to stop any time soon, considering I want to make reference sheets for them to look like if they were actually in the game, so watch out for those soon, I will probably go in order of Coco, Azazel than Drina. But for now, just enjoy the two pages of drawing/doodles I have made of these guys. (Also don't mind the weird creature that looks this hatred from Block Tales next to Azazel)

(Help I sent the original post to the drafts and now I can't find it). Sooooo... I may have fallen into the Forsaken rabbit hole and now I want to rant on my main blog about my OCs. Also, I should probably mention that my OCs are not finished yet, but that's okay! I'll find them some day! And, well, I am reposting these because I originally posted them to communities, but I want to spend the disease of these little guys everywhere. (Also, post 1 was posted to 2 communities while post 2 was only posted to one). Also, this is going to be a very long one, so prepare for no one to read this!

Post 1: Here is some concept art of my OCs! (I know that OCs aren't very commonly found in this group, but I'm going to share these two idiots because I need to spread them to other people.) This is technically a wip, but I'm still going to share it. Also, I do need some help with in-game stuff because I'm stumped. I am going to an info dump because this doesn't really have any info.

The one with a wolf headband and braids is Coco, and they are a survivor. They use they/them pronouns, but they have memory loss, so the other survivors use he/they pronouns for them (which is funny because they have never been a boy). I think they could attack the killer with their axe, but idk what else I want to do. I think I want them to have 3 abilities, but I have no ideas for other 2.

The other OC is Azazel and they are a killer. They use they/them pronouns, but since they also have memory loss, the killers use she/her pronouns. It isn't in the art, but I gave them a weird red spawn looking halo that is coming out of their crooked neck. I imagine they could rip it out to attack a survivor, but maybe they could get bleeding 1 for 3 seconds. And idk for the rest of their abilities, so I need help.

Also, I'm thinking of creating another oc that is a helper. All I have is that they are a girl and she would have probably worked at a bakery before Forsaken but that's all I have so far. And if you have read this far, thank you for listening to my very long info dump!

Post 2: Since it seemed like people liked the last post I made about these silly little guys, I decided to do some more! And I figured out some in-game ideas I have for them!

So, I mentioned an idea for a healer OC, and I made her! As you can see, her name is Drina, and what I have for her so far is that she can give people pies, but how she does it is that you have to click the ability twice on a person because once you set the pie down, it cannot be removed and can only be eaten by the person you clicked on (yes you can click on killers, that's why you have to do it twice so you don't misclick on a killer). I haven't really come up with any lore for her yet, so any ideas would be appreciated! I do think that she would get along pretty well with Elliot, and while not really trusting Coco, would still try and be kind to them. Also, I just want to say that I based her off of Kyoko from Block Tales and I love that about her!

And lastly, Coco! I haven't really thought of anything for them, but I have thought of an idea for 1 of the 2 abilities I want to give them. I'm thinking of a block/parry idea that works very similarly to Guest's block (edit: I forgot to add that I imagine that they would block/parry using their axe). And I love showing how messed up they are in the head! I feel like both of them and 007n7 would relate to each other a lot, because 007n7 isn't trusted by the rest due to him being a former hacker and dad of c00lkid, and Coco isn't really trusted by the rest because they look and kind of act like a killer, so people don't try and get to know the two of them very well; but that doesn't mean that 007n7 isn't also kind of weary of Coco.

Also, some fun facts I feel like I should add. 1: Both Drina and Coco are dark skinned, but because of me drawing in black and white, I keep their skin white in my drawing. 2: I do not intend to do any OC x Canon, specifically because of the fact that 1: both Coco and Azazel are 16, even though they both don't remember that and 2: both Coco and Azazel are aromantic/asexual (Azazel is kind of iffy on that, but I don't really want to get into that rn); and while Drina is an adult and either straight or bisexual, I haven't decided yet, I still don't want to ship her or any of my other OCs with the canon characters. Sorry for rambling again, I just wanted to get this all out while I still have motivation.

(Also, trying out tags for the first time, let's see what happens!)

My brain deciding that solid food is allowed again after restricting me to a liquids-only diet for the last five days for seemingly no reason

Breakfast⭐️

My life is a fucking joke, I just purged like 77cals. And my brother got suspended for 10 days, for buying 10 yarts. One day for each yart ig. LMAOO

My brother takes the worst photos of me, that make me look like the biggest cow ever. (I am, and it’s lowkey meansp0 in it’s own right.)

We are so back.

TW

Not 3@ting enough to the point of p@ssing 0ut and l0w as f*ck bl00d pr3ssur3>>>>>>>>>

pinte suas unhas, não coma

tome banho, não coma

hidrate seu cabelo, não coma

faça skin care, não coma

escove seus dentes, não coma

beba água, não coma

faça exercícios, não coma

tome um chá, não coma

limpe a casa, não coma

leia um livro, não coma

se destraia e não coma

"you can't get rid of it, but you can live with it"

shut up. shut up. shut. up.