Blog Post - Blog Posts

So I know lots of people are mad about the porn bots following them and their accounts (and you're allowed to feel this way, I'm not demeaning that in the slightest), but in my experience with them, they never have anything explicit on their profiles if anything at all so personally I'm actually okay with it. Of course if they DO have explicit things on their account, I will block them for my own safety since I'm a minor. Idk, this is just my opinion tho.

Yep, that's pretty much it.

I was born almost 20 years ago, And for a good portion of my adolescence any question your standard 7-year-old would have I would obnoxiously ask my family members when they didn't look busy.

It took until I was almost 9 to learn that babies weren't birthed orally. And I only just recently learned that ice does indeed carry bacteria.

i’m debating getting rid of the “i still” part of the “i still bark” shirt i’m working on… now that i’ve doctored the shirt to fit me better, there’s no more room for that many letters ;w;

UPDATE: there’s no words on it at all now LMAOAOA it’s finished tho!! i’ll post a piccy of it tmmrrrr

i have schoolwork to be doing!!! but i love my IZ ocs so much i cant leave them alone for 5 seconds or i'll have withdrawals

when u guys use tumblr do u enter every thought that pops into ur head or do u carefully coordinate ur profile

idk which is the “right” way to tumblr, I WANNA BLURB AND YAP tho

today is worst day, i am off killing myself.

+

our existence and future is predetermined by variables around us.

some things that make you better, and some things that don't.

when I consider that I imagine I should just off myself today.

I got shock figuring out I am 22, not 21 years old. I lost track of time so badly I forgot that. I thought I was 21 and convinced myself. But I actually am 22 now. Wow, last 5 years of my life were hell. In fact, I'd say everything after 12 was already hell. It was empty void. That's why I really hate videogames, why did I spend so much time playing garbage like Dark Souls? Jesus. Uh... Fuck, I am 22 years old, holy shit I am fucked. It's time to think about my future priorities. a month in mental asylum then few years of absolute suffering and misery, anything after 2015 is blurry to me, I feel like I stopped existing as entity. I wasted a lot of time on social media, a lot of time chasing nothingness, things that possess no power in the world.

And now it's actually 2025?! My brain feels like nothing has been happening and I was genuinely rotting away. I am glad I managed to release some of these touhou videos, I am glad I managed to bring churro back. But everything in my spirit feels miserable, it's pretty obvious I am not cutout for humanity's methodology. I haven't made any friends nor any partner, I do not have any form of support at all. Not even one of family. And with my personality, with my way of being, I doubt I'll ever be able to get any. My ego is in shambles and anger as of right now. It's funny right? It's a small detail but if I said 21 it would have made me FEEL as if I accomplished a little of something. By taking a date one year further now it makes me feel like I am REALLY LATE. After all, I took a while to condition myself to the premise of "atmosphere", this is how "things are supposed to be or play out". I feel insignificant today and like the world is jusjt gonna step on me to death and there's nothing I can do. I am people pleaser, because i felt socially forced to act like one. Like that was a means of survival that I half-hazardly accepted while not feeling it in my heart. Now even complaining makes me feel like age is crawling as penalty for speaking words here. Indeed, nobody really cares. It's all fake, people only care about things that cost zero risk. Associating yourself with something weak makes you weak, isn't that right?

So, what will be my priorities for the rest of my life?

I am definitely alone and I am also not strong to defeat the world on my own, I am tired of ironyposting. I am fucking tired of watching shit youtube content. I am tired of social media hijacking my mind (when really i would've preferred living in a tribe than this fucking -technocratic place) well.. 1. I will try to work on churro as much as I can so this site works and I will use my finance to support it. Since I won't ever have a child, I can share it with the site. It can be costly for future servers and for advertising on whenever I can, but it is my genuine goal to both spend my time and money on the site. That said, I cannot do it while also working, because a few hours aren't enough to code any substantial changes or fix bugs. I will work on trying to take a gambit of perfecting the site while NEET at the moment. My second goal is touhouposting, I thought that I will have periods where I upload videos on youtube and continue doing it. Playing videogames might not be good way to spend free time, but nobody really liked me and I don't communicate so I feel this is better efficient way than all these times I tried making friends. I will probably upload touhou videos every 4 days if my time allows it, but I will eventually run out of time to edit.

So, the touhou thing isn't eternal, give it like 5 years maybe max, I hope to end it at 3. They will be published even if I die but they ought to be entertaining videos.

With that said, gym and training play huge role of my daily life. So that also takes a lot of time.

And procrastinating, I gotta talk about the worst. I am bad at dealing with abstract things, they waste my time more than anything. I am already a loser incel the way I am but when I deal with something that doesn't have a clear goal it will be bothering me. I need to manage my time so I spend the LEAST time on things that requrie entertainment over work. This stuff is something that is hard to fight when you got addicted to brainrot.

As for drawing, drawing is genuine effort workoholic example, so I priotize drawing in free time over meaningless conversations with people who only care about themselves anyway + doom feedscrolling (awful i hate it i am not gonna do it anymroe notgonnadoit My life looks pretty shady according to human standard, but I never went to bars or anything like that, in fact maybe its peopel who are shady and they have the majority. So, what do I do after I get churro perfect and upload all vids I wanted? hm....

yep, I'm probably gonna die. I wouldn't know anything anymore, it'd be nice to have son who would manage churro, maybe I can adopt somebody at very late age as ultra-cuck or something, I am getting tired of typing....

