Swag - Blog Posts

I'll never understand my father, making fun of my use of the word unconventional??

Dawg.. you dropped out 8th grade I got a higher education 💀

today is worst day, i am off killing myself.

+

our existence and future is predetermined by variables around us.

some things that make you better, and some things that don't.

when I consider that I imagine I should just off myself today.

I got shock figuring out I am 22, not 21 years old. I lost track of time so badly I forgot that. I thought I was 21 and convinced myself. But I actually am 22 now. Wow, last 5 years of my life were hell. In fact, I'd say everything after 12 was already hell. It was empty void. That's why I really hate videogames, why did I spend so much time playing garbage like Dark Souls? Jesus. Uh... Fuck, I am 22 years old, holy shit I am fucked. It's time to think about my future priorities. a month in mental asylum then few years of absolute suffering and misery, anything after 2015 is blurry to me, I feel like I stopped existing as entity. I wasted a lot of time on social media, a lot of time chasing nothingness, things that possess no power in the world.

And now it's actually 2025?! My brain feels like nothing has been happening and I was genuinely rotting away. I am glad I managed to release some of these touhou videos, I am glad I managed to bring churro back. But everything in my spirit feels miserable, it's pretty obvious I am not cutout for humanity's methodology. I haven't made any friends nor any partner, I do not have any form of support at all. Not even one of family. And with my personality, with my way of being, I doubt I'll ever be able to get any. My ego is in shambles and anger as of right now. It's funny right? It's a small detail but if I said 21 it would have made me FEEL as if I accomplished a little of something. By taking a date one year further now it makes me feel like I am REALLY LATE. After all, I took a while to condition myself to the premise of "atmosphere", this is how "things are supposed to be or play out". I feel insignificant today and like the world is jusjt gonna step on me to death and there's nothing I can do. I am people pleaser, because i felt socially forced to act like one. Like that was a means of survival that I half-hazardly accepted while not feeling it in my heart. Now even complaining makes me feel like age is crawling as penalty for speaking words here. Indeed, nobody really cares. It's all fake, people only care about things that cost zero risk. Associating yourself with something weak makes you weak, isn't that right?

So, what will be my priorities for the rest of my life?

I am definitely alone and I am also not strong to defeat the world on my own, I am tired of ironyposting. I am fucking tired of watching shit youtube content. I am tired of social media hijacking my mind (when really i would've preferred living in a tribe than this fucking -technocratic place) well.. 1. I will try to work on churro as much as I can so this site works and I will use my finance to support it. Since I won't ever have a child, I can share it with the site. It can be costly for future servers and for advertising on whenever I can, but it is my genuine goal to both spend my time and money on the site. That said, I cannot do it while also working, because a few hours aren't enough to code any substantial changes or fix bugs. I will work on trying to take a gambit of perfecting the site while NEET at the moment. My second goal is touhouposting, I thought that I will have periods where I upload videos on youtube and continue doing it. Playing videogames might not be good way to spend free time, but nobody really liked me and I don't communicate so I feel this is better efficient way than all these times I tried making friends. I will probably upload touhou videos every 4 days if my time allows it, but I will eventually run out of time to edit.

So, the touhou thing isn't eternal, give it like 5 years maybe max, I hope to end it at 3. They will be published even if I die but they ought to be entertaining videos.

With that said, gym and training play huge role of my daily life. So that also takes a lot of time.

And procrastinating, I gotta talk about the worst. I am bad at dealing with abstract things, they waste my time more than anything. I am already a loser incel the way I am but when I deal with something that doesn't have a clear goal it will be bothering me. I need to manage my time so I spend the LEAST time on things that requrie entertainment over work. This stuff is something that is hard to fight when you got addicted to brainrot.

As for drawing, drawing is genuine effort workoholic example, so I priotize drawing in free time over meaningless conversations with people who only care about themselves anyway + doom feedscrolling (awful i hate it i am not gonna do it anymroe notgonnadoit My life looks pretty shady according to human standard, but I never went to bars or anything like that, in fact maybe its peopel who are shady and they have the majority. So, what do I do after I get churro perfect and upload all vids I wanted? hm....

yep, I'm probably gonna die. I wouldn't know anything anymore, it'd be nice to have son who would manage churro, maybe I can adopt somebody at very late age as ultra-cuck or something, I am getting tired of typing....

Literally my first time drawing a full body human in like, 2 years give or take??

Honestly I don’t even know how I got here but I love her so much-

Her hairstyle!? How did that happen!? And the only reason I haven’t drawn a human in so long is because I can never get their faces right! And she looks amazing!! And her eyes! They look even!! And pretty!!

Anyway, what’s your favorite thing to draw? Why? What is your least favorite thing to draw? What should I name this little lady? I’d love to hear what y’all think! ^^

Lee Chaerin. a.k.a. CL. The Fierce leader of 2NE1. The baddest female seoul city ever had. <3 The Queen of SWAG. ;)

REALLY REALLY old art from like a year ago :c

his name is Cazador, he’s like a disco goat guy🪩🪩🕺🕺

I NEED to make new art of him :b

Here is a Lesbian business woman I decided to draw👍👍

Badass👍👍

My body went without me

Marching through the halls

Doing bad impressions

And answering my calls

C2E2 Day 2! We have some pretty cool items for our Saturday Swag Bag! If you stop by our booth today you can grab a free copy of Rebellion 01. The C2E2 version has a preview of "Days On Edge" featuring Lilith. Our bag also comes with 1 of 5 different wristbands, a poster, a sticker set, and X-Key's "not smiley" button. We will also be sending out Agee of these later to some of our followers as a way of saying thanks for your support! #xkey #artoftheday #teamxvisual #anime #otaku #artist #manga #comics #draw #c2e2 #chicago #free #swag #bag #arte #wristband #poster #illustration #artsy #art #artwork #instaart #wacom #instalike #color #rad #style #colorful #illustration #rainbow

Daniel Sutton (lead web developer and admin for highoctanerevolution.com) at the booth, right before the start of the C2E2. If you are attending and you stop by today you get a free poster of X-Key! #comics #anime #otaku #manga #artist #c2e2 #booth #convention #chicago #illustration #xkey #teamxvisual #rad #instacool #artwork #instalike #instagood #instahub #color #colorful #creative #rainbow #graphics #awesome #style #wacom #free #swag #bag #instafollow