Social Anxiety - Blog Posts

here we go again, hiding in the toilet. fck I hate my life I wanna run away pls someone help mee

also my stomach hurt so bad I'll diee

im gonna skip class again

btw im looking for new metal bands to listen to

Anxiety Moments #2

Sitting at a restaurant and feeling like everyone is microanalyzing how you sit, eat and breathe so you just revert into your shirt hole like a turtle

Anxiety Moments #1

Listening to top 10 most inspiring movie speeches in the the car to pump yourself up enough to walk into a Michael’s.

I’m too scared to open my mouth these days what’s going awwwnnn

Social anxiety be DAMNED I can make small talk with my hair dresser

i go to bars and coffee shops and breweries and libraries and thrift stores all the time by myself and i have a chill banger time i love my own company. so why is the grocery store a warzone. im fighting for my life. barely make it out alive. if someone even looks at me i want to blow them up with my mind

OMG YK WHAT PMO SO BAD????

so i have pretty bad social anxiety, and presenting in front of people is one thing, but presenting in front of people i’m not comfortable with/don’t know well is another. In this case, I’m presenting in front of people i’m not comfortable with or don’t know well. Sometimes while i’m presenting, i’ll be talking, then all of a sudden in the middle of saying a word, i’ll just stop speaking unintentionally. it’s like, for example, “I love Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure so mu-…” AND THEN I JUST STOP SPEAKING??? It’s like my breath gives out or something??? idk but it pmo so bad and i’m so tired of it😭

Another thing with my social anxiety is that it takes me a while to actually get started on talking when presenting something in class. I just stand there and look dumb. I look around the room and at the floor then back to my teacher and they’re just like, “It’s fine. Whenever you’re ready” and then I try again, but i just CANT DO IT. So of course my classmates get impatient and start looking at their friends with THOSE kinds of facial expressions while they wait for me to finally start talking. Then when I do the other problem I talked about before starts up☹️ idk what to do you guys ugh this is so annoying

sorry for the yap

Job interviewer: We will call you between 12am and 2pm to tell you our decision regarding your application.

Me: Guess I can do nothing in that time except starring at my phone and let my anxiety spiral.

I was gonna say "Me during quarantine", but let's be real, it's me all the time

I have like a really tight knit group of friends like I have my main friend group and then like their bf or gf

Also I have social anxiety

I can’t ever respect you, you bounded everything to make me hate you. It’s same thing every time, everyone has fun and you make light-hearted joke until you get ostracised and bullied. Not everybody can makes jokes apparently, but not all people can be friends as well. I am forced to be evil because you need me to be one. I can’t be your friend neither a bystander, I need to be the consummate for your friendships.

Even if I didn’t ever want it. That’s why I can never respect you.

If you ever feel sorry for yourself just remember that I got scolded by the cashier at McDonalds’ because I was so socially awkward and couldn’t even speak when it came to my turn to order

so i made another picrew of myself and this one more accurately depicts me, and you can make yourself here: https://picrew.me/image_maker/400146

i feel like i have an innate inability to connect with others. But whatever

for my fellow social anxiety peeps

also haiku of the week

Meet my first drawn (human) OC, Bessie and her Spinda!

Bessie is 12 no matter what it says on the info sheet.

She/her

Sometimes nicknamed (Messy-Bessie)

She is messy, disorganized and forgetful.

Spinda's trainer.

Headphones with Spinda's swirls on them

She gets nervous sometimes when talking to people, she doesn't know what to say most of the time and sometimes ends up staring at people.

Often overthinks things; sees problems bigger than they actually are

The slightest interaction with a stranger, or worse a person she knows but doesn't really know can make her melt over how "awkward" that was, but Spinda helps her come back to reality.

Spinda

Has no spots (i was just drawing Spindas but not this Spinda)

He/Him

I mean it has red on it but not spots

Neat, organized and polite

Bessie's partner

Wears a hat and scarf

Helps Bessie calm down and guide her on social situations (or smth)

I have a lot of pokemon oc ideas but i'm bad at drawing so they just live in my imagination. Fun Fact: I didn't mean to make an oc just bored in science and wanted to do smth with Spinda

If any of y'all who see this wanna do something with her like redraw her or give her an occupation or something be my guest!

Trying to figure out if my social anxiety is a result of my depression or if my depression is a result of my social anxiety

I wish I'd started picking up hobbies before my social anxiety started because now I can't even learn to ride a bike or rollerscate because I MIGHT FALL OVER IN PUBLIC AND DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT

All those times I fucked up saying my fast-food order come to haunt me at night

The feeling of losing something, but you don't know what you are losing. You just feel lost.

Crippling loneliness in the age of the internet:

"Why do people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?"

~Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart (1999)

Let me set the scene:

In a dark room, the only light is coming from the phone of a girl laying on the bed, as she mindlessly scrolls for hours on end. She is typing fast, she is running multiple apps in the background, she is listening to the latest hits while doing all of this, her earphones never leave her ears; even when she closes her eyes, she is still listening to a podcast. Despite all these activities happening around her. The girl looks bored and apathetic, her eyes are blank, no emotions, no thoughts. And for hours to come she stays in that state, waiting for something to happen, even if it doesn't, she doesn't care.

This could be the opening lines of a sci-fi novel but this is actually how I act when I am alone. This is how my life has become. And while people like to blame this on the internet that has made Gen Z mindless zombies; I think the only reason I haven't died is because of the internet. To normal people it's a curse that makes humanity fall to its lowest. To me it gave a purpose, a want and a direction to live for.

The Internet isn't the evil mastermind to me, it's a necessity that has kept me alive and not succumbing to the fact I have no one to talk with.

Internet to me isn't Instagram, Snapchat, Discord,Twi--X (someone stop Elon Musk from cooking), it's the "quirky" apps like Pinterest, Tumblr and Reddit as well as the depths of content that is YouTube. It's the places where I found "my" people who understood me, who accepted me, who appreciated me. Growing up I had no one to talk with, even my own family wasn't understanding, let alone my friends.

During my school life I had always been surrounded by friends or as I like to put it, people I can talk to and have lunch with during school hours. That's what it was, nothing more than that. My idea of friends was just different from others, I didn't want emotional connection or people to hang out with. I wanted friends who would listen to my ramblings and be able to debate and discuss things with.

I don't want to seem pretentious or snobbish and definitely not above others in any way. But....when I am surrounded by so many frustratingly stupid people, I don't have any other words to describe them than "not good enough for me". They may be wonderful people, who are warm and lively. I do not care about being around such people. I am someone that watches video essays on morality, ethics, philosophy and analysis of movies and TV, in comparison to the people I know I am just more perceptive and thoughtful and that alone makes me seem like a stranger to them (INTPs are weird in short form). My dad told me smart people have it hard to make friends because of this exact nature, I wouldn't call myself incredibly intelligent but I know I am far more capable in thinking than my classmates who watch reality TV shows and Tiktok dances. Sometimes I cannot even comprehend how people can even get satisfaction and happiness from something as simple as that and that's when I understand: it's okay to be different than that and it's okay that they are "normal".

I feel like I am Lain from "Serial Experiments Lain", as if my existence is given meaning by the internet and I was born from it. My lack of social interactions in person can be explained by that, but it's the thought of talking with other people that often scares me. I am used to being silent, so much so that even on the internet, I remain quiet, not interacting with people who might understand me. Being afraid of not being understood has stopped me from even trying to make connections when there's people ready to do that.

I don't even reply to comments on my posts, unless I have to and I don't talk with anyone on the internet itself. I just watch and be happy at other people's interactions and feel a sense of belonging.

For some days I decided to stop doing that, to stop the vow of silence. To let people approach me and approach others myself. I want to be friends and it's the only thing that I have ever considered as something I couldn't achieve.

Loneliness isn't as pretty as the movies and books tell you. It's more of a psychological thriller than a show like Euphoria and Skins where these stylised depictions make my depression and loneliness appear cool. It's cool to be alone, to have my own space and not cross boundaries but it's not cool to let the loneliness that shields me, devour me.

too afraid to reblog, i dont wanna mess up the 420 notes on a post, someone pls tell me how to overcome tumblr social anxiety

-Social event-

Nabu:I think I’m going to take Layla home.

Helia:But she’s doing fine.

Layla aproching to them: Nabu, these people are invasive and weird.

Nearby person: What’s your name?

Layla: Wouldnt you like to fucking know.

Layla*turning to Nabu*: You gotta take me out of here.

Man I love having Social Anxiety ™ 😋😜😎

I have to keep reminding myself that the people laughjng around me aren't laughing at me

I love not being able to answer questions when I'm asked them

I LOVE the feeling of people staying at me when I enter quiet rooms

LOVE THAT FEELING WHEN I walk into large rooms and it feels like I'm being judged

Yeahhh 😎😎😎😎

Also, I drew my dnd character a couple days ago! Meet Ekan! He's such a goofy goober. He totally isn't traumatized by the death of one of his parents, the fact that his only friend turned into a wendigo, and being sentenced to life on an island because he stole some bread!

every time i interact with someone on the internet i'm convinced that i've messed it up horribly and come across as a Total Weirdo, when in actuality all i've said is like "hi i think this is really cool!" and maybe replied one (1) too many times

Friends

I really want to be friends with artists so I can give them ideas on what to draw but I have social anxiety. (;ω;)