ON FICTIONAL ESSAYS, AND WORLDBUILDING

I love writing. That is a truth; one that I will hold onto for probably my whole life.

I really do love writing, especially for my baby. It is a behemoth of a book that I’d started when I was 11, and continued adding onto it until I started actually writing it when I was 17. I have too many ideas—too many headcannons, too many bits of lore that I want to incorporate into my story.

Again, I think I need to reiterate—I really do love writing. That doesn’t mean I don’t get tired of it. I will go weeks, sometimes even months where I don’t want to even touch it. Where the thought of writing and seeing that cursor just … blink makes me shudder.

But just because I don’t want to write the story doesn’t mean I don’t want to continue with my lore.

Here is another thing about me: I love history. It was my favourite subject at school. I got an A* in it. I love how history is rich, how it’s a long, long story that is still continuing. I love thinking about how people felt. How a decision made hundreds of years ago (if not thousands!) impacts us today.

I also, secretly (guiltily) love essays. Oh, sure I complained about it with my friends whenever it got assigned. But doing the research, finding the right words to articulate your thoughts, being able to read back on your writing—sometimes even just formatting an essay—I really did love it.

And that brings us to the topic I wanted to start today.

Fictional essay writing.

When I can’t stand the thought of writing the actual story, I open a blank document and start writing an essay as though I’m a character in my book needing to write a history assignment. I add actual quotes (albeit fictional), use actual dates, even reference as though I’m the character.

It can be therapeutic sometimes. There’s no pressure to move the plot forward, no anxiety over pacing or character arcs. It’s world-building, but in a reflective way. A way that forces me to know the world I’ve created as deeply as the characters do. It makes me question my decisions, makes me stopper up plot holes.

Sometimes reading back my work—it reads as though a seasoned academic had written it. But they hadn’t—I wrote it. I wrote that battle, that political treaty, that royal lineage. It makes me strangely proud of myself; as though I’ve actually done the work to research and trawl through endless websites until I’ve snagged on one that actually fits my essay. As though I’ve spent hours agonising over it, and sending draft after draft to a professor.

It makes the world feel alive, like it’s breathing outside of the story I’m struggling to write.

And it’s funny, because half the time those essays never make it into the book. They’re tucked away in a folder no one but me will ever read. But I know they’re there. I can always re-read them when I feel the need to; when I’ve forgotten a simple fact, or a food or a certain dialect.

It really is very useful—and it helps that I love it.

Welcome to my blog!!

You can call me BW (bookworm)

my pronouns are up to you

I’m 19

I like reading books + fanfiction and watching shows ^^

Aka - One piece, Transformers, 9-1-1, Tolkien, Batfamily, etc.

I’m currently in the process of trying to plan/write a fic - so if i end up falling through I’ll change my status :D

I also like to draw and probably will post my art every now and then

I tend to be on and off with my activity ( ; _ ; )

That’s all!! Thank you!! :D

HEY FELLAS!

im @maxshortt and here's a bit of important bio & info about me, what you prolly will see when clicking on my profile for the first time:

About Me

· TF2 artist that just loves makin' "posters" and arts in Blender in a free time (notice, BLENDER, NOT SFM. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DO SHIT IN SFM, pls stop saying my works are "soo good for sfm" :3)

· i also love drawing sm

· I have my little blog page here - shortt's strawpage

· i simply love and adore TF2 and maining engineer + scout

· im currently studying graphic design (however, I'm finding making art about some 18-years-old game more convincing for mah soul 💅)

· somewhat of omnisexual and enboy, so whatever you refer to me as "he" or "they", I don't mind for both! (Im thinking if I'm on aromantic spectrum currently or not...) 🤔

· Favorite games: TF2, Minecraft, Garry's Mod, GTA series, Half-Life, Ready or Not, DPR (nothing much else im playing tbf)

· Fav music artists: Tyler, the Creator, Mac Demarco, C418, SALES, Femtanyl, Lil Nas X, Gorillaz, bbn0$, Joji, Lil Darkie, Freddie Dredd, Freddie Gibbs, The Weeknd, just random dnb music and games OST's (bruh if that's not enough then just check out my spotify playlists to know me better)

· pacifistic & agnostic ☮

· Neurodivergent & having OCD (and prolly ADHD as well, and smth else...), so...

· dont wanna go in a typical dni message here, but just to assume: DNI xenophobic/ableistic/racist/sexist/pro-war and pretty much any other shit.

· i dont post here as often as I actually want, since Im cooking my art slow, so most of the time I'll usually reblog other people's stuff Im finding pretty

· even tho I have my kind of TF2 sona, my pfp is always my Engi OC named Dell, that's pretty much all :3

WHERE ELSE TO FIND ME??3?

Imma doin' crap on Bluesky and Steam the most of the time!! Here's the full list:

Bluesky Steam LambdaGeneration Scrap.tf ArtStation(if someone even need it) my half-alive Pinterest

Hey friends! this weeks art is going to be a bit later (at some point in the next 2 days). This week has been a bit interesting for my little internet niche so I took a fair bit of the week offline. Alright, that is all for now, take care of yourselves, drink water and all that <3

A question for my followers :D

do you guys have interest in art that is non fandom related? If so, should it go on this blog, the alt, or a separate one? I’m fine with all options but I do have a fair bit of non mcyt art and crochet projects mainly watercolor and sketches that I’ve been wanting to share. Poll time!